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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Share your top Fab tips with us?
Top Tip:
Delete messages from your sent box, as you send them; that way you won't need to check back on their status  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Share your top Fab tips with us?
Top Tip:
Delete messages from your sent box, as you send them; that way you won't need to check back on their status "
I never check the status of sent messages. Once it's sent it's sent. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Share your top Fab tips with us?
Top Tip:
Delete messages from your sent box, as you send them; that way you won't need to check back on their status
I never check the status of sent messages. Once it's sent it's sent."
Is that your Top Tip? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dont waist thousands of pounds buying a private registration plate for your car just change your name by deed pole to the required plate .
Mr HX345JPS , Manchester |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fun size mars bars make ideal regular size mars bars for dwarfs
haha i like it...think ya funny...fancy a shag  "
And I thought ' one liners ' did nt get you anywhere lol
Sounds like a good offer to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ooooo i can escape from anywhere me. 
You aint fake so you stay out of this lol
oh a bit of empathy pleez, we all feel a little fakey some days."
Not really into feeling fakey , I like to keep it real. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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top tip for single guys, never give up if you don't get an answer to your messages keep trying, 100 a day to the same person, their only playing hard to get so keep it going  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"top tip for single guys, never give up if you don't get an answer to your messages keep trying, 100 a day to the same person, their only playing hard to get so keep it going "
That made me chuckle. |
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"never trust _unky monkey he,s a last post thief the bastard
Hehehehe you wouldn't believe what it cost me to get a mod to close it down.
Let's just say I'll be working funny for a few weeks.  "
I think you guessed I meant 'walking' funny - I do also work funny but that's another matter involving a final warning |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" top tip to much monkey is bad for you , lol x
LOL point taken x "
we love monkey just make me lololol and my dogs and cleaners think i am going mad here in the office ,, lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Single guys when messaging couples and single women just send a nudger pic and the message "when do you want it" that way you will save loads of time and get to message them all in a week.
Up stairs for thinking down stairs for humping |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Eradicate bird flu easily by adding a few drops of lemsip to bird baths - use night nurse for owls."
or allternatively cut out the risk of swine flu by building a barricade around sunderland! |
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"Eradicate bird flu easily by adding a few drops of lemsip to bird baths - use night nurse for owls.
or allternatively cut out the risk of swine flu by building a barricade around sunderland!"
Oiiiii! You were my favourite couple until then!
Sunderland supporter here, however, I do agree The Bridges is a frightening place to visit.
---------------
top tip:
Experience for yourself what it feels like to be in jail by closing one eye and holding a fork close up to the open one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Top Tip:
MOTORISTS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If you want your scrotum to look like a small but stylish, brown corduroy bag answer the phone to your mum nine minutes after applying Veet to your balls!!!  |
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To single guys.
First off remember the definition of swinging. Swinger = a woman or couple who will fuck anything.
Never fully read the profile of the person you are messaging. It only has boring stuff like their likes, dislikes, age of people they wish to meet etc. So what if you are out of their age range? They will make an exception for you so why waste time reading their profile? Naturally having a quick perv of the woman’s pictures is a must do. Looking at the woman’s pictures is much more fun then reading some boring profile. If it is a couple’s profile ignore his pictures. You want to fuck her. You have no interest in him whatsoever. Who cares what he thinks?
When messaging a woman or couple never write more than one sentence. They don't have the time to read longish interesting messages that show you have read their profile. Just write something like
Hi fancy a fuck?
or
Do u wnt 2 meet?
Writing such a one liner guarantees to get the woman wet and dying to meet you. Also enclose some pictures with your message. Enclose about six photos but make sure they are only photos of your cock. Tease them. Take the photos of your cock from different angles so the woman gets a full _iew of what a cock looks like. After all she will be sucking it for you so it is only fair she sees what she is getting. This will not only get her wet but having her dying with lust for you. In fact bring a spare set of clothes for the meeting as she may just rip your clothes off you after getting her so hot and wet with your cock pictures. By only sending cock pictures it shows your originality. You are subtly telling her “Here this is what you want”. The couple or woman are not interested in your face or body just your cock. They are swingers after all.
