FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > how much is fair ?

how much is fair ?

By *exxifun5 OP Couple over a year ago

NORWICH

my daughter has been home from Uni since the middle of May . she now has a job as we have said we cant afford to support her right through till beginning of Oct . the dilemma we now have, is tthat she will be earning about£500 per month . so how much do we take as board bearing in mind she has to run her car and also try and save some money for when she goes back to uni ? thanks Tabitha xx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *awandOrderCouple over a year ago

SW London

Depends if she is buying her own food. My oldest is saving to go travelling and expects us to totally support him until December, whereas my second one's employer is paying us £600 a month for him living at home with us as that means he is close. I have told my oldest he can stay for free if he buys the bulk of food himself. Given he is working at Waitrose and getting a good discount, I think that is fair.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Depending on what you provide I'd say £50 a week...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That would depend on how much you can afford to subside her. My children have lived with me for nothing at times. It's what you can afford to allow her to pay. If she's saving a lot of it I would take the minimum amount.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Depending on what you provide I'd say £50 a week..."
that was my first thought.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Depending on what you provide I'd say £50 a week... that was my first thought.

Not just shirts we have in common

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I don't have kids, however, I am a firm believer of them learning about the real world and how much things cost, my gut instinct would be no less than £100 per month.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *exxifun5 OP Couple over a year ago

NORWICH

at present she hasn't paid anythimg and has contributed through doing the housework . but now she is working and first payday at the end of the month so we are in discussions.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *exxifun5 OP Couple over a year ago

NORWICH

I was thinking about 100 per month. as she does have to run a car as we live very rural soneed car for work .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

£60 a week, make her realise the value of money.

Then save what u can afford of it and give her it back come Uni time.

Either that or offer her a contract that states free board and lodgings in return for full support for you when you're a pensionner.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"my daughter has been home from Uni since the middle of May . she now has a job as we have said we cant afford to support her right through till beginning of Oct . the dilemma we now have, is tthat she will be earning about£500 per month . so how much do we take as board bearing in mind she has to run her car and also try and save some money for when she goes back to uni ? thanks Tabitha xx "

When I was unemployed and 21 years old I lived with my Mum. I paid them £125 a month and I also cooked almost every meal we ate as payment for my board.

My car and my life was my problem - not theirs.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *exxifun5 OP Couple over a year ago

NORWICH

£60 a week, make her realise the value of money.

Then save what u can afford of it and give her it back come Uni time.

Either that or offer her a contract that states free board and lodgings in return for full support for you when you're a pensionner. "

I like this idea but if im old and senile she wil ltear up the contract lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *exxifun5 OP Couple over a year ago

NORWICH

When I was unemployed and 21 years old I lived with my Mum. I paid them £125 a month and I also cooked almost every meal we ate as payment for my board.

My car and my life was my problem - not theirs."

I want to support her through uni . and I dont believe its her problem . hence why I am asking as I want to be fair but also support her the best I can .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I added all outgoings, divided it by 4 then knocked a little off based on his income, as I'm generous. I still did all the chores

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

100-125 a month would be fair. Get her working round the house to make up the shortfall or get her up the chimneys! If you think 125 is too much you can always put the £25 away for a rainy day for her?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My daughter has a part time job while she is at college. We take a small amount off her, but unknowingly to her we're saving that money for her for when she moves out.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *exxifun5 OP Couple over a year ago

NORWICH

im thinking with everyone replies that 100 per month is resonable . I hate to take anything but financially we just cant afford to keep her for nothing . and her dad no longer supports her in any way.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My daughter has a part time job while she is at college. We take a small amount off her, but unknowingly to her we're saving that money for her for when she moves out. "

This is a winner...teaches them the value if the money in their pocket...unless your kid is a saver...they will blow the money...and then come back at the bank of mum and dad...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *exxifun5 OP Couple over a year ago

NORWICH

"My daughter has a part time job while she is at college. We take a small amount off her, but unknowingly to her we're saving that money for her for when she moves out.

