FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Have I been played?

Have I been played?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I stated talking to a guy on fab. Currently lives in Germany but moving back to near where I live in July. We've been skyping often and talking everyday.

There has been mentions of a relationship. He said he'd never thought about it but definitely would with me. I said I felt the same. He would say the most amazing things to me. We agreed not to meet anybody until we met each other when he comes back in July.

He came to Edinburgh for the weekend and I drove to see him last night. We had the most amazing night together. He told me he liked me and still thought I was beautiful. He said I was his bird just for him and no one else.

Today I log on to fab and find he has put up a meet request. It absolutely killed me. I mentioned it to him and said it wasn't a sex meet. I just said I wasn't his keeper and if he wants to shag people he can. He said he didn't want. I asked if he meant what he said last night and he said I think so...

He said he was going to sleep because he was up really early this morning and I told him I was really upset. He just said it wasn't a question and was going to sleep.

Now Im so confused. I have no idea if I've been crazy, or if I've just been took for a mug. Opinions would be appreciated.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Sounds like he wanted the thrill of the chase, he bagged the prize and now is backing off....don't contact him let him do the chasing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Been there. Done that. Move on girlfriend. Next you'll see a verification from him on someone else's profile and that really hurts x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sounds like he wanted the thrill of the chase, he bagged the prize and now is backing off....don't contact him let him do the chasing "

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

Probably.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

I think you have been played

I wouldn't contact him again and just carry on as you did before him

I think cyber relationships and promises mean bugger all for the majority of people

Hope you feel better about it all soon

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My advice, FWIW, would be to not take up Poker.

Or Pontoon.

Solitaire even.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have never known anyone lie to get a shag.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Get rid now before you get too emotionally involved.Just don't go there girlfriend.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And be fair OP, do you not play people yourself? Ever?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I have never known anyone lie to get a shag."

Can't say I have either

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

wish you had stopped in at mine for a shag...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

It sounds like you two may have something in common... but its early days and him pressurising you or you pressurising him isn't going to help in the slightest. If you can appreciate that it may take time for him to really decide on whether you are worth having a relationship with, give him that space, and take your own time, now you've met him, to come to your own decision about that... that's what I'd recommend. After all, you can get on like a house on fire via skype... but at the end of the day its allllllll about chemistry and you can gauge that on the web

Just my opinion.. hope it helps (Mr)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Been there. Done that. Move on girlfriend. Next you'll see a verification from him on someone else's profile and that really hurts x"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some do just like the thrill of the chase. Like said above, don't contact him or be too available. Wait and see what happens. Go and do something nice for yourself.

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By *othingButCocoChanelWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

I think so

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Been here, worn the tshirt and learnt a few lessons

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"I have never known anyone lie to get a shag."

I just thought you had to buy Haribos and lurk behind bushes....

I hope it all comes out in the wash, OP. If he has been playing you, write it down to experience and move on. Keep your chin up.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just block him.... Trust me it's better to hurt a little now. Trust is like an egg , once it's broken it can never be the same. Good luck and don't worry about anything.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And be fair OP, do you not play people yourself? Ever?

Do you assume that everyone does? I've never strung anyone along.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yup, Mrs has been lied to, not to that extent but a guy claimed a hotel had no rooms available at the hotel they planned to meet at, turns out he wanted to meet another couple instead, Mrs rang said hotel and they had plenty of rooms available, verification from the guy appeared on the couples profile the following day, don't get why they lie, protecting your feelings?, although this guy must have taken the Mrs for an idiot, she like most if not all women aren't THAT stupid

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By *gNeMan over a year ago

Harrogate

Were you the one hinting at relationship in the first place? If so, then yeah he played you for a shag.

If casual sex was always on the cards anyway; then he probs just met you and decided that he didn't actually like you that much in person. Still saying the right things so as not to hurt your feelings though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have never known anyone lie to get a shag.

Can't say I have either

Me neither. Surely this isn't a thing is it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Op I think you probably have unfortunately been played. Especially if the person concerned is in the military. I've learnt the lesson the hard way. The colder I am the harder they chase

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Big hugs babe , it hurts to get played

If I was you I would block him otherwise you will be forever checking his profile to see if he has met someone else

He can always contact you through Skype if he's serious , but it does sound like his thrill was in the chase ... Sorry

Anita x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't you just hate game playing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't you just hate game playing

Two player gaming is one thing,

Multi-Player is a whole new level.

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By *ire_bladeMan over a year ago

Manchester

I got to say it's not look good sweet but hey his loss

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By *allipygousMan over a year ago

Leicester

Were you played? Possibly.

Equally, the live you may not, for him, have lived up to the cyber you and he is trying to spare your feelings.

Either way, you met on a site for people who want to have sex with strangers so anything said leading up to the exchange of bodily fluids should be taken with an extremely large dose of salt.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Player!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you need any editorial help with writing a veri for him, let us know, won't ya?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I got to say it's not look good sweet but hey his loss"

I really don't get this , why is it his loss ? He decided for whatever reason to do what he has done so it can't be his loss.

Or is it just a white knight saying ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Same thing kinda happened to me except we didn't get to meet he kept ignoring me the day the meets were planned. I think some people just enjoy the attention and he got all he needed from u unfortunately ??.

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

"I got to say it's not look good sweet but hey his loss

I really don't get this , why is it his loss ? He decided for whatever reason to do what he has done so it can't be his loss.

