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Bro Tips. Shhhh, secret. Don't tell the ladies.
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"Don't talk about sex during the first meet. Until she/couple brings it up."
See, I play it the other way - be as suggestive and flirty as you dare.
Maybe not, as you say, talk about shagging on the first date but be open and daring. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are just better being yourself. If someone is not going to like you for whatever reason, it's better that they find that out at the very beginning.
It is probably not the best game plan. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are just better being yourself. If someone is not going to like you for whatever reason, it's better that they find that out at the very beginning.
It is probably not the best game plan."
Did someone not get the Memo? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't talk about sex during the first meet. Until she/couple brings it up.
I'm hoping to be having sex on the first meet not talking about it!!  "
Saucepot. |
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"Rub cologne behind your ears after a shower.
When you kiss a woman on the cheek. They will smell it. "
That sounds like a tip from the programme "queer eye for the straight guy", lol. Another tip i got from that programme was to rub moisturiser on your elbows before you go out (if wearing a t-shirt, or short sleeve shirt), keeps the skin there nice and soft and apparently ladies will notice these things.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Here's a tip for you Thingy: you and Funky Monkey double up and I'll get in the car and be in Newcastle quicker than you can say wormhole.
"
But not on a Thursday  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any more Bro Tips?
I think Ligeia is winning this one
I knew I should have kept my mouth shut.  "
No, I love the fact the best bro tip by far has come from a woman |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"Rub cologne behind your ears after a shower.
When you kiss a woman on the cheek. They will smell it.
That sounds like a tip from the programme "queer eye for the straight guy", lol. Another tip i got from that programme was to rub moisturiser on your elbows before you go out (if wearing a t-shirt, or short sleeve shirt), keeps the skin there nice and soft and apparently ladies will notice these things. "
Jesus, I'm fucked then! My hands are like sandpaper and I don't think moisturiser is bringing them back.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Rub cologne behind your ears after a shower.
When you kiss a woman on the cheek. They will smell it.
That sounds like a tip from the programme "queer eye for the straight guy", lol. Another tip i got from that programme was to rub moisturiser on your elbows before you go out (if wearing a t-shirt, or short sleeve shirt), keeps the skin there nice and soft and apparently ladies will notice these things. "
I notice elbows, but it's only because mine are incredibly rough, despite my best efforts, and therefore probably a man. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Rub cologne behind your ears after a shower.
When you kiss a woman on the cheek. They will smell it.
That sounds like a tip from the programme "queer eye for the straight guy", lol. Another tip i got from that programme was to rub moisturiser on your elbows before you go out (if wearing a t-shirt, or short sleeve shirt), keeps the skin there nice and soft and apparently ladies will notice these things.
I notice elbows, but it's only because mine are incredibly rough, despite my best efforts, and therefore probably a man. "
My right elbow is always really soft. Every now and then my left wrinkles and goes rough. I must lean on it during sex or something |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find tucking her hair behind her ears is a good start. In the lady on lady move stakes, anyway.
Oh I can see that... That's really quite sexy! "
It is when she's sucking on your cock too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Any more Bro Tips?
I think Ligeia is winning this one
I knew I should have kept my mouth shut.
No, I love the fact the best bro tip by far has come from a woman "
 evil giggles |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Slightly out of focus, arty style pics will hide all manner of evils - beer guts, wrinkles, oddly shaped cocks.
And if you make them B&W even better! It'll hide the sunburn on your bald spot and the dodgy vest marks from when you were trying the 'Suns out - guns out' pose down the garden centre without applying sunblock.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Slightly out of focus, arty style pics will hide all manner of evils - beer guts, wrinkles, oddly shaped cocks.
And if you make them B&W even better! It'll hide the sunburn on your bald spot and the dodgy vest marks from when you were trying the 'Suns out - guns out' pose down the garden centre without applying sunblock.
A"
Bugger, you noticed |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"Slightly out of focus, arty style pics will hide all manner of evils - beer guts, wrinkles, oddly shaped cocks.