This is a winner...teaches them the value if the money in their pocket...unless your kid is a saver...they will blow the money...and then come back at the bank of mum and dad..."

this is a lovely idea . but finacially we need the income to keep her the food bill and utilities double when she is home and we can absorb that when its just for odd weeks throighout the year but for months its actually a strain on the finances .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ask for about 1/3 and what you don't need give back when they leave or are short of money

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I was unemployed and 21 years old I lived with my Mum. I paid them £125 a month and I also cooked almost every meal we ate as payment for my board.

My car and my life was my problem - not theirs.

I want to support her through uni . and I dont believe its her problem . hence why I am asking as I want to be fair but also support her the best I can . "

As a current undergrad student I will say, that the loan does go quite far. I was able to afford living in Oxford (*very* expensive) with minimal extra income for the first year of my degree last year.

She also will get a larger third cash sum during the year which is designed to pay for her summer - so next year perhaps it might be worth suggesting that she gives a portion of that to you instead, and then whatever she earns she can keep.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"im thinking with everyone replies that 100 per month is resonable . I hate to take anything but financially we just cant afford to keep her for nothing . and her dad no longer supports her in any way. "

It is reasonable and if you take nothing (which isn't viable) is not teaching her anything, so if she is earning she has to contribute regardless.

And I agree with you about taking the car into consideration, I have two younger siblings (a lot younger) And my parents are now just on my dads pension and there is no way they could afford them now either, so don't feel bad by taking £100 per month

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *exxifun5 OP Couple over a year ago

NORWICH

It is reasonable and if you take nothing (which isn't viable) is not teaching her anything, so if she is earning she has to contribute regardless.

thank you I dont feel quite the wicked witch now when I sit down and talk to her about it x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I've had to move back with my mam and dad at various times, they just charged me what extra it cost them to have me there. So the cost of buying food for me, and the increase in gas and electric bills etc.

The thinking was that whenever I was back home it was for a reason like needing to save up for the term, so they helped me to keep as much as possible for whatever I was saving for without there being any additional cost to them of me being home.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *bi HaiveMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

How much is she costing you by being home in comparison to her not being there?

Work that out - and that's all I would charge.

Yes she's earning. But if she covers the real cost of being home why charge her any more? Is her being back increasing your mortgage/rent, council tax and other big bills?

Uni is expensive. Charging her anything excessive will reduce what she can save to cover costs when back at uni.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *limBobStretchedPantsMan over a year ago

Newcastle

What I would do is take £125 a month. But hear me out. Don't tell her you only want £50-75 a month and give her the rest back upon returning to uni. She will be over the moon with the extra cash and it will teach her to budget and not go out drinking. I used to play taxi for my mates and charge them for petrol still less than a taxi and they would buy my soft drinks all night lol.

Having been born in Norwich and lived there for a bit I am familiar with the rural ness of the area so she could make a small fortune as an unofficial mates taxi.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *exxifun5 OP Couple over a year ago

NORWICH

"How much is she costing you by being home in comparison to her not being there?

Work that out - and that's all I would charge.

Yes she's earning. But if she covers the real cost of being home why charge her any more? Is her being back increasing your mortgage/rent, council tax and other big bills?

this is why I feel so guilty, its the food and utilities that go up and as I said I can absorb it during short breaks . but five months then puts a strain on the purse strings . so my thinking is 25 per week but she seems to think 50 is sufficient for the month so the discussions continue lol x

Uni is expensive. Charging her anything excessive will reduce what she can save to cover costs when back at uni.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have you explained to her in those terms, ie that's how much it's actually costing you? You shouldn't feel guilty, it's not like you're charging her for the sake of it, it's based on the actual cost. £25 a week for food alone would sound pretty reasonable! From memory mine used to charge me £30 a week and that was about 8 or 9 years ago.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When i 16 and first started working while still living at my mums I was earning £100 a week and was paying £20 a week house keeping so in line with what the others have said

For that £20 was getting all my laundry done and my evening meal

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Maybe take her shopping for the weekly food and see how much she can get for £25. I had no clue how much things cost and when I left home it was one heck of a shock. Best she learns now while she still has time to adjust, before she's actually out on her own.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *o-jCouple over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

When I was at uni I was charged £100 a month , but when I went back to uni next term I was given it all back as a gift for being a good girl at home .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My dad always told me that once i was earning i should give my mum housekeeping.

