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Can you get pregnant if...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Asking for a friend btw.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Is it April the 1st?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No. The sperm meets the egg in the fallopian tube and travels down to settle in the uterus. Sperm can't be absorbed into the fallopian tubes via the navel.

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By *ay4youMan  over a year ago

Walthamstow

Wtf i really don't think so....maybe I'm wrong but I'm 99 u can't cos I ain't heard of nnothing like that before bloody hell

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hideous

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

The only safe way is bareback anal

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

Hahaha

Don't forget to wash it out properly, otherwise it will stink lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Is it April the 1st? "

Come on now,be serious.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Erm no. The belly button is a natural storing area, the cum will just soak into the fluff. She will be safe

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Asking for a friend btw."

If he cums on you don't think your friend can get pregnant but will have to check.

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By *andy_tomMan  over a year ago

wolverhampton


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

thats a hard question, , can i have a easy one .

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

yes you can, the same as if you give him a blow job and swallow. Also don't go anywhere near a toilet seat that a man sat on recently.

HTH.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If the man has semen on his fingers and inserts them into your vagina there is a chance of pregnancy.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

Always keep bellybuttons covered ie, plaster/sticky tape.

Any stray spunk can just be wiped clean

then - no happy accidents, job done

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Is it April the 1st?

Come on now,be serious. "

What you mean you really can't get pregnant your first time

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

.....best just to swallow dear....to be on the safe side. .

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Asking for a friend btw.

If he cums on you don't think your friend can get pregnant but will have to check."

Well we're really close friends, once I got the flu and the next day she got the flu. So does this mean I'll have a baby the day after her?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Also don't go anywhere near a toilet seat that a man sat on recently.

HTH. "

I always hover, safety first

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By *amparaWoman  over a year ago

biggleswade


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

are you being serious here??

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton?

are you being serious here??"

Yes. Deadly.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Asking for a friend btw.

If he cums on you don't think your friend can get pregnant but will have to check.

Well we're really close friends, once I got the flu and the next day she got the flu. So does this mean I'll have a baby the day after her?"

Hmmm ... that's complicated things. Just to be in the safe side I'd wrap yourselves in cling film

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By *rcticFoxxxWoman  over a year ago

Hereabouts

[Removed by poster at 07/05/15 10:22:21]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

That's the way the stork knows you're ready.

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By *rcticFoxxxWoman  over a year ago

Hereabouts

I've been doing it wrong for years!

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By *elvet RopeMan  over a year ago

by the big field

Remember-

1) up the bum, no babies

2) you only get pregnant if you tell him you love him after

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Is it April the 1st?

Come on now,be serious.

What you mean you really can't get pregnant your first time "

Not if it's on a Sunday and you pray really hard.

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By *amparaWoman  over a year ago

biggleswade

you can't get pregnant like that everyone knows it's the stork that brings you babies

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By *.nottsbloke..Man  over a year ago

the vale


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

no but u can if u swallow it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Better watch out ladies. Wanking a guy off make sure you get no cum on your hand. You might get preg

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Asking for a friend btw.

If he cums on you don't think your friend can get pregnant but will have to check."

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Ok so I guess I'm pregnant.

NEXT QUESTION.

If a guy gives me a really good fingering, I mean really right up there, is that really how babies get dimples? Coz babies with dimples are soooo cute!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok so I guess I'm pregnant.

NEXT QUESTION.

If a guy gives me a really good fingering, I mean really right up there, is that really how babies get dimples? Coz babies with dimples are soooo cute!"

Ha hahaha!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

'Ok I'm not stupid' doesn't gel with rest of post.

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By *rcticFoxxxWoman  over a year ago

Hereabouts


"Ok so I guess I'm pregnant.

NEXT QUESTION.

If a guy gives me a really good fingering, I mean really right up there, is that really how babies get dimples? Coz babies with dimples are soooo cute!"

I just choked on my tea!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok so I guess I'm pregnant.

NEXT QUESTION.

If a guy gives me a really good fingering, I mean really right up there, is that really how babies get dimples? Coz babies with dimples are soooo cute!"

That made me laugh

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok so I guess I'm pregnant.

