FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > To all the hardened fabbers...
To all the hardened fabbers...
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
How do you cope with the lies on this site, even from friends that you have met..?
Or another way of asking the same question, how do you detach yourself emotionally from friends you have met..?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Same as in real life, your friends stand by you in times of trouble it doesn't matter where you met them.
Emotionally detach? Do not speak to them again and time heals all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you cope with the lies on this site, even from friends that you have met..?
Or another way of asking the same question, how do you detach yourself emotionally from friends you have met..? "
Why lie?
So before it takes half a thread for you to slowly drip feed us the information on the event that lead you to this point and it invalidates have the posts because they assumed wrong can we just skip ahead and you tell us what happened. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"How do you cope with the lies on this site, even from friends that you have met..?
Or another way of asking the same question, how do you detach yourself emotionally from friends you have met..?
Why lie?
So before it takes half a thread for you to slowly drip feed us the information on the event that lead you to this point and it invalidates have the posts because they assumed wrong can we just skip ahead and you tell us what happened."
Now where's the fun in that?  Let's all just turn our backs and count to 100 and the OP can give us another clue.
Really, it's the fab way. You know that by now, shirley? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"How do you cope with the lies on this site, even from friends that you have met..?
Or another way of asking the same question, how do you detach yourself emotionally from friends you have met..?
Why lie?
So before it takes half a thread for you to slowly drip feed us the information on the event that lead you to this point and it invalidates have the posts because they assumed wrong can we just skip ahead and you tell us what happened."
Forget it, there is no ulterior motive, and I only mentions this site because that's where its happened, I love the site. Why are some people so suspicious and so bloody up their own arses..? Its no wonder the numbers in the forums I dropping, it took one message for you to jump on my case..? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you cope with the lies on this site, even from friends that you have met..?
Or another way of asking the same question, how do you detach yourself emotionally from friends you have met..?
Why lie?
So before it takes half a thread for you to slowly drip feed us the information on the event that lead you to this point and it invalidates have the posts because they assumed wrong can we just skip ahead and you tell us what happened.
Now where's the fun in that? Let's all just turn our backs and count to 100 and the OP can give us another clue.
Really, it's the fab way. You know that by now, shirley?"
I'm forever the optimist, heck worst comes to worse my pessimistic side gets to say I told you so to myself.
And don't call me Shirley :p |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you cope with the lies on this site, even from friends that you have met..?
Or another way of asking the same question, how do you detach yourself emotionally from friends you have met..?
Why lie?
So before it takes half a thread for you to slowly drip feed us the information on the event that lead you to this point and it invalidates have the posts because they assumed wrong can we just skip ahead and you tell us what happened.
Forget it, there is no ulterior motive, and I only mentions this site because that's where its happened, I love the site. Why are some people so suspicious and so bloody up their own arses..? Its no wonder the numbers in the forums I dropping, it took one message for you to jump on my case..? "
What suspicious were asking what happened on the site (which you jist said something did happen)
It's called context without it this kind of line of questioning feom you is rather pointless. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"How do you cope with the lies on this site, even from friends that you have met..?
Or another way of asking the same question, how do you detach yourself emotionally from friends you have met..?
Why lie?
So before it takes half a thread for you to slowly drip feed us the information on the event that lead you to this point and it invalidates have the posts because they assumed wrong can we just skip ahead and you tell us what happened.
Now where's the fun in that? Let's all just turn our backs and count to 100 and the OP can give us another clue.
Really, it's the fab way. You know that by now, shirley?
I'm forever the optimist, heck worst comes to worse my pessimistic side gets to say I told you so to myself.
And don't call me Shirley :p"
Ok Beryl  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I understand where the OP is coming from. I've met a couple of guys, chatted offline, everything seems really good & suddenly they disappear. They've obviously lied to me & it really fucking hurts.
I miss them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just don't trust anyone until they prove themselves worthy of being trusted.
You don't need to keep a distance emotionally, just understand that what you're feeling is something you are building up in your head and probably doesn't relate to the other person at all and accept this.
You can know people for a lifetime and never truly know them unless they show you who they really are, that's just how life is. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"with some people the only thing you can trust them to do is to lie - "
"a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How do you cope with the lies on this site, even from friends that you have met..?
Or another way of asking the same question, how do you detach yourself emotionally from friends you have met..?
Why lie?