I have taught my son the same, as i will my daughter, as hopefully next year she will go through and apprenteship and college.

They still have no idea of the real world as such, i would do them no good if i didnt show them some responsibility towards the home.

Her

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

If you can, and when you do decide on an amount. Open and ISA or a high interest savings account - I read the other comments that you have no other support, however, it is the final year when it becomes very tough at uni. Years one and two are a social, they are as much about spreading your wings as they are about learning. It may be an idea to retain this money as a buffer for this 3rd year, as you do need all the free time to plan, plan, and organise to get the ultimate goal of not wasting the 3 years and actually passing.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *exxifun5 OP Couple over a year ago

NORWICH

thank you all for your replies . she has done her first year at uni and managed her budget very well . she was spending thirty pound a fortnight on food shopping . so I think 25 a week for washing food etc is quite reasonable. and I have put my case forward to her . now to wait for pay day and see what appears lol x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

she sounds like shes doing well. I was pissed every single night of the week for the first 2 years.

I probably tried to blend a pizza at one point

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am about to charge my child board. I have said that I will have one quarter of anything she earns. I think that's more than fair.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

£20 per week if she's doing a share of house and garden chores would pay for alot of your costs, if she doesn't expect tons of high quality food. But she'd need to be saving, not partying.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All of it, The earlier they learn about being Taxed to death the better

Gimp

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am about to charge my child board. I have said that I will have one quarter of anything she earns. I think that's more than fair. "

Sounds perfectly reasonable.

If they earn lots of money and feel that they can live somewhere else cheaper, then they can!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *andom2chatMan over a year ago

A Galaxy Far, Far Away & Spain

When I first left school I have my Mum 1/3 of my wages. A 1/3 was for the bank to save for my college, & the other 1/3 was to keep me going to work, nights out, clothes etc.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

it has to be enough to teach them the value of money - i had to chuck over half my wages to mother and still had to buy certain foods myself as if i wasnt happy to eat what was on the table i could damn well do my own - so i did -

my daughter just finished uni for good and has bitsof work over the summer until teacher training starts in september - 50 quid a week if she earns enough is what we agreed on if she was to stay here then but over the summer she is buying her own food and little extras forus both - like maybe a take away treat on a weekend

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My daughter volunteered instead of a Saturday job. Still does now.

Taught her a whole different set of values.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My daughter volunteered instead of a Saturday job. Still does now.

Taught her a whole different set of values. "

Volunteering doesn't buy you books or study trips though.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've always paid for food for my child and the house and bills need paid regardless so I won't be taking anything off her. She's going to come out in £41000 in debt anyway and as I can't help with that I feel feeding her is the least I can do, only an extra potatoe in the pot, as they say. I do realise some people aren't in the position to support them through uni though.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My daughter volunteered instead of a Saturday job. Still does now.

Taught her a whole different set of values.

Volunteering doesn't buy you books or study trips though."

Thankfully she didn't need any till uni, then she got a paying job!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've always paid for food for my child and the house and bills need paid regardless so I won't be taking anything off her. She's going to come out in £41000 in debt anyway and as I can't help with that I feel feeding her is the least I can do, only an extra potatoe in the pot, as they say. I do realise some people aren't in the position to support them through uni though."

I've never taken any board off my kids either

my eldest is at full time uni so only works part time she brings home about £650 a month

she works bloody hard between uni and work and feel it would be unfair to leave her short by taking cash off her

I don't provide things like clothes or personal stuff like make up etc but I pay all the bill and do the shopping and provide essential toiletries like shampoo, shower gel, deodorant etc and pay her uni fees, by doing this she hasn't had to take out any loans so will leave uni debt free

I on the other hand will be skint

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My daughters home from uni ..she bloody works hard at uni and as a job too .Wouldn't take any money of her whilst she's home .She does buy her own clothes and I have to say if we are shopping she will offer to pay sometimes I let her but most of the time I pay.As she works for Tesco we get a discount and that helps.She does bring home shopping and as treat me so all in all I'd say we kinda go halves on bits N bobs.She helps around the house and knows the value of life so all good in our house

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Anyone want to adopt me? You all sounds really nice. :D

My boyfriend takes rent off me every month. Boooooo!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My first job at 16 (1987

), which was a topped up yts paid me about £45 a week. I paid my parents £30 a week, but I knew I was still onto a good thing.