Or is it just a white knight saying ? "

he had fun and possibly moved on

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By *icky999Man over a year ago

warrington

aww you have dude

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think so many guys on here pretend to be something they're not to get what they want. I had a bit of a shock today too. Shame the bad eggs ruin for the good guys. X

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

"I got to say it's not look good sweet but hey his loss

I really don't get this , why is it his loss ? He decided for whatever reason to do what he has done so it can't be his loss.

Or is it just a white knight saying ? "

It's something you say to try and make someone feel better about themselves

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He's a player he's not interested really sorry to say it's a swingers site it goes with the territory

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I got to say it's not look good sweet but hey his loss

I really don't get this , why is it his loss ? He decided for whatever reason to do what he has done so it can't be his loss.

Or is it just a white knight saying ?

It's something you say to try and make someone feel better about themselves"

Normally said to females on here who have fallen foul of something by white knights trying to get their legs over , like that trying to make them feel better ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Baby girl Im going thro it now n caught him out big time ya it hurts but be strong and try to remember its just sex and to be honest i think some men hurt as much as us women xxxxxxx

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By *orseydaveMan over a year ago

Norwich NR5

Misscheekychops gave you the best advice. Take notice

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Player. It hurts and there really is no need for it. Put your guards back up, wipe away those tears- he doesn't deserve them, head up xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I got to say it's not look good sweet but hey his loss

I really don't get this , why is it his loss ? He decided for whatever reason to do what he has done so it can't be his loss.

Or is it just a white knight saying ? "
it's not just the "white" knights who are the ones to watch...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Player. It hurts and there really is no need for it. Put your guards back up, wipe away those tears- he doesn't deserve them, head up xxx

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By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

OP ... you are on a swingers site. You are either ready for NSA sex, or you are looking for a relationship. Have you been played or have you let yourself be played? Are you playing hard to get in the hope that someone will fall head over heels on a swingers site?

Play the field, enjoy the meets for what they are, enjoy the freedom, settle down when you want, get off the site when you want, look for a relationship via the correct medium, find a fb when you find an fb or find several fb's!

You are asking us to look into your world through a single lens - your lens, and come to the same outcome as you that you have been played. The guy could have met you, realised you were not for him in personality, looks or other and thought - well 'nice tits I'm hardly gonna give this up' and let you down as best he could.

There is no play, and for people to advise - let him do the chasing - again, this is a swingers site, not Bee-harmony. It is giving the wrong nettle to grasp.

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

If he comes on and posts his perspective on the situation, people will be able to decide what he is, what he did right or wrong.

With one side, it is difficult

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By *gNeMan over a year ago

Harrogate

"I got to say it's not look good sweet but hey his loss

I really don't get this , why is it his loss ? He decided for whatever reason to do what he has done so it can't be his loss.

Or is it just a white knight saying ?

It's something you say to try and make someone feel better about themselves

Normally said to females on here who have fallen foul of something by white knights trying to get their legs over , like that trying to make them feel better ? "

Yep. Makes me feel a bit sick reading some of them.

Must be nice to live in a world where everyone is so nice and genuine though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

follow your own feelings on it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If he comes on and posts his perspective on the situation, people will be able to decide what he is, what he did right or wrong.

With one side, it is difficult"

To quote the proverbials ;

There are at least three sides to every story.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"I have never known anyone lie to get a shag.

Can't say I have either

What?!! People could lie to get a shag?!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You've been taken for a mug unfortunately, this is why I wouldn't trust what anyone says unless they prove it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Op inbox me if you need a chat hun xxx

Sometimes men an women can say anything to get what they want and both men and women get hurt its not unique to either sex it happens just buckle up baby no one can help having emotions xxxxx

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

"I got to say it's not look good sweet but hey his loss

I really don't get this , why is it his loss ? He decided for whatever reason to do what he has done so it can't be his loss.

Or is it just a white knight saying ?

It's something you say to try and make someone feel better about themselves

Normally said to females on here who have fallen foul of something by white knights trying to get their legs over , like that trying to make them feel better ? "

I don't think everyone who tries to be nice has an ulterior motive. I'm bi, so if I say that to a woman does that mean I want in her knickers?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Just my opinion.. hope it helps (Mr)"

sorry... that should've read "at the end of the day its allllllll about chemistry and you can't gauge that on the web"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Never look for love on a swingers site.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"I got to say it's not look good sweet but hey his loss

I really don't get this , why is it his loss ? He decided for whatever reason to do what he has done so it can't be his loss.

Or is it just a white knight saying ? "

I find the "their loss" response baffling. How not wanting someone is a loss is beyond me.

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

"I got to say it's not look good sweet but hey his loss

I really don't get this , why is it his loss ? He decided for whatever reason to do what he has done so it can't be his loss.

Or is it just a white knight saying ?

It's something you say to try and make someone feel better about themselves

Normally said to females on here who have fallen foul of something by white knights trying to get their legs over , like that trying to make them feel better ?

Yep. Makes me feel a bit sick reading some of them.

Must be nice to live in a world where everyone is so nice and genuine though. "

Not everyone is, but I'm not always automatically cynical of everyone either

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Gotta say, a meet request the day after a shag is impressive.

OP been in your situation so many times. Take a break, lick your wounds, then move on. If he contacts you, great. If not, you know he got what he wanted.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Were you the one hinting at relationship in the first place? If so, then yeah he played you for a shag.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Never look for love on a swingers site."

