FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > You know you're a wanker when...

You know you're a wanker when...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

A bit of fun!

You use a scooter to get to work

Your house has a name not a number

You order a glass of wine at the cinema

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You expect people to conform to your norms

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You buy an Audi/BMW/car without working indicator lights.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You vote Labour/Tory/Liberal/UKIP/Greens/SNP/that welsh lot/SF etc.

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By *orthLincsIronCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

You're single and can't get a meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You're single and can't get a meet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You wear a baseball cap.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You've got your hands down your trousers ...... Oh bugger.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You wear a baseball cap. "

Backwards especially!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You wear a baseball cap.

Backwards especially! "

Whilst wearing sunglasses.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

.......you're typing this with your dick in the other hand

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By *atietvsheffTV/TS over a year ago

Sheffield

You buy a new dress and a new pair of heels and you get home as fast as you can

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You have more pairs of trainers than shoes.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You've got your hands down your trousers ...... Oh bugger."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No don't be silly.

I'm typing with my nose!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You've got your hands down your trousers ...... Oh bugger."

Only if it's moist

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You wear a baseball cap.

Backwards especially!

Whilst wearing sunglasses. "

Whilst driving rapidly through the village acting as the local Hip Hop rap crap radio station.

Oh and litterbug, McD's and Subway a speciality.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You've got your hands down your trousers ...... Oh bugger.

Only if it's moist"

That's diarrhoea for you.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

lashings of crusty white stains adorn the front of your trousers/insides of your briefs.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You wear a baseball cap. "

Well jump in the lake

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You wear a baseball cap.

Backwards especially! "

Jump in the lake too

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By *callycatMan over a year ago

Mid Wales

You wear a track suit...off the track!

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By *uitar_antiheroMan over a year ago

Glasgow

You refuse to get on a bus.

After everyone else has bought a round you decide to go home.

You drive a taxi.

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By *anchestercubMan over a year ago

manchester & NI

Think Kanye's cool.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You wear a baseball cap.

Backwards especially!

Jump in the lake too

You hinting that you've never knocked one out?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You refuse to get on a bus.

After everyone else has bought a round you decide to go home.

You drive a taxi. "

Two out of three for me there.

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By *ench and StripeCouple over a year ago

Stenalees

1 arm is considerablely more muscular.

You like to masturbate.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You've got your hands down your trousers ...... Oh bugger.

Only if it's moist

That's diarrhoea for you.

That may be a 'preference' on here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"1 arm is considerablely more muscular.

You like to masturbate."

I wank with my right hand, but my right wrist is actually smaller than my left, also my left arm can lift more weight.

Very strange!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm gonna switch my avatar to my Snap back cap just to piss this thread right off.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm gonna switch my avatar to my Snap back cap just to piss this thread right off.

What are you implying?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm gonna switch my avatar to my Snap back cap just to piss this thread right off.

You're only 30 so just bordering the line of wankerdom!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm gonna switch my avatar to my Snap back cap just to piss this thread right off.

You're only 30 so just bordering the line of wankerdom! "

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By *issHottieBottieWoman over a year ago

Kent

When you answer the phone and instead of saying hello you say your phone number..

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By *ony HardcockMan over a year ago

Shepperton

You know you are a wanker when you are sat on your left hand waiting for it to go numb!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"When you answer the phone and instead of saying hello you say your phone number.. "

Lol that's a proper old person thing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You say innit and fam and you get me more than any other words in your sentence.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman over a year ago

Kent

"When you answer the phone and instead of saying hello you say your phone number..

Lol that's a proper old person thing

My nan does it. Drives me batshit!!!

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By *issHottieBottieWoman over a year ago

Kent

You get a new phone and play every fucking ringtone on it as loud as possible to see what they sound like on the train/bus/tube on the way home.

You attach a stereo to the back of your moped so you can have music on as you ride around that everyome else can hear bar you on your piece of shit moped!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your going to the pub attire is not distinguishable from your gymnasium attire.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Look in the mirror

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Look in the mirror

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you got friction burns on your cock

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Your going to the pub attire is not distinguishable from your gymnasium attire. "

Hahaha!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/05/15 14:37:45]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That was a joke btw

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Look in the mirror

I can't deny this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeah I thought I better delete that I might get in trouble haha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Look in the mirror

I mean when I look in the mirror lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Look in the mirror

I mean when I look in the mirror lol

Lol I thought we were getting personal for a moment!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you have tissues and baby oil on your porn collection next to your bed

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By *ola.Woman over a year ago

Just where I need to be.

"A bit of fun!

You know you're a wanker when...