NEXT QUESTION.

If a guy gives me a really good fingering, I mean really right up there, is that really how babies get dimples? Coz babies with dimples are soooo cute!"

I have a dimple! My poor mum

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By *andy_tomMan  over a year ago

wolverhampton


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? .....best just to swallow dear....to be on the safe side. . "

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By *hattyman80Man  over a year ago

stockport

This is absolutely hilarious. You've got a great sense of humour. We should see more of this on the forums

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By *evaquitCouple  over a year ago

Catthorpe

Sarah's got jokes.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If this really happened, and I can believe anyone in 2015 would be so irresponsible, then she's probably carrying quintuplets already.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Ok so I guess I'm pregnant.

NEXT QUESTION.

If a guy gives me a really good fingering, I mean really right up there, is that really how babies get dimples? Coz babies with dimples are soooo cute!

I have a dimple! My poor mum "

Your lucky mum, you mean

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

i got pregnant when i swallowed a load.. DONT DO IT

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"If this really happened, and I can believe anyone in 2015 would be so irresponsible, then she's probably carrying quintuplets already. "

You're right, because the amount of babies you conceive is directly proportionate to how smart you are. That's why dogs have litters, they're smarter than most humans.

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By *onguetastic1Man  over a year ago

Castleford

I conceived all 33 of my children by Cumming in girls belly buttons, don't risk it, swallow it instead...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok so I guess I'm pregnant.

NEXT QUESTION.

If a guy gives me a really good fingering, I mean really right up there, is that really how babies get dimples? Coz babies with dimples are soooo cute!"

Hahaha

I love you girl! You made my day!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If this really happened, and I can believe anyone in 2015 would be so irresponsible, then she's probably carrying quintuplets already.

You're right, because the amount of babies you conceive is directly proportionate to how smart you are. That's why dogs have litters, they're smarter than most humans."

Dog spelt backwards is god, check mate humans

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

OP, next you'll be telling us that good girls get diamonds every time they give a man a BJ!

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By *ola.Woman  over a year ago

Just where I need to be.

Damn I must be a bad girl. All I get is a pearl necklace.

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By *untimes6969Man  over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"OP, next you'll be telling us that good girls get diamonds every time they give a man a BJ! "

You mean to tell me this isn't true!!!!

Illusion is completely shattered - maybe there not real diamonds

Cracking thread!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"OP, next you'll be telling us that good girls get diamonds every time they give a man a BJ! "

Don't be ridiculous. But did you know it burns 200 calories a minute?

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By *untimes6969Man  over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Damn I must be a bad girl. All I get is a pearl necklace. "

MMMM Maybe some matching earings - diamonds or pearls??

The choice is yours Lola - sexy minx x x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It depends - is it Super Sperm?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? .....best just to swallow dear....to be on the safe side. . "

No because if you follow logic....if you swallow an apple pip an apple tree will grow in your stomach

The same will apply for swallowing sperm a baby will grow

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

No because if you follow logic....if you swallow an apple pip an apple tree will grow in your stomach

The same will apply for swallowing sperm a baby will grow "

Right ok, thanks.

So if I have anal will the baby come out my bum instead?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If the man has semen on his fingers and inserts them into your vagina there is a chance of pregnancy. "

this ^^^^ or if you touch it then touch yourself......alot seem to think you have to be directly cum inside to conceive (this does make it more likely) however sperm can live for so many hours outside of the vagina, so unless you discard straight away there is still a small risk of becoming pregnant if it manages to come into contact with it........same as pre cum can have thousands of live swimmers also making the pull out method null and void xx

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By *inaTitzTV/TS  over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

What about from a toilet seat?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

No because if you follow logic....if you swallow an apple pip an apple tree will grow in your stomach

The same will apply for swallowing sperm a baby will grow

Right ok, thanks.

So if I have anal will the baby come out my bum instead?"

Yes it's a proven fact, the doctor gives you a lube injection to help give birth

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"OP, next you'll be telling us that good girls get diamonds every time they give a man a BJ!

Don't be ridiculous. But did you know it burns 200 calories a minute?"