So before it takes half a thread for you to slowly drip feed us the information on the event that lead you to this point and it invalidates have the posts because they assumed wrong can we just skip ahead and you tell us what happened.
Forget it, there is no ulterior motive, and I only mentions this site because that's where its happened, I love the site. Why are some people so suspicious and so bloody up their own arses..? Its no wonder the numbers in the forums I dropping, it took one message for you to jump on my case..?
What suspicious were asking what happened on the site (which you jist said something did happen)
It's called context without it this kind of line of questioning feom you is rather pointless. "
Why do you need to know the ins and outs of what has happened. He asked how you deal with people on here that lie. His experience has no bearing on the way you deal With that does it?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I tend to find the folk I end up being friends with from here are pretty honest and open, I even have a few as Facebook friends. But then I do chat and message people a lot and rely on my instincts too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you cope with the lies on this site, even from friends that you have met..?
Or another way of asking the same question, how do you detach yourself emotionally from friends you have met..? "
What kind of lie(s) are you talking about?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"How do you cope with the lies on this site, even from friends that you have met..?
Or another way of asking the same question, how do you detach yourself emotionally from friends you have met..? "
I fuck them off
I don't have to deal with anything on here that I wouldn't put up with in real life |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just don't trust anyone until they prove themselves worthy of being trusted.
You don't need to keep a distance emotionally, just understand that what you're feeling is something you are building up in your head and probably doesn't relate to the other person at all and accept this.
You can know people for a lifetime and never truly know them unless they show you who they really are, that's just how life is."
THIS |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just don't trust anyone until they prove themselves worthy of being trusted.
You don't need to keep a distance emotionally, just understand that what you're feeling is something you are building up in your head and probably doesn't relate to the other person at all and accept this.
You can know people for a lifetime and never truly know them unless they show you who they really are, that's just how life is.
And again from me!
THIS "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"with some people the only thing you can trust them to do is to lie -
"a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid""
I love that film |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Most that I end up being friends with on here seem to be pretty open and as honest as they need to be. However, people often lie to get what they want. That is true in real life as well as in the fab life. Nobody on here really gets to know the real me and I assume of others that I meet that they are only showing me the bits that they want me to see. I'm fine with that because at the end of the day I'm here for fun. If I find out something about someone that I don't like I'll stop seeing them. I guess I'm lucky in that I am able to have long term friends on here and I am able to detach myself from emotional involvement because I'm never after an emotional relationship with anyone. I have that need fully satisfied by my husband. Its hard to explain but ultimately I don't get hurt by lies on here as I don't expect people to be 100% truthful. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To be honest I find my own dishonesty more painful than that of others these days. I try not to detatch my emotions from relationships of any sort, as I found myself feeling less alive when I did. If I get hurt so be it, it's just part of life's rich tapestry. I find it easier to forgive others than forgive myself too, so that helps. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I treat Fab as a place where I can meet men for NSA one off shags. If I then get on with them enough to become friendly that's a bonus. If they then fuck me about it any form, we are no longer friends.
I don't place too much importance on my relationships here. That way lies madness!   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
You can know people for a lifetime and never truly know them unless they show you who they really are, that's just how life is."
Unfortunately it is, and even moreso over the internet. I try not to become cynical, but after 4 yrs or so doing the internet dating/meeting thing I have come to realise almost everyone lies. I cannot help my naive optimism every time I start talking to someone new, we SHOULD be able to expect people to tell the truth in my opinon, and it is a violation of expectation when they do not.
So yes, it does lead to a lot of disappointment and disillusionment, because Like the Witch Doctor I feel a life of suppressed emotion is not really living at all, so I for one won't do it. 
“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.” Nietzsche.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you cope with the lies on this site, even from friends that you have met..?
Or another way of asking the same question, how do you detach yourself emotionally from friends you have met..?
Why lie?
So before it takes half a thread for you to slowly drip feed us the information on the event that lead you to this point and it invalidates have the posts because they assumed wrong can we just skip ahead and you tell us what happened.
Forget it, there is no ulterior motive, and I only mentions this site because that's where its happened, I love the site. Why are some people so suspicious and so bloody up their own arses..? Its no wonder the numbers in the forums I dropping, it took one message for you to jump on my case..?
What suspicious were asking what happened on the site (which you jist said something did happen)
It's called context without it this kind of line of questioning feom you is rather pointless.
