FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > what do you have to offer?
what do you have to offer?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When looking for a potential meet??
Us/me.. A bloody good laugh, sensual, sex, adaptability... If it doesn't pan out, a spare bed...  |
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Fun, friendly, easy to get on with and a spare bed  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cake. |
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not a thing, we're one of those fake profiles |
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By *icky999Man
over a year ago
warrington |
Free toiletries and mint imperials 
what more do you want?  |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
I offer the full girlfriend experience... I can sulk, withhold sex and not talk all the way through an evening, sat texting my mates and painting my nails.
Or... a damn good laugh, occasionally some naughtiness, and a bit of fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm polite, well mannered, and pretty good fun (or at least I hope I am, and have been told!) I'm also very horny and love meeting new people and trying new things. |
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My last rolo
Free condoms
A windbreak
Mouldy Stilton in my handbag
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"My last rolo
Free condoms
A windbreak
Mouldy Stilton in my handbag
"
all on buy one get two free? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I offer the full girlfriend experience... I can sulk, withhold sex and not talk all the way through an evening, sat texting my mates and painting my nails.
Or... a damn good laugh, occasionally some naughtiness, and a bit of fun."
See this is what I'm talking about!! Arse! Move |
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"My last rolo
Free condoms
A windbreak
Mouldy Stilton in my handbag
all on buy one get two free? "
Lol
My ass is the windbreak |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My last rolo
Free condoms
A windbreak
Mouldy Stilton in my handbag
"
I can imagine  |
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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago
A seaside town near you! |
A laugh, giggles and a share of my pork scratchings |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can accomdate as well"
Diamond we are on the bus. Can we request brekkie before late check out? |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
A cock,
Oh, uh, oops.
Um, an adventurous wicked streak, intelligence and imagination, a few interesting kinks, an amazing toy bag and experience using its contents, nice eyes and smile, big boobs (for those that like that sort of thing), a sense of humour
and as much free cat fluff as anyone could want |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll turn up if we agree to meet! I'm one of those people that actually realised how unfair it is to play people and let them down!
I'd like to think I'm easy to get on with, respectful of boundaries and wishes, clean, hygienic, and I'll try my best to please!
And I promise I won't be a twat if you turn me down or if in not right for you!
Oh and I can bring chocolate if anyone wants it. Everyone likes chocolate right? Chocolate anyone???  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A laugh, giggles and a share of my pork scratchings "
Oh hello lovely bloody nora long time no see!! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't drink so I'm a cheap date.
I'm on a diet so I won't want to share/steal your desert.
I'll make sure you are home safe and sound before 10pm.
I don't pick my nose.
Or fart.
Much.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good company, deep conversation, plenty of jokes and laughs, I'm anything but boring to share a table in a bar with, as for the sex, I'm loving, sensual, passionate and gentle, I won't just have sex with your trying to reach an orgasm as quickly as possible, I want us both to enjoy it, both to feel good and energised afterwards (on the inside anyway, of course we'll both be tired ). Sex should be a positive, exciting experience, and that's what I both seek and aim to deliver. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jack Daniels and pro-plus. I like my victims pliable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pure unadulterated filth   |
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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago
A seaside town near you! |
"A laugh, giggles and a share of my pork scratchings
Oh hello lovely bloody nora long time no see!! X"
Hehe she is back!!!! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Full unadulterated use of my body and limbs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Free toiletries and mint imperials
what more do you want? "
Nothing nothing at all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tits and a muff
That's all you need on here isn't it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A sense of humour, a cheeky smile and a body that likes to play. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A laugh, giggles and a share of my pork scratchings
Oh hello lovely bloody nora long time no see!! X
Hehe she is back!!!! Xx "
Whoop whoop and it's nice to see xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A sense of humour, a cheeky smile and a body that likes to play. "
Ok I'm overting my eyes. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Tits and a muff
That's all you need on here isn't it "
pmsl!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fuck knows what I have to offer. Guys keep bloody messaging me though. Strange people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A night to remember"
Indeed. Are you in?
Wahahahaha. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tits and a muff
That's all you need on here isn't it "
Shurrup you! Quietly delicious you are. And before you start chuntering, I know you will, I've seen yer!!! |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
My response to some of the posts on here is I bloody wish! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My charm.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tits and a muff
That's all you need on here isn't it
pmsl! "
Don't encourage her V you'll shit your pants.. If we pay a visit! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On a serious note I have nothing to offer really besides sex
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"Tits and a muff
That's all you need on here isn't it "
havent got those so that cuts us men out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me and ahem him will make your sides need stitching,we do warped speeches.
Booking very cheap, 4 cans of fosters and were yours. 
Her |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
A laid back couple (one in particular, lol), down to earth, quite witty and a bit funny at times verging on the stupidity. Just a normal bunch tbh. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"On a serious note I have nothing to offer really besides sex
"
Don't be ridiculous! You're lovely, good company, easy to chat to, attractive... You've loads to offer, you loon! |
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"Fuck knows what I have to offer. Guys keep bloody messaging me though. Strange people. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My charm.... "
And having met you also young man..
Yes charming.. Are you fuck!
Adorable.. Definately |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tits and a muff
That's all you need on here isn't it "
What about the rest of ya? |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Tits and a muff
That's all you need on here isn't it
pmsl!
Don't encourage her V you'll shit your pants.. If we pay a visit! "
I'll have you know I have excellent control of my bowels.
Mind you, I started taking probiotics a few weeks ago. Initially they made my digestive system a little, um, active! (I let out huge farts every time I had an orgasm ) |
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"Fuck knows what I have to offer. Guys keep bloody messaging me though. Strange people. "
It might be the hat. I like your hat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tits and a muff
That's all you need on here isn't it "
Interestingly, your tits and muff post got a couple of responses - my in depth explanation of what I enjoy from a meet and what I have to give got completely overlooked... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are we essentially writing our own pre verifications here.....
