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Was hoping for a reply but what I said wasn't acknowledged :(
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The thread about needing to see a silly picture before a meet I wrote a big fuck off paragraph hoping for some insight and advice but nothing  so I've copy and pasted my reply here. It is a genuine pisses me off so much problem so would appreciate thoughts.
"Yes and I think that's where I've been going wrong the last 6 years of dating.
I need to get it out of my head that penis size is the be all and end all, I'm 32 next month for fuck sake, time isn't on my side and my looks will fade.
Whenever I've met a guy to date off a dating site I'll request a penis picture and that automatically sets the tone. They then see me as someone who's only interested in shagging and therefore put me in the chuck and fuck category.
I desperately want a boyfriend, I'm fulfilled and lucky to have lots of friends and good family but a boyfriend would fill a different void.
I seriously seriously have a problem. I can't just date a guy and get to know him and develop bonds and feelings, I have it in my head that he MUST HAVE a good looking face MUST be over 6ft MUST have a penis bigger than 7" with decent girth. Without those things and without seeing that he has those things I won't even consider meeting then or dating them.
How do I stop being like this it's pathetic. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you're asking for cock pics on a dating site and wondering why you're not being taken seriously?"
My exact same thoughts. I'd never dream of asking for a cock pic on a dating site, don't care much for them here either. Its like a guy asking for a pussy pic on a dating site, all communications would cease immediately followed by a block!! You need to go with the flow and not expect anything then there's no pressure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you want my honest opinion I think you are creating the problem yourself. When proper relationships ie looking for a life partner, are concerned, are those things really important? The funny thing is we can't really choose who we fall in love with. When it's true love the physical attributes are far less important. Maybe that is why guys only think you are after one thing? Just my feelings. |
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"The thread about needing to see a silly picture before a meet I wrote a big fuck off paragraph hoping for some insight and advice but nothing so I've copy and pasted my reply here. It is a genuine pisses me off so much problem so would appreciate thoughts.
Yes and I think that's where I've been going wrong the last 6 years of dating.
I need to get it out of my head that penis size is the be all and end all, I'm 32 next month for fuck sake, time isn't on my side and my looks will fade.
Whenever I've met a guy to date off a dating site I'll request a penis picture and that automatically sets the tone. They then see me as someone who's only interested in shagging and therefore put me in the chuck and fuck category.
I desperately want a boyfriend, I'm fulfilled and lucky to have lots of friends and good family but a boyfriend would fill a different void.
I seriously seriously have a problem. I can't just date a guy and get to know him and develop bonds and feelings, I have it in my head that he MUST HAVE a good looking face MUST be over 6ft MUST have a penis bigger than 7" with decent girth. Without those things and without seeing that he has those things I won't even consider meeting then or dating them.
How do I stop being like this it's pathetic. "
I think it wasn't acknowledged because you took it completely off topic.
Any who.. I don't think you be expected to be taken seriously as girlfriend material if you go around requesting cock pics on a vanilla dating site.
If you are desparate for a boyfriend surely you can compromise on some areas? |
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I completely agree with you OP. This was my problem on a 'normal' dating site that it feels inappropriate to say you're a sexual woman.
Sex is part of a relationship and if it's highly important to you (apparently it's not for some women!) then maybe we need to get over being afraid to say so and those who put you in the fuck and chuck category are actually putting themselves in that category and not worth YOU dating THEM.
It's almost like guys only want a good girl for a relationship and a bad girl for fun but that's why most guys end up in sexless passionless relationships rather than seeing that bad girls can also be good decent loving women who just like sex.
I wish you luck op. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think in your mind you've created the perfect partner you think you need.Forget about the physical and concentrate on the emotional.What would happen if you met the perfect guy,got the tape measure out and his penis was "only" 6 and a half inches?
Quite often we fall for people we'd never expect to do stop dismissing guys on the basis of your perfect man,and get out on some dates...
I'm not sayin you should settle on a 4'8" guy with a 3" penis,but you get the gist... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you're asking for cock pics on a dating site and wondering why you're not being taken seriously?
My exact same thoughts. I'd never dream of asking for a cock pic on a dating site, don't care much for them here either. Its like a guy asking for a pussy pic on a dating site, all communications would cease immediately followed by a block!! You need to go with the flow and not expect anything then there's no pressure."
When I use dating sites I genuinely use them for their intended purpose. If a woman asked me for a cock pic I'd simply assume she's looking for a one night stand or she's an easy/desperate shag. Neither of which I find appealing, even on here I like my mind to be engaged and have some common interests as the person I'm meeting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thread about needing to see a silly picture before a meet I wrote a big fuck off paragraph hoping for some insight and advice but nothing so I've copy and pasted my reply here. It is a genuine pisses me off so much problem so would appreciate thoughts.
Yes and I think that's where I've been going wrong the last 6 years of dating.
I need to get it out of my head that penis size is the be all and end all, I'm 32 next month for fuck sake, time isn't on my side and my looks will fade.
Whenever I've met a guy to date off a dating site I'll request a penis picture and that automatically sets the tone. They then see me as someone who's only interested in shagging and therefore put me in the chuck and fuck category.
I desperately want a boyfriend, I'm fulfilled and lucky to have lots of friends and good family but a boyfriend would fill a different void.
I seriously seriously have a problem. I can't just date a guy and get to know him and develop bonds and feelings, I have it in my head that he MUST HAVE a good looking face MUST be over 6ft MUST have a penis bigger than 7" with decent girth. Without those things and without seeing that he has those things I won't even consider meeting then or dating them.
How do I stop being like this it's pathetic. "
Let's meet up, you'll see average willie can be funny when they move with russian music in the background  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you want my honest opinion I think you are creating the problem yourself. When proper relationships ie looking for a life partner, are concerned, are those things really important? The funny thing is we can't really choose who we fall in love with. When it's true love the physical attributes are far less important. Maybe that is why guys only think you are after one thing? Just my feelings."
This, basically - the pics on your profile on here are gorgeous and your body looks fantastic but if I was in the market for a girlfriend I'd be looking for things like a shared interest or two, a similar sense of humour/outlook on life, an easy, 'stable' disposition, the beginnings of a spark of chemistry... all of which you only get a feel for by giving someone time to reveal their personality to you. Although the fab body would help too, of course  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So you're asking for cock pics on a dating site and wondering why you're not being taken seriously?"
Yes, I'd like to draw attention to the last line of the paragraph I wrote, "how do is top being like this it's pathetic"
I wish so much that I wasn't the way I am and that I didn't think the way I do.
