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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
You cannot control someone else's behaviour, but you can control the way you react it to.
Personally, I find that amount of bitterness really off-putting. And believe me, if I were of a mind, I have loads of people I could add to that kind of list, but to carry that much emotion gives them credence and space in my life they do not deserve. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You cannot control someone else's behaviour, but you can control the way you react it to.
Personally, I find that amount of bitterness really off-putting. And believe me, if I were of a mind, I have loads of people I could add to that kind of list, but to carry that much emotion gives them credence and space in my life they do not deserve."
I understand what your saying |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He has been destroying the family over 40 years and just seems no end to it. Some of the things he has done would make jk cringe but he would need a weeks view to fit everything in the show lol |
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By *gNeMan
over a year ago
Harrogate |
"To want your evil man of a father to drop dead who has destroyed lives of most of the family and continues to do so."
It's a tough one. Presumably he is a narcissist, from the little you have said it appears that way.
In which case, he has a serious mental disorder, and should really be helped and showered with love.
The problem with narcissists though, is that 99% of them believe there is nothing wrong with them, and so carry on to use and manipulate those who show them love or forgiveness. They can only solve the problem if they can admit they have one, most can't.
It must be a horrible thing to have one as a close relative. Ive come across a few in my time, even dated one (god that was a mess) rather than wish him dead though, instead you should probably just pity him, because he will ultimately die sad and lonely.
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
I think you maybe need to seek a wee bit of support and/or counselling to deal with your issues with it.
What you say he has done is awful, but you cannot change that. Get yourself some help and support before you end up very bitter with it all.
Good luck OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To want your evil man of a father to drop dead who has destroyed lives of most of the family and continues to do so."
I hated my dad
when I was young I wished him dead on a daily basis
when he did die I only went to see him to make sure he was dead
you can't choose your family
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My father was the same. Repeatedly tried to hurt/fuck us over for about 20 years. I used to be angry but I later realised he wasn't worth the energy. Now I feel nothing.
People learned to stop trusting him or giving him chances and he has now essentially been exiled from the family.
Nobody talks to him, he has nothing and no one and he has pretty much shot himself in the foot.
There's a good line in the ending song of Portal 2 that may come in handy here:
"I used to want you dead but now I only want you gone".
- Amy. x |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"I'm not bitter I have seen professional help.i can deal with what he did to me I'm past all that. "
So past it all that you choose to post about it on here? If you are truly past it OP, then you would have no need to drag it up again - it is like picking a scab - it won't heal if you continually worry at it.
I hope you find some peace. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My gran had a daughter which we never knew about until my grandad died as in the days it was frowned upon.i remember her being at my grandads funeral but not much more as I was only young. I found out everything two years ago about the extended family and become close to them. Though I have not met them yet we keep in contact by phone and that. My new found auntie was told a few weeks ago that her cancer had come back but in both her lungs. He has turned around and said that she is not his sister and hope she dies soon. Yes it's only his half sister but ffs that's just pure evil. That's one of the many things he has done over the years. It's what he is doing to this extended family that's my issue. He can't destroy me no more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not bitter I have seen professional help.i can deal with what he did to me I'm past all that. "
sure doesn't sound that way, and why quote it all here online, don't take offence but I think you need to continue with your professional help
wishing you well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To want your evil man of a father to drop dead who has destroyed lives of most of the family and continues to do so."
Nope, not in the least.
I walked away from my birth family 45 years ago and have never been back. Abused between 8 and 12 by family, "friends" of family and teachers.
No, it isn't evil to want him dead. Far better to do something about it though.
I can't reply privately as you don't allow messages from guys, sorry for posting this in the forum.
Gary |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I agree with others,that level of bitterness will hurt you more than it hurts anyone else.Sometimes you have to learn to move on and accept things,for your own peace of mind.That doesn't mean you forget what someone has done,but that you choose your own happiness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To want your evil man of a father to drop dead who has destroyed lives of most of the family and continues to do so.
I hated my dad
when I was young I wished him dead on a daily basis
when he did die I only went to see him to make sure he was dead
you can't choose your family
"
That's the only reason I'll ever agree to be in proximity with my "father" again, I want to be sure he's definitely en route to hell. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, it isn't evil to want him dead. Far better to do something about it though.
That sounds like you are advocating something very sinister indeed.."
No, nothing sinister. Some people are so evil that they dont even know they are evil. For me, i walked away 45 years ago and not been back since. They have never seen their grandchildren or great grandchildren. At some point i assume that they will realise that their actions had consequences. |
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By *gNeMan
over a year ago
Harrogate |
"
No, nothing sinister. Some people are so evil that they dont even know they are evil. For me, i walked away 45 years ago and not been back since. They have never seen their grandchildren or great grandchildren. At some point i assume that they will realise that their actions had consequences."
Phew! Yep totally agree then, best way to deal with those people is to cut them off entirely. Most likely they won't realise or care about the consequences, people like that lack the capacity. You can be happy in the knowledge that those without the capacity for love are very very miserable people on the inside though! Sorry to hear about your troubles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You cannot control someone else's behaviour, but you can control the way you react it to.
Personally, I find that amount of bitterness really off-putting. And believe me, if I were of a mind, I have loads of people I could add to that kind of list, but to carry that much emotion gives them credence and space in my life they do not deserve."
I haven't spoke to my family for years but genuinely feel no animosity or hatred towards them, at worst the only real emostion is indifference and a desire to hopefully never have to deal with them again.
Hatred is a horrid emotion, it;s a cancer that eats you up, I would honestly seek help if you genuinely hate him as much as your opening post implies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I harbour some very dark thoughts toward my Stepfather and feel if he was in my life I would deal him some serious violence. Luckily he is in another country and I would simply avoid him anyway as life's too short.
However if he is playing an active and current part in fucking up your life it must be very hard for you chap!!!
Sorry you feel that way. |
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