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Basic rules for new subs
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1) no piss, shit, blood or vomit
2) every sub has a safe word
3) I expect my subs to be creative and come up with ways to surprise and please me and take the risk that if I don't like it I will punish them
4) while some domination will be physical, I find this to easy I am stronger than you so it's easy for me to pin you tie you up or force you, a lot of the domination will be mental I will make you beg to please me.
5) with that in mind I am smarter than all my subs, never try to trick me I understand a sub likes to be punished if I suspect you are disobeying because you want a punishment I will reward you instead as this is an actual punishment.
6) I need to be able to have a laugh and a joke with my subs, sometimes It is very intense and sexually sometimes something silly will happen this needs to be ok.
7) submission is never about forcing you to do anything you don't want to do but rather controlling you into doing what you always fantasised about.
8) I own your bodies your holes and your orgasm
9) I can add anything to this list anytime I wish.
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
These are perhaps basic rules for all your new subs...
I prefer to sort my rules out in advance with the person I am playing with - its not a pre-written things.
But good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I have a footlong steak and cheese ,no red onion lots of jalapenos and honey mustard dressing"
You do know where hes going to stick that? You sure about the jalapeño and mustard?  |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
They may work for you as a starting point but the guys I have been sub to would never dream of trying to tell me they are smarter than me. I may have D/s relationships but not with someone who would only do so because they consider me less intelligent and therefore more pliable mentally. My guys like a challenge. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is this a template for all Doms?
Get a pen.....  "
Oh fuck. .. my pen just ran out of ink.
Quick. . Gimme another one. This is good shit. I mean it really is the shit.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"1) no piss, shit, blood or vomit
2) every sub has a safe word
3) I expect my subs to be creative and come up with ways to surprise and please me and take the risk that if I don't like it I will punish them
4) while some domination will be physical, I find this to easy I am stronger than you so it's easy for me to pin you tie you up or force you, a lot of the domination will be mental I will make you beg to please me.
5) with that in mind I am smarter than all my subs, never try to trick me I understand a sub likes to be punished if I suspect you are disobeying because you want a punishment I will reward you instead as this is an actual punishment.
6) I need to be able to have a laugh and a joke with my subs, sometimes It is very intense and sexually sometimes something silly will happen this needs to be ok.
7) submission is never about forcing you to do anything you don't want to do but rather controlling you into doing what you always fantasised about.
8) I own your bodies your holes and your orgasm
9) I can add anything to this list anytime I wish.
"
That's nice for you.
Why are you sharing your own personal preferences as if they are fact for everyone who indulges in ds play?
Certainly eight of those are not true in the relationship myself and my sub have. |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"I don't think saying smarter than is a derogatory term, more a play on the power exchange
Why so serious"
Because a one size fits all approach isn't a relationship for both parties but is entirely about the needs and wants of one. The rules should be made between sub and Dom, and those rules should be fluid as the dynamic develops over time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They may work for you as a starting point but the guys I have been sub to would never dream of trying to tell me they are smarter than me. I may have D/s relationships but not with someone who would only do so because they consider me less intelligent and therefore more pliable mentally. My guys like a challenge."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Guess its not for everyone but hey each to their own.
If I told my wife I was smarter than her she would smack me in the chops and point out if I was so smart I wouldnt have been stupid enough to say I was smarter than her in the first place... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think saying smarter than is a derogatory term, more a play on the power exchange
Why so serious
Because a one size fits all approach isn't a relationship for both parties but is entirely about the needs and wants of one. The rules should be made between sub and Dom, and those rules should be fluid as the dynamic develops over time."
Agreed,
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have never been in a sub/dom relationship, and I really have no great understanding of it, but for me the OP just makes me feel uncomfortable is this because there is definitley no sub or dom hidden inside me or the OP hasn't expressed it well? |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"Wondering what makes the op think he or she is cleverer than his or her subs.
