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Why are some parents so aggressive when watching their kids play sport?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Over the years, I have watched a lot of football, rugby, netball and many other sports matches. I have noticed though, that the parents watching appear to be getting more and more aggressive.
I've recently seen a father actually pull his son off the pitch, as he felt he wasn't playing well enough. I've had to step in when a father started shouting at one of my young female relatives. The language on the sidelines is getting more and more atrocious - the kids are fine, it's the adults!
I can't understand why they get so het up over it all and they end up marring the children's enjoyment of the sport. Once a month now, one football match is played in complete silence, the parents are not allowed to shout at all. It is bliss compared to the other games.
So is it getting worse or have I just come across a bad run of parents lately?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I play football on a Saturday and we are normally on the same pitch as a group of what I'd say was 14 year olds who play before us and we often watch their game first Nd as you say some of language that the adults use watching is ridiculous our games don't even end up sounding like that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah I'd agree with you! On my son's football team one of the dads constantly shouts at his son and orders him about! I have to bite my lip so hard it bled once!! 
If I was his son I'd just walk off and refuse to play! Poor kid! X |
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By *1968Man
over a year ago
Wokingham |
A few years ago when my son was 8 he put in quite an aggressive tackle, in all honesty it was horrendous.
However the manager of the other team who turned out to be the father of the boy my son tackled ran on the pitch, ignored his own son and started spitting obscenities at my son which culminated in him aggressively shoving my son and pushing him to the ground.
Im not an aggressive person but it took most of our parents and some of theirs to pull me off the child-abusing bastard!
Anyway i agree it seems to have got worse but the aggression of parents at boys matches is not half as bad as at girls matches (my daughter also plays). and its always the same 'type' of person. Stupid uneducated arseholes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was a referee at children's matches at all ages up to U13's. I did it for about eight years. It was horrendous. I was threatened with all sorts and it put me off football so much that I moved my son to cricket which was a much more pleasant experience.
One good thing happened when I was refereeing though. I was in charge of a league decider at Broadwater Farm in Tottenham. They had won the league the four years previous and only needed a point to win this year. There was a massive turnout from the estate and there were bbq's set up and all sorts. I gave a free kick when there goalie fell out the area but never let go of the ball. The opposition scored and Broadwater Farm lost and therefore came second. Everyone of the parents shook my hand after the game and they invited me and their opponents to the BBQ and let them have a trophy ceremony. It was a lovely gesture and restored my faith in the game. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I take my son to rugby and have to say it's a very good natured well behaved crowd of parents. Even when our little pride and joys get absolutely layed out it's just accepted as part of the game. On the other hand I have stopped taken my other son to football as I cannot stand the parents. Constantly moaning and whining about everything.
I think a lot of it is parents playing out their lack of sporting achievement through thier kids. Trying to win through thier kids because they never did when they was younger. But then this doesn't explain why I don't see it at rugby. Hmmmmm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's called living your life through your kids. Pushing kids to achieve what they never could seems more common than is comfortable. Half of the knackers standing on the touchline could' even run for a bus. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's called living your life through your kids. Pushing kids to achieve what they never could seems more common than is comfortable. Half of the knackers standing on the touchline could' even run for a bus. "
There's such big money in professional sport and you hear stories of David Beckham's dad and many others pushing their kids to sporting greatness and them into a life of luxury. It comes out on the touchline and at home, it sickens me |
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"We experienced the opposite. It wasn't at football but at sports day, I would often be the only mum shouting encouragement at our kids while everyone else stood about politely."
I'm the same. Whatever it was, if one of mine where competing; athletics, cheer leading competitions, school plays/performances, the rest of us were always the loudest with shouting encouragement during, or applause after.
Can remember one of my lads being really upset coming last in the final of the county championships. Cheered up once I told him to look at it from the perspective that he's now officially the 8th fastest person for his age over 100m in Leicestershire. |
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"I think it's called living your life through your kids. Pushing kids to achieve what they never could seems more common than is comfortable. Half of the knackers standing on the touchline could' even run for a bus. "
Sad, but so true, and ultimately futile..vast majority of children never become professional sportsmen ...and many just give up sport when old enough not to be bullied.
Rugby is not immune from being over zealous , believe me Independent schools have their fair share of over expectant bullying parents. |
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By *arkb400Man
over a year ago
manchester |
I run a junior football team and it opens your eyes to the behaviours of not really the kids but the parents. In my opinion these rogue parents will put off there kids from playing sport.As usual it is only a small minority. I honestly think most of these clowns have never played the game and are living out their dreams through their kids. |
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I recall a silly match being played at a sports centre for one of my friend's children's birthdays (and when I say "silly", I mean that these kids were about 2-5 years old with one 12 year old).
Now, the 12 year old plays competitively for a local team, and being much bigger than the other kids, the coach obviously asked him to help the other kids out and go easy on them - cue his Mother screaming obscenities like a banshee asking "what the Hell" he was doing when he gently passed the ball to a waddling child.
Yes, even against toddlers, she expected him to go in all guns blazing and win the game.
The coach had a very firm word with her which then broke into an argument involving the other parents.
Definitely a "WTF?!" moment. 
- Amy. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The football team my son plays for couldn't be any different. In fact us parents are often guilty of not actually watching the game half the time a we're too busy chatting.....it always surprises us when now and then we come across a team with aggressive parents as it really isn't the norm in the league my son plays in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it has got a lot better. Coaches are trained now to encourage development rather than just winning and to communicate that to parents. I've been coaching for years and through proper communication with parents and players it is easy to create a really positive environment win, lose or draw.
If you see bad behaviour from parents, take your team off the field of play and report them.
I had a game last week, brilliant opposition, brilliant hard fought game and a great chat with the opposition coach and parents after the game, the way it should be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is a particular issue with football. The culture of the sport is unpleasant and that's largely driven by the professional game - kids diving, parents (and kids) arguing with the ref.
But as others say there are a minority of idiots across all sports. There are still plenty of coaches that graduated from the 'Shout Loudest' Academy too.
Part of sport is learning to deal with all sorts tho.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Good to see some positive examples too.
I know a lot of the coaches are parents themselves and give a lot of their free time to coach and referee.
I do generally know the parents I don't want to stand near on the touchline now ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Part of the problem is that a lot of parents think their kid is the next David Beckham, what they don't realise is that very, very few kids will make it to the pro ranks. Even of those that do make it to academies I think the ratio is something daft like 1:5000 will make a living from the game. So what they should focus on is developing a love of the game that might mean their kids are playing in 20/30/40 years time and getting enjoyment from it. They certainly won't learn to love it if everytime they make a mistake they have a bunch of adults on the sidelines screaming at them! |
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I can't stand it! It's detrimental to a child's development in sport. At that age, they're supposed to be enjoying themselves while developing. Take the enjoyment out and it becomes a chore and that's when children are not bothered and don't fulfil their potential. |
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"Part of the problem is that a lot of parents think their kid is the next David Beckham, what they don't realise is that very, very few kids will make it to the pro ranks. Even of those that do make it to academies I think the ratio is something daft like 1:5000 will make a living from the game. So what they should focus on is developing a love of the game that might mean their kids are playing in 20/30/40 years time and getting enjoyment from it. They certainly won't learn to love it if everytime they make a mistake they have a bunch of adults on the sidelines screaming at them!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's called living your life through your kids. Pushing kids to achieve what they never could seems more common than is comfortable. Half of the knackers standing on the touchline could' even run for a bus. "
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