And if you make them B&W even better! It'll hide the sunburn on your bald spot and the dodgy vest marks from when you were trying the 'Suns out - guns out' pose down the garden centre without applying sunblock.
A"
Damn!
And, for what its worth, its a "farmer tan" |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Slightly out of focus, arty style pics will hide all manner of evils - beer guts, wrinkles, oddly shaped cocks.
And if you make them B&W even better! It'll hide the sunburn on your bald spot and the dodgy vest marks from when you were trying the 'Suns out - guns out' pose down the garden centre without applying sunblock.
A
Damn!
And, for what its worth, its a "farmer tan""
Shit!! 
I thought it was just me! 
Sorry fellas - seems I've inadvertently blown our cover.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find tucking her hair behind her ears is a good start. In the lady on lady move stakes, anyway.
"
I gave a girl the giggly shakes once when I did that once. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find tucking her hair behind her ears is a good start. In the lady on lady move stakes, anyway.
Ooh like that 
Ooh me too x"
Not me, hate it, hand coming up toward my face will be blocked. Violent ex, can't stand hands On/near my face, ever. |
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"Rub cologne behind your ears after a shower.
When you kiss a woman on the cheek. They will smell it.
That sounds like a tip from the programme "queer eye for the straight guy", lol. Another tip i got from that programme was to rub moisturiser on your elbows before you go out (if wearing a t-shirt, or short sleeve shirt), keeps the skin there nice and soft and apparently ladies will notice these things.
I notice elbows, but it's only because mine are incredibly rough, despite my best efforts, and therefore probably a man. "
If i ever get to meet you anna i won't be looking at your elbows. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I find tucking her hair behind her ears is a good start. In the lady on lady move stakes, anyway.
Ooh like that
Ooh me too x
Not me, hate it, hand coming up toward my face will be blocked. Violent ex, can't stand hands On/near my face, ever. "
I don't really like people messing around with my hair. I fear it's going to come out in clumps in their hand AND that they will make it all big and pouffy.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Don't wash your willie for two weeks before a meet, that way she can still find it if she is blind.
First message must include the phrase
" u up 4 a fuk now am hrd 4ur pussy"
...and the clincher... if the lady is part of a couple remember to ignore his existence completely. ..
Follow these rules and you will be knee deep in clunge fellas.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Could always try the "Abraham Lincoln"
Shoot a load into the back of her head and then try to get out of the theatre before getting caught "
Quality! Lmfao |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Make sure you've trimmed those eyebrows, ears and plucked your nostrils
Werewolf isn't in this year "
I find the nostril hairs useful for a bit of whipping. A bit of pepper, then when you're sneezing you can flog her with them |
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I'm sharing one of my most closely guarded secrets to my success here guys.
SO NO TELLING THE CHICKS!!!
Bros I would like to introduce you to a little thing I like to call.......
!!!THE DINOSAUR COCK SHOT!!!
As every forum regular knows I have a team of researchers in my underground HQ/laboratory/skin factory that beaver away trying to give me the edge on those pesky ladies.
A little while ago now there was a massive break through. My scientists had hit upon a novel psychological trick. By taking my cock shots surrounded by small plastic toy dinosaurs it triggered an automatic reflex in the chicks (and ghey bros) where they assume that because my cock appears bigger than the dinosaurs subconsciously they actually think I have giant monster cock larger than a T Rex. This and this alone has cemented me as the legendary swordsman that I am.
You're welcome! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm sharing one of my most closely guarded secrets to my success here guys.
SO NO TELLING THE CHICKS!!!
Bros I would like to introduce you to a little thing I like to call.......
!!!THE DINOSAUR COCK SHOT!!!
As every forum regular knows I have a team of researchers in my underground HQ/laboratory/skin factory that beaver away trying to give me the edge on those pesky ladies.
A little while ago now there was a massive break through. My scientists had hit upon a novel psychological trick. By taking my cock shots surrounded by small plastic toy dinosaurs it triggered an automatic reflex in the chicks (and ghey bros) where they assume that because my cock appears bigger than the dinosaurs subconsciously they actually think I have giant monster cock larger than a T Rex. This and this alone has cemented me as the legendary swordsman that I am.