"
I'm also wondering what kind of dom thinks he really has the power in the relationship...? |
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By *plankyMan
over a year ago
Beeston |
I am so new to this I don't really understand....
It is my sub who has the Power. She gets the punishment when I am weak and have been undermined by her disobedience .
You may have a different experience, and good luck to you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am so new to this I don't really understand....
It is my sub who has the Power. She gets the punishment when I am weak and have been undermined by her disobedience .
You may have a different experience, and good luck to you x"
The only power my sub has is to walk away.
Which isn't really power, because it's not a negotiating point. There's no going back if he walks out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
The only power my sub has is to walk away.
Which isn't really power, because it's not a negotiating point. There's no going back if he walks out."
I'm not a Dom abd I don't have or want a sub, but that doesn't seem very fair to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just an opinion but I believe the sub is actually the dominant in a relationship. A dom wants a sub to do what he/she is told, this makes the dom happy. If the sub does not oblige then the dom uses punishment/denial on the sub which also makes the dom happy. The sub ultimately controls what level of enjoyment the dom has by the actions they take x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like everyone and everything else, there is no standardised set of Domming Rules which fits every set of people.
The way you live and play is personal and unique to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your list, is all me me me. You list nothing that you give to the sub and to the dynamic.
It's symbiotic, the D/s relationship and it's give and take. So much nurture and compassion and reward I both sides.
Your list just makes me quite sad.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
The only power my sub has is to walk away.
Which isn't really power, because it's not a negotiating point. There's no going back if he walks out.
I'm not a Dom abd I don't have or want a sub, but that doesn't seem very fair to me. "
d/s relationships aren't fair by their very nature. They are fuelled by power imbalance. If he didn't enjoy what we did, he wouldn't keep seeing me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just an opinion but I believe the sub is actually the dominant in a relationship. A dom wants a sub to do what he/she is told, this makes the dom happy. If the sub does not oblige then the dom uses punishment/denial on the sub which also makes the dom happy. The sub ultimately controls what level of enjoyment the dom has by the actions they take x"
Not the case in my d/s relationship. If he doesn't do as I ask, then I tell him to put his clothes on and go home. I don't mess around with 'funishments'. I know that the biggest punishment for him is not getting to play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is this a template for all Doms?
Get a pen.....
Oh fuck. .. my pen just ran out of ink.
Quick. . Gimme another one. This is good shit. I mean it really is the shit. "
Lmfao !!! |
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you have the power because he doesn't walk away. he allows you to do what you want because he enjoys it, and so do you. it is a symbiotic relationship, you both get what you want. but ultimately if your sub chooses to walk away he denies you the pleasure of using him by exercising his ultimate control of the situation. he has as much power as you do, only yours is more obvious than his.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"you have the power because he doesn't walk away. he allows you to do what you want because he enjoys it, and so do you. it is a symbiotic relationship, you both get what you want. but ultimately if your sub chooses to walk away he denies you the pleasure of using him by exercising his ultimate control of the situation. he has as much power as you do, only yours is more obvious than his.
"
When you look at it in the wider context...
I could advertise on a fetish site for a new sub and find one within a week. You could look at it as no great loss... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am so new to this I don't really understand....
It is my sub who has the Power. She gets the punishment when I am weak and have been undermined by her disobedience .
You may have a different experience, and good luck to you x
The only power my sub has is to walk away.
Which isn't really power, because it's not a negotiating point. There's no going back if he walks out."
Couldn't agree more. Each to their own and all that, but this sums it up nicely for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is this a template for all Doms?
LOL
I think you'll find it in the first chapter of 'The book of Dom - 101' "
I think it's the first chapter in the book of 'Dick & Dom' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
The only power my sub has is to walk away.
Which isn't really power, because it's not a negotiating point. There's no going back if he walks out.
I'm not a Dom abd I don't have or want a sub, but that doesn't seem very fair to me.
d/s relationships aren't fair by their very nature. They are fuelled by power imbalance. If he didn't enjoy what we did, he wouldn't keep seeing me."