Oh right, so that'll just about cover the 2500 cal daily intake for a man..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

No because if you follow logic....if you swallow an apple pip an apple tree will grow in your stomach

The same will apply for swallowing sperm a baby will grow

Right ok, thanks.

So if I have anal will the baby come out my bum instead?"

That would be a crap childhood

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By *ola.Woman  over a year ago

Just where I need to be.


"What about from a toilet seat? "

Everyone knows you use protection. Layer toilet paper round the seat.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

Of course not.....is this serious?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Asking for a friend btw."

Yea, my friend Mike wants to know if any ladies want to come and sit on his face whilst her bi friend rides my, sorry, his cock.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? Of course not.....is this serious? "

Yes

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By *radleyandRavenCouple  over a year ago

Herts

With Bradley's little swimmers, it wouldn't surprise me.

- Amy. x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

Total nonsense, cant even believe in replying to this crap

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

What? I've made a note of how not to get pregnant. I'm wrapping myself in clingfilm as I type "

Sounds like sweaty stuff, enjoy :p

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By *ittle Pocket PerveWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth

I know I shouldn't be, but... I am laughing

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Pure comedy gold.

Fab should have awards for threads like this!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I purposely don't sleep with men so I won't get pregnant I haven't got the hips for it

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

the PC brigade had been on duty for a few hours without a call out..you were a sitting duck !!"

I especially like the folk who've blocked me based on this thread, just in case they accidentally impregnate me

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I purposely don't sleep with men so I won't get pregnant I haven't got the hips for it "

You're right, you'd look ridiculous.

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Don't spoil a fun thread by calling people names or bitching please.

To the OP....my answer would have been of course you can, everybody knows this.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

the PC brigade had been on duty for a few hours without a call out..you were a sitting duck !!

I especially like the folk who've blocked me based on this thread, just in case they accidentally impregnate me "

Bloody hell!! Don't people have a sense of humour anymore?

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By *he Ring WraithMan  over a year ago

Bradford


"

the PC brigade had been on duty for a few hours without a call out..you were a sitting duck !!

I especially like the folk who've blocked me based on this thread, just in case they accidentally impregnate me "

I have blocked you, in case I get pregnant by reading the original post, damn these wriggling spermy things causing their problems all over the thread (or is that all over the OP ? !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

the PC brigade had been on duty for a few hours without a call out..you were a sitting duck !!

I especially like the folk who've blocked me based on this thread, just in case they accidentally impregnate me "

Just took them by surprise that's all. This is why I pop into the forums, such a laugh!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm really disappointed in you lot. Getting pregnant is not a laughing matter.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I purposely don't sleep with men so I won't get pregnant I haven't got the hips for it

You're right, you'd look ridiculous."

Ahh I'm wounded

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm hoping that there hasn't been any accidents from hot tub absorption. How would you explain that to your child

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm really disappointed in you lot. Getting pregnant is not a laughing matter. "

I disagree - I've been laughing from the start at this thread! Genius. And actually, some useful advice they don't tell you at school!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/05/15 12:41:35]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time"

.....

You can't? ...oh right.

So how many times does it take then?

When you see the words "I know I'm not stupid"... that kind of sets it up for everything stupid that comes after it.

... This must surely be a joke.

Total disbelief right now.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Judging by the OP ' S status I assume she was joking.

At least I really bloody hope so.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

People of the internet not understanding sarcastic humour is the best.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"People of the internet not understanding sarcastic humour is the best."

My best excuse is I've been at the petrol station and I've inhaled fumes.

You never know on here though.

I've seen some proper stupid shit posted.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

No because if you follow logic....if you swallow an apple pip an apple tree will grow in your stomach

The same will apply for swallowing sperm a baby will grow

Right ok, thanks.

So if I have anal will the baby come out my bum instead?

Yes it's a proven fact, the doctor gives you a lube injection to help give birth "

It's a well established fact on the internet that if you have anal with a vwe guy the baby will infact be coughed up rather than an anal birth.

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By *reelove1969Couple  over a year ago

bristol


"

Total disbelief right now. "

Echo those words !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm a doctor. You're pregnant with twins. One of them might be mine.