You're welcome! "
Off to look for dinosaurs .... |
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"I'm sharing one of my most closely guarded secrets to my success here guys.
SO NO TELLING THE CHICKS!!!
Bros I would like to introduce you to a little thing I like to call.......
!!!THE DINOSAUR COCK SHOT!!!
As every forum regular knows I have a team of researchers in my underground HQ/laboratory/skin factory that beaver away trying to give me the edge on those pesky ladies.
A little while ago now there was a massive break through. My scientists had hit upon a novel psychological trick. By taking my cock shots surrounded by small plastic toy dinosaurs it triggered an automatic reflex in the chicks (and ghey bros) where they assume that because my cock appears bigger than the dinosaurs subconsciously they actually think I have giant monster cock larger than a T Rex. This and this alone has cemented me as the legendary swordsman that I am.
You're welcome!
Off to look for dinosaurs ...."
I can take you back to the Plasticine Era in my time-machine if you like
Then again, I'm not sure we should be encouraging him with his raptor-cock stuff... It won't end well... |
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"I'm sharing one of my most closely guarded secrets to my success here guys.
SO NO TELLING THE CHICKS!!!
Bros I would like to introduce you to a little thing I like to call.......
!!!THE DINOSAUR COCK SHOT!!!
As every forum regular knows I have a team of researchers in my underground HQ/laboratory/skin factory that beaver away trying to give me the edge on those pesky ladies.
A little while ago now there was a massive break through. My scientists had hit upon a novel psychological trick. By taking my cock shots surrounded by small plastic toy dinosaurs it triggered an automatic reflex in the chicks (and ghey bros) where they assume that because my cock appears bigger than the dinosaurs subconsciously they actually think I have giant monster cock larger than a T Rex. This and this alone has cemented me as the legendary swordsman that I am.
You're welcome!
Off to look for dinosaurs ....
I can take you back to the Plasticine Era in my time-machine if you like
Then again, I'm not sure we should be encouraging him with his raptor-cock stuff... It won't end well... "
I thought it was my turn for the TM this weekend? |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I'm sharing one of my most closely guarded secrets to my success here guys.
SO NO TELLING THE CHICKS!!!
Bros I would like to introduce you to a little thing I like to call.......
!!!THE DINOSAUR COCK SHOT!!!
As every forum regular knows I have a team of researchers in my underground HQ/laboratory/skin factory that beaver away trying to give me the edge on those pesky ladies.
A little while ago now there was a massive break through. My scientists had hit upon a novel psychological trick. By taking my cock shots surrounded by small plastic toy dinosaurs it triggered an automatic reflex in the chicks (and ghey bros) where they assume that because my cock appears bigger than the dinosaurs subconsciously they actually think I have giant monster cock larger than a T Rex. This and this alone has cemented me as the legendary swordsman that I am.
You're welcome!
Off to look for dinosaurs ....
I can take you back to the Plasticine Era in my time-machine if you like
Then again, I'm not sure we should be encouraging him with his raptor-cock stuff... It won't end well... "
Would plasticine dinosaurs work as well?
We've no toy dinosaurs sadly but I once made a scale model of Fraggle Rock out of plasticine - I'm sure I could knock up a brontosaurus in no time! 
A |
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"I'm sharing one of my most closely guarded secrets to my success here guys.
SO NO TELLING THE CHICKS!!!
Bros I would like to introduce you to a little thing I like to call.......
!!!THE DINOSAUR COCK SHOT!!!
As every forum regular knows I have a team of researchers in my underground HQ/laboratory/skin factory that beaver away trying to give me the edge on those pesky ladies.
A little while ago now there was a massive break through. My scientists had hit upon a novel psychological trick. By taking my cock shots surrounded by small plastic toy dinosaurs it triggered an automatic reflex in the chicks (and ghey bros) where they assume that because my cock appears bigger than the dinosaurs subconsciously they actually think I have giant monster cock larger than a T Rex. This and this alone has cemented me as the legendary swordsman that I am.
