FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Ladies, can you help me?
Ladies, can you help me?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We've been on this site for almost a year now and have had one meet. A reason as to why we have only met one person is some women don't find my boyfriend attractive.
So I wanted to put it to the women of fab to tell me if you think he is fit or not when we aren't asking to meet.
Message for pictures |
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"We've been on this site for almost a year now and have had one meet. A reason as to why we have only met one person is some women don't find my boyfriend attractive.
So I wanted to put it to the women of fab to tell me if you think he is fit or not when we aren't asking to meet.
Message for pictures "
Okay. I'll help out. Send me a face pic please. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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God no! I know he's fit, wouldn't be with him otherwise.
It's just that's the reason we get turned down most of the time. I wanted to reassure him that he is attractive. By asking all of you lovelies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"God no! I know he's fit, wouldn't be with him otherwise.
It's just that's the reason we get turned down most of the time. I wanted to reassure him that he is attractive. By asking all of you lovelies "
People are attracted to all different types of people. Everyone is attractive to someone. |
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Clearly not a lady but the couple of pics of him show he's certainly got a much better body than me. But then I guess for a lot of people (me included it's all about the face)
Or maybe it's just an excuse that they're giving you because you've only had one meet & they judge you on that? Vicious circle that one. |
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By *ina75Woman
over a year ago
Stone |
"We've been on this site for almost a year now and have had one meet. A reason as to why we have only met one person is some women don't find my boyfriend attractive.
So I wanted to put it to the women of fab to tell me if you think he is fit or not when we aren't asking to meet.
Message for pictures "
No need for pics. For me personally I would say thank you but no thanks. Your profile reads that he likes to be dominated, tied down etc. That is not for all women, personally I prefer to be in a more submissive role to the males and more dominant with females.
It isn't something that makes him less attractive as a person, it works for you guys and that's what is most important, however it is something that I know from past experiences doesn't work well for me.
And like many others have said in loads of other forum posts all over, you are looking for single women, we are in very high demand, and get loads of messages each day, we have the luxury of being able to be very choosy, and most of us take advantage of that right. |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
If 90% of your respondents tell you he's fit it won't make any difference if they are miles away or aren't what you are into.
Work with what you have, instead. Tart up your profile and do some really good imaginative pics of him  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't like having face pics in public. If you'd like to help just message us xxx"
How does it help you?
If everyone says "er yep! He's got a face like an arsehole" what does that change?
That's his face and you're stuck with it.
I don't see what you're hoping to solve. ...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would have thought it's only the opinions of those you are potentially meeting that need to find him attractive. It's no good to you to know that I find him attractive as we won't be meeting anyway |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I didn't know that our profile stars that he was mainly into being dominated and tied down. He likes that but he does prefer to be the dominant 9 times out of ten. I will have a look through our profile and jazz it up a bit more and take some more imaginative pictures of him tonight. Any ideas on what kind of pics xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would have thought it's only the opinions of those you are potentially meeting that need to find him attractive. It's no good to you to know that I find him attractive as we won't be meeting anyway"
Very true but all I was looking for is people general opinion as we haven't had much luck and I know it's getting to him a bit. So thought this would help boost hai confidence x |
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"We've been on this site for almost a year now and have had one meet. A reason as to why we have only met one person is some women don't find my boyfriend attractive.
So I wanted to put it to the women of fab to tell me if you think he is fit or not when we aren't asking to meet.
Message for pictures "
. Why not add a few full body pictures including your face and if necessary use digital imaging software to blur your face . Your comments about each other in the profile might not help as some might consider them to be arrogant . Why not add full body pictures and then list your hobbies and interests .People can then make their own decisions . |
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"Don't like having face pics in public. If you'd like to help just message us xxx
How does it help you?
If everyone says "er yep! He's got a face like an arsehole" what does that change?
That's his face and you're stuck with it.
I don't see what you're hoping to solve. ... "
This  |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
I agree with the points above that it sounds like he is looking to be dominated. Also, many people look for equal play on here. I certainly would not play dom/sub via fab - it requires much more trust than a casual fab meet engenders.
Also, you are both young, and for many females, meeting people younger than their own children is a no go. The cannot accommodate will put a lot of single ladies off too - are you really expecting them to accept a strange couple into their home?
I'm not anywhere near you, but there are a few red flags from my point of _iew, so it would be a no from me, regardless of whether he was the best looking bloke ever or not.
Also, people may be using the "Sorry I don't fancy him" as a polite get out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don't like having face pics in public. If you'd like to help just message us xxx
How does it help you?
If everyone says "er yep! He's got a face like an arsehole" what does that change?
That's his face and you're stuck with it.
I don't see what you're hoping to solve. ...
This "
Being called not genuine because I choose to ignore comments doesn't mean squat.
The whole point of this is to prove to HIM not me that he is attractive.