I don't believe she was looking for love she was given lies in the guise of love

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I stated talking to a guy on fab. Currently lives in Germany but moving back to near where I live in July. We've been skyping often and talking everyday.

He said he was going to sleep because he was up really early this morning and I told him I was really upset. He just said it wasn't a question and was going to sleep.

Now Im so confused. I have no idea if I've been crazy, or if I've just been took for a mug. Opinions would be appreciated. "

My take on your post. ....... ( hope it clears things up a little )

You say .. 'there had been talk of a relationship. He said HE'D NEVER THOUGHT about it .....

You say.... We agreed not to meet anyone else UNTIL we met... well you have met.

You say.. He said i WAS HIS BIRD AND FOR NO ONE ELSE.... He dosesn't say he's your bloke.

You say .. I'm really upset. He says .. Im going to sleep.

The confusion lies in that some people hear things that just aren't said and others aren't able to be straight forward.

I can't see anywhere where you and he had a clear conversation about a closed relationship.

If I were you i'd steer well clear. I don't think anyone's done anything wrong though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Gotta say, a meet request the day after a shag is impressive.

OP been in your situation so many times. Take a break, lick your wounds, then move on. If he contacts you, great. If not, you know he got what he wanted."

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Never look for love on a swingers site.

I don't believe she was looking for love she was given lies in the guise of love"

See.. from her opening post I don't see any lies.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Never look for love on a swingers site.

I don't believe she was looking for love she was given lies in the guise of love

See.. from her opening post I don't see any lies. "

Rose tinted bi-focals Granny?

"We won't meet until July" vs "We met last night."

Someone's fibbing.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"I think so many guys on here pretend to be something they're not to get what they want. I had a bit of a shock today too. Shame the bad eggs ruin for the good guys. X"

No, they don't!

Anyone mistaking this site for heartsandflowers.com needs a reality check. Mens balls are not going to empty themselves so some know what bollocks to spout to get the "innocent" to do it for them, then they move onto the next.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't ever start getting attached to somone before you've even met them.

It's far to easy to fall for a fantasy

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By *gNeMan over a year ago

Harrogate

Not everyone is, but I'm not always automatically cynical of everyone either

Have a look on a similar thread by a bloke. Loads of other fellas on their saying 'chin up mate, her loss'? No? Well then surely there is only one conclusion to be drawn.. Nothing cynical about that..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Look on the bright side :

At least these same threads don't come around as often as the Kiss, Fuck, Pass, Avoid type threads.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I got to say it's not look good sweet but hey his loss

I really don't get this , why is it his loss ? He decided for whatever reason to do what he has done so it can't be his loss.

Or is it just a white knight saying ?

I find the "their loss" response baffling. How not wanting someone is a loss is beyond me. "

It's just a pleasantry like when somethings bad happened to some and yous a oh I'm so sorry. Why you saying sorry you didn't do it

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I think so many guys on here pretend to be something they're not to get what they want. I had a bit of a shock today too. Shame the bad eggs ruin for the good guys. X

No, they don't!

What a kind word. Innocent ..

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Look on the bright side :

At least these same threads don't come around as often as the Kiss, Fuck, Pass, Avoid type threads.

Do those kind of threads appear on these forums ?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I've learnt my lesson recently regarding this site, it's not a dating site and it shouldn't be treated as one. Not saying you can't find it on here but I also think you may of scared him on and he thought fuck this I'm off...no one likes full on people espically after the first meet. Some like a challenge I've learnt a few things after a situation I was in and thought fuck this for a game of soldiers and walked away. I think you need to do the same if he is interested he will come to you, if he isn't then put it down to experience.

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 13/06/15 20:06:05]

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

Look on the bright side :

At least these same threads don't come around as often as the Kiss, Fuck, Pass, Avoid type threads.

There will be, so many are looking for love.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Never look for love on a swingers site.

I don't believe she was looking for love she was given lies in the guise of love

See.. from her opening post I don't see any lies.

Rose tinted bi-focals Granny?

"We won't meet until July" vs "We met last night."

Someone's fibbing."

I don't think anyone is fibbing I just think things have been said maybe misunderstood maybe said to invoke misunderstanding either way OP is left confused n hurt

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

Not everyone is, but I'm not always automatically cynical of everyone either

Because perhaps women may need to hear it more than men? I don't know, but I won't spend my time being suspicious of everyone. If you want to that's up to you.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Never look for love on a swingers site.

I don't believe she was looking for love she was given lies in the guise of love

See.. from her opening post I don't see any lies.

Rose tinted bi-focals Granny?

"We won't meet until July" vs "We met last night."

Someone's fibbing."

No bifocals and no fogged brain.

I don't see where HE lied from what info we have.

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By *gNeMan over a year ago

Harrogate

Because perhaps women may need to hear it more than men? I don't know, but I won't spend my time being suspicious of everyone. If you want to that's up to you."

It's pretty basic human interaction. I'm not suspicious at all, but like to see the motive behind what people say and do. Sometimes it is blatantly obvious, yet some people can't see for looking.

As you say each to their own. I'm sure your trusting nature has paid off for the most part. I'm also sure it has occasionally left you open to some unfortunate situations as well.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Never look for love on a swingers site.

I don't believe she was looking for love she was given lies in the guise of love

See.. from her opening post I don't see any lies.