The people you message may look at your profile. Make sure you keep it short to avoid wasting people’s time. Don’t have a one line profile like your message. You can elaborate more on your profile. It is best keep your profile to 3 or 4 sentences maximum. Something like
“I like sex. Up 4 anyfink. Like all types of women from fat to skinny. Message me for a good time if you dare”
would be perfect. The “if you dare” bit at the end challenges them. We all love a challenge. Tick all sexual preferences as this shows you are up for anything. People like that. It shows your daring and fun side. Also set your age range from 18 – 80. Again this proves you are up for anything and it shows you are not ageist.
Think about where you would like to meet somebody. Why bother just messaging people in your area? The UK is a big place. So what if you live in London and they live in Edinburgh. There are trains and coaches you know. Messaging people hundreds of miles away shows how willing you are and proves you are not a timewaster. It is also a great way to visit new places.
After sending your message if for some stupid reason your one line message and cock shots do not interest the woman or couple you message and you get a reply of “Thanks but no thanks” message them back. Message them back with something like
“Why not?”
or
“I wasn’t really interested in a slut like you anyway”
or
“I thought this is a swinger’s website?”
Doing this guarantees a reply of “My mistake. When can we meet?”
If your message gets deleted and you don’t get a reply then message them again. They must have accidently deleted your message. After you send your second message check what happens. If again it is deleted and you get no reply assume they have accidently deleted your message again. So go and message them again and hope they won’t be so careless this time. Keep on doing this until they reply. Messaging them again and again may make them accidently put you on their block list. Unless they realise they have accidently blocked you then you are stuffed. Just get over it and send some more one line messages. Naturally the same goes for messages you send that get read but you don’t receive a reply.
If after doing all this for two to five days you have not had a meet then go to the forums. Put a message up complaining how hard it is for single guys to get a meet. Also tell them how you send hundreds of messages each day but don’t even get a reply off most rude people. As you will be the first person to ever do this you will be seen as original and fun. People will not see it as you moaning just stating how it is for single guys. Some people cannot handle the truth. That is their fault not yours. It may also make some women or couples think wow how have I missed this guy. Don’t be surprised if your forum post results in lots of women and couples messaging you asking for a meet.
If all the above fails it is time to create a new profile pretending to be a couple. When a meet arises claim your wife/partner is ill, her mother ill and she is visiting her etc. The woman or couple will be happy for you to come alone and they need never know you are really single. Do the same if they ever ask to speak to her. If they want to see a picture of her just nick one from another swinger’s website. It is best to nick the picture from a non UK website as you will be far less likely to be caught out. Don’t create a single female profile. You will look really stupid and be caught out very quickly even if you do look good in a dress.
As for married cheating men you already know all the tricks in the books.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Have all your shits at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.
An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.
A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To single guys.
First off remember the definition of swinging. Swinger = a woman or couple who will fuck anything.
Never fully read the profile of the person you are messaging. It only has boring stuff like their likes, dislikes, age of people they wish to meet etc. So what if you are out of their age range? They will make an exception for you so why waste time reading their profile? Naturally having a quick perv of the woman’s pictures is a must do. Looking at the woman’s pictures is much more fun then reading some boring profile. If it is a couple’s profile ignore his pictures. You want to fuck her. You have no interest in him whatsoever. Who cares what he thinks?
When messaging a woman or couple never write more than one sentence. They don't have the time to read longish interesting messages that show you have read their profile. Just write something like
Hi fancy a fuck?
or
Do u wnt 2 meet?
Writing such a one liner guarantees to get the woman wet and dying to meet you. Also enclose some pictures with your message. Enclose about six photos but make sure they are only photos of your cock. Tease them. Take the photos of your cock from different angles so the woman gets a full _iew of what a cock looks like. After all she will be sucking it for you so it is only fair she sees what she is getting. This will not only get her wet but having her dying with lust for you. In fact bring a spare set of clothes for the meeting as she may just rip your clothes off you after getting her so hot and wet with your cock pictures. By only sending cock pictures it shows your originality. You are subtly telling her “Here this is what you want”. The couple or woman are not interested in your face or body just your cock. They are swingers after all.