Would I really newish someone who I thought looked like a bum hole?
Come on people read the whole thread before throwing poop around x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I agree with the points above that it sounds like he is looking to be dominated. Also, many people look for equal play on here. I certainly would not play dom/sub via fab - it requires much more trust than a casual fab meet engenders.
Also, you are both young, and for many females, meeting people younger than their own children is a no go. The cannot accommodate will put a lot of single ladies off too - are you really expecting them to accept a strange couple into their home?
I'm not anywhere near you, but there are a few red flags from my point of _iew, so it would be a no from me, regardless of whether he was the best looking bloke ever or not.
Also, people may be using the "Sorry I don't fancy him" as a polite get out."
Never thought of it like that, it's where we are inexperienced. We think of Dom/sub play in a different way to a hardened swinger. We are looking for someone to play with together equally.
Our age doesn't help but oh well also not being able to accommodate means we can't host at home. We can arrange a hotel if need be. All depends on the person |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
Honestly, if he is that insecure about his looks, and the opinions of strangers affect his self-esteem in either direction... I would suggest you look at whether this is the right road for you to be on just now?
Fab is not an ego boost. Its hard going, and can be tough on the most self-assured. It can undermine confidence, and if you cannot accept the knocks and rejections, then its possibly not the right thing for you both just now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Being called not genuine because I choose to ignore comments doesn't mean squat.
"
That ISN'T why I said it. Just to clarify.
You both seem in good shape to not have any meets in a year I would suggest the problem lies elsewhere ....if you are in fact serious. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Honestly, if he is that insecure about his looks, and the opinions of strangers affect his self-esteem in either direction... I would suggest you look at whether this is the right road for you to be on just now?
Fab is not an ego boost. Its hard going, and can be tough on the most self-assured. It can undermine confidence, and if you cannot accept the knocks and rejections, then its possibly not the right thing for you both just now. "
Not looking for an ego boost, he was just starting to loose faith in the site. This was to show him that he is liked and that there are loads of genuine women here who find him attractive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly, if he is that insecure about his looks, and the opinions of strangers affect his self-esteem in either direction... I would suggest you look at whether this is the right road for you to be on just now?
Fab is not an ego boost. Its hard going, and can be tough on the most self-assured. It can undermine confidence, and if you cannot accept the knocks and rejections, then its possibly not the right thing for you both just now. "
I concur with this statement 100% |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Being called not genuine because I choose to ignore comments doesn't mean squat.
That ISN'T why I said it. Just to clarify.
You both seem in good shape to not have any meets in a year I would suggest the problem lies elsewhere ....if you are in fact serious. "
Not having meets in 3/4 of a year to be accurate. That's down to not having time to meet due to other commitments. Hate how people on these forums judge and tell you how you shouldn't be here for what ever reason. Or who tell you you arent serious. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Being called not genuine because I choose to ignore comments doesn't mean squat.
That ISN'T why I said it. Just to clarify.
You both seem in good shape to not have any meets in a year I would suggest the problem lies elsewhere ....if you are in fact serious.
Not having meets in 3/4 of a year to be accurate. That's down to not having time to meet due to other commitments. "
So nothing to do with your BF's looks now then?
So the problem is your time constraints and fuck all do with him not being attractive.
Well that's not how I read your opening post.
/I'm out now. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The people you message,are they super fit,really attractive people who are looking for "exceptional" people? "
No, I mean we have messaged those types of people. We message everyone who takes our fancy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Being called not genuine because I choose to ignore comments doesn't mean squat.
That ISN'T why I said it. Just to clarify.
You both seem in good shape to not have any meets in a year I would suggest the problem lies elsewhere ....if you are in fact serious.
Not having meets in 3/4 of a year to be accurate. That's down to not having time to meet due to other commitments.
So nothing to do with your BF's looks now then?
So the problem is your time constraints and fuck all do with him not being attractive.
Well that's not how I read your opening post.
/I'm out now. "
Re read my opening paragraph then. |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"
Being called not genuine because I choose to ignore comments doesn't mean squat.
That ISN'T why I said it. Just to clarify.
You both seem in good shape to not have any meets in a year I would suggest the problem lies elsewhere ....if you are in fact serious.
Not having meets in 3/4 of a year to be accurate. That's down to not having time to meet due to other commitments. Hate how people on these forums judge and tell you how you shouldn't be here for what ever reason. Or who tell you you arent serious. "
Not having time to meet is a big change from the we can't meet because people say he is ugly... changing facts will not endear you to people.
The area you are in, get yourselves along to a club - there people will be able to see more of your personality and also get some verifications if thats what matters. It also cuts out the accommodation issue.
I would also consider your expectations from the site - how often were you looking to meet - bearing in mind you are searching in the most in demand category, and with age, accommodation and a few other issues, might not score too highly on what single females are looking for... |
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"Honestly, if he is that insecure about his looks, and the opinions of strangers affect his self-esteem in either direction... I would suggest you look at whether this is the right road for you to be on just now?