I'm not wondering how I'm not taking seriously on vanilla dating sites, I KNOW it's because I always ask for cock pictures. My question was how do I change my mindset from thinking penis size, physical attractiveness and all that bollocks is the be all and end all. I don't want to be this way. 6 years single is a result of being that way and I don't want to think the way I do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I completely agree with you OP. This was my problem on a 'normal' dating site that it feels inappropriate to say you're a sexual woman.
Sex is part of a relationship and if it's highly important to you (apparently it's not for some women!) then maybe we need to get over being afraid to say so and those who put you in the fuck and chuck category are actually putting themselves in that category and not worth YOU dating THEM.
It's almost like guys only want a good girl for a relationship and a bad girl for fun but that's why most guys end up in sexless passionless relationships rather than seeing that bad girls can also be good decent loving women who just like sex.
I wish you luck op. "
What..by asking for a cock picture on a dating site..are you serious lol  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
If they look attractive, meet 'em. If they're interesting, find out about their parts after a few dates and if they're not up to requirements, move on.
What have you got to lose? You might get some fun dates out of it, even if they end up not ticking all your boxes.
And you may surprise yourself and find that someone you wouldn't have considered, or who may have been put off by you requesting a cock pic, turns out to be your perfect match. |
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"If you are desparate for a boyfriend surely you can compromise on some areas?"
Why should she if this is to be long term? Surely easier to compromise for a one off but not for what you really want. Women should be able to say what a compatible sexual partner looks like to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think you come across as desperate but asking for Dick pics may be a bit off putting to some of these guys, or they may feel that you're just after a fuck. My advice is to take a risk, go on loads of dates, dick size really isn't the be all and end all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you're asking for cock pics on a dating site and wondering why you're not being taken seriously?
Yes, I'd like to draw attention to the last line of the paragraph I wrote, "how do is top being like this it's pathetic"
I wish so much that I wasn't the way I am and that I didn't think the way I do.
I'm not wondering how I'm not taking seriously on vanilla dating sites, I KNOW it's because I always ask for cock pictures. My question was how do I change my mindset from thinking penis size, physical attractiveness and all that bollocks is the be all and end all. I don't want to be this way. 6 years single is a result of being that way and I don't want to think the way I do. "
Easy stop asking for cock pictures..you then might get took seriously...just my thoughts  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you're asking for cock pics on a dating site and wondering why you're not being taken seriously?
Yes, I'd like to draw attention to the last line of the paragraph I wrote, "how do is top being like this it's pathetic"
I wish so much that I wasn't the way I am and that I didn't think the way I do.
I'm not wondering how I'm not taking seriously on vanilla dating sites, I KNOW it's because I always ask for cock pictures. My question was how do I change my mindset from thinking penis size, physical attractiveness and all that bollocks is the be all and end all. I don't want to be this way. 6 years single is a result of being that way and I don't want to think the way I do. "
And a bit of advise here ..its not the cock..but the guy behind it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they look attractive, meet 'em. If they're interesting, find out about their parts after a few dates and if they're not up to requirements, move on.
What have you got to lose? You might get some fun dates out of it, even if they end up not ticking all your boxes.
And you may surprise yourself and find that someone you wouldn't have considered, or who may have been put off by you requesting a cock pic, turns out to be your perfect match."
Good advice VV  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"So you're asking for cock pics on a dating site and wondering why you're not being taken seriously?
Yes, I'd like to draw attention to the last line of the paragraph I wrote, "how do is top being like this it's pathetic"
I wish so much that I wasn't the way I am and that I didn't think the way I do.
I'm not wondering how I'm not taking seriously on vanilla dating sites, I KNOW it's because I always ask for cock pictures. My question was how do I change my mindset from thinking penis size, physical attractiveness and all that bollocks is the be all and end all. I don't want to be this way. 6 years single is a result of being that way and I don't want to think the way I do. "
Just try doing it a different way. If someone ticks the visual boxes, meet them and see. Even if you're dubious you'll find what you're looking for, try it or you'll never know.
As a certain sports company say, just do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thread about needing to see a silly picture before a meet I wrote a big fuck off paragraph hoping for some insight and advice but nothing so I've copy and pasted my reply here. It is a genuine pisses me off so much problem so would appreciate thoughts.
Yes and I think that's where I've been going wrong the last 6 years of dating.
I need to get it out of my head that penis size is the be all and end all, I'm 32 next month for fuck sake, time isn't on my side and my looks will fade.
Whenever I've met a guy to date off a dating site I'll request a penis picture and that automatically sets the tone. They then see me as someone who's only interested in shagging and therefore put me in the chuck and fuck category.
I desperately want a boyfriend, I'm fulfilled and lucky to have lots of friends and good family but a boyfriend would fill a different void.
I seriously seriously have a problem. I can't just date a guy and get to know him and develop bonds and feelings, I have it in my head that he MUST HAVE a good looking face MUST be over 6ft MUST have a penis bigger than 7" with decent girth. Without those things and without seeing that he has those things I won't even consider meeting then or dating them.
How do I stop being like this it's pathetic. "
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You know if they are genuine as they won't talk about photos or swapping photos and when/if you exchange numbers it won't be mentioned
You asking for a willy shot is making you look incredibly stupid and a tad immature
As for desperately looking for love, stop looking enjoy life see your friends and when u least expect it it will happen
Oh and stop with the stupid criterias, love is love u cant help who you fall for
You are setting yourself up for a fall before you even try!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you're asking for cock pics on a dating site and wondering why you're not being taken seriously?
Yes, I'd like to draw attention to the last line of the paragraph I wrote, "how do is top being like this it's pathetic"
I wish so much that I wasn't the way I am and that I didn't think the way I do.
I'm not wondering how I'm not taking seriously on vanilla dating sites, I KNOW it's because I always ask for cock pictures. My question was how do I change my mindset from thinking penis size, physical attractiveness and all that bollocks is the be all and end all. I don't want to be this way. 6 years single is a result of being that way and I don't want to think the way I do. "
The only way you will change your thinking is by meeting those that don't quite tick all your boxes. You might even have some fun. You are putting too much pressure on you and the guy. Concentrate on looking for friends rather than lovers...you never know what may develop. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"I think in your mind you've created the perfect partner you think you need.Forget about the physical and concentrate on the emotional.What would happen if you met the perfect guy,got the tape measure out and his penis was "only" 6 and a half inches?