The idea of taking £125 and keeping some back to let them have later is a very good compromise.

Mum used to give me a fiver back sometimes when dad wasn't looking. Then he might do the same. Always kept a secret though.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The key part of paying rent is teaching them to part with money for future household budgeting skills,

my intention has always been to put rent money into a separate account and give what is there (what has not been used) back when they move out,

Prob doesn't effect your situation but maybe select an amount and return any unused rather than looking at cost to you etc

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *tmmCouple over a year ago

harlow

When I started working (15yrs old) I was paying £100 a month. Theny parents started borrowing more and despite knocking my rent off when I left 3yrs later they owed me £3500....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ig1gaz1Man over a year ago

bradford

I wouldnt want to charge much however understanding the cost of living is another thing

elec was about 15.00 a week

gas 10-15.00

food say 15-20.00

best way is to keep it around uni charges then when it comes, it wont hit as hard with the cost of living

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why does a student need a car?

One luxury right there.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you take too much...they will be able to save less for next term ...and you will end up paying to support them at uni.

It is a catch 22 situation....!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why does a student need a car?

One luxury right there. "

Sometimes it's required. Clearly you have never lived in the countryside.

When I was a teenager, I lived in the countryside and needed a car to get to work. There was no other employment close.

When I started university last year I decided to keep my car, because it would be more expensive to use public transport for the places I wanted to go.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My suggestion would be to charge her more than you would think.Perhaps 1/3 of what she earns. So about £165 but there is a caveat to that which you don't tell her about from the £165 you keep the £100 and save the £65 for her and then you can give her a lumpsome before she goes back to uni. This way you know for sure she has some moment in the kitty and also teaches her financial responsibility.

I hope it helps

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I hope it helps "

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why does a student need a car?

One luxury right there.

Sometimes it's required. Clearly you have never lived in the countryside.

Clearly? Emm, wrong.

I have lived in the countryside as a student. you need to work on your deduction skills.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *exxifun5 OP Couple over a year ago

NORWICH

"Why does a student need a car?

One luxury right there.

Sometimes it's required. Clearly you have never lived in the countryside.

Clearly? Emm, wrong.

I have lived in the countryside as a student. you need to work on your deduction skills.

she needs her car as we live very rural and its a forty to fifty minute walk to the bus stop and she starts work so early that there is actually no buses running at that time x

Next"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Funny thing is, when i was a student and few of us ran cars, there were plenty of regular buses.

Who knows, it may catch on.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *exxifun5 OP Couple over a year ago

NORWICH

thank you everyone for your advice and opinions ... we have sat down and spoken and agreed 100 per month . I would love to not take anything from her at all but financially this is not viable for my situation at present. I do support her and am very proud of what she has achieved in her first year of uni , and I believe that by takimg board will also help her understand about the value of money, and how to budget effectively . thank you all again for you help x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *exxifun5 OP Couple over a year ago

NORWICH

Funny thing is, when i was a student and few of us ran cars, there were plenty of regular buses.

Who knows, it may catch on.

we have been fighting our local council for years for a bus service and regualr buses for people to commute into work !!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Funny thing is, when i was a student and few of us ran cars, there were plenty of regular buses.

Who knows, it may catch on.

That's funny. Because there's never been a bus service where I used to live. It was at least a thirty minute walk along narrow roads with blind bends.

Not safe, especially not for a young woman.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why does a student need a car?

One luxury right there.

Sometimes it's required. Clearly you have never lived in the countryside.

Clearly? Emm, wrong.

I have lived in the countryside as a student. you need to work on your deduction skills.

she needs her car as we live very rural and its a forty to fifty minute walk to the bus stop and she starts work so early that there is actually no buses running at that time x

Next"

you have heard of that two wheel thing yes? you know, the one you buy and then costs sweet FA to run.

dunno, maybe its still not reached some places.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why does a student need a car?