So If he was simply having a bad day because of XYZ.
He couldn't walk out?
He'd be done.
And to quote your own words "you could find another sub within a week and it would be no big loss".
You don't really value the relationship. That's not being a Domme.
That's being a bit of a twat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it rare to be attracted to any subdom profiles...no matter how hot the fem half is....especially those with rules that make me think they have lost the passion for fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"They may work for you as a starting point but the guys I have been sub to would never dream of trying to tell me they are smarter than me. I may have D/s relationships but not with someone who would only do so because they consider me less intelligent and therefore more pliable mentally. My guys like a challenge."
|
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"
The only power my sub has is to walk away.
Which isn't really power, because it's not a negotiating point. There's no going back if he walks out.
I'm not a Dom abd I don't have or want a sub, but that doesn't seem very fair to me.
d/s relationships aren't fair by their very nature. They are fuelled by power imbalance. If he didn't enjoy what we did, he wouldn't keep seeing me.
So If he was simply having a bad day because of XYZ.
He couldn't walk out?
He'd be done.
And to quote your own words "you could find another sub within a week and it would be no big loss".
You don't really value the relationship. That's not being a Domme.
That's being a bit of a twat. "
Couldn't agree more. Dom/sub relationship are not as cold as this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
The only power my sub has is to walk away.
Which isn't really power, because it's not a negotiating point. There's no going back if he walks out.
I'm not a Dom abd I don't have or want a sub, but that doesn't seem very fair to me.
d/s relationships aren't fair by their very nature. They are fuelled by power imbalance. If he didn't enjoy what we did, he wouldn't keep seeing me.
So If he was simply having a bad day because of XYZ.
He couldn't walk out?
He'd be done.
And to quote your own words "you could find another sub within a week and it would be no big loss".
You don't really value the relationship. That's not being a Domme.
That's being a bit of a twat.
Couldn't agree more. Dom/sub relationship are not as cold as this. "
It works for us. Everyone has different preferences and different enjoyments. Some of us like cold. Some of us don't enjoy 'normal' relationships where everyone is happy and warm and cuddly.
It's ok, there are people out there for everyone. As long as the two people enjoy themselves in their relationship it doesn't really matter to anyone else. You are free to have your own relationship your own way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
The only power my sub has is to walk away.
Which isn't really power, because it's not a negotiating point. There's no going back if he walks out.
I'm not a Dom abd I don't have or want a sub, but that doesn't seem very fair to me.
d/s relationships aren't fair by their very nature. They are fuelled by power imbalance. If he didn't enjoy what we did, he wouldn't keep seeing me.
So If he was simply having a bad day because of XYZ.
He couldn't walk out?
He'd be done.
And to quote your own words "you could find another sub within a week and it would be no big loss".
You don't really value the relationship. That's not being a Domme.
That's being a bit of a twat. "
I said you could look at it as no great loss. I'd still have my best friend, our friendship doesn't rely on us having sex together. Our ds play is very different to our friendship.
It's not really being a twat at all. He enjoys being in that kind of relationship. If he's having a bad day he says 'I'm having a bad day, how about we go for lunch instead?' and we talk about it, go for lunch, and try again another time.
What I will not do is 'punish' him with sex for stuff. Because that doesn't do anything for either of us.
So before you judge me as a twat, perhaps you'd like to consider that each relationship has nuances that you don't know about, and as long as both parties enjoy it then there's really nothing wrong with it? |
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"
The only power my sub has is to walk away.
Which isn't really power, because it's not a negotiating point. There's no going back if he walks out.
I'm not a Dom abd I don't have or want a sub, but that doesn't seem very fair to me.
d/s relationships aren't fair by their very nature. They are fuelled by power imbalance. If he didn't enjoy what we did, he wouldn't keep seeing me.
So If he was simply having a bad day because of XYZ.
He couldn't walk out?
He'd be done.
And to quote your own words "you could find another sub within a week and it would be no big loss".
You don't really value the relationship. That's not being a Domme.