The people you message may look at your profile. Make sure you keep it short to avoid wasting people’s time. Don’t have a one line profile like your message. You can elaborate more on your profile. It is best keep your profile to 3 or 4 sentences maximum. Something like
“I like sex. Up 4 anyfink. Like all types of women from fat to skinny. Message me for a good time if you dare”
would be perfect. The “if you dare” bit at the end challenges them. We all love a challenge. Tick all sexual preferences as this shows you are up for anything. People like that. It shows your daring and fun side. Also set your age range from 18 – 80. Again this proves you are up for anything and it shows you are not ageist.
Think about where you would like to meet somebody. Why bother just messaging people in your area? The UK is a big place. So what if you live in London and they live in Edinburgh. There are trains and coaches you know. Messaging people hundreds of miles away shows how willing you are and proves you are not a timewaster. It is also a great way to visit new places.
After sending your message if for some stupid reason your one line message and cock shots do not interest the woman or couple you message and you get a reply of “Thanks but no thanks” message them back. Message them back with something like
“Why not?”
or
“I wasn’t really interested in a slut like you anyway”
or
“I thought this is a swinger’s website?”
Doing this guarantees a reply of “My mistake. When can we meet?”
If your message gets deleted and you don’t get a reply then message them again. They must have accidently deleted your message. After you send your second message check what happens. If again it is deleted and you get no reply assume they have accidently deleted your message again. So go and message them again and hope they won’t be so careless this time. Keep on doing this until they reply. Messaging them again and again may make them accidently put you on their block list. Unless they realise they have accidently blocked you then you are stuffed. Just get over it and send some more one line messages. Naturally the same goes for messages you send that get read but you don’t receive a reply.
If after doing all this for two to five days you have not had a meet then go to the forums. Put a message up complaining how hard it is for single guys to get a meet. Also tell them how you send hundreds of messages each day but don’t even get a reply off most rude people. As you will be the first person to ever do this you will be seen as original and fun. People will not see it as you moaning just stating how it is for single guys. Some people cannot handle the truth. That is their fault not yours. It may also make some women or couples think wow how have I missed this guy. Don’t be surprised if your forum post results in lots of women and couples messaging you asking for a meet.
If all the above fails it is time to create a new profile pretending to be a couple. When a meet arises claim your wife/partner is ill, her mother ill and she is visiting her etc. The woman or couple will be happy for you to come alone and they need never know you are really single. Do the same if they ever ask to speak to her. If they want to see a picture of her just nick one from another swinger’s website. It is best to nick the picture from a non UK website as you will be far less likely to be caught out. Don’t create a single female profile. You will look really stupid and be caught out very quickly even if you do look good in a dress.
As for married cheating men you already know all the tricks in the books.
"
Top tips from an expert????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
top tip
be careful when giving money to people living on the streets for a 'cup of tea'
some of the less savoury individuals maybe using the money to buy strong alcohol....... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"1. buy premium rate number
2. put number on 'how am i driving?' sticker
3. drive around town like a twat
4. watch the money roll in!"
The only problem with that is if your driving like a twat they might not get time to jot the number down! |
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"1. buy premium rate number
2. put number on 'how am i driving?' sticker
3. drive around town like a twat
4. watch the money roll in!
The only problem with that is if your driving like a twat they might not get time to jot the number down! "
1. buy premium rate number
2. put number on 'how am i driving?' sticker
3. drive around town like a (SLOW) twat
4. watch the money roll in!
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"1. buy premium rate number
2. put number on 'how am i driving?' sticker
3. drive around town like a twat
4. watch the money roll in!"
That’s just plain devious….. Brilliantly devious though… and canny resourceful … suppose yu’d need to nick a van first, like …. Still thats hardly a problem for most Makems |
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