Why do you need to know the ins and outs of what has happened. He asked how you deal with people on here that lie. His experience has no bearing on the way you deal With that does it?
"
Because the kind of lie we're talking about radically changes the response for instance would you respond the same way to each of the following lies;
1) so turns out that for the 4 months we've been meeting she really has been turned off by my back hair but she liked me so much and knew I was insecure about it that she always told me she liked it and even played with it.
2)....and yeah so she never told me about the HIV and now I'm waiting on the test results and not having sex for 6 months.
3) she told me she only wanted to see me and no one else, but now I've found she's still meeting!
4) we said we were happy for each other to meet other people but now I have met someone else they're sending me loads of guilt trip messages about it
5) turns out her favourites colour was actually green not red.
6) and her husband wasn't really dead, and now he's stepping on my head.
context, it changes everything.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
You can know people for a lifetime and never truly know them unless they show you who they really are, that's just how life is.
Unfortunately it is, and even moreso over the internet. I try not to become cynical, but after 4 yrs or so doing the internet dating/meeting thing I have come to realise almost everyone lies. I cannot help my naive optimism every time I start talking to someone new, we SHOULD be able to expect people to tell the truth in my opinon, and it is a violation of expectation when they do not.
So yes, it does lead to a lot of disappointment and disillusionment, because Like the Witch Doctor I feel a life of suppressed emotion is not really living at all, so I for one won't do it.
“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.” Nietzsche.
"
Really it took you 4 years of Internet dating to work that out?
Not 4 minutes looking back at your own life at the multitude of times you've lied for whatever your justification? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"How do you cope with the lies on this site, even from friends that you have met..?
Or another way of asking the same question, how do you detach yourself emotionally from friends you have met..? "
Depends on what type of lies you mean?
We keep most of our private life, private. While we won't flat out lie we aren't always 100% open about everything either. We'll only share what we're comfortable with. Some people think they have the right to know everything about you.
I'd imagine quite a few others do the same.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Really it took you 4 years of Internet dating to work that out?
Not 4 minutes looking back at your own life at the multitude of times you've lied for whatever your justification?"
It's more 4 years to start to become cynical, but yes, to some extent I still refuse to totally give up on the hope that there are honest people left in this world!! So call me naive!
I used to be an accomplished liar in my youth - I was into sex and drugs and rock and roll from an early age so I chose to lie to authority figures to get away with that. But there came a point when I made a decision to simply stop, and I found it is indeed possible. It's very challenging at times, you have to find a way round some tricky situations, but perfectly possible - I managed for a stretch of over 20 years before I slipped up.
Except for ticking the box to confirm say I have read the terms and conditions - mea culpa there, I confess, I never read them!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Ok, here's the issue, I'm not overly upset by the lie itself, I'm more upset by the friend that I'm talking of was top of my list, we speak everyday and gave them the opportunity not to lie if that makes sense.
Basically she had a meet, don't know if it was sexual or social, makes no difference to me, that's why most of us are here. But in my last conversation with them they told me they had been around to there friends house and were then having an early night. So this meant she exchanged one message with me over 24 hrs when for the last two months it has been over forty a day, every day, we are close. I don't know why she has lied, I really couldn't give a monkeys about the meet, its the fact that now I will have doubts about our conversations in person or text form...  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"if you are dishonest on here its most likely you are dishonest off here too
i believe leopards don't change spots and people rarely change
"
This
I've been burnt on here recently by someone I had built up a massive amount of trust with, through time and effort given on both sides.
I think it's very easy for people to think of this as purely NSA, but not all meetings are that. For instance if you are looking to have a sub/Dom dynamic, then that obviously needs trust to be built... For that to then hit you in the face after months and months of sharing you most inner fantasies and wants with someone, is sickening.
I've been on this site for a long time and have never before been treated that way, and it has massively affected what I'm here for.   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just don't trust anyone until they prove themselves worthy of being trusted.
You don't need to keep a distance emotionally, just understand that what you're feeling is something you are building up in your head and probably doesn't relate to the other person at all and accept this.
You can know people for a lifetime and never truly know them unless they show you who they really are, that's just how life is."
So true. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
On here I trust no one. The 2 friends that I have made from here we speak lots on WhatsApp, the phone and I've met both. Trust has grown over time. As it should. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I had to just double check your age, OP......."
Can I ask why...do you think I am immature, over reacting..?