I remember it like it was tomorrow. We shared an ice cream cone on the veranda. Phish Food was our choice. You licked, I licked. We had a good thing going, a damn good thing! I look back on this moment and I think of the things I've seen, things that you people wouldn't believe, but all those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

And on that note, does anyone have a spare coathanger? (Metal preferably)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"People of the internet not understanding sarcastic humour is the best."

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

lol in defence of the people who took it seriously....there has been some weird things posted on this forum before now so you never can tell

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm a doctor. You're pregnant with twins. One of them might be mine.

I remember it like it was tomorrow. We shared an ice cream cone on the veranda. Phish Food was our choice. You licked, I licked. We had a good thing going, a damn good thing! I look back on this moment and I think of the things I've seen, things that you people wouldn't believe, but all those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

And on that note, does anyone have a spare coathanger? (Metal preferably)"

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple  over a year ago

Derbyshire


"Is it April the 1st?

Come on now,be serious. "

Really?

I think the clue was in the other two 'facts'.

OP:

You can get pregnant even if you have never been with a man. I know of at least two cases widely accepted as fact.

So, to be on the safe side, if a man comes into your room late at night, holding a dove, sings a bit of Latin, claims to be an angel, and tells you not to make a noise or be afraid, tell your friend to kick him really hard in the bollocks.

(Don't worry, real angels don't have bollocks)

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

Funniest thread all day.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

If I have a boy I'm naming him Fabio.

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By *rcticFoxxxWoman  over a year ago

Hereabouts

OP, I love you. You're brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If this really happened, and I can believe anyone in 2015 would be so irresponsible, then she's probably carrying quintuplets already.

You're right, because the amount of babies you conceive is directly proportionate to how smart you are. That's why dogs have litters, they're smarter than most humans."

God i must be really really thick then. Only ever had one kid.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This is absolutely hilarious. You've got a great sense of humour. We should see more of this on the forums "

I'd have to say agree with this.

At the risk of a massive fucking back peddle it's pretty funny though.

The dimples post in the thread has just made me giggle fit.

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By *hattyman80Man  over a year ago

stockport

I hear if you rub your hands together to warm them up that's the start of making a baby.

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By *innamon!Woman  over a year ago

no matter


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

Absolutely Can get pregnant first time ..And absolutly can get pregnant standing up even if you are in a church as a friend of mine will testify..she was 17 yrs old and it was 1970 .. Of course you can get pregnant through the belly button the hole leads straight to the womb. Silly girl

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton?

Absolutely Can get pregnant first time ..And absolutly can get pregnant standing up even if you are in a church as a friend of mine will testify..she was 17 yrs old and it was 1970 .. Of course you can get pregnant through the belly button the hole leads straight to the womb. Silly girl "

Thanks for clearing that up

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By *ranthamThroatMan  over a year ago

Grantham.


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

I thank you for such a great laugh, alas my cracked ribs are suffering from me laughing so much.

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman  over a year ago

Tenbury Wells

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton?

Always keep bellybuttons covered ie, plaster/sticky tape.

Any stray spunk can just be wiped clean

then - no happy accidents, job done "

Errm who leaves cum in their belly button,,, what do you dip your post sex digestives In?!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

best thread ever! thanks sarah

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

A big pregnancy risk, well I got up the duff, is from small cocked guys. Thinner cocks can penetrate belly buttons, depositing love seed along the tunnel. It doesn't matter which type of knot was used, in fact some of them are able to preserve sperm for up to thirty five years, owing to the embryonic nature of umbilical cords. As the internal cord relaxes with age, the sperm are propelled onto the eggs.

If there's sufficient bellybutton fluff, some eggs develop there, before falling out when there's no further space. All reports of pixies and goblins are really bellybutton babies that fell out, during warmer summer months.