You're welcome!
Off to look for dinosaurs ....
I can take you back to the Plasticine Era in my time-machine if you like
Then again, I'm not sure we should be encouraging him with his raptor-cock stuff... It won't end well...
I thought it was my turn for the TM this weekend?"
Well I suppose so...
But NO GLITTER! 
And make sure yoy use the bog brush next time! |
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If your sharing a romantic bath, you know, candles, music, petals that kind of shit and nature calls and you need to fart.
Be polite and stand up to do it.
That rules applies to Ladies or Gentlemen. |
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"I'm sharing one of my most closely guarded secrets to my success here guys.
SO NO TELLING THE CHICKS!!!
Bros I would like to introduce you to a little thing I like to call.......
!!!THE DINOSAUR COCK SHOT!!!
As every forum regular knows I have a team of researchers in my underground HQ/laboratory/skin factory that beaver away trying to give me the edge on those pesky ladies.
A little while ago now there was a massive break through. My scientists had hit upon a novel psychological trick. By taking my cock shots surrounded by small plastic toy dinosaurs it triggered an automatic reflex in the chicks (and ghey bros) where they assume that because my cock appears bigger than the dinosaurs subconsciously they actually think I have giant monster cock larger than a T Rex. This and this alone has cemented me as the legendary swordsman that I am.
You're welcome!
Off to look for dinosaurs ...."
A lady I know used a dinosaur toy, ended up with a megasoreass |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Try not being over nicey nicey, gets u nowhere, on here girls like a guy with an edge,
Hence my shite success rate ha
Defo gonna try that lynx tip though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm sharing one of my most closely guarded secrets to my success here guys.
SO NO TELLING THE CHICKS!!!
Bros I would like to introduce you to a little thing I like to call.......
!!!THE DINOSAUR COCK SHOT!!!
As every forum regular knows I have a team of researchers in my underground HQ/laboratory/skin factory that beaver away trying to give me the edge on those pesky ladies.
A little while ago now there was a massive break through. My scientists had hit upon a novel psychological trick. By taking my cock shots surrounded by small plastic toy dinosaurs it triggered an automatic reflex in the chicks (and ghey bros) where they assume that because my cock appears bigger than the dinosaurs subconsciously they actually think I have giant monster cock larger than a T Rex. This and this alone has cemented me as the legendary swordsman that I am.
You're welcome!
Off to look for dinosaurs ....
A lady I know used a dinosaur toy, ended up with a megasoreass "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find tucking her hair behind her ears is a good start. In the lady on lady move stakes, anyway.
Ooh like that
Ooh me too x
Not me, hate it, hand coming up toward my face will be blocked. Violent ex, can't stand hands On/near my face, ever.
I don't really like people messing around with my hair. I fear it's going to come out in clumps in their hand AND that they will make it all big and pouffy.
"
Nor me... Especially if I have taken a while to style it... To then have a hand moving it about pft |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
When meeting someone new for the first time always write their name on a post it note.
Then when you're doing them doggy style you can place said post it note on their back - and thus avoid a game of rodeo sex (trying to stay on for dear life) when you accidentally call them the wrong name.
A
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm sure I could knock up a brontosaurus in no time!
A
You can't get Brontosaurs pregnant I've tried believe me!"
Genetically incompatible doesn't change just because you've a time machine |
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"I'm sure I could knock up a brontosaurus in no time!
A
You can't get Brontosaurs pregnant I've tried believe me!
Genetically incompatible doesn't change just because you've a time machine "
Well I know that nowwwwww! |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I'm sure I could knock up a brontosaurus in no time!
A
You can't get Brontosaurs pregnant I've tried believe me!
Genetically incompatible doesn't change just because you've a time machine
Well I know that nowwwwww!"
A lucky escape!!
In 18 years you could have had a herd of irate brontosauruses knocking on your door asking for years of backdated birthday and Xmas presents!!
Worst still they could have gone on JK and made you do a DNA test!
