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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Advice please!
I have planned a meet tonight, with me going to them for the evening. This was arranged Tuesday night after having a lovely time at the pub with him.
Now since the 1st meet the texts have slacked off abit and pretty much most of the comunication in general.
Can someone please advise at what point would you think it was a non starter as, He hasnt offered his address, even tho he knows ive only just passed my driving test and im not really quiet sure about which exit to get off on the motorway, so hes not even offering direction either.
Im going to have to call my sitter in an hour to say yes im going so she can make her way over here to have my kids so i can play and i dont really want to pay out for baby sitter if i dont end up going.
Am i being silly to think that he should of by now have given me his address as this is my first time of me going to them??
HELP!  |
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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago
warwickshire |
If you've had a good night at the pub with him, you can obviously talk to him. Pick up the phone and say "We still on then for later? It's a scary drive for someone who's just passed their test"
If you think he's being evasive, say it straight out - "You aren't pissing me about are you?"
Where are you supposed to be meeting him anyway if he's not given you his address? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why not give them a phone, if its answered, then ask where your going to, if its unaswered, I would think its a non starter.
If they know your situation re babysitters, their actions are a bit rude.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well i did last nite i sent a text and got a reply but not the address.
Hes at work so i cant ring him and by the time he finishes i should be on my way to him.
Well thats what i thought!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sounds to me like hes changed his mind....if he was genuine he would of made sure himself that you were coming and knew where you were going.....sorry to sound negative but in my experience you can usually tell when someones gone off the boil....i would cancel your babysitter...or arrange a different night out...then if he happens to make contact explain that you thought he'd changed his mind due to lack of contact....for which no matter what he says there is no excuse....
good luck x |
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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago
warwickshire |
Wait until he finishes work and can speak to you on the phone to allay your fears, you aren't going to lose much time together are you?
If he's a decent bloke with an ounce of common sense he'll fully understand that a single woman might be apprehensive about setting off into the unknown, will be happy that you've phoned to get clarification and will give you some straight answers. It's not like you are having second thoughts about the meet itself. If he does take issue, then he's obviously a twat and possibly best given a wide berth.
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"sounds to me like hes changed his mind....if he was genuine he would of made sure himself that you were coming and knew where you were going.....sorry to sound negative but in my experience you can usually tell when someones gone off the boil....i would cancel your babysitter...or arrange a different night out...then if he happens to make contact explain that you thought he'd changed his mind due to lack of contact....for which no matter what he says there is no excuse....
good luck x"
Great guess work.... but, what's wrong with actually just asking people instead of assuming and then trying to blame them for your assumptions? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Advice please!
I have planned a meet tonight, with me going to them for the evening. This was arranged Tuesday night after having a lovely time at the pub with him.
Now since the 1st meet the texts have slacked off abit and pretty much most of the comunication in general.
Can someone please advise at what point would you think it was a non starter as, He hasnt offered his address, even tho he knows ive only just passed my driving test and im not really quiet sure about which exit to get off on the motorway, so hes not even offering direction either.
Im going to have to call my sitter in an hour to say yes im going so she can make her way over here to have my kids so i can play and i dont really want to pay out for baby sitter if i dont end up going.
Am i being silly to think that he should of by now have given me his address as this is my first time of me going to them??
HELP! "
Ok...here's my thoughts.
From what you've said it appears you may have had a lovely time: he didn't and is cowardly avoiding you.
After a social meet I've yet to come across communication drying up if the other is interersted. If you click you can't wait to get down to it.
I would take it that he's not interested, especially since he hasn't given you his address.
I would think seriously about putting myself to any expense, as he has had ample time to contact you if he was interested in taking it further.
You've posted here asking for advice: I think you already know this is a non-starter! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wait until he finishes work and can speak to you on the phone to allay your fears, you aren't going to lose much time together are you?
If he's a decent bloke with an ounce of common sense he'll fully understand that a single woman might be apprehensive about setting off into the unknown, will be happy that you've phoned to get clarification and will give you some straight answers. It's not like you are having second thoughts about the meet itself. If he does take issue, then he's obviously a twat and possibly best given a wide berth.
"
But the sitter will be at my house and il still have to pay even if i dont go  |
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So you have only just passed your driving test and yet he expects you to drive out blindly towards an area at night without giving you an address?