This is all proven and readily backed up by evidence.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Howling laughing here..real tears

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The worst thing about getting pregnant through your belly button are the stretch marks. To avoid them the have to do a Caesarian on your bum. And that means you have to eat tomato soup until the stitches heal

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By *uke olovingmanMan  over a year ago

Gravesend

Put a thimble in your belly button next time .. your chances of pregnancy treble if you have a pierced belly button

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Put a thimble in your belly button next time .. your chances of pregnancy treble if you have a pierced belly button "

True dat!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Put a thimble in your belly button next time .. your chances of pregnancy treble if you have a pierced belly button "

I did have mine done but I took it out as a contraceptive measure. Same reason I don't have my tongue pierced.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You can get pregnant from oral sex if your tongue is pierced

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By *ady LickWoman  over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I'm looking forward to hearing what the OP wants to know next. Hilarious

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By *parkie1Man  over a year ago

liverpool

Don't let him fun on ya tit's you could have twins

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By *earboynottinghamMan  over a year ago

Nottingham


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

Have you ever seen the film 'Alien'?

That's the only outcome possibe here

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By *edsBonkingMan  over a year ago

Near MK

This is obviously just a wind up, but fun.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This is obviously just a wind up, but fun. "

you mean it's not all factually correct??

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

ooooo belly buttons are for keeping ya salt in while in bed with ya fish and chips, wash out proper after ya have made babies folks

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By *ench and StripeCouple  over a year ago

Stenalees

There is 1 proven documented case of pregnancy by oral sex......

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm really disappointed in you lot. Getting pregnant is not a laughing matter.

I disagree - I've been laughing from the start at this thread! Genius. And actually, some useful advice they don't tell you at school!"

You have obviously never gone through labour and it's excruciating pain. How many women have you seen laughing as they squeeze a baby out???

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"People of the internet not understanding sarcastic humour is the best."

You mean she wasn't being serious and all my good advice was in vain

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central


"People of the internet not understanding sarcastic humour is the best.

You mean she wasn't being serious and all my good advice was in vain "

--------------------------------------------

No, not in vain - the expert advice offered here will help prevent many unwanted pregnancies.

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By *ain n MableWoman  over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Not on a Monday or a Wednesday, alternatively you can visit the family planning clinic and get a Bellydom, they are very easy to insert, it tells you on the side of the box, unfortunately its written in Arabic, but you can use Google Translater to Erm, Err, translate.

Hope i have been some help?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Don't let him fun on ya tit's you could have twins"

If you've got a third nipple does it make triplets?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Not on a Monday or a Wednesday, alternatively you can visit the family planning clinic and get a Bellydom, they are very easy to insert, it tells you on the side of the box, unfortunately its written in Arabic, but you can use Google Translater to Erm, Err, translate.

Hope i have been some help? "

Perfect thanks

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"People of the internet not understanding sarcastic humour is the best.

You mean she wasn't being serious and all my good advice was in vain

--------------------------------------------

No, not in vain - the expert advice offered here will help prevent many unwanted pregnancies. "

Did anyone mention the risks of holding hands?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Love this thread ..pmsl @ bellydom

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By *arry_UkMan  over a year ago

birmingham

I thought the only way to get a lady pregnant is why coming in her eye

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton?

The only safe way is bareback anal "

Well my mum says that how she must have got pregnant with me, since im such a asshole

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

Pretty sure that's how both of our kids we conceived.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I'm gonna get my bellybutton removed

A) so I look more like a barbie

And

B) so I don't get preggers

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By *lik and PaulCouple  over a year ago

Flagrante


"Erm no. The belly button is a natural storing area, the cum will just soak into the fluff. She will be safe"

oh that made me laugh....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hi

Thank God Iv came across this thread Iv been so worried for days. I had a meet and things went well and we ended up having sex, she made me wear a condom but insisted on me taking it off and cuming on her belly, I think some may have dripped into her belly button...

I have asked her to get the morning after pill but she said she would be fine, I'm still very worried, I have been ignoring her calls and thinking about selling my car and moving abroad, I really don't want kids just now!

Please tell me I will be ok!

Sincerely,

A worried Lion

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Hi

Thank God Iv came across this thread Iv been so worried for days. I had a meet and things went well and we ended up having sex, she made me wear a condom but insisted on me taking it off and cuming on her belly, I think some may have dripped into her belly button...

I have asked her to get the morning after pill but she said she would be fine, I'm still very worried, I have been ignoring her calls and thinking about selling my car and moving abroad, I really don't want kids just now!

