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Funny work stories
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was answering the phones at work yesterday & a woman rang up to say she would be late for her hearing as she was stuck on a train. Apparently someone had a heart attack on the train & they were waiting for a replacement driver. I asked if it was the driver who had the heart attack & she said no, but the driver was rushing & fell over & broke his ankle. Is it wrong that I was trying really hard not to laugh at this?  |
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My friend was chatting the other day and her office junior had buggered off at lunch time.. and arrived back at about 4pm..
They asked where the hell she had been and Someone from admin had gave her 50quid and asked her to go to the hardware shop for a "Long-Stand".. 3 hours she waited in the shop..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A former colleague was walking through the office once, tripped over something on the floor and went head first into the filing cabinet.
He spent the next few hits in hospital having various X-rays, but is still extremely proud of having bent the side of the cabinet so badly that to this day we still can't open the bottom drawer.
The ultimate irony? The offending item on the floor that he'd tripped over was a Health & Safety poster which had fallen off the wall! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A male colleague of mine brought me back a remote egg from Amsterdam. We were alone in the office so he said let's try it out. So,I placed it down my trousers on the outside of my knickers,nestled in between my lips. We were having a laugh with it with him messing around with the settings. Some of them were making me jump off my chair a little. Then our boss walked in;a very straight laced man. My colleagues face lit up and he went over to the other side of the office,with the remote,leaving me about 6 feet from the boss trapped in the chair. It was torture trying not to react to the intense vibrations and I was panicking in case the boss could hear it. I turned my head to give my colleague a stare and he was leaning on the filing cabinet,pretending to look for something with his shoulders bouncing up and down with silent laughter. Just as the boss walked back out of the office he turned it up full and I jumped off my chair. I've never used it since. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A male colleague of mine brought me back a remote egg from Amsterdam. We were alone in the office so he said let's try it out. So,I placed it down my trousers on the outside of my knickers,nestled in between my lips. We were having a laugh with it with him messing around with the settings. Some of them were making me jump off my chair a little. Then our boss walked in;a very straight laced man. My colleagues face lit up and he went over to the other side of the office,with the remote,leaving me about 6 feet from the boss trapped in the chair. It was torture trying not to react to the intense vibrations and I was panicking in case the boss could hear it. I turned my head to give my colleague a stare and he was leaning on the filing cabinet,pretending to look for something with his shoulders bouncing up and down with silent laughter. Just as the boss walked back out of the office he turned it up full and I jumped off my chair. I've never used it since. "
Love this!   |
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We used to use a lot of a type of solvent called gun-cleaner, its extremely flammable & this was back in the days of smoking at work.
The boss had left his matches lying around, so one idiot decided to fill the solvent container lid with solvent & set fire to it. I was busy machining an expensive bit of material & we only had the one bit so I couldn't afford to get it wrong, he waved it in front of me & I told him to 'fuck off & put it out'.
He put the still burning lid on top of the OPEN solvent container, bent over it & tried to blow it out..
..the resulting fireball blew him arse over tit, took his eyebrows & most of his hair & left a 9ft scorch mark up the newly painted wall.
The boss ran in & asked what had happened, the idiot replied "I was just walking past when it exploded..."
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"I was answering the phones at work yesterday & a woman rang up to say she would be late for her hearing as she was stuck on a train. Apparently someone had a heart attack on the train & they were waiting for a replacement driver. I asked if it was the driver who had the heart attack & she said no, but the driver was rushing & fell over & broke his ankle. Is it wrong that I was trying really hard not to laugh at this? "
Yes it's awful, poor sod was probably rushing to help out with a life threatening situation, and sustained an injury that will be painful for ages, if it ever even heals properly - and you think it's funny?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was answering the phones at work yesterday & a woman rang up to say she would be late for her hearing as she was stuck on a train. Apparently someone had a heart attack on the train & they were waiting for a replacement driver. I asked if it was the driver who had the heart attack & she said no, but the driver was rushing & fell over & broke his ankle. Is it wrong that I was trying really hard not to laugh at this?
Yes it's awful, poor sod was probably rushing to help out with a life threatening situation, and sustained an injury that will be painful for ages, if it ever even heals properly - and you think it's funny? "
Yes, I did. Shoot me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Had someone ring up to ask to speak to a Mr Cox once.
Nobody of that name worked at my office. After chatting for a while, realised they wanted to talk to a Mr Dix |
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By *iggy1Woman
over a year ago
DORCHESTER |
I'm constantly amazed at how stupid the general public are. I work in a supermarket and they literally leave their common sense at the door... The things people do with a self scan beggars belief... " why does my bunch of spring onions cost £3.50 " umm you put them in as individual onions! " what is my unexpected item in the bagging area" umm your toddler perhaps! Do you work here? Nope I love wearing this colour and enjoy taking shit from people all day! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was answering the phones at work yesterday & a woman rang up to say she would be late for her hearing as she was stuck on a train. Apparently someone had a heart attack on the train & they were waiting for a replacement driver. I asked if it was the driver who had the heart attack & she said no, but the driver was rushing & fell over & broke his ankle. Is it wrong that I was trying really hard not to laugh at this?
Yes it's awful, poor sod was probably rushing to help out with a life threatening situation, and sustained an injury that will be painful for ages, if it ever even heals properly - and you think it's funny?
Yes, I did. Shoot me."
BANG ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm constantly amazed at how stupid the general public are. I work in a supermarket and they literally leave their common sense at the door... The things people do with a self scan beggars belief... " why does my bunch of spring onions cost £3.50 " umm you put them in as individual onions! " what is my unexpected item in the bagging area" umm your toddler perhaps! Do you work here? Nope I love wearing this colour and enjoy taking shit from people all day! "
I once took a phone call from a 90 year old dearie, the conversation went as follows:
"Morning sonny, you've sent me a letter, can you tell me what it's about?"
