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What should I do?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have caught out my partner lying to me big time 3 times now, the question is should I continue the relationship or should I give him the big heave hoe. Each time he has won me back, but now I'm always wondering if he's lying again. Yet I always give a 'but' when I think of ending it |
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By *ormal300Man
over a year ago
happy hampshire |
Depends on weather the pro's out weigh the cons? How much you love/like him and weather you want to give your life up wondering what he's doing or who he's with? Most people would say good bye but only you truly know how good or bad the relationship is? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have caught out my partner lying to me big time 3 times now, the question is should I continue the relationship or should I give him the big heave hoe. Each time he has won me back, but now I'm always wondering if he's lying again. Yet I always give a 'but' when I think of ending it"
Depends on what the lies are about. Think about how you will feel when it's 10 times you found out he'd been telling big lies. If you're happy with that then it's all good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i was with someone for some years who lied about anything and everything...i made the wrong decision; to try and work things out,but tied myself in knots trying to check up on every little thing...drove myself crazy and ended up homeless as one of the few things id failed to check was what was happening with the rent! i think someone who lies casually rarely stops...and once they know you know and are putting up with it,it gives them carte blanche to carry on...why would they stop? you're self respect and peace of mind are more important! good luck! |
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I wouldn't have given him a 2nd chance, let alone 3! (But then again it depends on what he's lying about).
Once could maybe be forgiven, two is pushing it as he should've learned the 1st time, if he's done it after being given a third chance, he can't have that much care or respect for you.
Sorry O.P. 
Dump his sorry arse! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have caught out my partner lying to me big time 3 times now, the question is should I continue the relationship or should I give him the big heave hoe. Each time he has won me back, but now I'm always wondering if he's lying again. Yet I always give a 'but' when I think of ending it
Depends on what the lies are about. Think about how you will feel when it's 10 times you found out he'd been telling big lies. If you're happy with that then it's all good. "
Never thought of it like that - thanks |
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By *avebi48Man
over a year ago
Lordswood |
once trust is lost in a relationship you're in trouble. Whether you can both work things out only you two can know but you'd need to be open and honest with each other, can you trust that they're being honest...? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have caught out my partner lying to me big time 3 times now, the question is should I continue the relationship or should I give him the big heave hoe. Each time he has won me back, but now I'm always wondering if he's lying again. Yet I always give a 'but' when I think of ending it"
You are verified by two meets. I am assuming your partner was aware of these. If so, and if you do not like your partner cheating on you, then ditch him. Or give him one last chance. If not, then maybe a leopard does not change it's spots.o |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Three strikes and your out?
I wouldn't put up with it
I keep hoping the Leopard will change their spots"
Nobody changes unless you 'force' them to.
Find out why he's lying, this is more important than the lies themselves because this is how you deal with the lies and change how they interact with you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think your mistake OP, was giving him a chance after the second time.
The first time? Well, OK, we can all make mistakes etc, and so I could understand you giving him another chance, but you should have made it very clear right then, that he would get no more chances after that.
By giving him another chance after the second time, you've given him the message that he can just keep on doing it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you really need to ask?
1. Open door
2. Your boot
3. His arse!
Bye bye!!   "
Lov the Step by step approach... Ps you want someone who you can trust and you feel insecure without them, not someone who you can't trust and doubt |
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"I have caught out my partner lying to me big time 3 times now, the question is should I continue the relationship or should I give him the big heave hoe. Each time he has won me back, but now I'm always wondering if he's lying again. Yet I always give a 'but' when I think of ending it"
What did he lie about and how did her win you back?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does your partner know you're on here ??Yes, we only get one side of t eh story.
We only ever get one side Shag. I bet its different in Penge though "
That's right, we got few storys in penge lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have caught out my partner lying to me big time 3 times now, the question is should I continue the relationship or should I give him the big heave hoe. Each time he has won me back, but now I'm always wondering if he's lying again. Yet I always give a 'but' when I think of ending it"
Ditch. I'd have done it after the first time.
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"I have caught out my partner lying to me big time 3 times now, the question is should I continue the relationship or should I give him the big heave hoe. Each time he has won me back, but now I'm always wondering if he's lying again. Yet I always give a 'but' when I think of ending it"
Will you genuinely act on the advice of strangers on such an important matter? |
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"Sometimes advice from strangers works better than advice from someone close to you. "
Yes I thought that after I posted. But I wonder if she would actually leave or stay if the consensus was in favour of one or the other. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I have caught out my partner lying to me big time 3 times now, the question is should I continue the relationship or should I give him the big heave hoe. Each time he has won me back, but now I'm always wondering if he's lying again. Yet I always give a 'but' when I think of ending it"
I am guessing by "big time" the lies are too important for you to think of as trivial. Obviously no one can tell you what to do, only what they would do, but only you know what is right for you.
You need trust in a relationship, it sounds like you have none.
Good luck in whatever you decide  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Sometimes advice from strangers works better than advice from someone close to you.