One luxury right there.

Sometimes it's required. Clearly you have never lived in the countryside.

Clearly? Emm, wrong.

I have lived in the countryside as a student. you need to work on your deduction skills.

she needs her car as we live very rural and its a forty to fifty minute walk to the bus stop and she starts work so early that there is actually no buses running at that time x

you have heard of that two wheel thing yes? you know, the one you buy and then costs sweet FA to run.

dunno, maybe its still not reached some places.

next"

You seem to have a real issue with this young girl having a car. She has probably worked hard to get this car and works hard to keep, a car these days is not luxury.

You know nothing of her circumstances yet you have judged her.

or is it you just have something against students ?!!!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Totally agree with Karma, the OP wanted advice and it turned into a onslaught of opinions based on the car

But what is the suggestion, OP insist her daughter get rid of her car so they can get more rent money,

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why does a student need a car?

One luxury right there.

Sometimes it's required. Clearly you have never lived in the countryside.

Clearly? Emm, wrong.

I have lived in the countryside as a student. you need to work on your deduction skills.

she needs her car as we live very rural and its a forty to fifty minute walk to the bus stop and she starts work so early that there is actually no buses running at that time x

you have heard of that two wheel thing yes? you know, the one you buy and then costs sweet FA to run.

dunno, maybe its still not reached some places.

next"

Yeah... bikes... really practical when you want to move lots of stuff from A to B (like a student going back to university). Not very practical if you have to cycle to a high crime area and leave your bike. Also not practical if you want to go away for more than a couple of days at a time.

Also worth considering that a decent bike that will stand up to being ridden every day over a fair distance (aka commuting) will cost the best part of a grand for a woman (because apparently the bike manufacturers don't believe we need sub £500 entry level road bikes) so at that point you might as well keep a cheap car. It doesn't cost much more.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why does a student need a car?

One luxury right there.

Sometimes it's required. Clearly you have never lived in the countryside.

Clearly? Emm, wrong.

I have lived in the countryside as a student. you need to work on your deduction skills.

she needs her car as we live very rural and its a forty to fifty minute walk to the bus stop and she starts work so early that there is actually no buses running at that time x

you have heard of that two wheel thing yes? you know, the one you buy and then costs sweet FA to run.

dunno, maybe its still not reached some places.

Jesus Christ, there's a student talking lol.

Halfords have a "lady" bicycle (although let's face facts you can ride a gents) £109.

Also last time I looked insuring a car for a student!!.

£2500

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why does a student need a car?

One luxury right there.

Sometimes it's required. Clearly you have never lived in the countryside.

Clearly? Emm, wrong.

I have lived in the countryside as a student. you need to work on your deduction skills.

she needs her car as we live very rural and its a forty to fifty minute walk to the bus stop and she starts work so early that there is actually no buses running at that time x

you have heard of that two wheel thing yes? you know, the one you buy and then costs sweet FA to run.

dunno, maybe its still not reached some places.

Jesus Christ, there's a student talking lol.

Halfords have a "lady" bicycle (although let's face facts you can ride a gents) £109.

Also last time I looked insuring a car for a student!!.

£2500

When I insured my car at 20, it was under £800 for 3rd party. Can't imagine the industry has moved on hugely in the past ten years.

And sure, I used to have a 'basic' £150 bike model from Halfords. The problem with riding it every day (commuting) is that it breaks. And then you don't have a bike. Or rather you do have a bike, but you have to put it in a car to take it somewhere to get it fixed.

On top of that, it was fine for me to commute a decent distance for work because I worked in a sports centre. I had a locker with my uniform and a towel in, and I'd have a shower before I started work. If someone is a shop assistant or works in an office, do you think it's helpful for them to be sweaty and manky all day?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I was unemployed and 21 years old I lived with my Mum. I paid them £125 a month and I also cooked almost every meal we ate as payment for my board.

My car and my life was my problem - not theirs."

I paid my mum £30 a week during the uni breaks in the early 90's as she simply couldn't afford to support me and my brother so I've now got quite strong views as to young people supporting themselves.