Quite often we fall for people we'd never expect to do stop dismissing guys on the basis of your perfect man,and get out on some dates...
I'm not sayin you should settle on a 4'8" guy with a 3" penis,but you get the gist..."
This ^^^^^
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By creating the ideal man in your head based on his physical attributes alone your closing your mind to meeting soneone who whilst doesn't tick all the boxes might be right for you in so many other ways ~ the ways that make for a loving, fun, amazing relationship.
Also I don't know men view you generally, you're obviously a very attractive women ~ but I would have thought asking for cock pics on a dating site would move you into the 'one night stand' box not the potential G/f one.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op. We can't answer what you should. I feel you already know what you should do. You've highlighted the issues yourself. Stage 1 of operation sort yourself out right there. Good luck. |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
If you are lloking for love you need to forget all about the physical requirements you imagine you require, they are in your imagination and no man will be perfect for you.
Go into dating with an open mind and you will learn that someone without a "good looking face" or who is less than "6ft, or who has a smaller penis may have all the qualities that really attract you inside.
You have what we used to term the groupie syndrom chasing a dream rather than chasing reality.
I would suggest you date a few men simply for an evening enjoying someones company rather than targetting a boyfriend.
That way you might understand that attraction is more than looks and attributes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you're asking for cock pics on a dating site and wondering why you're not being taken seriously?
Yes, I'd like to draw attention to the last line of the paragraph I wrote, "how do is top being like this it's pathetic"
I wish so much that I wasn't the way I am and that I didn't think the way I do.
I'm not wondering how I'm not taking seriously on vanilla dating sites, I KNOW it's because I always ask for cock pictures. My question was how do I change my mindset from thinking penis size, physical attractiveness and all that bollocks is the be all and end all. I don't want to be this way. 6 years single is a result of being that way and I don't want to think the way I do. "
You need to start to understand that life doesn't always revolve around the physical things. So what if someone doesn't match your idea of a perfect body, if you think that way all the time you'll never find anyone because you'll always be moving your own goalposts.
Instead try, I mean really try, to get to know someone on a personal level. If they can make you happy and feel secure that way I'm sure they'd be more than happy to accommodate what you want in the bedroom. Sure, he may not have a massive cock but I'm sure you'd find other ways of getting what you want and it's fun to experiment and share things. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"If I was on a dating site and someone asked me for intimate pictures of me, they would get the heave ho pretty damn quick!  "
Never mind that, anyone asking me for a pussy pic on here (before we've met or even established a rapport especially) is likely to get blocked! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Did your ex look that? "
Nail on the head right there!
Yes when I met my ex both of is aged 17 I'd never seen big willys or experienced them. He was 6'3 dark hair, bushy eyebrows, very good looking, fit and of course a penis just shy of 9 inches with decent girth. Was with him 10 years and he's the father of my child. Done all my best shagging with him, discovered all my likes and dislikes and what I was into sexually with him, pushed each other's boundaries was into some weird shit. BUT when I met him I didn't know about his willy until a month down the line and we were dating and then seeking each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What I'm about to say has no malicious intent. You had no acknowledgement. Now you begin to have insight to what some men go through on here. Yes it's gut wrenching. Only if you allow it to be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I'm about to say has no malicious intent. You had no acknowledgement. Now you begin to have insight to what some men go through on here. Yes it's gut wrenching. Only if you allow it to be."
This |
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By *andS66Couple
over a year ago
Derby |
Hi OP, ignore all the criticism from other posters on here. We feel for you, and can probably shed some light and help with your problem.
However, before we give you a considered response, we would need to see face, pussy, tits and arse pics, and also know your vital statistics, what you like doing in your spare time, if you're financially solvent, and if you have a GSOH.
Apart from that, like someone else said... none of the above really matters to fall in love. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"If I was on a dating site and someone asked me for intimate pictures of me, they would get the heave ho pretty damn quick!
Never mind that, anyone asking me for a pussy pic on here (before we've met or even established a rapport especially) is likely to get blocked!"
So would I to be honest, however, it wouldn't come as a shock on here, on a dating site? I wouldn't be expecting those type of requests and would certainly tell them where to go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To answer your question ~ how do I stop doing it?
It's hard to change the way you view things it's been ingrained for at least the last 6 years.
but it's down to you to make it work so you'll have to put some effort into it.
stop looking for a boyfriend and start enjoying the company of men instead. go on fun dates see what you have in common which after all is the basis of a good stable relationship.
you could also look into NLP which can help with the way you view things, would cost you but might be worth it as sure this behaviour pattern probably stems from something deeper.
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"stop looking for a boyfriend and start enjoying the company of men instead. go on fun dates see what you have in common which after all is the basis of a good stable relationship"
Boom. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"What I'm about to say has no malicious intent. You had no acknowledgement. Now you begin to have insight to what some men go through on here. Yes it's gut wrenching. Only if you allow it to be."
Huh?
People reply to posts made by men too and plenty of posts by women are overlooked or not replied to.
You make it sound as though men are always ignored on here. That's clearly not the case. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I do realise that by having this ideal in my head that I'm stopping myself from meeting guys that would be really good just need to let myself get past that so I can develop something with someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I'm about to say has no malicious intent. You had no acknowledgement. Now you begin to have insight to what some men go through on here. Yes it's gut wrenching. Only if you allow it to be.
Huh?
People reply to posts made by men too and plenty of posts by women are overlooked or not replied to.
You make it sound as though men are always ignored on here. That's clearly not the case."
Some men are ignored. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do realise that by having this ideal in my head that I'm stopping myself from meeting guys that would be really good just need to let myself get past that so I can develop something with someone. "
Being on here wont help even though ur not meeting
Go away spend time with you.
Think about whos its damaging as it looks here that its affecting you
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do realise that by having this ideal in my head that I'm stopping myself from meeting guys that would be really good just need to let myself get past that so I can develop something with someone. "
Well if you know that then it's down to you to sort out. Not sure we can add anything else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do realise that by having this ideal in my head that I'm stopping myself from meeting guys that would be really good just need to let myself get past that so I can develop something with someone. "
I'm not trying to sound like an arsehole but going by this thread and others that you've posted in the past have you considered some counselling? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do realise that by having this ideal in my head that I'm stopping myself from meeting guys that would be really good just need to let myself get past that so I can develop something with someone. "
just try dropping your barriers |
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"The thread about needing to see a silly picture before a meet I wrote a big fuck off paragraph hoping for some insight and advice but nothing so I've copy and pasted my reply here. It is a genuine pisses me off so much problem so would appreciate thoughts.