Yes I thought that after I posted. But I wonder if she would actually leave or stay if the consensus was in favour of one or the other."
I should imagine it wouldn't be a 5 to stay, 6 to go thing, more she might get confirmation of something she is already thinking which in turn will give the answer she is looking for. |
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"Sometimes advice from strangers works better than advice from someone close to you.
Yes I thought that after I posted. But I wonder if she would actually leave or stay if the consensus was in favour of one or the other.
I should imagine it wouldn't be a 5 to stay, 6 to go thing, more she might get confirmation of something she is already thinking which in turn will give the answer she is looking for."
Yes, I was maybe interpreting too literally. Although there was a journalist who ran his life on readers suggestions  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Sometimes advice from strangers works better than advice from someone close to you.
Yes I thought that after I posted. But I wonder if she would actually leave or stay if the consensus was in favour of one or the other.
I should imagine it wouldn't be a 5 to stay, 6 to go thing, more she might get confirmation of something she is already thinking which in turn will give the answer she is looking for.
Yes, I was maybe interpreting too literally. Although there was a journalist who ran his life on readers suggestions "
That could be fun...or not |
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"Sometimes advice from strangers works better than advice from someone close to you.
Yes I thought that after I posted. But I wonder if she would actually leave or stay if the consensus was in favour of one or the other.
I should imagine it wouldn't be a 5 to stay, 6 to go thing, more she might get confirmation of something she is already thinking which in turn will give the answer she is looking for.
Yes, I was maybe interpreting too literally. Although there was a journalist who ran his life on readers suggestions
That could be fun...or not "
If the readers were fab forum members I dread to think what would happen |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"I have caught out my partner lying to me big time 3 times now, the question is should I continue the relationship or should I give him the big heave hoe. Each time he has won me back, but now I'm always wondering if he's lying again. Yet I always give a 'but' when I think of ending it"
whats the phrase...... ah, yeah
"fool me once... shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me!"
i wonder what "fool me 3 times" means....
if you took him back twice already... then you have created a rod for your own back... and he knows you'll forgive him and take him back!
so where is the incentive now for him not to lie? there isnt one... and if you are thinking "but" well.... no offence, you put yourself in that position..... |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Sometimes advice from strangers works better than advice from someone close to you.
Yes I thought that after I posted. But I wonder if she would actually leave or stay if the consensus was in favour of one or the other.
I should imagine it wouldn't be a 5 to stay, 6 to go thing, more she might get confirmation of something she is already thinking which in turn will give the answer she is looking for.
Yes, I was maybe interpreting too literally. Although there was a journalist who ran his life on readers suggestions
That could be fun...or not
If the readers were fab forum members I dread to think what would happen "
I can only imagine You should start a thread seeing if someone is up for it. |
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"Sometimes advice from strangers works better than advice from someone close to you.
Yes I thought that after I posted. But I wonder if she would actually leave or stay if the consensus was in favour of one or the other.
I should imagine it wouldn't be a 5 to stay, 6 to go thing, more she might get confirmation of something she is already thinking which in turn will give the answer she is looking for.
Yes, I was maybe interpreting too literally. Although there was a journalist who ran his life on readers suggestions
That could be fun...or not
If the readers were fab forum members I dread to think what would happen
I can only imagine You should start a thread seeing if someone is up for it."
Oh Lord! I might do that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You state you have caught out your partner 3 times now?? Your account says your single you had a meet 4 months back does he know about it?? Is he on here with you??? Does he even know that your on a swing site??? What lies has he told you??
Personally I think you need to sit down with him and iron it out talk find out why what was the cause of it?? Have you tried how long have you been in the relationship you don't give a lot away perhaps tell him this thread is up give him chance to put his side of the story |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Does your partner know you're on here ??Yes, we only get one side of t eh story."
Yes, and the verifications are from when I was on here a while ago. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sometimes advice from strangers works better than advice from someone close to you.
Yes I thought that after I posted. But I wonder if she would actually leave or stay if the consensus was in favour of one or the other.
I should imagine it wouldn't be a 5 to stay, 6 to go thing, more she might get confirmation of something she is already thinking which in turn will give the answer she is looking for."
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"I have caught out my partner lying to me big time 3 times now, the question is should I continue the relationship or should I give him the big heave hoe. Each time he has won me back, but now I'm always wondering if he's lying again. Yet I always give a 'but' when I think of ending it"
Talk to him all cards on the table and after that make a decision but if its 3 times for me it would take a lot of persuasion not to dump him. |
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For me I would have to ask the question..
In 6months time shall I be asking myself.. He's cheated on me another 3 times, should I stay or should I go.
If you feel deep down that he will cheat again then you need to make sure you are happy to allow it to happen.
If not.. Then hard as it is you should leave. Do what makes you happy, not him. |
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How important is trust and honesty to you? If it's not high on your list, give him a green card to deceive you as much as he wishes.
You know him, I don't. Why's he telling lies?
You could change the rules of the relationship, carry on as now or let go and start afresh. All may carry some pain but you need to face this to bring you to reality. |
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