However, it's what YOU feel is fair and your own views as to whether as a young adult she should be supporting herself. And of course whether she starts taking the piss by going out spending money left right and centre.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why does a student need a car?

One luxury right there.

Sometimes it's required. Clearly you have never lived in the countryside.

Clearly? Emm, wrong.

I have lived in the countryside as a student. you need to work on your deduction skills.

she needs her car as we live very rural and its a forty to fifty minute walk to the bus stop and she starts work so early that there is actually no buses running at that time x

you have heard of that two wheel thing yes? you know, the one you buy and then costs sweet FA to run.

dunno, maybe its still not reached some places.

Jesus Christ, there's a student talking lol.

Halfords have a "lady" bicycle (although let's face facts you can ride a gents) £109.

Also last time I looked insuring a car for a student!!.

£2500

When I insured my car at 20, it was under £800 for 3rd party. Can't imagine the industry has moved on hugely in the past ten years.

It has moved on massively in the last ten years. I promise you.

A two hundred quid bike is cheaper to fix than a car, and they don't breakdown that often anyway, not like a cheap car does.(where do you put the car when that breaks down?).

And you don't have to be sweaty and manky from a half hour bike ride. Set off earlier and ride slower.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And you can easily fix a bike yourself, for free. A garage costs a lot more to fix a bust CV joint or replace a full exhaust.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And you can easily fix a bike yourself, for free. A garage costs a lot more to fix a bust CV joint or replace a full exhaust."

But how do they get all their possessions back to university when term starts again?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And you can easily fix a bike yourself, for free. A garage costs a lot more to fix a bust CV joint or replace a full exhaust."

But why is that your problem ?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And you can easily fix a bike yourself, for free. A garage costs a lot more to fix a bust CV joint or replace a full exhaust.

But why is that your problem ?"

Exactly. If someone goes out and gets a job and can then afford to run a car, it's really none of anybody elses business. You don't *have* to live on the poverty line just because you're a student.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why does a student need a car?

One luxury right there.

Sometimes it's required. Clearly you have never lived in the countryside.

Clearly? Emm, wrong.

I have lived in the countryside as a student. you need to work on your deduction skills.

she needs her car as we live very rural and its a forty to fifty minute walk to the bus stop and she starts work so early that there is actually no buses running at that time x

you have heard of that two wheel thing yes? you know, the one you buy and then costs sweet FA to run.

dunno, maybe its still not reached some places.

Jesus Christ, there's a student talking lol.

Halfords have a "lady" bicycle (although let's face facts you can ride a gents) £109.

Also last time I looked insuring a car for a student!!.

£2500

When I insured my car at 20, it was under £800 for 3rd party. Can't imagine the industry has moved on hugely in the past ten years.

It has moved on massively in the last ten years. I promise you.

A two hundred quid bike is cheaper to fix than a car, and they don't breakdown that often anyway, not like a cheap car does.(where do you put the car when that breaks down?).

And you don't have to be sweaty and manky from a half hour bike ride. Set off earlier and ride slower."

People have different views on supporting young adult offspring, who's to say what's wrong and what's right?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Does it really have anything to do with different views on raising children,

The 'why should she have a car' debate appears to be purely 'ban what I don't do' related

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I live in Bristol, my wife's a lecturer at Bristol uni,I can count on one hand the amount of students who have a car!.

Mainly because there rarely sober enough to drive one

There's absolutely loads of ways to get round Bristol, most of them think nothing of walking 3 miles to the nightclub and 3 miles home!.

Oh to be 20 again

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And you can easily fix a bike yourself, for free. A garage costs a lot more to fix a bust CV joint or replace a full exhaust.

But how do they get all their possessions back to university when term starts again?"

Lift, taxi, car hire.

I'm not having a dig, but the problems you put forward are hardly insurmountable. I wouldn't run a car unless I really had to.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And you can easily fix a bike yourself, for free. A garage costs a lot more to fix a bust CV joint or replace a full exhaust.

But why is that your problem ?"

It's not. I'm just offering helpful advice. If you can afford to run a car, then go for it. Very few students can though.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Where is the helpful bit in relation to the OP subject

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *erbyDalesCplCouple over a year ago

Derbyshire

But why is that your problem ?

