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Witty one liners.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Has anyone in the forums local to me noticed my little status update jokes? I found it's a good way to get myself to the top of the page and give people a little chuckle at the same time. It's got me a bit more interest lately too ![](/icons/thumb_up.png) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I met Phil Specters brother Crispin at the weekend. He's in charge of quality control at Walkers.
That's two sentences. Is it written on a really long line? "
Bloodu hell! I want expecting hecklers. ![](/icons/s/wink.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Got a delivery of bubble wrap today at work .
My boss said "just pop it in the corner
4 hours I was there
Sorry op this one beats yours lol"
I have to agree. I did actually lol in real life. ![](/icons/s/razz.gif) |
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"Got a delivery of bubble wrap today at work .
My boss said "just pop it in the corner
4 hours I was there
Sorry op this one beats yours lol
I have to agree. I did actually lol in real life. "
and I did ![](/icons/s/biggrin.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball."
Shouldn't that be, a man has more chance of finding a good ball, lol. X ![](/icons/s/biggrin.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Shouldn't that be, a man has more chance of finding a good ball, lol. X "
Most men spend more time looking for a golf ball. lol. Apart from some I know. ![](/icons/s/2/cute.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I remember my ex asking me what I was looking at on the PC
I said. Flights love
She gave me the best bj I've ever had.
Did not even know she liked darts ![](/icons/s/biggrin.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Got a delivery of bubble wrap today at work .
My boss said "just pop it in the corner
4 hours I was there
Sorry op this one beats yours lol
I have to agree. I did actually lol in real life.
and I did "
and me, and iv nicked it for facebook ![](/icons/s/mrgreen.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Got a delivery of bubble wrap today at work .
My boss said "just pop it in the corner
4 hours I was there
Sorry op this one beats yours lol
I have to agree. I did actually lol in real life.
and I did
and me, and iv nicked it for facebook " I do have copyrights Yer know ![](/icons/s/2/cute.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak."
I had that.
Only it should be: "Until you HEAR them speak"
Or it doesn't work.
You know sound/light speed travel.
![](/icons/s/mrgreen.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
I had that.
Only it should be: "Until you HEAR them speak"
Or it doesn't work.
You know sound/light speed travel.
"
You are so smart ![](/icons/s/cool.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
I had that.
Only it should be: "Until you HEAR them speak"
Or it doesn't work.
You know sound/light speed travel.
You are so smart "
Oh hello..look who it is.
You can go away. ![](/icons/s/mrgreen.gif) |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I remember my ex asking me what I was looking at on the PC
I said. Flights love
She gave me the best bj I've ever had.
Did not even know she liked darts
Erm..I don't get it "
That's made me laugh. Sorry. ![](/icons/s/mrgreen.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I remember my ex asking me what I was looking at on the PC
I said. Flights love
She gave me the best bj I've ever had.
Did not even know she liked darts
Erm..I don't get it "
Dart Flights |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Here's one I posted on Saturday.
I won the euro millions last night. Told the girlfriend to pack her bags. She said 'Are we going on holiday?'. I said 'No, I'm kicking you out!' ![](/icons/s/biggrin.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Has anyone in the forums local to me noticed my little status update jokes? I found it's a good way to get myself to the top of the page and give people a little chuckle at the same time. It's got me a bit more interest lately too "
Think it may be more than just the one-liners, my status regularly has them on but it doesn't get me any extra interest!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
Mine is currently "Vin Diesel - American actor or cheap French wine from Aldi"
I rarely put statuses other than one/two liners up and get occasional messages if folk like them ![](/icons/thumb_up.png) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Went to the Drs ' I said " Dr I think I'm a moth.
He said " you don't want to be here , you need to be at the psychiatrist down the road.
I said ' " I know I was on my way there and saw your light on ![](/icons/s/biggrin.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't mind people telling me they're gay, but I don't want it ramming down my throat.
Less of the gay jokes. Cum on guys "
Point taken but your the one that cums on guys ![](/icons/s/biggrin.gif) |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"Has anyone in the forums local to me noticed my little status update jokes? I found it's a good way to get myself to the top of the page and give people a little chuckle at the same time. It's got me a bit more interest lately too
Think it may be more than just the one-liners, my status regularly has them on but it doesn't get me any extra interest!!"
I get a lot of messages about mine. However, I make mine up, rather than find them on the net, so it can be hit and miss. ![](/icons/s/2/cute.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Got a delivery of bubble wrap today at work .
My boss said "just pop it in the corner
4 hours I was there
I think that's hilarious but I would " that's what they say when I get naked ![](/icons/s/biggrin.gif) |
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