Rose tinted bi-focals Granny?

"We won't meet until July" vs "We met last night."

Someone's fibbing.

No bifocals and no fogged brain.

I don't see where HE lied from what info we have. "

My mistake,

. Thought you'd said "Any lies" i didn't realise we were only looking for HIS lies.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Never look for love on a swingers site.

I don't believe she was looking for love she was given lies in the guise of love

See.. from her opening post I don't see any lies.

Rose tinted bi-focals Granny?

"We won't meet until July" vs "We met last night."

Someone's fibbing.

No bifocals and no fogged brain.

I don't see where HE lied from what info we have.

My mistake,

. Thought you'd said "Any lies" i didn't realise we were only looking for HIS lies.

I had noted your 'someone's ' lying but didn't want to cast aspersions. I leave that to the cold hearted amongst us.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Never look for love on a swingers site.

I don't believe she was looking for love she was given lies in the guise of love

See.. from her opening post I don't see any lies.

Rose tinted bi-focals Granny?

"We won't meet until July" vs "We met last night."

Someone's fibbing.

No bifocals and no fogged brain.

I don't see where HE lied from what info we have.

My mistake,

. Thought you'd said "Any lies" i didn't realise we were only looking for HIS lies.

I had noted your 'someone's ' lying but didn't want to cast aspersions. I leave that to the cold hearted amongst us. "

Not me, i'm chilled.

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By *nleashedCrakenMan over a year ago

Widnes

"Were you played? Possibly.

Equally, the live you may not, for him, have lived up to the cyber you and he is trying to spare your feelings.

Either way, you met on a site for people who want to have sex with strangers so anything said leading up to the exchange of bodily fluids should be taken with an extremely large dose of salt."

Wouldn't that sting a little?

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

"It's pretty basic human interaction. I'm not suspicious at all, but like to see the motive behind what people say and do. Sometimes it is blatantly obvious, yet some people can't see for looking.

As you say each to their own. I'm sure your trusting nature has paid off for the most part. I'm also sure it has occasionally left you open to some unfortunate situations as well. "

I didn't say I had a trusting nature, what I did say was that I wasn't automatically suspicious of everyone. I don't go around with blinkers on, which sounds like what you're implying. I'm actually far more suspicious than my man is, lol.

Sometimes people just say "I'm sorry to hear that" without having an ulterior motive. Sometimes they do have a motive. Without knowing the follow-up you won't know which one that is.

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By *nleashedCrakenMan over a year ago

Widnes

"I got to say it's not look good sweet but hey his loss

I really don't get this , why is it his loss ? He decided for whatever reason to do what he has done so it can't be his loss.

Or is it just a white knight saying ? "

It's not white knight. It's just something you have to say to yourself when things don't go the way you want, far better to tell yourself it's more their loss than yours rather than spend your time bemoaning what might have been. Single guys on here have to tell themselves that quite a lot on here you know.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He put up a meet you have your answer . Your one of a number so don't wast your time see things for what thay are not what you wish them to be . He is a player.

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By *nleashedCrakenMan over a year ago

Widnes

"I think so many guys on here pretend to be something they're not to get what they want. I had a bit of a shock today too. Shame the bad eggs ruin for the good guys. X"

Not really sure it's just the guys who pretend to be something their not. If we're honest don't we all to a greater or lesser extent, even if it's just "putting your best foot forward".

To the OP. This really isn't the place to find love or romance. Doesn't mean you can't but if that is what you're looking for there are probably better places to look. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I'm afraid it's true.

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By *nleashedCrakenMan over a year ago

Widnes

"I got to say it's not look good sweet but hey his loss

I really don't get this , why is it his loss ? He decided for whatever reason to do what he has done so it can't be his loss.

Or is it just a white knight saying ?

It's something you say to try and make someone feel better about themselves"

This

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By *nleashedCrakenMan over a year ago

Widnes

"I got to say it's not look good sweet but hey his loss

I really don't get this , why is it his loss ? He decided for whatever reason to do what he has done so it can't be his loss.

Or is it just a white knight saying ?

It's something you say to try and make someone feel better about themselves

Normally said to females on here who have fallen foul of something by white knights trying to get their legs over , like that trying to make them feel better ? "

Unfortunately this to.

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By *nleashedCrakenMan over a year ago

Widnes

"If he comes on and posts his perspective on the situation, people will be able to decide what he is, what he did right or wrong.

With one side, it is difficult"

If he's any bloody sense hw won't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

We weren't supposed to meet until July but he was in Edinburgh for the weekend so I drove to see him. Hardly a lie is it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Anyone else thinking that he couldn't have been a great shag as otherwise there'd not be such a big issue.

After all, you gotta queue for tickets to see the biggest bands.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"We weren't supposed to meet until July but he was in Edinburgh for the weekend so I drove to see him. Hardly a lie is it. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He' s a shit bag...chin up babe

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By *andy6677Man over a year ago

crewe

"We weren't supposed to meet until July but he was in Edinburgh for the weekend so I drove to see him. Hardly a lie is it. "

At the end of the day he disrespected you. Its guys like him why the rest of us guys get marked the same as players when not all of us are. I would move on and let him stew thats all he deserves.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So you've put up a social meet request to piss him off ?

I'd be weary of anybody that refers to you as 'his bird'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"He put up a meet you have your answer . Your one of a number so don't wast your time see things for what thay are not what you wish them to be . He is a player."