I'm not sure I should say or ask questions anymore as it seems to misleading for some people, I'm not losing sleep over it, just upset, maybe I'm to much of a newbie at this lark. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had to just double check your age, OP.......
Can I ask why...do you think I am immature, over reacting..?
I'm not sure I should say or ask questions anymore as it seems to misleading for some people, I'm not losing sleep over it, just upset, maybe I'm to much of a newbie at this lark."
Age is irrelevant. People meet different people for different things. Some people I'm quite happy to have a quick fuck and leave. Others I'm looking for a more intense fuck fest with. There's no need to lie on a site like this. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had to just double check your age, OP.......
Can I ask why...do you think I am immature, over reacting..?
I'm not sure I should say or ask questions anymore as it seems to misleading for some people, I'm not losing sleep over it, just upset, maybe I'm to much of a newbie at this lark."
Because it seems to have upset you a hell of a lot. Sometimes I don't tell everyone I'm chatting to that I am meeting someone else. It's none of their business who I meet and when - I often just say I'm going out especially if I feel that a guy is going to get upset that I am with someone else. Maybe she picked up on that vibe from you? She obviously felt that she couldn't tell you the truth, otherwise why lie about something so trivial. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't care if people lie to me on here. I'm not getting close enough to anyone for lies to make a difference. I shrug them off and put it down to experience. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok, here's the issue, I'm not overly upset by the lie itself, I'm more upset by the friend that I'm talking of was top of my list, we speak everyday and gave them the opportunity not to lie if that makes sense.
Basically she had a meet, don't know if it was sexual or social, makes no difference to me, that's why most of us are here. But in my last conversation with them they told me they had been around to there friends house and were then having an early night. So this meant she exchanged one message with me over 24 hrs when for the last two months it has been over forty a day, every day, we are close. I don't know why she has lied, I really couldn't give a monkeys about the meet, its the fact that now I will have doubts about our conversations in person or text form... "
See I told you we'd get the actual story half way through the thread that invalidates half the other posts.
Dude she was just trying to avoid drama and spare your feelings and clearly she had a point.
Something in the way you've acted has made ther think "if he knows I've gone for a meet hell get upset" so she's just said she's gone to a friends as it's easier.
That's view one
View two, it's her private life maybe she doesn't want you knowing she's meeting so prefers to just tell you she's going to a friends house as she wants to keep it separate
View three.
She's not really lied she met with a friend just a friend from fabs. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On here I trust no one. The 2 friends that I have made from here we speak lots on WhatsApp, the phone and I've met both. Trust has grown over time. As it should."
"I trust no one from here....well except these two people from here"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I had to just double check your age, OP.......
Can I ask why...do you think I am immature, over reacting..?
I'm not sure I should say or ask questions anymore as it seems to misleading for some people, I'm not losing sleep over it, just upset, maybe I'm to much of a newbie at this lark.
Because it seems to have upset you a hell of a lot. Sometimes I don't tell everyone I'm chatting to that I am meeting someone else. It's none of their business who I meet and when - I often just say I'm going out especially if I feel that a guy is going to get upset that I am with someone else. Maybe she picked up on that vibe from you? She obviously felt that she couldn't tell you the truth, otherwise why lie about something so trivial."
Aha, so its my fault..? Bugger I knew I missed a point along the way. Can I just say that I'm sure I pointed out the fact that I'm not upset about the meet. Each day we chat, sometime for hours, we both come on here first thing in the morning to say hello, hope you slept well etc, m upset that she didn't tell me she wasn't going to be on at all and then lied about why she wasn't on, I was worried about her. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had to just double check your age, OP.......
Can I ask why...do you think I am immature, over reacting..?
I'm not sure I should say or ask questions anymore as it seems to misleading for some people, I'm not losing sleep over it, just upset, maybe I'm to much of a newbie at this lark.
Because it seems to have upset you a hell of a lot. Sometimes I don't tell everyone I'm chatting to that I am meeting someone else. It's none of their business who I meet and when - I often just say I'm going out especially if I feel that a guy is going to get upset that I am with someone else. Maybe she picked up on that vibe from you? She obviously felt that she couldn't tell you the truth, otherwise why lie about something so trivial.
Aha, so its my fault..? Bugger I knew I missed a point along the way. Can I just say that I'm sure I pointed out the fact that I'm not upset about the meet. Each day we chat, sometime for hours, we both come on here first thing in the morning to say hello, hope you slept well etc, m upset that she didn't tell me she wasn't going to be on at all and then lied about why she wasn't on, I was worried about her."
