My friend went for her 20 week scan this morning and no heartbeat.
Now she has to go back in 2 days to give birth.. I can't even imagine what she's going through, I want to give Her a hug but she's not local.
I had a miscarriage years ago at 11 weeks and that was bad enough but I hadn't seen any scans or felt it moving. Nor did I have to walk around for 2 days knowing the bump under my clothes was a baby that was no longer alive..
It's just so sad. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
It is terribly sad and made worse by having to go through the birth.
SANDS has a really great booklet called When A Baby Dies Before Labour Begins. It's available on their website and just helps prepare you for going through this. Your friend can also contact SANDS now if she and her partner would like support.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A friend of mine went full term, went past her due date & her baby stopped moving. He was stillborn. She had had trouble conceiving him too.
She's now adopted a gorgeous son & she is a fantastic mother.
The funeral of her baby was one of the saddest days. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear of your news. Even though your not local to her pick up the phone and support her that way her just hearing your voice will let her know you are there for her xx |
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"It is terribly sad and made worse by having to go through the birth.
SANDS has a really great booklet called When A Baby Dies Before Labour Begins. It's available on their website and just helps prepare you for going through this. Your friend can also contact SANDS now if she and her partner would like support.
"
I'm hoping the hospital gave her advice re counselling etc they did with me when I had my miscarriage. |
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know of someone going through the same ...natural birth ...named the baby ..funeral ...register the birth and the death and then start disposing of babys clothes and toys ...its aparently a faulty gene one of the parents carries ...truly awful |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"It is terribly sad and made worse by having to go through the birth.
SANDS has a really great booklet called When A Baby Dies Before Labour Begins. It's available on their website and just helps prepare you for going through this. Your friend can also contact SANDS now if she and her partner would like support.
I'm hoping the hospital gave her advice re counselling etc they did with me when I had my miscarriage. "
It can be a bit hit and miss with some hospitals.
I was lucky as there was a SANDS counsellor assigned to the hospital when my son died. When I had a baby die before labour and I had to go through full induced labour there wasn't one. However, I had trained as a SANDS counsellor by then so I could tap into help.
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"My housemate had her 12 week scan last Monday, no heart beat. She has to wait till this Wednesday to have a termination. "
That's a long time to wait.
Sorry to hear about your housemate.
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"Tell her to ask for a re scan before they induce her.
My friend was told her baby had no heart beat and she made them check again when she went back. She now has a beautiful 6 year old daughter."
im with red on this best to check again other than that my sympathy |
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It's easy to read this thread and tiptoe away quietly but this is sad news and I'm sorry to hear it. I've known it happen to some couples I know and they've gone on to have healthy and happy families. Sometimes these things happen and it's sad, but life is full of imperfections that somehow makes it perfect. All you can do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep going. It's the sad times that make the happy times all the better. |
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"Tell her to ask for a re scan before they induce her.
My friend was told her baby had no heart beat and she made them check again when she went back. She now has a beautiful 6 year old daughter.
im with red on this best to check again other than that my sympathy"
absolutely agree with this, i also know someone who got told that she had lost the baby and was going in for her D&C but the nurse decided to just have a quick double check and there the baby was, alive and kicking. She went through such highs and lows because of that.
I dont want to give your friend false hope but she should definitely have a second scan to be sure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Big big big hugs my friend went thro this she took pics n had cuddles n named him George he was perfectly formed. No one knows why this happens but there must be a good reason. Xxcxxccxxx |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Tell her to ask for a re scan before they induce her.
My friend was told her baby had no heart beat and she made them check again when she went back. She now has a beautiful 6 year old daughter.
im with red on this best to check again other than that my sympathy
absolutely agree with this, i also know someone who got told that she had lost the baby and was going in for her D&C but the nurse decided to just have a quick double check and there the baby was, alive and kicking. She went through such highs and lows because of that.
I dont want to give your friend false hope but she should definitely have a second scan to be sure."
I thought a second scan was standard? It was for me and a colleague had to have a second scan before her ERPC this year.
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"Tell her to ask for a re scan before they induce her.
My friend was told her baby had no heart beat and she made them check again when she went back. She now has a beautiful 6 year old daughter.
im with red on this best to check again other than that my sympathy
absolutely agree with this, i also know someone who got told that she had lost the baby and was going in for her D&C but the nurse decided to just have a quick double check and there the baby was, alive and kicking. She went through such highs and lows because of that.
I dont want to give your friend false hope but she should definitely have a second scan to be sure.
I thought a second scan was standard? It was for me and a colleague had to have a second scan before her ERPC this year.
"
i can't comment as to what is standard practice, only what this person went through and it is my understanding that this scan was not usual practice when going for the procedure she was going for. i may be wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tell her to ask for a re scan before they induce her.
My friend was told her baby had no heart beat and she made them check again when she went back. She now has a beautiful 6 year old daughter.
im with red on this best to check again other than that my sympathy
absolutely agree with this, i also know someone who got told that she had lost the baby and was going in for her D&C but the nurse decided to just have a quick double check and there the baby was, alive and kicking. She went through such highs and lows because of that.
I dont want to give your friend false hope but she should definitely have a second scan to be sure.
I thought a second scan was standard? It was for me and a colleague had to have a second scan before her ERPC this year.
"
I'm positive this is the case. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It must be so hard to have to wait those few days as well, poor girl 
Just try and be there for her as much as you can, I went through a miscarriage and I felt totally alone. Her hormones will be all over the place as well which doesn't help at all.
On the plus side, it means she can conceive, and it's extremely likely that next time it'll all go perfectly for her. |
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"It must be so hard to have to wait those few days as well, poor girl
Just try and be there for her as much as you can, I went through a miscarriage and I felt totally alone. Her hormones will be all over the place as well which doesn't help at all.
On the plus side, it means she can conceive, and it's extremely likely that next time it'll all go perfectly for her."
.
We know she can conceive she already has 2.
Thanks everyone for your kind words x |
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