This exactly!

I really would take everything with a pinch of salt on here. Smoke, mirrors and bullshit.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So you've put up a social meet request to piss him off ?

I'd be weary of anybody that refers to you as 'his bird'

Well spotted.

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"So you've put up a social meet request to piss him off ?

This just looks like tit for tat and playing stupid mind games to me, however, it will only work if in fact he was bothered in the first place.

And from what you have said previously he obviously doesn't

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We weren't supposed to meet until July but he was in Edinburgh for the weekend so I drove to see him. Hardly a lie is it. "
he got from you what he was looking for . See it for what it is op. You both had fun you wish for more Woman look for more at times we are different to men ..woman wish for feeling s and more not to be one of a number .But it's a swingers site a candy shop lots of offer here if your a player each ones different .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So you've put up a social meet request to piss him off ?

I'd be weary of anybody that refers to you as 'his bird'

Well spotted.

Gold star for me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is why I dont even bother with this cyber relationship stuff.. It leads to nothing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think so many guys on here pretend to be something they're not to get what they want. I had a bit of a shock today too. Shame the bad eggs ruin for the good guys. X

No, they don't!

this. I'd say grow up OP if you're old enough to be on here at least act mature. This teenagey bs is a bit cringey to say the least

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By *reelove1969Couple over a year ago

bristol

I think the vast majority of people on a swingers site are just looking for casual sex ...sorry to hear you have been hurt ..but casual sex with numerous people kind of goes with the territory in my opinion

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Shit happens hun... and it hurts like buggery.

time to pull up those big girl pants and move on.

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think so many guys on here pretend to be something they're not to get what they want. I had a bit of a shock today too. Shame the bad eggs ruin for the good guys. X

No, they don't!

this. I'd say grow up OP if you're old enough to be on here at least act mature. This teenagey bs is a bit cringey to say the least "

6" nail, 10lb hammer.

Or as a student once asked, what are lb's?

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By *riskygazMan over a year ago

birmingham

May sound a bit harsh, but if your looking for a relationship a swingers site is not the place your very likely to find it,

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think the vast majority of people on a swingers site are just looking for casual sex ...sorry to hear you have been hurt ..but casual sex with numerous people kind of goes with the territory in my opinion "

And don't forget dating sites

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sounds like he wanted the thrill of the chase, he bagged the prize and now is backing off....don't contact him let him do the chasing "

+1 .

Sad but true from what OP mentioned. Don't waste any more time for your own good.

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By *ilacWoman over a year ago

Cheshire

So many negative comments.

I don't know if you were smooshed into bed and misled or maybe communication wasn't clear or changes of hearts. Whatever the situation, you're clearly a bit hurt by his actions so my sympathies.

Like others have said, lick your wounds, hold your head high and take it as a learning experience.

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By *rs TootyWoman over a year ago

Ayrshire

It's not a dating site sweet.. Sometimes it can happen.

Some people will say what they can to get what they want.

Online you create an idea of who the person is and real life falls short.

If that's the case then maybe he wasn't playing you..

Maybe it just didn't work in real life..

It's going to be strange for you but I eod accept that it's not going to be what you hoped and move on..

Hugs sweet x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you need any editorial help with writing a veri for him, let us know, won't ya? "

Lol

Theres being brutal and to the point. There's being all aw sorry love, hope your ok. Then there's just being a dick.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think so many guys on here pretend to be something they're not to get what they want. I had a bit of a shock today too. Shame the bad eggs ruin for the good guys. X

No, they don't!

this. I'd say grow up OP if you're old enough to be on here at least act mature. This teenagey bs is a bit cringey to say the least

6" nail, 10lb hammer.

Or as a student once asked, what are lb's? "

should I have added a few 'Huns' and 'sweets' to soften it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It would be nice to see a bit of understanding hey stop being so hard on her

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't run after him . Even if your wishing to. Let things work out and you will see.

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

"It would be nice to see a bit of understanding hey stop being so hard on her "

There is lots.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think so many guys on here pretend to be something they're not to get what they want. I had a bit of a shock today too. Shame the bad eggs ruin for the good guys. X

No, they don't!

this. I'd say grow up OP if you're old enough to be on here at least act mature. This teenagey bs is a bit cringey to say the least

6" nail, 10lb hammer.

Or as a student once asked, what are lb's?

should I have added a few 'Huns' and 'sweets' to soften it? "

"sweets", Haribo's , milk bottles, now yer talking.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"If he comes on and posts his perspective on the situation, people will be able to decide what he is, what he did right or wrong.

With one side, it is difficult"

Players only love you when they're playing...

OP, take some time. Don't over-think it. He may well have been genuinely interested in a relationship with you, in theory, but it didn't feel that way in the flesh.

You had a great time with each other in the virtual world. You had good times on Skype. You even had a good time when you met. That's a lot of good times. So what if it doesn't work out? Live for now not some potential future you cannot control.