A |
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A tip I learnt from Father Ted: let perspective be your friend. Put the remote/can of deodorant on the floor before you take a pic of your cock.
That isn't really Mrs ddc squirting, nor is that my big blue cock between her legs.
Sadly I was arrested trying to do my Nelson's column comparison 
(curse those Japanese tourists)
Mr ddc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You are just better being yourself. If someone is not going to like you for whatever reason, it's better that they find that out at the very beginning.
It is probably not the best game plan.
Did someone not get the Memo?"
Lol |
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"I'm sure I could knock up a brontosaurus in no time!
A
You can't get Brontosaurs pregnant I've tried believe me!
Genetically incompatible doesn't change just because you've a time machine
Well I know that nowwwwww!
A lucky escape!!
In 18 years you could have had a herd of irate brontosauruses knocking on your door asking for years of backdated birthday and Xmas presents!!
Worst still they could have gone on JK and made you do a DNA test!
A"
LOL oh the shame. I live dinosaur paternity test on JK. I'm just picturing Mrs. Brontosaur giving it 'all that' for the cameras, bitch!
Still, the backdated presents wouldn't be a problem they pretty much just like pebbles and leaves, that sort of pre-historic shit. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"When she's on top hold onto them breasts otherwise you could get hypnotised by the up and down motion.
Is that why men hang on to them? Doh!"
Of course not.
The men with small cocks hold them tightly so you don't fall off!
A |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A tip I learnt from Father Ted: let perspective be your friend. Put the remote/can of deodorant on the floor before you take a pic of your cock.
That isn't really Mrs ddc squirting, nor is that my big blue cock between her legs.
Sadly I was arrested trying to do my Nelson's column comparison
(curse those Japanese tourists)
Mr ddc"
There was someone in another thread doing this. His cock was three times the height of his head. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"When she's on top hold onto them breasts otherwise you could get hypnotised by the up and down motion.
Is that why men hang on to them? Doh!
Of course not.
The men with small cocks hold them tightly so you don't fall off!
A"
This right here is the type of life skills so many men are missing. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"When she's on top hold onto them breasts otherwise you could get hypnotised by the up and down motion.
Is that why men hang on to them? Doh!
Of course not.
The men with small cocks hold them tightly so you don't fall off!
A"
They can't fall off as they are securely pinned down under my magnificence.
|
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"When she's on top hold onto them breasts otherwise you could get hypnotised by the up and down motion.
Is that why men hang on to them? Doh!
Of course not.
The men with small cocks hold them tightly so you don't fall off!
A
This right here is the type of life skills so many men are missing. "
Having seen the Obi cock pictures the word impaled comes to mind. If it's possible to fall off that thing then you'd better put crash mats down to break the fall.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When she's on top hold onto them breasts otherwise you could get hypnotised by the up and down motion.
Is that why men hang on to them? Doh!
Of course not.
The men with small cocks hold them tightly so you don't fall off!
A
This right here is the type of life skills so many men are missing.
Having seen the Obi cock pictures the word impaled comes to mind. If it's possible to fall off that thing then you'd better put crash mats down to break the fall.
"
saunters off to have a look |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Always open doors for her to prove you're a gentleman, then at the last second jump through before her (preferably pushing her out of the way without hurting her, this will come with practice) and slam the door in her face to prove you're a real man and not a push over.
Again however be careful with the door slamming, women seem quite attached to their nose and for some strange reason detest it being broken.....
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When she's on top hold onto them breasts otherwise you could get hypnotised by the up and down motion.
Is that why men hang on to them? Doh!
Of course not.
The men with small cocks hold them tightly so you don't fall off!
A
This right here is the type of life skills so many men are missing.
Having seen the Obi cock pictures the word impaled comes to mind. If it's possible to fall off that thing then you'd better put crash mats down to break the fall.
"
Donut Lickety? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Before sex, women like you to get them in the mood by whispering in their ear.
The two I use most commonly are:
"Do you need an asprin?"
and
"Are you awake?"
Mr ddc"
You never fail to make me laugh
And to think Mrs ddc deserves a medal |
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