That's being a bit of a twat.
I said you could look at it as no great loss. I'd still have my best friend, our friendship doesn't rely on us having sex together. Our ds play is very different to our friendship.
It's not really being a twat at all. He enjoys being in that kind of relationship. If he's having a bad day he says 'I'm having a bad day, how about we go for lunch instead?' and we talk about it, go for lunch, and try again another time.
What I will not do is 'punish' him with sex for stuff. Because that doesn't do anything for either of us.
So before you judge me as a twat, perhaps you'd like to consider that each relationship has nuances that you don't know about, and as long as both parties enjoy it then there's really nothing wrong with it?"
Every relationship is different, even vanilla relationships. If it works for both parties then it cannot be wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"1) no piss, shit, blood or vomit
2) every sub has a safe word
3) I expect my subs to be creative and come up with ways to surprise and please me and take the risk that if I don't like it I will punish them
4) while some domination will be physical, I find this to easy I am stronger than you so it's easy for me to pin you tie you up or force you, a lot of the domination will be mental I will make you beg to please me.
5) with that in mind I am smarter than all my subs, never try to trick me I understand a sub likes to be punished if I suspect you are disobeying because you want a punishment I will reward you instead as this is an actual punishment.
6) I need to be able to have a laugh and a joke with my subs, sometimes It is very intense and sexually sometimes something silly will happen this needs to be ok.
7) submission is never about forcing you to do anything you don't want to do but rather controlling you into doing what you always fantasised about.
8) I own your bodies your holes and your orgasm
9) I can add anything to this list anytime I wish.
"
Well thanks for sharing that
I'm challenging number 5 though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Butter both sides of the roll. "
Now I'm a no butter girl, I prefer to just have pickles and Mayo or what ever matches my choice.
Lucky my local sandwich shop owner isn't a Dom
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"1) no piss, shit, blood or vomit
2) every sub has a safe word
3) I expect my subs to be creative and come up with ways to surprise and please me and take the risk that if I don't like it I will punish them
4) while some domination will be physical, I find this to easy I am stronger than you so it's easy for me to pin you tie you up or force you, a lot of the domination will be mental I will make you beg to please me.
5) with that in mind I am smarter than all my subs, never try to trick me I understand a sub likes to be punished if I suspect you are disobeying because you want a punishment I will reward you instead as this is an actual punishment.
6) I need to be able to have a laugh and a joke with my subs, sometimes It is very intense and sexually sometimes something silly will happen this needs to be ok.
7) submission is never about forcing you to do anything you don't want to do but rather controlling you into doing what you always fantasised about.
8) I own your bodies your holes and your orgasm
9) I can add anything to this list anytime I wish.
Well thanks for sharing that
I'm challenging number 5 though "
so am I! Since when did submission = lower intelligence. There is no correlation between the two.
It's known that people in high powered jobs and with very high IQs and intelligence use submission and BDSM play as an escape from the pressures. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"1) no piss, shit, blood or vomit
2) every sub has a safe word
3) I expect my subs to be creative and come up with ways to surprise and please me and take the risk that if I don't like it I will punish them
4) while some domination will be physical, I find this to easy I am stronger than you so it's easy for me to pin you tie you up or force you, a lot of the domination will be mental I will make you beg to please me.
5) with that in mind I am smarter than all my subs, never try to trick me I understand a sub likes to be punished if I suspect you are disobeying because you want a punishment I will reward you instead as this is an actual punishment.
6) I need to be able to have a laugh and a joke with my subs, sometimes It is very intense and sexually sometimes something silly will happen this needs to be ok.
7) submission is never about forcing you to do anything you don't want to do but rather controlling you into doing what you always fantasised about.
8) I own your bodies your holes and your orgasm
9) I can add anything to this list anytime I wish.
Well thanks for sharing that
I'm challenging number 5 though "
He's right. All his subs ARE imaginary though... |
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And dont get the lash out, or maybe dont do, do, dont 