You sound a bit clingy tbh.
Do you message everyone you chat to when you have a meet?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had to just double check your age, OP.......
Can I ask why...do you think I am immature, over reacting..?
I'm not sure I should say or ask questions anymore as it seems to misleading for some people, I'm not losing sleep over it, just upset, maybe I'm to much of a newbie at this lark.
Because it seems to have upset you a hell of a lot. Sometimes I don't tell everyone I'm chatting to that I am meeting someone else. It's none of their business who I meet and when - I often just say I'm going out especially if I feel that a guy is going to get upset that I am with someone else. Maybe she picked up on that vibe from you? She obviously felt that she couldn't tell you the truth, otherwise why lie about something so trivial.
Aha, so its my fault..? Bugger I knew I missed a point along the way. Can I just say that I'm sure I pointed out the fact that I'm not upset about the meet. Each day we chat, sometime for hours, we both come on here first thing in the morning to say hello, hope you slept well etc, m upset that she didn't tell me she wasn't going to be on at all and then lied about why she wasn't on, I was worried about her."
OP ask yourself this question ~ why did she lie ? and I think if you're honest with yourself you will probably know the answer...... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
She could have been trying to spare your feelings. Not knowing what you spoke about daily makes it difficult to know what your relationship was but she felt she couldn't tell you for a reason. Do you ask her personal questions? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"I had to just double check your age, OP.......
Can I ask why...do you think I am immature, over reacting..?
I'm not sure I should say or ask questions anymore as it seems to misleading for some people, I'm not losing sleep over it, just upset, maybe I'm to much of a newbie at this lark.
Because it seems to have upset you a hell of a lot. Sometimes I don't tell everyone I'm chatting to that I am meeting someone else. It's none of their business who I meet and when - I often just say I'm going out especially if I feel that a guy is going to get upset that I am with someone else. Maybe she picked up on that vibe from you? She obviously felt that she couldn't tell you the truth, otherwise why lie about something so trivial.
Aha, so its my fault..? Bugger I knew I missed a point along the way. Can I just say that I'm sure I pointed out the fact that I'm not upset about the meet. Each day we chat, sometime for hours, we both come on here first thing in the morning to say hello, hope you slept well etc, m upset that she didn't tell me she wasn't going to be on at all and then lied about why she wasn't on, I was worried about her."
Personally I'd find this far too clingy.
Your upset that she didn't tell you, she wouldn't be online at all for one day? Why should she need too? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On here I trust no one. The 2 friends that I have made from here we speak lots on WhatsApp, the phone and I've met both. Trust has grown over time. As it should.
"I trust no one from here....well except these two people from here"
"
If your gonna quote me, quote me accurately. I said On here I trust no one. I speak to a few people on here only. I take them as fellow fabbers. Made 2 very good friends with whom I've taken things off fab. Neither of them are active fabbers anymore. And trust as grown over time. Which was my point really. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Aha, so its my fault..? Bugger I knew I missed a point along the way. Can I just say that I'm sure I pointed out the fact that I'm not upset about the meet. Each day we chat, sometime for hours, we both come on here first thing in the morning to say hello, hope you slept well etc, m upset that she didn't tell me she wasn't going to be on at all and then lied about why she wasn't on, I was worried about her."
Have you actually met much? People you are just getting to know can do something like this out of a concern for you - even if that concern is unwarranted, especially if you are close and feelings going beyond nsa, where further down the line they might realise it is unnecessary, in fact counter productive. If it is someone you really get on with I would give them the benefit of the doubt, forgive it, and simply discuss what you are going to tell each other about meets in future. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How do you cope with the lies on this site, even from friends that you have met..?
Or another way of asking the same question, how do you detach yourself emotionally from friends you have met..? "
Tell um to piss off and leave you alone
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you cope with the lies on this site, even from friends that you have met..?
Or another way of asking the same question, how do you detach yourself emotionally from friends you have met..?
Tell um to piss off and leave you alone
"
That's the problem they did:p |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On here I trust no one. The 2 friends that I have made from here we speak lots on WhatsApp, the phone and I've met both. Trust has grown over time. As it should.
"I trust no one from here....well except these two people from here"
If your gonna quote me, quote me accurately. I said On here I trust no one. I speak to a few people on here only. I take them as fellow fabbers. Made 2 very good friends with whom I've taken things off fab. Neither of them are active fabbers anymore. And trust as grown over time. Which was my point really."