Yes and I think that's where I've been going wrong the last 6 years of dating.
I need to get it out of my head that penis size is the be all and end all, I'm 32 next month for fuck sake, time isn't on my side and my looks will fade.
Whenever I've met a guy to date off a dating site I'll request a penis picture and that automatically sets the tone. They then see me as someone who's only interested in shagging and therefore put me in the chuck and fuck category.
I desperately want a boyfriend, I'm fulfilled and lucky to have lots of friends and good family but a boyfriend would fill a different void.
I seriously seriously have a problem. I can't just date a guy and get to know him and develop bonds and feelings, I have it in my head that he MUST HAVE a good looking face MUST be over 6ft MUST have a penis bigger than 7" with decent girth. Without those things and without seeing that he has those things I won't even consider meeting then or dating them.
How do I stop being like this it's pathetic. "
There are ways of saying you're a sexual person, without sounding like a cock hungry slut, OP. The word 'libido' can often come in handy (although on conventional dating sites, if a man uses such a word or similar, he's labelled a player)
Sometimes you need to read between the lines with girls profiles on dating sites and vice-versa.
Being sexually compatible is very important (as I'm sure it is to many people on here), so I get where you're coming from. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Sounds to me like you're still hung up on your ex.
I fear that too"
Same.
I met a guy a while ago that absolutely ticked all my boxes, except being local and wanting to see me for anything other than occasional NSA sex!
He now colours what I look for on here and very few guys compare.
Unfortunately, even if they do compare and are interested in meeting me, my current level of self-esteem puts me off meeting them because I'm sure they'll be disappointed by me!
Fucked up thinking, I know!
I'm not looking for a relationship but if I were, it would probably affect this too because really, deep down, I still crave being with him. I stopped meeting him because I couldn't control how I felt and I still struggle with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to say I'd run a mile if I got this request on a standard dating site. I can't help feeling the blokes happy to send you such a pic won't make good boyfriend material either... "
I mean. . I know right dude!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did your ex look that?
Nail on the head right there!
Yes when I met my ex both of is aged 17 I'd never seen big willys or experienced them. He was 6'3 dark hair, bushy eyebrows, very good looking, fit and of course a penis just shy of 9 inches with decent girth. Was with him 10 years and he's the father of my child. Done all my best shagging with him, discovered all my likes and dislikes and what I was into sexually with him, pushed each other's boundaries was into some weird shit. BUT when I met him I didn't know about his willy until a month down the line and we were dating and then seeking each other. "
Bingo! |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"What I'm about to say has no malicious intent. You had no acknowledgement. Now you begin to have insight to what some men go through on here. Yes it's gut wrenching. Only if you allow it to be.
Huh?
People reply to posts made by men too and plenty of posts by women are overlooked or not replied to.
You make it sound as though men are always ignored on here. That's clearly not the case.
Some men are ignored. "
So are posts by women sometimes. People aren't ignored on here based on their sex. Sometimes people just post things that get missed or nobody has a response to.
To say not getting a reply to a post is gut-wrenching is a bit OTT, in my view, at least. It's only a forum.
Men who are always ignored are usually ignored for a reason, (such as they post the same threads over and over, like looking for 'phone sex or whatever). |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
Take a step on the wild side do a few blind dates chat to them no pics of any kind something like going out for a drink and a random guy chats to u not ur normal boyfriend material or ur idea of a boyfriend but someone who actually engages ur mind u never know what he's packing  |
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"I do realise that by having this ideal in my head that I'm stopping myself from meeting guys that would be really good just need to let myself get past that so I can develop something with someone.
I'm not trying to sound like an arsehole but going by this thread and others that you've posted in the past have you considered some counselling?"
I really think you need to let go of your ex.
Can you try and put ALL the physical stuff to one side, maybe for a month?
Message anyone on the dating site that catches your eye for any reason, whether it be an interesting hobby, something in common or a picture you want to know more about?
I'm not saying meet people who you definitely don't find attractive, but just see if you click with someone who doesn't tick all your boxes. If not, you might still get an interesting evening out of it
And you don't know maybe he will end up having a big willy anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do realise that by having this ideal in my head that I'm stopping myself from meeting guys that would be really good just need to let myself get past that so I can develop something with someone.
I'm not trying to sound like an arsehole but going by this thread and others that you've posted in the past have you considered some counselling?"
Counselling crossed my mind too. Seems extreme but might be worth cconsidering. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What I'm about to say has no malicious intent. You had no acknowledgement. Now you begin to have insight to what some men go through on here. Yes it's gut wrenching. Only if you allow it to be.
Huh?
People reply to posts made by men too and plenty of posts by women are overlooked or not replied to.
You make it sound as though men are always ignored on here. That's clearly not the case.
Some men are ignored.
So are posts by women sometimes. People aren't ignored on here based on their sex. Sometimes people just post things that get missed or nobody has a response to.
To say not getting a reply to a post is gut-wrenching is a bit OTT, in my view, at least. It's only a forum.
Men who are always ignored are usually ignored for a reason, (such as they post the same threads over and over, like looking for 'phone sex or whatever)."
That person involved who said it was. Probably was too him
Some people take this far far to seeiously |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do realise that by having this ideal in my head that I'm stopping myself from meeting guys that would be really good just need to let myself get past that so I can develop something with someone.
I'm not trying to sound like an arsehole but going by this thread and others that you've posted in the past have you considered some counselling?"
My thoughts too... |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"What I'm about to say has no malicious intent. You had no acknowledgement. Now you begin to have insight to what some men go through on here. Yes it's gut wrenching. Only if you allow it to be.
Huh?
People reply to posts made by men too and plenty of posts by women are overlooked or not replied to.
You make it sound as though men are always ignored on here. That's clearly not the case.
Some men are ignored.
So are posts by women sometimes. People aren't ignored on here based on their sex. Sometimes people just post things that get missed or nobody has a response to.
To say not getting a reply to a post is gut-wrenching is a bit OTT, in my view, at least. It's only a forum.
Men who are always ignored are usually ignored for a reason, (such as they post the same threads over and over, like looking for 'phone sex or whatever).
That person involved who said it was. Probably was too him
Some people take this far far to seeiously "
I can understand repeatedly being turned down for meets would be demoralising but not getting a reply on a forum? Gut-wrenching? Really? |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"If they look attractive, meet 'em. If they're interesting, find out about their parts after a few dates and if they're not up to requirements, move on.