Would I do it?.....never in a million years.
Sounds like me you are heading somewhere to in all probablity end up having sex in your car. |
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"Wait until he finishes work and can speak to you on the phone to allay your fears, you aren't going to lose much time together are you?
If he's a decent bloke with an ounce of common sense he'll fully understand that a single woman might be apprehensive about setting off into the unknown, will be happy that you've phoned to get clarification and will give you some straight answers. It's not like you are having second thoughts about the meet itself. If he does take issue, then he's obviously a twat and possibly best given a wide berth.
But the sitter will be at my house and il still have to pay even if i dont go "
But you will have more expense if you do, give a girlfriend a ring and arrange a night out |
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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago
warwickshire |
Then I refer you my learned colleague, Sassy (and everyone else) who suggests that this may be a non-starter. Save your money, cancel, better safe than sorry. If he IS genuine and it's just poor communication, he'll learn a valuable lesson. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"PS - the same question as before.... have you actually asked him for his address?"
Yep last night with how long i thought it was going to take being the m25 on a friday night...he just answered with the m25 isnt that bad that time! |
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"PS - the same question as before.... have you actually asked him for his address?
Yep last night with how long i thought it was going to take being the m25 on a friday night...he just answered with the m25 isnt that bad that time!"
And did you reply with "you forgot to add your address" ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"PS - the same question as before.... have you actually asked him for his address?
Yep last night with how long i thought it was going to take being the m25 on a friday night...he just answered with the m25 isnt that bad that time!
And did you reply with "you forgot to add your address" ?
"
Not straight away as i had to bath the kids but he didnt answer the txt until later when he changed the subject.
I have just answered my own question havent i! lol
Oh well still finding my feet i guess! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No beating around the bush, no pun intended. Ask straight out for address by txt or call. No reply that's your answer. Hope it all goes well, if not his loss xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you have only just passed your driving test and yet he expects you to drive out blindly towards an area at night without giving you an address?
Would I do it?.....never in a million years.
Sounds like me you are heading somewhere to in all probablity end up having sex in your car."
or just a wild goose chase ending with disappointment. Hope not tho. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Turn off every appliance in the house.
Sit in the middle of the carpet where you cannot touch any furniture.
Close your eyes.
Engage your brain for five minutes.
Ask yourself a series of simple questions.
Mostly relating to the amount of effort HE is putting in.
Finally give make an informed calculation and state a percentage probability of this man being interested in meeting you.
Pay the baby sitter with a smile.
Put a film on. Cuddle the kids and be happy to be with those who actually do love you n have a great night xxx
Go to bed when the kids do. Take a pencil and paper with you.
Have a fantastic fantasy and D.I.Y sex. KNOW it is better than anything he would have given you. ( I do so hope you haven't used the pencil for this )
Take the pencil and paper. Write a short list of how to take control in a meet situation but do it nicely.
e.g. make sure your meet can meet you two mins from your home.
make sure he can accommodate
make plans in advance so that you can arrange child care facilities well in advance.
have a plan b so that if you are let down you can put plan b into operation e.g a no show means you go to the pics or sommat.
Just make your mind up not be so 'in a tizzy' about such inconsequential people and events. xxx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From reading the first line of the OP post, I understand it that she's meeting a couple, after having a good time with the guy on his own at the pub.
He may be up for it, but may be his other half isn't?
Either way, simply because of the lack of communication, it's a no brainer really.
Stay home or make other plans  |
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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago
warwickshire |
"Well it looks like the OP has her answer, I'm sorry to report.
The bloke concerned really has no balls. What a complete tosser.
How do you know that? Has he done it to you too?
"
I'm just psychic.
No wait, it's "psycho", not "psychic", I always get them confused.
Either that, or I've made further enquiries..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No but i messaged him on here as he was on and he read the message and signed back out again!
I would just like to thank you all for your response. This is the first time arranged to meet at there place and ive only had a total of 3 meets in all so still finding ones feet!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From reading the first line of the OP post, I understand it that she's meeting a couple, after having a good time with the guy on his own at the pub.
He may be up for it, but may be his other half isn't?
Either way, simply because of the lack of communication, it's a no brainer really.
Stay home or make other plans "
I don't think it's a couple, simply the way she's phrashed it! "Them" = him! |
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