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By *reelove1969Couple over a year ago

bristol

"It would be nice to see a bit of understanding hey stop being so hard on her "

from what I've read no one is being hard ..she asked a question and people are answering it

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"It would be nice to see a bit of understanding hey stop being so hard on her "

But we all know what the site is about do we not? Yes I suppose it is quite easy to fall for someone, but at times people do need a reality check and realise some people do lie just for their own benefit, so yes lick your wounds, toughen up and think learn from experience, but I don't mean any harm, though I am nearly 20 years older so therefore more worldly wise and wouldn't have been suckered in, in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yup, Mrs has been lied to, not to that extent but a guy claimed a hotel had no rooms available at the hotel they planned to meet at, turns out he wanted to meet another couple instead, Mrs rang said hotel and they had plenty of rooms available, verification from the guy appeared on the couples profile the following day, don't get why they lie, protecting your feelings?, although this guy must have taken the Mrs for an idiot, she like most if not all women aren't THAT stupid

I've had the same, you live and learn

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By *londie Miss NaughtyWoman over a year ago

London and Kent

Did his name being with a G? Sounds exactly the same as what happened to me back in April. He Had just come home home from Germany as he works there spent the weekend with him he told me he wanted a relationship blah blah never heard from him again, very good looking very charming and a player! I came on tonight to start my own chat but saw your story take care x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So many negative comments.

I don't know if you were smooshed into bed and misled or maybe communication wasn't clear or changes of hearts. Whatever the situation, you're clearly a bit hurt by his actions so my sympathies.

Like others have said, lick your wounds, hold your head high and take it as a learning experience.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is a game - he played it well. Learn your lesson and move on. It's not as if males are rare on here.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

If you say you are looking for dates and more on a swinging site then people may well tell you what you want to hear to get what they want

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People can be who ever on a site like this and because you don't know them get away with lies. I bet there's so much you don't know ...see things for what they are op ..don't let it all get you down .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This is a game - he played it well. Learn your lesson and move on. It's not as if males are rare on here."

This, and also mind yourself! Xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't mix love and sex, dating and fabbing, it doesn't work! I've been there myself hun and it's just a headf***.

Play by the rules and protect your heart.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"People can be who ever on a site like this and because you don't know them get away with lies. I bet there's so much you don't know ...see things for what they are op ..don't let it all get you down ."

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Our hearts are precious protect it....we have all fallen for bullshit in our time but sometimes the Internet meeting and real life meetings can have s different outcome than the one we were expecting.

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By *reelove1969Couple over a year ago

bristol

When did Durham move close to Edinburgh ...I thought it was over a 300 mile round trip ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That rush of lust and it knocks people for six as don't feel it everyday so in there heads feel it's the start of something special . But in the light of day it was lust that day that time and maybe nothing more and maybe never again . It's nice to feel but love takes time and very very rear.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/06/15 21:48:14]

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"I think so many guys on here pretend to be something they're not to get what they want. I had a bit of a shock today too. Shame the bad eggs ruin for the good guys. X

No, they don't!

What a kind word. Innocent .. "

I know Granny, I'm mellowing with age.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I think so many guys on here pretend to be something they're not to get what they want. I had a bit of a shock today too. Shame the bad eggs ruin for the good guys. X

No, they don't!

What a kind word. Innocent ..

I know Granny, I'm mellowing with age."

You're one of the anomalies that gives people hope.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I stated talking to a guy on fab. Currently lives in Germany but moving back to near where I live in July. We've been skyping often and talking everyday.

He said he was going to sleep because he was up really early this morning and I told him I was really upset. He just said it wasn't a question and was going to sleep.

Now Im so confused. I have no idea if I've been crazy, or if I've just been took for a mug. Opinions would be appreciated.

My take on your post. ....... ( hope it clears things up a little )

You say .. 'there had been talk of a relationship. He said HE'D NEVER THOUGHT about it .....

You say.... We agreed not to meet anyone else UNTIL we met... well you have met.

You say.. He said i WAS HIS BIRD AND FOR NO ONE ELSE.... He dosesn't say he's your bloke.

You say .. I'm really upset. He says .. Im going to sleep.

The confusion lies in that some people hear things that just aren't said and others aren't able to be straight forward.

I can't see anywhere where you and he had a clear conversation about a closed relationship.

If I were you i'd steer well clear. I don't think anyone's done anything wrong though. "

just skim read most of this thread but feel this is the post of the night!

Really sorry you feel hurt OP, and it's clear you took a real shine to this guy. But he's on a casual sex site (or swingers site - as some people like to make a distinction!) and is looking for casual sex. The timing of his meet request (the very next day!) even if it was a "social meet" only and his response when you said your were upset says all you need to know really!

Move on, chalk it down to experience and move on! Good luck OP, you may have taken a fall, but get back on the horse straight away and don't let it get you down!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In a nutshell , he hasn't done anything wrong and the op is on the wrong site .

Why on earth does anyone come onto a swinging site to look for the love of their life ?

Players seek the vulnerable , it's part of the game for them .

The op took the bait , hook line and sinker and if the truth be known the original question didn't need to be asked did it ?

Sorry to be so blunt and harsh , but you can't disguise the obvious , no matter how you dress it up .

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"I think so many guys on here pretend to be something they're not to get what they want. I had a bit of a shock today too. Shame the bad eggs ruin for the good guys. X

No, they don't!

What a kind word. Innocent ..

I know Granny, I'm mellowing with age.

You're one of the anomalies that gives people hope.

Still don't know how I ended up with a partner from here when neither of us weren't interested in anything but nsa!

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I think so many guys on here pretend to be something they're not to get what they want. I had a bit of a shock today too. Shame the bad eggs ruin for the good guys. X

No, they don't!

What a kind word. Innocent ..

I know Granny, I'm mellowing with age.

You're one of the anomalies that gives people hope.

Still don't know how I ended up with a partner from here when neither of us weren't interested in anything but nsa!

Chemistry and being the right people for each other at a point in your lives when you both felt able to take the risk. Plus, I suspect, you didn't declare undying love for each other before you'd even met, you didn't spend every waking moment fantasising about having a relationship with each other before you met, you didn't call each other every day sharing the minutiae of your day etc.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Did his name being with a G? Sounds exactly the same as what happened to me back in April. He Had just come home home from Germany as he works there spent the weekend with him he told me he wanted a relationship blah blah never heard from him again, very good looking very charming and a player! I came on tonight to start my own chat but saw your story take care x "

Op now I think you have your answer...

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple over a year ago

in Lancashire

"I think so many guys on here pretend to be something they're not to get what they want. I had a bit of a shock today too. Shame the bad eggs ruin for the good guys. X

No, they don't!

this..

and its probably not exclusive to just one gender either..

except for the bollocks bit of course..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP go with your gut instinct. I find that it's usually always right

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think so many guys on here pretend to be something they're not to get what they want. I had a bit of a shock today too. Shame the bad eggs ruin for the good guys. X

No, they don't!

this. I'd say grow up OP if you're old enough to be on here at least act mature. This teenagey bs is a bit cringey to say the least "

Don't be so bloody harsh!

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS over a year ago

London

"If you say you are looking for dates and more on a swinging site then people may well tell you what you want to hear to get what they want "

It does sound too good to be true.

Chin up, chest and bums out, smile (as in your pic) and catwalk elegantly away...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Yeah it did :/ feel like such an idiot now for believing him

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"When did Durham move close to Edinburgh ...I thought it was over a 300 mile round trip ?"

Hes moving near Durham in July. He was in Edinburgh for the weekend.

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By *andy6677Man over a year ago

crewe

"When did Durham move close to Edinburgh ...I thought it was over a 300 mile round trip ?

Hes moving near Durham in July. He was in Edinburgh for the weekend. "

Dont let guys like him put you off guys for life there are decent ones out there xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Probably just another dreamer that guy op lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've learnt my lesson recently regarding this site, it's not a dating site and it shouldn't be treated as one. Not saying you can't find it on here but I also think you may of scared him on and he thought fuck this I'm off...no one likes full on people espically after the first meet. Some like a challenge I've learnt a few things after a situation I was in and thought fuck this for a game of soldiers and walked away. I think you need to do the same if he is interested he will come to you, if he isn't then put it down to experience. "

Wise words.^^

Take everything people off here say to you with a huge pinch of salt and you'll be okay.

A case of live & learn x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You'd think women would learn a lesson from this thread but watch I bet you in a few weeks another thread like this would come up again haha..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I knew that someone like him wouldn't be interested in me. I didn't start on this site looking for a relationship. It was him that made me want one in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd fuck you...then make breakfast

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I knew that someone like him wouldn't be interested in me. I didn't start on this site looking for a relationship. It was him that made me want one in the first place. "

Awww hun, chin up x

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By *andom2chatMan over a year ago

A Galaxy Far, Far Away & Spain

[Removed by poster at 14/06/15 01:07:15]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thank you for the people who have been kind and helped.

To the others who've told me to grow up and whatever else. I hope none of you ever get hurt and made to feel absolutely worthless by someone's lies. Didn't realise feelings made someone immature.

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By *londie Miss NaughtyWoman over a year ago

London and Kent

Yeah it did :/ feel like such an idiot now for believing him "

I just tried to send you a message on yr profile but your filter settings don't allow just wanted to chat privately x

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By *andom2chatMan over a year ago

A Galaxy Far, Far Away & Spain

"I knew that someone like him wouldn't be interested in me. I didn't start on this site looking for a relationship. It was him that made me want one in the first place. "

You've answered your own question. Sorry you've been hurt, but you've not trusted your own instincts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thank you for the people who have been kind and helped.

To the others who've told me to grow up and whatever else. I hope none of you ever get hurt and made to feel absolutely worthless by someone's lies. Didn't realise feelings made someone immature. "

A few of them have probably had the experience. Could explain their posts

Crack on with having fun. Don't make the same mistake again.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Yeah it did :/ feel like such an idiot now for believing him

I just tried to send you a message on yr profile but your filter settings don't allow just wanted to chat privately x "

Ive messaged you x

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By *igerclawsCouple over a year ago

cork

Totally agree to come on a site like this and expect a relationship even a long term relationship is VIRTUALLY!! Impossible we think from your post when you asked did he mean what he said his answer was I think so should tell you everything... Don't waist your time girly have fun here for as long as you are here when your finished then look for the man of your dreams who will respect you and adore you for who YOU are

we wish you luck in what you do and decide xx

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By *londie Miss NaughtyWoman over a year ago

London and Kent

"Thank you for the people who have been kind and helped.

To the others who've told me to grow up and whatever else. I hope none of you ever get hurt and made to feel absolutely worthless by someone's lies. Didn't realise feelings made someone immature. "

You'll find that there are some strange people in life that like to gloat over other people's mistakes etc and be unkind, just ignore those and embrace the kind comments just use this site to your advantage don't let others take advantage of you. You be in control of what you allow to happen. X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

glad your moving on be lucky flower

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I stated talking to a guy on fab. Currently lives in Germany but moving back to near where I live in July. We've been skyping often and talking everyday.