What have you got to lose? You might get some fun dates out of it, even if they end up not ticking all your boxes.
And you may surprise yourself and find that someone you wouldn't have considered, or who may have been put off by you requesting a cock pic, turns out to be your perfect match.
Good advice VV "
This!
Just this!!
If the cock size is really a non- negotiable then you can easily stop contact after you've 'uncovered' the reality. Simple.
Setting up the whole agenda around a huge cock will more than likely get you one.
But not in the trouser department.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't know you, OP - but Ill take a punt on sharing a thought...
Unless you're looking for a Trophy Boyfriend, you've hit the nail on the head in your own post - 'time isn't on my side and my looks will fade'. Well, so will his. You're self-imposed conditions for boyfriend selection are all physically based; the same attributes you know will fade. So a relationship based solely on those criteria will fade, just like your looks.
But 'looks' don't fade, they change. You grow older, the right person, the person who sees who you are underneath the wrinkles and the saggy bits; well your that same person who they fell in love with. But its a blend of so many things - and looks are just a small part of it. You want someone you can fall in love with and that is far more than looks. Its emotional and intellectual.
Maybe, subconsciously, you've created a mental and emotional barrier in your physical requirements. Going after the physical, coupled with the NSA means that you;re highly unlikely to meet someone who wants to get close to you on all the other levels which are important for a relationship. This will simply remain on a physical level. Perhaps (and this is just a punt) its related to a previously relationship which left you emotionally damaged and so your inner self seeks to avoid future harm by creating a barrier. Although you know what you crave, part of you doesn't want the risk?
So, you exist, emotionally, mentally in a conflicted state of mind between what you consciously want and what, subconsciously, you;re allowing yourself to experience. Perhaps a course of self-taught Cognitive Behavioural Therapy may provide some benefit - allow you to reason out within yourself the factors which are driving this conflict and allow you to resolve them and to move forward?
As I said, it was just a punt on an idea. Whatever you decide, OP, Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What I'm about to say has no malicious intent. You had no acknowledgement. Now you begin to have insight to what some men go through on here. Yes it's gut wrenching. Only if you allow it to be.
Huh?
People reply to posts made by men too and plenty of posts by women are overlooked or not replied to.
You make it sound as though men are always ignored on here. That's clearly not the case.
Some men are ignored.
So are posts by women sometimes. People aren't ignored on here based on their sex. Sometimes people just post things that get missed or nobody has a response to.
To say not getting a reply to a post is gut-wrenching is a bit OTT, in my view, at least. It's only a forum.
Men who are always ignored are usually ignored for a reason, (such as they post the same threads over and over, like looking for 'phone sex or whatever).
That person involved who said it was. Probably was too him
Some people take this far far to seeiously
I can understand repeatedly being turned down for meets would be demoralising but not getting a reply on a forum? Gut-wrenching? Really? "
If fab is your life maybe
Maybe he shouldnt be on here if he cant handle rejection |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What I'm about to say has no malicious intent. You had no acknowledgement. Now you begin to have insight to what some men go through on here. Yes it's gut wrenching. Only if you allow it to be.
Huh?
People reply to posts made by men too and plenty of posts by women are overlooked or not replied to.
You make it sound as though men are always ignored on here. That's clearly not the case."
Men in couples have more success than single men but we digress. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What I'm about to say has no malicious intent. You had no acknowledgement. Now you begin to have insight to what some men go through on here. Yes it's gut wrenching. Only if you allow it to be.
Huh?
People reply to posts made by men too and plenty of posts by women are overlooked or not replied to.
You make it sound as though men are always ignored on here. That's clearly not the case.
Men in couples have more success than single men but we digress."
No. When i met. Single men for me |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
My 2pence,
It seems to me you havent gotten over your ex, you compare everyone and their attributes to his, sorry to say thats not ever going to work, its in your past the future might be even better if you let it.
Attraction is subjective if you like the look of someone chat to them, if the conversation flows meet them, do normal stuff, if you want to recreate your ex youre doomed to fail, thats why hes an ex... The future bf, life partner husband is going to be different might be 6' plus dark haired and donkey dicked but hell be different.
As for dock pictures...I'm meeting a lady next week from a pond site the nearest I've got to bedroom talk was night night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My 2pence,
It seems to me you havent gotten over your ex, you compare everyone and their attributes to his, sorry to say thats not ever going to work, its in your past the future might be even better if you let it.
Attraction is subjective if you like the look of someone chat to them, if the conversation flows meet them, do normal stuff, if you want to recreate your ex youre doomed to fail, thats why hes an ex... The future bf, life partner husband is going to be different might be 6' plus dark haired and donkey dicked but hell be different.
As for dock pictures...I'm meeting a lady next week from a pond site the nearest I've got to bedroom talk was night night."
What's a pond site? Is it where women find frogs, kiss them and they turn into princes??! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yet your profile says your not looking single guys ffs lol!
Make up your mind!
Its a sex site...try pof or some other shite "
She is, read it again. She never said she was looking on here. She may have blocked men to cut down on messages and do the searching herself? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you're asking for cock pics on a dating site and wondering why you're not being taken seriously?
My exact same thoughts. I'd never dream of asking for a cock pic on a dating site, don't care much for them here either. Its like a guy asking for a pussy pic on a dating site, all communications would cease immediately followed by a block!! You need to go with the flow and not expect anything then there's no pressure."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I need to get it out of my head that penis size is the be all and end all, I'm 32 next month for fuck sake, time isn't on my side and my looks will fade
I am very disconcerted by this remark...32 is no age yet you make it sound like you are about to become 'over the hill' where relationships are concerned!
Why should you be so bothered about what size a mans willy is ..if you are so desperate for a relationship factors such as that shouldn't even matter or be taken into account. A sense of humour is a far more important quality, as is a good personality, and more so than someone who knew he was well endowed and that was the only reason he was attractive to women...
You need to seriously change your priorities otherwise you will be dismissing perfectly acceptable men just because they don't have one thing or another |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"What I'm about to say has no malicious intent. You had no acknowledgement. Now you begin to have insight to what some men go through on here. Yes it's gut wrenching. Only if you allow it to be.
Huh?
People reply to posts made by men too and plenty of posts by women are overlooked or not replied to.
You make it sound as though men are always ignored on here. That's clearly not the case.
Men in couples have more success than single men but we digress."
We're talking about getting responses to forum posts, not responses to private messages or meets!