Fab is not an ego boost. Its hard going, and can be tough on the most self-assured. It can undermine confidence, and if you cannot accept the knocks and rejections, then its possibly not the right thing for you both just now. "
. Nice post . Fab can be a totally ruthless environment and everyone will have lots of rejections. People are on her to satisfy their physical pleasure, it is not an necessarily an environment in which you seek to boost self confidence . If that is crucial maybe upload some good photos and ask members to fab or get him to create a single profile but stating that he is attached and hopefully he might get lots of interest and fabs . Luckily you are both going so time is on your side . |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
Don't understand why you (or he) cares a jot what anyone on here thinks about what he looks like. You find each other gorgeous, no one else gets a say. I'm not going to ask for a photo because its none of my business but I will say put another 1 or 2 pics of him up maybe; back or bum, legs, or posed pictures. Your pictures are quite lovely. His are a bit naff selfie.
Single women who will meet a couple are like rocking horse shit, and every couple wants one either because the woman is bi (or the man would love her to be bi) or the guy wants to have some fun with lots of women.
Sooooo you have lots of competition.
good luck
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Being called not genuine because I choose to ignore comments doesn't mean squat.
That ISN'T why I said it. Just to clarify.
You both seem in good shape to not have any meets in a year I would suggest the problem lies elsewhere ....if you are in fact serious.
Not having meets in 3/4 of a year to be accurate. That's down to not having time to meet due to other commitments.
So nothing to do with your BF's looks now then?
So the problem is your time constraints and fuck all do with him not being attractive.
Well that's not how I read your opening post.
/I'm out now.
Re read my opening paragraph then. "
I read it twice and came up with the same confusion....either you're not meeting because you don't have time, or because you get turned down because women say they don't fancy your bloke, which is it? Nobody is judging or saying you're not genuine, a few people have questioned what the point of some faceless strangers saying he's fit or not is, if they're not the people you're going to meet anyway  and I'm inclined to agree with that.
For me, I don't do couples anyway, but I'd need to see a LOT more about the man on the profile to it to appeal and to even get past the first message. This doesn't have to be face photos but there's a lot more of you than of him at present. I can see how that would work if you were looking to meet men, but generally with women you both have to appeal to her.
As others have said, your particular dynamics may also be putting some off. That's not to say you should change anything about what you're into, but accept that it is going to reduce your pool of people who would be interested. Good luck. |
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"Honestly, if he is that insecure about his looks, and the opinions of strangers affect his self-esteem in either direction... I would suggest you look at whether this is the right road for you to be on just now?
Fab is not an ego boost. Its hard going, and can be tough on the most self-assured. It can undermine confidence, and if you cannot accept the knocks and rejections, then its possibly not the right thing for you both just now.
I concur with this statement 100%"
and again here |
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"We've been on this site for almost a year now and have had one meet. A reason as to why we have only met one person is some women don't find my boyfriend attractive.
So I wanted to put it to the women of fab to tell me if you think he is fit or not when we aren't asking to meet.
Message for pictures "
I feel that any couple who swing jointly have to be totaly on point with each other and tight together Before they venture into swinging and sharing things with others .
Never ever would you see me ( mrs) or infact alot of couple we know post such a thread ... Why? Cos ta be honest what you have together as a couple should no way be influenced by total strangers and their opinions to either of you . You are together ... There will be people who wanna meet you both ... Some may try ta meet seperate ... IF you both know what you looking for and want , consentrate on that and not on those who don't find one or both of you attractive
Ya need thick skin on here! And any cracks that are shown to others can and will be used against you! Not every one is nice here .... Find those that are and who you both happy with having fun with .... And visa versa ... Good Luck
Ps the only person you Man needs worry about, who thinks he is Hot ... Ultimatly is YOU! Insecurities and any lack of confidence will not get ya far here at all  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"God no! I know he's fit, wouldn't be with him otherwise.
It's just that's the reason we get turned down most of the time. I wanted to reassure him that he is attractive. By asking all of you lovelies "
So your only with him because he is fit ? That sentence alone would put us off as it suggests there is nothing else good about him . And that you could be shallow. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is getting a bit silly. I'm not with him just because he's fit. I'm with him because I'm mqdly in love with him. We haven't had many meets as ONE of the reasons is people say he's not my type. Which has made him think that he's the one stopping us when we choose to meet.
I don't need people to tell me what I know or to reassure me to be with him. I may have not made loads of sense in my previous posts. Thank you to everyone who just simply answered the question. |
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By *o30Woman
over a year ago
Lincoln |
If you are happy with him what does it matter what other people think?
If they say that he's not attractive then no point in continuing chatting with them, move on & keep looking.
Hope you find someone who will meet you both x |
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