He said he was going to sleep because he was up really early this morning and I told him I was really upset. He just said it wasn't a question and was going to sleep.

Now Im so confused. I have no idea if I've been crazy, or if I've just been took for a mug. Opinions would be appreciated. "

I have had the same treatment as you. I dont want to say too much about my situation and what happened but there were conditions regarding the relationship we could have if I did certain things. It is now over. Hope you are ok now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP, - you're still very young & I doubt if there's anyone on this thread who hasn't been stung in a similar way - or far, far worse.

The only thing you can do is just learn from it & move on but don't paint everyone with the same brush in the future, that can be counterproductive, - just be a little wiser next time.

Take care & keep smiling!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I don't think you can commit to something just from a cyber relationship - though you met in Edinburgh too.

Look after your spirits now and back off.

Maybe something will come of it when - if - he moves closer to you. A social meet could have been any gender - but as he chose a woman, he may be a player.

He may read the forums, so keep your cards close to you. Put the ball in his court and get busy making your life fun again.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I stated talking to a guy on fab. Currently lives in Germany but moving back to near where I live in July. We've been skyping often and talking everyday.

He said he was going to sleep because he was up really early this morning and I told him I was really upset. He just said it wasn't a question and was going to sleep.

Now Im so confused. I have no idea if I've been crazy, or if I've just been took for a mug. Opinions would be appreciated. "

Possibly Op and at some stage we probably all have been played either on or off Fab. I'm sorry you got hurt and as others have said chin up and wipe away those tears. While a dose of cynicism can be a good thing don't let the experience make you bitter and shut off your heart completely. If that happens it can be lonely existence and a life half lived. Take care x

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"I think so many guys on here pretend to be something they're not to get what they want. I had a bit of a shock today too. Shame the bad eggs ruin for the good guys. X

No, they don't!

What a kind word. Innocent ..

I know Granny, I'm mellowing with age.

You're one of the anomalies that gives people hope.

Still don't know how I ended up with a partner from here when neither of us weren't interested in anything but nsa!

Actually, after our first message on 17 November 2013, til our first social on 24 November we spoke every evening for at least three hours, and sent emails during the day. It increased after we met.

Eight months later as you know he moved in, still here!

We shouldn't work, but we do...go figure!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thank you for the people who have been kind and helped.

To the others who've told me to grow up and whatever else. I hope none of you ever get hurt and made to feel absolutely worthless by someone's lies. Didn't realise feelings made someone immature. "

I'm sorry this happened to u. I believe u didn't come here for a relationship but someone sounded too good to pass it by and u fell for it. This happened to me too although I didn't meet him and I never had any intention of a relationship from a swinging site either.

Seems like he's quite the pro at this as he's done the same to her. Best thing to do is block him and try to move on cos seeing and verifications will only upset u. Hope ur feeling a bit better today

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

People lie to get laid, it's as simple as that. But anyone looking for a proper relationship on a swinging site is going to have to kiss a lot of frogs and will have to accept that most people are looking for NSA. It's not match.com.

It does happen, Debs and I met on a swinging site but the relationship stuff developed later neither of us were looking for anything other than a really good shag

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sounds to me like he played you to get you into bed he has had his fun and is now moving on, I have been in the situation before with a guy, move on hun and find a man that will adore you for being you and wont use lines to get you into bed you was basically a shag because you was there when he needed to fuck.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Playing you like a fiddle, sorry but putting up a meet and saying not for sex, maybe, maybe not, but filling you with bollox.

He clearly dont want you having a good time, but plays the game himself, he is a control freak, wants his cake and eat it, and trying to fill you with crap in the mean time.

Move on to someone that deserves you, we can all do better than put up with that bollox.

Sorry for the rant love, but you any woman that listens to that can do better x

Her

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You were played ...

Sadly some people will lie and charm there way through life to get what they want, Regardless of anyones feelings, Id imagine it's happened to most at some point. It's not nice, it's not clever. If they want to go through life like that Let them. It will be them that suffer in the long run. Chin up

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By *allipygousMan over a year ago

Leicester

I reckon all the guys who start the 'Why Can't I Get A Meet?' posts should track this "G" geezer down for some tips.

When you think what a small percentage of the site use/read the forums he seems to be doing rather well...

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

Good cross section of advice and opinion

It was never going to be all positive as people have different experiences, different expectations & different reactions to situations.

Stand back and re_iew the situation, learn from it and move forward.

There are players in both genders on here as there are in life. Some are merciless in their approach and do not give a shit how they get what they want.

You can only be played if you allow it.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Poor girl I despise this sort of thing in men and women, sorry you have been hurt like that, be careful who you open up to especially on fab x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Good cross section of advice and opinion

It was never going to be all positive as people have different experiences, different expectations & different reactions to situations.

Stand back and re_iew the situation, learn from it and move forward.

There are players in both genders on here as there are in life. Some are merciless in their approach and do not give a shit how they get what they want.

You can only be played if you allow it.

Good luck"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Good cross section of advice and opinion

It was never going to be all positive as people have different experiences, different expectations & different reactions to situations.

Stand back and re_iew the situation, learn from it and move forward.

There are players in both genders on here as there are in life. Some are merciless in their approach and do not give a shit how they get what they want.

You can only be played if you allow it.

Good luck"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Poor girl I despise this sort of thing in men and women, sorry you have been hurt like that, be careful who you open up to especially on fab x "

This for sure

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