Athena was on about being disappointed about not getting replies to a post. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Sounds to me like you're still hung up on your ex. "
Absolutely and no one else can live up to that - even if they turned out to be bigger, better and more beautiful.
OP, this combined with being hung up on the unobtainable Christmas Soldier just tells me that need to break down your own internal barriers before you even begin to break down your external barriers to allow others to enter your world.
|
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If on being chatted up in public, you asked for a quick flash of hard cock, before chatting, guys would likely get some unease.
If the ops strategy worked, Id say great. But i dont think it generally will. People want their personality, first and foremost, to be accepted and compatible, in dating scenarios.
The ops stance seems a slight variation on a girl having precise characteristics for her prince, with the addition of 7 inches.
It should be 9 inches. Your mum didnt teach you right.
If we get stuck in life, with patterns of behaviour that limit us, then its worth not dropping it completely, but doing some experimentation and then seeing how alternative styles work. its clearly important to you, so should be important enough to be willing to try some other approaches. If youre very resistant, its because its such an ingrained habit. Decide whether youll try something different for a fixed period, such as 2 to 6 months. Then give it all youve got.
If you wont do it, then consider that you have some reason behind sabotaging your goal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't know you, OP - but Ill take a punt on sharing a thought...
Unless you're looking for a Trophy Boyfriend, you've hit the nail on the head in your own post - 'time isn't on my side and my looks will fade'. Well, so will his. You're self-imposed conditions for boyfriend selection are all physically based; the same attributes you know will fade. So a relationship based solely on those criteria will fade, just like your looks.
But 'looks' don't fade, they change. You grow older, the right person, the person who sees who you are underneath the wrinkles and the saggy bits; well your that same person who they fell in love with. But its a blend of so many things - and looks are just a small part of it. You want someone you can fall in love with and that is far more than looks. Its emotional and intellectual.
Maybe, subconsciously, you've created a mental and emotional barrier in your physical requirements. Going after the physical, coupled with the NSA means that you;re highly unlikely to meet someone who wants to get close to you on all the other levels which are important for a relationship. This will simply remain on a physical level. Perhaps (and this is just a punt) its related to a previously relationship which left you emotionally damaged and so your inner self seeks to avoid future harm by creating a barrier. Although you know what you crave, part of you doesn't want the risk?
So, you exist, emotionally, mentally in a conflicted state of mind between what you consciously want and what, subconsciously, you;re allowing yourself to experience. Perhaps a course of self-taught Cognitive Behavioural Therapy may provide some benefit - allow you to reason out within yourself the factors which are driving this conflict and allow you to resolve them and to move forward?
As I said, it was just a punt on an idea. Whatever you decide, OP, Good luck."
For a punt, this sounds spot-on, and good advice too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't know you, OP - but Ill take a punt on sharing a thought...
Unless you're looking for a Trophy Boyfriend, you've hit the nail on the head in your own post - 'time isn't on my side and my looks will fade'. Well, so will his. You're self-imposed conditions for boyfriend selection are all physically based; the same attributes you know will fade. So a relationship based solely on those criteria will fade, just like your looks.
But 'looks' don't fade, they change. You grow older, the right person, the person who sees who you are underneath the wrinkles and the saggy bits; well your that same person who they fell in love with. But its a blend of so many things - and looks are just a small part of it. You want someone you can fall in love with and that is far more than looks. Its emotional and intellectual.
Maybe, subconsciously, you've created a mental and emotional barrier in your physical requirements. Going after the physical, coupled with the NSA means that you;re highly unlikely to meet someone who wants to get close to you on all the other levels which are important for a relationship. This will simply remain on a physical level. Perhaps (and this is just a punt) its related to a previously relationship which left you emotionally damaged and so your inner self seeks to avoid future harm by creating a barrier. Although you know what you crave, part of you doesn't want the risk?
So, you exist, emotionally, mentally in a conflicted state of mind between what you consciously want and what, subconsciously, you;re allowing yourself to experience. Perhaps a course of self-taught Cognitive Behavioural Therapy may provide some benefit - allow you to reason out within yourself the factors which are driving this conflict and allow you to resolve them and to move forward?
As I said, it was just a punt on an idea. Whatever you decide, OP, Good luck."
My thoughts too.
As punts go, I'd suggest you're not a million miles shy of the mark. |
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By *r jblMan
over a year ago
from parts unknown |
You are who you are.
You want what you want.
Your the only person who can change how you feel.
No need to rush into anything. The right person will come along.
Looking at your picture, you got time on your side.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Too many really helpful comments to reply individual to each one, but I do appreciate it and it all goes in.
In 2011 I met a guy off a dating site, didn't engage in any sexy talk didn't exchange rude pictures or anything. Went on about 8 dates over the course of 6 weeks, one weekend I asked him if he wanted to just stay in mine and have food and watch a film (code for shagging) in bed my hand brushed his fully erect penis and it was tiny, I tried to get past it and thought I'd give it a bit of wank like see if it grew any more but it didn't, it was fully hard and throbbing but felt like a was holding one of those nik nak crisps. It's scarred me, I ended up telling him I couldn't do it didn't feel ready and he was kind but thought I was frigid ha as if! I didn't meet him again after that but still wasted 6 weeks doing the conventional dating thing. It was after that that I started asking for penis pictures and if their thighs were too muscly to gauge the size accurately I'd ask for pictures with objects in.
My friends have asked why the fascination with big dicks and I tell them it's nothing to do with penetration it's the holding them it's giving them a fuss, I like the penis to be the length of my whole face, like having balls under my chin and bell end tickling my eyes and eyebrows. When spooning the dick needs to be big enough than it can go between my thighs and I have enough there to wank it and pretend I have my own penis.
I'll try having a conventional date but I know I'll just feel like I'm wasting my time until I know for sure what he's packing. Yeah I could just cut all contact after dates and I feel his penis doesn't suffice but then I've done that before and the guy was messaging me and asking for an explanation and said that after all the dates he was pretty upset that I didn't want to see him again and I've been hurt by enough guys myself to never ever want to make someone feel bad because of my actions.
It's a tough one because I am willing to give people a chance but I don't want to ever dump anyone or make anyone have any horrible feelings. My way of protecting the guy was making sure he had everything I liked before i began to think about dating him. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
My friends have asked why the fascination with big dicks and I tell them it's nothing to do with penetration it's the holding them it's giving them a fuss, I like the penis to be the length of my whole face, like having balls under my chin and bell end tickling my eyes and eyebrows. When spooning the dick needs to be big enough than it can go between my thighs and I have enough there to wank it and pretend I have my own penis.
