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Non Typical status updates

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

just a bit of fun and probably done before but how about making up some status updates you'd never see?

From a single guy......

Please ladies, I'm inundated, no more messages until I get through my to-do list

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can't play this week sorry - crabs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/04/15 10:38:43]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 20/04/15 10:38:43]"

Spat my coffee out laughing at this one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 20/04/15 10:38:43]

Spat my coffee out laughing at this one"

I had to remove it sorry but I did enjoy typing it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You should see what goes up on the fab status challenge game

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Anyone in Brussels airport business lounge if so lets get a latte then fuck lol

actually true

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By *evaquitCouple over a year ago

Catthorpe

'Sand paper like tongue immediately required for sack, back n crack, salon appointment was double booked'.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have HIV but I have a positive outlook.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reformed Paedo seeks trusting lady with children

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am not leaving, don't look at me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No nsa please.. commitment only...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Free to meet any time at yours due to sudden and unforeseen spell off work..."

Jeremy Clarkson.

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

I put a status update once about how satisfying it is to break the foil on a Kit Kat with my thumb...

My favourite response to that was:

"Its fun, isn't it?

Fancy a blowjob?"...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Status updates you are never likely to see. EVER.

From a typical FS lady:

"Any1 got ten mins to cum round ours while me bloke goes for his paper. Proper gagging for sum spunk ova me tits!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Status updates you are never likely to see. EVER.

From a typical FS lady:

"Any1 got ten mins to cum round ours while me bloke goes for his paper. Proper gagging for sum spunk ova me tits!""

Bloody hell, I sent that exact same message just 10 minutes ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No nsa please.. commitment only..."

So apt

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By *nFairnessMan over a year ago

The Four Corners

DFS facebook page.

We regret to inform you the DFS sale will be ending.

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By *rinking-in-laCouple over a year ago

Bristol

"Ok guys, one liners only please, we cannot be arsed reading more than that."

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By *nigmatic1Woman over a year ago

A seaside town near you!

Come and have a go if you think you're HARD enough

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Had enough of timewasters on here and for personal reasons I feel we can no longer partake in this site so message with details, number ext and keep in touch ..

User no longer on site .......a few hours later ....

I'm back !!!!! Everyone take note

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"I'm going to delete this profile 3 weeks on Sunday..,"

"I'm going to delete this profile on Sunday..,"

"I'm going to delete this profile tonight..."

"Great weekend. Anyone fancy a meet?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""I'm going to delete this profile 3 weeks on Sunday..,"

"I'm going to delete this profile on Sunday..,"

"I'm going to delete this profile tonight..."

"Great weekend. Anyone fancy a meet?"

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