Please tell me I will be ok!

Sincerely,

A worried Lion"

Lions did you shag ma pal?!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Hi

Thank God Iv came across this thread Iv been so worried for days. I had a meet and things went well and we ended up having sex, she made me wear a condom but insisted on me taking it off and cuming on her belly, I think some may have dripped into her belly button...

I have asked her to get the morning after pill but she said she would be fine, I'm still very worried, I have been ignoring her calls and thinking about selling my car and moving abroad, I really don't want kids just now!

Please tell me I will be ok!

Sincerely,

A worried Lion

Lions did you shag ma pal?! "

Is your pal paintmewhite88?...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Well, this is awkward.

Please don't leave the country, we can raise this baby together. Don't leave little Fabio without a dad

With my pal I mean. Wisnae me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

no more creampies for me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" no more creampies for me "

Good luck with your diet mate!

There will be times of temptation but stay strong!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Be careful with cream pies. A minute on the lips a lifetime on the hips.

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By *nne CallanWoman  over a year ago

Nothing to see here. Please move along.


"OP, next you'll be telling us that good girls get diamonds every time they give a man a BJ! "

If that was true I would have more diamonds than the crown jewels..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

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By *onyneMan  over a year ago

Newcastle

I have asked a friend who is a Naval Architect and they say they have been designed to be easily designated a safe sex area.

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By *rcticFoxxxWoman  over a year ago

Hereabouts


"Be careful with cream pies. A minute on the lips a lifetime on the hips."

If you swallow it whole so it doesn't touch your lips... Does that mean it won't go to your hips?!

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Be careful with cream pies. A minute on the lips a lifetime on the hips."

I think carrying them on the hips after about four or five isn't really viable.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I no a chap who got pregnant this way! Think there was a film about it.......

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By *inkyKellyCDTV/TS  over a year ago

Coventry

Finding it hilarious the people who didn't catch the humour and took this seriously :D

I'm sure I vaguely recall something about someone using a crisp packet as a condom once, hah! Someone was joking about it on TV yeaaaars ago and I can't remember exactly where.

And a story where an American couple were trying for a baby, they went to the doctor asking why they weren't having any luck, and yeah, the guy was just cumming on her navel and they thought that was how it was done I suppose that's what you get from parents or schools that think "don't teach kids about sex, that's dirrrty!" :P

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Finding it hilarious the people who didn't catch the humour and took this seriously :D

I'm sure I vaguely recall something about someone using a crisp packet as a condom once, hah! Someone was joking about it on TV yeaaaars ago and I can't remember exactly where.

And a story where an American couple were trying for a baby, they went to the doctor asking why they weren't having any luck, and yeah, the guy was just cumming on her navel and they thought that was how it was done I suppose that's what you get from parents or schools that think "don't teach kids about sex, that's dirrrty!" :P"

A crisp packet just sounds jaggy maybe a pringles tub?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Finding it hilarious the people who didn't catch the humour and took this seriously :D

I'm sure I vaguely recall something about someone using a crisp packet as a condom once, hah! Someone was joking about it on TV yeaaaars ago and I can't remember exactly where.

And a story where an American couple were trying for a baby, they went to the doctor asking why they weren't having any luck, and yeah, the guy was just cumming on her navel and they thought that was how it was done I suppose that's what you get from parents or schools that think "don't teach kids about sex, that's dirrrty!" :P

A crisp packet just sounds jaggy maybe a pringles tub?"

Ribbed Pringles.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I hear if you rub your hands together to warm them up that's the start of making a baby. "

Depends on what's between your hands.

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By *lutmeup500Woman  over a year ago

London

are u preg if you take the morning after pill then have a week long period two weeks early?!

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By *uicylucy76Woman  over a year ago

thornton cleveleys


"Finding it hilarious the people who didn't catch the humour and took this seriously :D

I'm sure I vaguely recall something about someone using a crisp packet as a condom once, hah! Someone was joking about it on TV yeaaaars ago and I can't remember exactly where.