"
If this really is your bottom line then carry on as you are. No relationship will survive if this is your absolute bottom line.
And off on a tangent, you've given lots of men and maybe some women some wank fodder now.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Too many really helpful comments to reply individual to each one, but I do appreciate it and it all goes in.
In 2011 I met a guy off a dating site, didn't engage in any sexy talk didn't exchange rude pictures or anything. Went on about 8 dates over the course of 6 weeks, one weekend I asked him if he wanted to just stay in mine and have food and watch a film (code for shagging) in bed my hand brushed his fully erect penis and it was tiny, I tried to get past it and thought I'd give it a bit of wank like see if it grew any more but it didn't, it was fully hard and throbbing but felt like a was holding one of those nik nak crisps. It's scarred me, I ended up telling him I couldn't do it didn't feel ready and he was kind but thought I was frigid ha as if! I didn't meet him again after that but still wasted 6 weeks doing that
"
He wasted time on you, and you wonder why your single
|
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"If they look attractive, meet 'em. If they're interesting, find out about their parts after a few dates and if they're not up to requirements, move on.
What have you got to lose? You might get some fun dates out of it, even if they end up not ticking all your boxes.
And you may surprise yourself and find that someone you wouldn't have considered, or who may have been put off by you requesting a cock pic, turns out to be your perfect match."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have to say I'd run a mile if I got this request on a standard dating site. I can't help feeling the blokes happy to send you such a pic won't make good boyfriend material either... "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
OP, you seem more interested in a guys cock than him. You don't date a cock (although I have on a couple of occasions!!) you date the guy its attached to. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
I understand where you're coming from but I would feel very objectified if a guy would only want to go out with me if I had a certain size breasts.Therefore whether I had the right ones or not I would not be interested in going out with that guy. |
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"The thread about needing to see a silly picture before a meet I wrote a big fuck off paragraph hoping for some insight and advice but nothing so I've copy and pasted my reply here. It is a genuine pisses me off so much problem so would appreciate thoughts.
Yes and I think that's where I've been going wrong the last 6 years of dating.
I need to get it out of my head that penis size is the be all and end all, I'm 32 next month for fuck sake, time isn't on my side and my looks will fade.
Whenever I've met a guy to date off a dating site I'll request a penis picture and that automatically sets the tone. They then see me as someone who's only interested in shagging and therefore put me in the chuck and fuck category.
I desperately want a boyfriend, I'm fulfilled and lucky to have lots of friends and good family but a boyfriend would fill a different void.
I seriously seriously have a problem. I can't just date a guy and get to know him and develop bonds and feelings, I have it in my head that he MUST HAVE a good looking face MUST be over 6ft MUST have a penis bigger than 7" with decent girth. Without those things and without seeing that he has those things I won't even consider meeting then or dating them.
How do I stop being like this it's pathetic. "
Honestly? I don't think this is something we can help you with its a control thing. You have set up in your mind that certain criteria must be met or something will go wrong. Are you like this in other areas of your life do you have to perform certain actions before you can go out for instance? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What I'm about to say has no malicious intent. You had no acknowledgement. Now you begin to have insight to what some men go through on here. Yes it's gut wrenching. Only if you allow it to be.
Huh?
People reply to posts made by men too and plenty of posts by women are overlooked or not replied to.
You make it sound as though men are always ignored on here. That's clearly not the case.
Men in couples have more success than single men but we digress.
We're talking about getting responses to forum posts, not responses to private messages or meets!
Athena was on about being disappointed about not getting replies to a post."
Them's the breaks.... |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Too many really helpful comments to reply individual to each one, but I do appreciate it and it all goes in.
In 2011 I met a guy off a dating site, didn't engage in any sexy talk didn't exchange rude pictures or anything. Went on about 8 dates over the course of 6 weeks, one weekend I asked him if he wanted to just stay in mine and have food and watch a film (code for shagging) in bed my hand brushed his fully erect penis and it was tiny, I tried to get past it and thought I'd give it a bit of wank like see if it grew any more but it didn't, it was fully hard and throbbing but felt like a was holding one of those nik nak crisps. It's scarred me, I ended up telling him I couldn't do it didn't feel ready and he was kind but thought I was frigid ha as if! I didn't meet him again after that but still wasted 6 weeks doing that
He wasted time on you, and you wonder why your single
"
So out of curioisty, would you stick with someone who had a nik nak sized cock? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Too many really helpful comments to reply individual to each one, but I do appreciate it and it all goes in.
In 2011 I met a guy off a dating site, didn't engage in any sexy talk didn't exchange rude pictures or anything. Went on about 8 dates over the course of 6 weeks, one weekend I asked him if he wanted to just stay in mine and have food and watch a film (code for shagging) in bed my hand brushed his fully erect penis and it was tiny, I tried to get past it and thought I'd give it a bit of wank like see if it grew any more but it didn't, it was fully hard and throbbing but felt like a was holding one of those nik nak crisps. It's scarred me, I ended up telling him I couldn't do it didn't feel ready and he was kind but thought I was frigid ha as if! I didn't meet him again after that but still wasted 6 weeks doing that
He wasted time on you, and you wonder why your single
So out of curioisty, would you stick with someone who had a nik nak sized cock? "
Was it a nice and spicy one? |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Too many really helpful comments to reply individual to each one, but I do appreciate it and it all goes in.
In 2011 I met a guy off a dating site, didn't engage in any sexy talk didn't exchange rude pictures or anything. Went on about 8 dates over the course of 6 weeks, one weekend I asked him if he wanted to just stay in mine and have food and watch a film (code for shagging) in bed my hand brushed his fully erect penis and it was tiny, I tried to get past it and thought I'd give it a bit of wank like see if it grew any more but it didn't, it was fully hard and throbbing but felt like a was holding one of those nik nak crisps. It's scarred me, I ended up telling him I couldn't do it didn't feel ready and he was kind but thought I was frigid ha as if! I didn't meet him again after that but still wasted 6 weeks doing the conventional dating thing. It was after that that I started asking for penis pictures and if their thighs were too muscly to gauge the size accurately I'd ask for pictures with objects in.
My friends have asked why the fascination with big dicks and I tell them it's nothing to do with penetration it's the holding them it's giving them a fuss, I like the penis to be the length of my whole face, like having balls under my chin and bell end tickling my eyes and eyebrows. When spooning the dick needs to be big enough than it can go between my thighs and I have enough there to wank it and pretend I have my own penis.