"Ok, what does it say...?"
"Well I don't know, I haven't opened it yet......"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When i first got my hgv licence i took a lorry full of office furniture to a place in Southern Germany,couldnt find the street name.Asked a local who in turn told me there is two towns called Trappenkamp in Germany and mine was 15 miles from the Danish border,only 600k away.oops  |
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My boss when I was 17 bought me alcohol for our Christmas party.. There were only 3 of us working at this shop so it wasn't much of a party! Anyway, I have always had shakey hands for some reason, so I was constantly dropping things - not good considering I worked in a jewellery shop! I said to him, I'll have one drink in the last hour of my shift just in case we got a customer. It got to 6pm and my boss says, right lets have a drink and start packing up early, we won't get any customers in now! So I had a drink, and another drink.. Then 4 elderly ladies walked in. I had the giggles, I headbutted the door, I almost fell into the display cabinet and I tripped over my feet a dozen times. Luckily the women realised that it was our Christmas party and forgave my silliness and I actually sold over £300 worth of stuff!
No where near as funny as some of these stories but oh well!
Oh and at my last job, my managers boyfriend called. I never had a problem with the phones before.. But for some reason I managed to hang up on him 3 times trying to put him through to the office! And he's the guy who taught me how to use the phone in the first place! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was answering the phones at work yesterday & a woman rang up to say she would be late for her hearing as she was stuck on a train. Apparently someone had a heart attack on the train & they were waiting for a replacement driver. I asked if it was the driver who had the heart attack & she said no, but the driver was rushing & fell over & broke his ankle. Is it wrong that I was trying really hard not to laugh at this?
Yes it's awful, poor sod was probably rushing to help out with a life threatening situation, and sustained an injury that will be painful for ages, if it ever even heals properly - and you think it's funny? "
I laughed at the irony. No one wants people to be hurt. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I was answering the phones at work yesterday & a woman rang up to say she would be late for her hearing as she was stuck on a train. Apparently someone had a heart attack on the train & they were waiting for a replacement driver. I asked if it was the driver who had the heart attack & she said no, but the driver was rushing & fell over & broke his ankle. Is it wrong that I was trying really hard not to laugh at this?
Yes it's awful, poor sod was probably rushing to help out with a life threatening situation, and sustained an injury that will be painful for ages, if it ever even heals properly - and you think it's funny? "
As the late great Bill Hicks said, it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then its hilarious. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My work stories aren't funny... they involve difficult, disturbing and dangerous behaviour"
Really? your job must be wank!! Every single job I've had no matter how dangerous they have been we've had a laugh at some point! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was answering the phones at work yesterday & a woman rang up to say she would be late for her hearing as she was stuck on a train. Apparently someone had a heart attack on the train & they were waiting for a replacement driver. I asked if it was the driver who had the heart attack & she said no, but the driver was rushing & fell over & broke his ankle. Is it wrong that I was trying really hard not to laugh at this?
Yes it's awful, poor sod was probably rushing to help out with a life threatening situation, and sustained an injury that will be painful for ages, if it ever even heals properly - and you think it's funny?
I laughed at the irony. No one wants people to be hurt."
.
Thank you. Glad you got it!! Me & my workmates thought it sounded like a Frank Spencer moment!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was answering the phones at work yesterday & a woman rang up to say she would be late for her hearing as she was stuck on a train. Apparently someone had a heart attack on the train & they were waiting for a replacement driver. I asked if it was the driver who had the heart attack & she said no, but the driver was rushing & fell over & broke his ankle. Is it wrong that I was trying really hard not to laugh at this?
Yes it's awful, poor sod was probably rushing to help out with a life threatening situation, and sustained an injury that will be painful for ages, if it ever even heals properly - and you think it's funny?
As the late great Bill Hicks said, it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then its hilarious."
I prefer the less well known quote, it's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits  |
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"I'm constantly amazed at how stupid the general public are. I work in a supermarket and they literally leave their common sense at the door... The things people do with a self scan beggars belief... " why does my bunch of spring onions cost £3.50 " umm you put them in as individual onions! " what is my unexpected item in the bagging area" umm your toddler perhaps! Do you work here? Nope I love wearing this colour and enjoy taking shit from people all day! "
Haha that's only part of it as well! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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During a police talk at the school I worked in an officer asked where they might find dna as evidence. A boy turned to me and whispered "Is it in spunk?". Then wouldn't shut up when I ignored him and a teacher asked what he had asked me. Everyone in the class turned around to look as I explained he wanted to know if it's in semen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I used to work part time in a sports shop we used to play games on other stores. We managed to get one lad from another shop to spend 20 mins looking for a pair of running trainers by Reebok called Windup. The manager was not impressed when he realized what his lad was looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We once got the temporary cover receptionist with the old classic "Mike Hunt " phone call. Sent her off to go look and ask if anyone had seen him. Bless the poor girl was oblivious to any entendre. |
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"We once got the temporary cover receptionist with the old classic "Mike Hunt " phone call. Sent her off to go look and ask if anyone had seen him. Bless the poor girl was oblivious to any entendre. "
when i was about 19 i played the same trick on our 57 year old barmaid ...... phoned from reception and told her to ask if there was a russian guy call Jack Meoff in the bar !
most of the customers were laughing and she still didn't twig until we explained it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I work in an all male environment and to be honest I get all the stick when anything naughty gets talked about. But then again I wouldn't have it any other way too
so many funny things have happened it'd take me all day to tell you |
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