That wa s accurate thw fact your now choosing to say they're no longer "active" doesn't really change much.. you trust noone from here except the people you trust.
It tickles me when people speak in absolutes then contradict themselves instantly.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I had to just double check your age, OP.......
Can I ask why...do you think I am immature, over reacting..?
I'm not sure I should say or ask questions anymore as it seems to misleading for some people, I'm not losing sleep over it, just upset, maybe I'm to much of a newbie at this lark.
Because it seems to have upset you a hell of a lot. Sometimes I don't tell everyone I'm chatting to that I am meeting someone else. It's none of their business who I meet and when - I often just say I'm going out especially if I feel that a guy is going to get upset that I am with someone else. Maybe she picked up on that vibe from you? She obviously felt that she couldn't tell you the truth, otherwise why lie about something so trivial.
Aha, so its my fault..? Bugger I knew I missed a point along the way. Can I just say that I'm sure I pointed out the fact that I'm not upset about the meet. Each day we chat, sometime for hours, we both come on here first thing in the morning to say hello, hope you slept well etc, m upset that she didn't tell me she wasn't going to be on at all and then lied about why she wasn't on, I was worried about her.
You sound a bit clingy tbh.
Do you message everyone you chat to when you have a meet?
"
Nope, she started messaging me, I don't message anyone else more than once a week if that much. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had to just double check your age, OP.......
Can I ask why...do you think I am immature, over reacting..?
I'm not sure I should say or ask questions anymore as it seems to misleading for some people, I'm not losing sleep over it, just upset, maybe I'm to much of a newbie at this lark.
Because it seems to have upset you a hell of a lot. Sometimes I don't tell everyone I'm chatting to that I am meeting someone else. It's none of their business who I meet and when - I often just say I'm going out especially if I feel that a guy is going to get upset that I am with someone else. Maybe she picked up on that vibe from you? She obviously felt that she couldn't tell you the truth, otherwise why lie about something so trivial.
Aha, so its my fault..? Bugger I knew I missed a point along the way. Can I just say that I'm sure I pointed out the fact that I'm not upset about the meet. Each day we chat, sometime for hours, we both come on here first thing in the morning to say hello, hope you slept well etc, m upset that she didn't tell me she wasn't going to be on at all and then lied about why she wasn't on, I was worried about her.
You sound a bit clingy tbh.
Do you message everyone you chat to when you have a meet?
Nope, she started messaging me, I don't message anyone else more than once a week if that much."
So you don't message people when you go for a meet but are annoyed this person didn't tell you they were going for a meet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I haven't read the response so far. I apologise for any duplication of thoughts.
We only know what people tell us. We choose how much we trust. That choice might be coloured by what we have previously experienced, a gut feeling or just being overly protective or trusting.
I choose to trust that people tell me the truth as they want me to know it. If my spidey senses feel uncomfortable with that then I back away.
If someone has agreed to not lie to me and then I discover their lie then I feel justified enough to give them a bloody hard time about it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I had to just double check your age, OP.......
Can I ask why...do you think I am immature, over reacting..?
I'm not sure I should say or ask questions anymore as it seems to misleading for some people, I'm not losing sleep over it, just upset, maybe I'm to much of a newbie at this lark.
Because it seems to have upset you a hell of a lot. Sometimes I don't tell everyone I'm chatting to that I am meeting someone else. It's none of their business who I meet and when - I often just say I'm going out especially if I feel that a guy is going to get upset that I am with someone else. Maybe she picked up on that vibe from you? She obviously felt that she couldn't tell you the truth, otherwise why lie about something so trivial.
Aha, so its my fault..? Bugger I knew I missed a point along the way. Can I just say that I'm sure I pointed out the fact that I'm not upset about the meet. Each day we chat, sometime for hours, we both come on here first thing in the morning to say hello, hope you slept well etc, m upset that she didn't tell me she wasn't going to be on at all and then lied about why she wasn't on, I was worried about her.
You sound a bit clingy tbh.
Do you message everyone you chat to when you have a meet?
Nope, she started messaging me, I don't message anyone else more than once a week if that much.
So you don't message people when you go for a meet but are annoyed this person didn't tell you they were going for a meet."