You order a glass of wine at the cinema

Does a plastic wine cup count? Did pock a hole in top and drink through a straw. Ok I'm a wanker

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You ask someone called Lola if they are a showgirl.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You wear a baseball cap. "

Of the snap back variety and you're over 18.

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By *icky999Man over a year ago

warrington

..milliband and clegge kick your arse in a tv debate

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm gonna switch my avatar to my Snap back cap just to piss this thread right off.

Nothing personal Ben,posted before I read this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Look in the mirror

I mean when I look in the mirror lol

Lol I thought we were getting personal for a moment! "

Nooo not my style.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You drive along the road ranting about bloody immigrants.

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

You post a leaving thread every month

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You ask a girl to yours and don't clean the poo stains off your toilet.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You've got your hands down your trousers ...... Oh bugger."

This is gonna catch alot of us out

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thought of a perfect one while just on the school run. When you put a golf umbrella in a crowd!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You don't think dropping cigarette butts count as litter.

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By *udistnorthantsMan over a year ago

Desborough

you hold your phone in your left hand, but hold it up to your right ear... or vice versa

double wankerdom for doing it while driving..cnuts

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By *ertiVogtsMan over a year ago

Exeter

You identify with Russell Brand..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You identify with Russell Brand.."

And vote how he tells you to!

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By *oe bloggs69Man over a year ago

fife

"lashings of crusty white stains adorn the front of your trousers/insides of your briefs."
baaaaarf

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You talk about how expensive your clothes and/or accessories are

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By *arry_UkMan over a year ago

birmingham

You go to old Trafford every couple of weeks to watch 11 cunts in red!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you arrange to meet and don't turn up x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You buy an Audi/BMW/car without working indicator lights."

I was under the impression Most of those dint have them do they??

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By *ocksalt69Man over a year ago

cardiff

When you're single and hide under a couple's profile....and definitely picture collectors who never have intention to meet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When your trousers are half way down your arse, showing your crap underwear

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By *oe bloggs69Man over a year ago

fife

"You go to old Trafford every couple of weeks to watch 11 cunts in red!!

"
boing boing the baggies

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You've finished and little head goes and leaves big head to clean up,

Still worth it tho

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By *oe bloggs69Man over a year ago

fife

When yr cycling n yr driving brain disappears up yr arse

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By *hamboy69Man over a year ago

huddersfield

You adjust your mirror before leaving a parking space

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By *hamboy69Man over a year ago

huddersfield

Or even worse watch those cunts in red in the pub in a Man U shirt

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You buy an Audi/BMW/car without working indicator lights.

I was under the impression Most of those dint have them do they??

Optional extra apparently

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You buy an Audi/BMW/car without working indicator lights.

I was under the impression Most of those dint have them do they??

Optional extra apparently "

Oi,stop picking on BMW/Audi drivers. I had a BMW with perfect working indicators and my friend always used his on his Audi. You're just being carist!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

..you wheel spin from a parking space!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You buy an Audi/BMW/car without working indicator lights.

I was under the impression Most of those dint have them do they??

Optional extra apparently

Oi,stop picking on BMW/Audi drivers. I had a BMW with perfect working indicators and my friend always used his on his Audi. You're just being carist!

Ok maybe it's not all bmw drivers mainly the guys driving a 3 or 5 series company car (shirt in the back window is a good clue) they ALL drive like cunts

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You ask a girl to yours and don't clean the poo stains off your toilet."

Before or after?

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By *evaquitCouple over a year ago

Catthorpe

I ordered a glass of wine at the cinema, the electric cinema, Birmingham. I feel a right plum now, lol.

Him

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I ordered a glass of wine at the cinema, the electric cinema, Birmingham. I feel a right plum now, lol.

Him "

Stop feeling your right plum.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you wait at the bus stop for a bus...you are ...A.... BusWanker!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Justin bieber fan? ...you, my dear, ..is...a right propper wanker

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you your mistress has to cage you to make sure you dont wear it out

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By *an_WoodMan over a year ago

Stafford

When you try and get on the train before all the passengers have got off.

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By *homasP80Man over a year ago

Linwood

You buy an Audi/BMW/car without working indicator lights."

they probably DO have working indicators, it's just that a LOT of them, but probably the DRIVER not using them.

Also you know your a wanker when you drive like a TWAT in general, like driving at nearly 45-50mph in a 30mph zone like - your on a 30mph dual carriageway weaving from one lane to another overtaking EVERYONE, em what's the damn rush.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

when one thumb reaches the clit and the other chokes your shaft.

proper wanker.

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By *homasP80Man over a year ago

Linwood

"You go to old Trafford every couple of weeks to watch 11 cunts in red!!

Think you missed out - OVERPAID PRIMA DONNA's

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