Exactly. If someone goes out and gets a job and can then afford to run a car, it's really none of anybody elses business. You don't *have* to live on the poverty line just because you're a student."

Surely by definition, having established what is 'fair', how anyone chooses to spend their remaining dosh is their business, whether the money is from a job, or their student loan.

As a parent it is hard watching your children spend their money on tat, until you remember the tat you bought at their age!

But SB is right, that 3 mile stagger up Park St. and Blackboy Hill is easier when one has had a few sherbets

Mr ddc

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *innamon!Woman over a year ago

no matter

My theory was 1/3 of their wages for housekeeping .I think if you have them at home with food and washing etc that is fair.

If they regularly have friends round to stay over and eat more would be required.

I work with someone who has two kids at home one pregnant and one boy with g/f and baby. She is getting no where near what she should be and it leads to resentment.

In your case I recon £50 week is perfect and perhaps put away a tenner or so incase they get an emergency with the car..

I paid for my daughters driving lessons with her holiday house keeping money . worked well

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *erbyDalesCplCouple over a year ago

Derbyshire

It's not. I'm just offering helpful advice. If you can afford to run a car, then go for it. Very few students can though."

The trick is to teach them how to cut their cloth accordingly. My car was older than me, cost £150, fully comp through classic car owners club: £60, and fixed by me using parts from the scrappies in St. Georges.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's not. I'm just offering helpful advice. If you can afford to run a car, then go for it. Very few students can though."

I *more* than pay for my car by *not* living in Oxford where I go to uni.

The rent difference is... well... it's staggering if you just move half an hour away.

Appreciate not all students would want to do that, but not all students are the same.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And you can easily fix a bike yourself, for free. A garage costs a lot more to fix a bust CV joint or replace a full exhaust.

But why is that your problem ?

It's not. I'm just offering helpful advice. If you can afford to run a car, then go for it. Very few students can though."

However she obviously can and has need for it. It is so wrong to assume.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But why is that your problem ?

Exactly. If someone goes out and gets a job and can then afford to run a car, it's really none of anybody elses business. You don't *have* to live on the poverty line just because you're a student.

Surely by definition, having established what is 'fair', how anyone chooses to spend their remaining dosh is their business, whether the money is from a job, or their student loan.

As a parent it is hard watching your children spend their money on tat, until you remember the tat you bought at their age!

But SB is right, that 3 mile stagger up Park St. and Blackboy Hill is easier when one has had a few sherbets

Mr ddc"
.

I steer clear of blackboy hill and head for whiteladies rd instead.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ensualtouch15Man over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

None xx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *anchestercubMan over a year ago

manchester & NI

£0 is fair to me.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *exxifun5 OP Couple over a year ago

NORWICH

well I have been busy all day and haven't hada chance to check back.

can I just say I dont have an issue with my daughter having a car . its is twenty mile to work and I wouldnt expect her to cycle that and def not on the dual carriageway !!!!!, she works hard for money and is sensible with it (,even if a little tight lol ) she only insures and drives her car wen she is home and she needs it for work. the debate was really about what was fairpto charge her board . we have come to agreement that 100 a month enough to help us with food bills but still enough for her to save and enjoy her holiday. but a nice thank you to wasp hunter for defending the student .... they are not all lazy d*unken sponging students lol xxx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And you can easily fix a bike yourself, for free. A garage costs a lot more to fix a bust CV joint or replace a full exhaust.

But why is that your problem ?

It's not. I'm just offering helpful advice. If you can afford to run a car, then go for it. Very few students can though.

However she obviously can and has need for it. It is so wrong to assume. "

I haven't assumed anything. I merely pointed out the viability of an alternative. Don't assume I assumed. It's very presumptious!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"well I have been busy all day and haven't hada chance to check back.

£100 a month is probably about right. One more person in a family house doesn't really effect utility bills to a great extent, she probably will eat £25 a week, but lets not forget, shes young and may well be out of the house and not actually eating evening meals. (I would be in the pub at her age). So your not out of pocket, and she can say she is paying her way. I take it she is okay with the principle?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic