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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Are in a relationship because that person just happen to be there and you didnt want to be alone?
Is being in a crap relationship better then being alone? |
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Have been in a relationship like that. Was with her for 9 years, the last 3 of which we never had sex. We weren't particularly unhappy, but it had just run its course. It was a wrench to separate, but we knew that we both needed to move on. |
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I decided when I was young not to be in a relationship rather than alone, for the sake of it. There were hard points with some relationships, but those are normal growth points.
Happily single now for quite some time.
Let yourself be free to grow and soar, if you're trapped and afraid to be alone. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"id say its much much better to be on your todd than in a shit relationship..lol"
I agree but many others don't. I knew someone who was very over weight and had no self confidence. She ended up with a guy who was a complete slob and arse hole. He make a comment about my tits in front of us both.
I was shocked and asked why she was with him. She said she couldn't do any better.
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Would never settle for anything less than perfect and never thought that anyone would put up with me as I had been doing my thing for so long. We were just talking about this today, all day spent chilling and mooching around the whitgift centre and loved it. Its worth holding out for it ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only ever been in one relationship it was never very good even in the early days, luckly we split up and I've been single ever since, I'd sooner be single for the rest of my life than end up unhappy in a dead end relationship again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Harry Chapin has a marvellous take on this issue :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MazXSlekckI
Final verses are :
You know the waitress took her bar rag
And she wiped it across her eyes
And as she spoke her voice came out as something like a sigh
She said, "I wish that I was beautiful or that you were halfway blind
And I wish I weren't so goddamned fat, I wish that you were mine
And I wish that you'd come with me when I leave for home
For we both know all about emptiness and livin' all alone"
And the little man
Looked at the empty glass in his hand
And he smiled a crooked grin
He said, "I guess I'm out of gin
And I know we both have been so lonely
And if you want me to come with you that's all right with me
'Cause I know I'm goin' nowhere and anywhere's a better place to be'" |
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Yesterday, I read the letter that I wrote to my husband the day before he kicked me out, saying how much I love him but I can't continue to walk on egg shells around him, but also how I couldn't bare to leave him. I'm happier without him, but I do miss being able to cuddle up with somebody. So in answer to the op, I'd rather be single than in a crap relationship. Although I can see why people do stay in crap relationships |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been in that kind of relationship and it sucks.
Nowadays I'm incredibly happy. Who thought monogamy could be so satisfying?
(I've probably jinxed it now!) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Loneliness and emptiness are powerful, destructive forces. The pain of loneliness far exceeds the pain of compromise.
"
It just depends how awful your partner is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Loneliness and emptiness are powerful, destructive forces. Sometimes the pain of loneliness far exceeds the pain of compromise.
It just depends how awful your partner is. "
True. I amended my analogy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Loneliness and emptiness are powerful, destructive forces. The pain of loneliness far exceeds the pain of compromise.
"
I think that depends on you
Some people just have a need to be wanted and with somebody, I see loads of people I know jump from one relationship to another, as soon as one fails they are on the look out and within weeks with somebody else, some just need to be part of something
Where as other don't have that need
I have been single for more years of my adult life than I have not, it really does not bother me, I'm happy to be alone, a lot of people just can't accept that though and I'm constantly being asked if I've found anybody yet and when I say no people awwww me, like its a shame and tell me I will find the right guy one day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Loneliness and emptiness are easier to overcome when you're single. If you're in a relationship and you feel that way, then it's completely soul destroying. "
I agree with this
I was more lonely when I was married than I have ever been alone |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Loneliness and emptiness are easier to overcome when you're single. If you're in a relationship and you feel that way, then it's completely soul destroying.
I agree with this
I was more lonely when I was married than I have ever been alone "
Me to. Especially if you are trying to make an effort and they don't respond. |
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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago
Northampton |
I was for a while, after my hubby died.
Took me less than a year to realise my mistake - that I had 'filled a gap' that I thought was in my life.
Didn't love him, and he turned out to be a violent d*unk.
Happily escaped that debacle, and now very happy making the most of my single life |
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By *lovisMan
over a year ago
Twickenham |
My mother says 'loneliness can be worst than hunger ' and she can speak from experience of both having been deported from Poland to Siberia in 1940 and lost my dad after 58 years of marriage
As many have said on here independence can be wonderful but sometimes you just need someone to be there for you. You can't understate the power of a good hug |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ive dumped some gfs out of unhappiness(im no stud lol)..i just cant stay somewhere i'm not happy...........therefore I cant cheat, because I usually say it as soon as its happening. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest op, I couldn't use someone like that, seems a bit soul less to me, as for cuddles, any sexy ladies who want to be wrapped up un my arms, just yell |
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