I'll try having a conventional date but I know I'll just feel like I'm wasting my time until I know for sure what he's packing. Yeah I could just cut all contact after dates and I feel his penis doesn't suffice but then I've done that before and the guy was messaging me and asking for an explanation and said that after all the dates he was pretty upset that I didn't want to see him again and I've been hurt by enough guys myself to never ever want to make someone feel bad because of my actions.
It's a tough one because I am willing to give people a chance but I don't want to ever dump anyone or make anyone have any horrible feelings. My way of protecting the guy was making sure he had everything I liked before i began to think about dating him. "
You don't need to exclusively date one guy at a time. Just tell them you're seeing other people. That way you won't feel you've "wasted" weeks at a time.
Of course, maybe it would be better to "waste" some weeks rather than be single for a lot more years. That's rather a lot of wasted weeks.
You can't help but let people down sometimes. Better that than put off the potentially good prospects before you've even started. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Too many really helpful comments to reply individual to each one, but I do appreciate it and it all goes in.
In 2011 I met a guy off a dating site, didn't engage in any sexy talk didn't exchange rude pictures or anything. Went on about 8 dates over the course of 6 weeks, one weekend I asked him if he wanted to just stay in mine and have food and watch a film (code for shagging) in bed my hand brushed his fully erect penis and it was tiny, I tried to get past it and thought I'd give it a bit of wank like see if it grew any more but it didn't, it was fully hard and throbbing but felt like a was holding one of those nik nak crisps. It's scarred me, I ended up telling him I couldn't do it didn't feel ready and he was kind but thought I was frigid ha as if! I didn't meet him again after that but still wasted 6 weeks doing the conventional dating thing. It was after that that I started asking for penis pictures and if their thighs were too muscly to gauge the size accurately I'd ask for pictures with objects in.
My friends have asked why the fascination with big dicks and I tell them it's nothing to do with penetration it's the holding them it's giving them a fuss, I like the penis to be the length of my whole face, like having balls under my chin and bell end tickling my eyes and eyebrows. When spooning the dick needs to be big enough than it can go between my thighs and I have enough there to wank it and pretend I have my own penis.
I'll try having a conventional date but I know I'll just feel like I'm wasting my time until I know for sure what he's packing. Yeah I could just cut all contact after dates and I feel his penis doesn't suffice but then I've done that before and the guy was messaging me and asking for an explanation and said that after all the dates he was pretty upset that I didn't want to see him again and I've been hurt by enough guys myself to never ever want to make someone feel bad because of my actions.
It's a tough one because I am willing to give people a chance but I don't want to ever dump anyone or make anyone have any horrible feelings. My way of protecting the guy was making sure he had everything I liked before i began to think about dating him.
You don't need to exclusively date one guy at a time. Just tell them you're seeing other people. That way you won't feel you've "wasted" weeks at a time.
Of course, maybe it would be better to "waste" some weeks rather than be single for a lot more years. That's rather a lot of wasted weeks.
You can't help but let people down sometimes. Better that than put off the potentially good prospects before you've even started."
Bugger it, I'll go on some dates, can't remember my login details on pof now though, maybe start by turning my message filters off on here but say I'm only looking for people open to the idea of a relationship. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Too many really helpful comments to reply individual to each one, but I do appreciate it and it all goes in.
In 2011 I met a guy off a dating site, didn't engage in any sexy talk didn't exchange rude pictures or anything. Went on about 8 dates over the course of 6 weeks, one weekend I asked him if he wanted to just stay in mine and have food and watch a film (code for shagging) in bed my hand brushed his fully erect penis and it was tiny, I tried to get past it and thought I'd give it a bit of wank like see if it grew any more but it didn't, it was fully hard and throbbing but felt like a was holding one of those nik nak crisps. It's scarred me, I ended up telling him I couldn't do it didn't feel ready and he was kind but thought I was frigid ha as if! I didn't meet him again after that but still wasted 6 weeks doing the conventional dating thing. It was after that that I started asking for penis pictures and if their thighs were too muscly to gauge the size accurately I'd ask for pictures with objects in.
My friends have asked why the fascination with big dicks and I tell them it's nothing to do with penetration it's the holding them it's giving them a fuss, I like the penis to be the length of my whole face, like having balls under my chin and bell end tickling my eyes and eyebrows. When spooning the dick needs to be big enough than it can go between my thighs and I have enough there to wank it and pretend I have my own penis.
I'll try having a conventional date but I know I'll just feel like I'm wasting my time until I know for sure what he's packing. Yeah I could just cut all contact after dates and I feel his penis doesn't suffice but then I've done that before and the guy was messaging me and asking for an explanation and said that after all the dates he was pretty upset that I didn't want to see him again and I've been hurt by enough guys myself to never ever want to make someone feel bad because of my actions.
It's a tough one because I am willing to give people a chance but I don't want to ever dump anyone or make anyone have any horrible feelings. My way of protecting the guy was making sure he had everything I liked before i began to think about dating him.
You don't need to exclusively date one guy at a time. Just tell them you're seeing other people. That way you won't feel you've "wasted" weeks at a time.
Of course, maybe it would be better to "waste" some weeks rather than be single for a lot more years. That's rather a lot of wasted weeks.
You can't help but let people down sometimes. Better that than put off the potentially good prospects before you've even started.
Bugger it, I'll go on some dates, can't remember my login details on pof now though, maybe start by turning my message filters off on here but say I'm only looking for people open to the idea of a relationship. "
At least on here you can see their cock pictures. |
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I think it's an issue a lot of women (and people in general) go through here on fabs and in different ways.
It might be more of a problem for some single women or people who are exceptionally popular on this site as they can pick what they want to every preference they desire and that person, in their mind, is the ideal.
Sadly, just because they look the part doesn't mean they are. It's a very bad assumption to make, and it's made quite frequently, that you are that person's ideal or that they have the same desires in mind. But it's easy to lose sight of that when you're approached by so many would-be suitors.
As someone has already pointed out, physical attraction only goes so far and as the OP highlight: looks will fade. What happens when a man has a medical condition where is sexual performance is hindered or he goes through a depression after redundancy and has no desire for sex? If sex is the sole foundation for your relationships, you'll struggle to find stability.
Also OP, you get what you look for. If you're only interested in their cock then they'll be only interested in your pussy but you set that tone.
As it was suggest, you need to take a deep look at yourself, seek counselling maybe. I wish you luck. |
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