And a story where an American couple were trying for a baby, they went to the doctor asking why they weren't having any luck, and yeah, the guy was just cumming on her navel and they thought that was how it was done I suppose that's what you get from parents or schools that think "don't teach kids about sex, that's dirrrty!" :P

A crisp packet just sounds jaggy maybe a pringles tub?

Ribbed Pringles. "

Once you pop.. You just can't stop!

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By *ak smithMan  over a year ago

exeter

I've been drinking a lot of beer lately and I've noticed that my belly is growing. Do you think that I might be pregnant? Some real ale does look like it might have sperm in it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm really upset by this thread. Everyone discussing how you can get pregnant if you get sperm in your belly button, up your bum or if you use the toilet after a guy. I can't believe nobody has seriously discussed the real issue here which is what happens if you get it in your eye. We've all heard of baby brain...

crystal

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By *one IdolMan  over a year ago

your imagination


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

Yep , guaranteed preggers but baby will have a full head of fluff ..... Oops .... Hair

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By *inkxRabbitWoman  over a year ago

Mostly in GU24


"I conceived all 33 of my children by Cumming in girls belly buttons, don't risk it, swallow it instead..."

Hahahaha

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By *rnortholtMan  over a year ago

Waveney Valley


"you can't get pregnant like that everyone knows it's the stork that brings you babies "

didn't Ed Milliband guarantee everyone a stork on the NHS?

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By *rnortholtMan  over a year ago

Waveney Valley


"I'm really upset by this thread. Everyone discussing how you can get pregnant if you get sperm in your belly button, up your bum or if you use the toilet after a guy. I can't believe nobody has seriously discussed the real issue here which is what happens if you get it in your eye. We've all heard of baby brain...

crystal "

is that like brain freeze.....only it lasts nine months?

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By *MaleMan  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/05/15 09:53:39]

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By *MaleMan  over a year ago

...if you swallow toothpaste or mouthwash you can get pregnant too apparently. Well that's what a bloke, that used to be in the SAS, who forever props up the bar in the local pub told me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/08/15 03:21:23]

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Just read this whole thread again. Still just as funny second time round

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By *ouble_The_DelightCouple  over a year ago

Wakefield

I didn,t see this first time round, made me smile

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

The old ones can be the best.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It takes way longer to get up the duff if you have an outy.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Fucking hells bells mun!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Fucking hells bells mun!! "

What ? I thought everybody knew that.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS  over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I'm tempted to send a few people messages telling them I'm pregnant and see who's the last to tell me to sod off

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By *hattyman80Man  over a year ago

stockport

I loved this post when it was first posted and having re read it I've decided it's even funnier now

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Fucking hells bells mun!!

What ? I thought everybody knew that. "

Well i have an inny, coil, supply of wellies, rain coat, snorkle, flippers and eye protection!! Risking pregnancy coz my inny bellybutton is fluff free!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm tempted to send a few people messages telling them I'm pregnant and see who's the last to tell me to sod off "

Aww congrats.

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By *uby0000Woman  over a year ago

hertfordshire


"Ok now I'm not stupid, I know you can't get pregnant your first time, or if you do it standing up, or under water.

But what if a guy cums on my stomach and it gets sucked into my bellybutton? "

nah everyone knows it goes by tube

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By *uby0000Woman  over a year ago

hertfordshire

fallopian tube lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm really upset by this thread. Everyone discussing how you can get pregnant if you get sperm in your belly button, up your bum or if you use the toilet after a guy. I can't believe nobody has seriously discussed the real issue here which is what happens if you get it in your eye. We've all heard of baby brain...

crystal "

Crying laughing on the bus! Love it!

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By *oonboyMan  over a year ago

livingston

Holy jesus.....i have just started reading the forums after some time away.... one of the funniest threads i have ever read....apart from coughing up a lung with laughter iam glad i dont have dimples...would never look at my mum again in the same way LOLOL

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Asking for a friend btw."

Hmmmm Sarah. Tell your 'friend' that he will indeed get pregnant from cum in the belly button.

The sperm werm wriggles round to the back and up his bum so he will need to wear pads soaked in toothpaste in his crack for a week.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Never saw this thread when it was originally posted

Hilarious OP

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple  over a year ago

Derbyshire

In memoriam

Mr ddc

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