Sorry, of course if I'm going for a meet I would message, what I'm saying is..fuck it, lol.. Thanks for the advice, positive or negative, its all helped, so thankyou.all...xxxxxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I understand where the OP is coming from. I've met a couple of guys, chatted offline, everything seems really good & suddenly they disappear. They've obviously lied to me & it really fucking hurts.
I miss them."
Don't get so attached |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Ok, here's the issue, I'm not overly upset by the lie itself, I'm more upset by the friend that I'm talking of was top of my list, we speak everyday and gave them the opportunity not to lie if that makes sense.
Basically she had a meet, don't know if it was sexual or social, makes no difference to me, that's why most of us are here. But in my last conversation with them they told me they had been around to there friends house and were then having an early night. So this meant she exchanged one message with me over 24 hrs when for the last two months it has been over forty a day, every day, we are close. I don't know why she has lied, I really couldn't give a monkeys about the meet, its the fact that now I will have doubts about our conversations in person or text form... "
Forty messages a day? Had you met?
Yes you can build an intense relationship with someone with that level of messaging but when she said meeting a friend and an early night the two things can relate to one meet with someone she knows well.
Did you feel you had an exclusive relationship, albeit in message form?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you cope with the lies on this site, even from friends that you have met..?
Or another way of asking the same question, how do you detach yourself emotionally from friends you have met..? "
Are they friends or are they just a shag? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Have you asked her? There might be a valid reason and once you know what it is, you can either work it out between you or move on.
It's easy to get caught up in it all, but there's no harm in keeping your spidey senses on call. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Very rarely post but feel I have to add my thoughts ,is the lie list for real ? it comes across your more worried about back hair and that she lied about her whereabouts than potentially having HIV ?. Maybe as others have said she felt uncomfortable that perhaps you were quite intense with the "relationship".However if she is HIV positive then surely she should be letting potential partners know?even if her viral load is undetectable ( not that im a expert on HIV ). Regarding the woman in question block and report.And ignore all texts calls etc .I hope you get the results that give you peace of mind . Anna |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Very rarely post but feel I have to add my thoughts ,is the lie list for real ? it comes across your more worried about back hair and that she lied about her whereabouts than potentially having HIV ?. Maybe as others have said she felt uncomfortable that perhaps you were quite intense with the "relationship".However if she is HIV positive then surely she should be letting potential partners know?even if her viral load is undetectable ( not that im a expert on HIV ). Regarding the woman in question block and report.And ignore all texts calls etc .I hope you get the results that give you peace of mind . Anna "
The lie list was posted by someone responding to the OP setting out the different types of lie people might give you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Very rarely post but feel I have to add my thoughts ,is the lie list for real ? it comes across your more worried about back hair and that she lied about her whereabouts than potentially having HIV ?. Maybe as others have said she felt uncomfortable that perhaps you were quite intense with the "relationship".However if she is HIV positive then surely she should be letting potential partners know?even if her viral load is undetectable ( not that im a expert on HIV ). Regarding the woman in question block and report.And ignore all texts calls etc .I hope you get the results that give you peace of mind . Anna "
I seriously worry about the level of English comprehension on here at times...
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you cope with the lies on this site, even from friends that you have met..?
Or another way of asking the same question, how do you detach yourself emotionally from friends you have met..? "
Human nature my friend, Prozac does the deal for me, I couldn't give a fuck  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't get emotionally attached to people on here. This is my secret life and I keep it very separate from my real life.
I have people on my friends list whom I enjoy meeting up with at parties but I don't mix swinging friends with real friends. Therefore I don't really care what people say, I don't need to know their profession or their family life etc. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I understand where the OP is coming from. I've met a couple of guys, chatted offline, everything seems really good & suddenly they disappear. They've obviously lied to me & it really fucking hurts.
I miss them."
We all have lives some times things happen and have no time don't meen your lieing just don't want to air problems |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't get emotionally attached to people on here. This is my secret life and I keep it very separate from my real life.
I have people on my friends list whom I enjoy meeting up with at parties but I don't mix swinging friends with real friends. Therefore I don't really care what people say, I don't need to know their profession or their family life etc. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I tend to do one off meets saves any complications or problems "
Same..but with a couple of playmates who satisfy my other kinks when I feel like partaking in them x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
People lie, friends on here lie, friends outside of here, they lie too. People say they want to meet, then they dont even continue talking to you anymore.
Im a liar too, its in all of us. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