See....humble was gonna be one of my qualities....but you cant brag humble as a quality....it makes no sense....
So fuck knows...I'm crap otherwise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A laid back couple (one in particular, lol), down to earth, quite witty and a bit funny at times verging on the stupidity. Just a normal bunch tbh."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fuck knows what I have to offer. Guys keep bloody messaging me though. Strange people.
It might be the hat. I like your hat. "
No one touches the hat.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tits and a muff
That's all you need on here isn't it
What about the rest of ya? "
Oh sorry a mouth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My charm.... "
I wanna meet ya so I can have a bash on yer bikes (i am shit and will crash).....so you've got that
(he'll go unlos now....just wait and see) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tits and a muff
That's all you need on here isn't it
What about the rest of ya?
Oh sorry a mouth "
Piss off.....every fucked has a body and a face with a mouth in it...
Yer brain woman....I like what's in there see..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tits and a muff
That's all you need on here isn't it
Interestingly, your tits and muff post got a couple of responses - my in depth explanation of what I enjoy from a meet and what I have to give got completely overlooked..."
I rest my case |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tits and a muff
That's all you need on here isn't it
What about the rest of ya?
Oh sorry a mouth
Piss off.....every fucked has a body and a face with a mouth in it...
Yer brain woman....I like what's in there see....."
*fucker...not fucked.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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a juicy fat arse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Someone to listen to you if you want to talk,
If you are tired a place to rest your head, Someone to cuddle if you are Feeling affectionate
Or a combination of Fun sex and Chocolate if that's what you really want
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My body weight in nasal and ear hair and balls that drag along the floor |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A good giggle, good sex (I hope), respectful. I can be one or all of your 5 a day?! And I can also be very filthy.
And if these fail.
I can moonwalk, do backwards and forwards rolls. And can even make a dead chicken out of a t-towel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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a big belly to rest your head on |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"a big belly to rest your head on "
Oh shit I didn't realise that was an option when I posted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tits and a muff
That's all you need on here isn't it "
Hahahahaha brilliant!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"a big belly to rest your head on "
Noooo
Her x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Pure unadulterated filth "
Open invite, but you know that dalin x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"a big belly to rest your head on "
ah but what if your head is employed elsewhere! |
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On two occasions I told myself I would buy the couple a drink if she dresses to impress and looks exactly like her pics, but the two of them beat me to it. Bless those couples! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A hot tub good wine and a couple of free beds
O and a bit of a laugh chill and frocks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tits and a muff
That's all you need on here isn't it
What about the rest of ya?
Oh sorry a mouth
Piss off.....every fucked has a body and a face with a mouth in it...
Yer brain woman....I like what's in there see.....
*fucker...not fucked...."
Bloody hell it was a joke if you knew me you'd know to take everything I say tongue in cheek
Thought seriously you do only need tits and a muff on here
OK what do I have to offer
Well I think I'm a nice person, told funny oddly even when I'm not trying to be calf muscles like a German shot putter for those who like a firm grip round their neck, I speak three languages fluently to covers all corners of our ever growing population unfortunately being from dudley English isn't one of them oh and I give great head |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tits and a muff
That's all you need on here isn't it
What about the rest of ya?
Oh sorry a mouth
Piss off.....every fucked has a body and a face with a mouth in it...
Yer brain woman....I like what's in there see.....
*fucker...not fucked....
Bloody hell it was a joke if you knew me you'd know to take everything I say tongue in cheek
Thought seriously you do only need tits and a muff on here
OK what do I have to offer
Well I think I'm a nice person, told funny oddly even when I'm not trying to be calf muscles like a German shot putter for those who like a firm grip round their neck, I speak three languages fluently to covers all corners of our ever growing population unfortunately being from dudley English isn't one of them oh and I give great head "
I'm well aware of your self debasing humour
I like that though....ya have to have some giggles with folk right?
Aye I didn't know about the languages though....ya trump me by one there...I only have two.....show off.
Firm grip around the neck....I'll take that though! All that cycling has paid dividends!
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An unforgettable experience..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My charm....
I wanna meet ya so I can have a bash on yer bikes (i am shit and will crash).....so you've got that
(he'll go unlos now....just wait and see) "
lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"a big belly to rest your head on
ah but what if your head is employed elsewhere!then they can rest their head on my belly......after
I've got a massive urge just to come lie on ya now mmmm please
Aww I would too......I'm getting sleepy and I could just fall asleep lovely on ya just now
Good for me but you'd have to put up with a snoring dribbling idiot on you  "
Which end your dribbling from? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"a big belly to rest your head on
ah but what if your head is employed elsewhere!then they can rest their head on my belly......after
I've got a massive urge just to come lie on ya now mmmm please
Aww I would too......I'm getting sleepy and I could just fall asleep lovely on ya just now
Good for me but you'd have to put up with a snoring dribbling idiot on you
Which end your dribbling from? "
I don't care.....I'll be asleep |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jaffa Cakes. Don't underestimate the seductive power of the Jaffa on the female! |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
May I change my answer? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jaffa Cakes. Don't underestimate the seductive power of the Jaffa on the female!"
Where's my shoes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mr Nutella usually gets a squeeky bed but lots of attention. Last time I also gave him posh whiskey.
I'm really quite a catch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"May I change my answer?"
Your gonna anyhow |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will turn up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jaffa Cakes. Don't underestimate the seductive power of the Jaffa on the female!
Where's my shoes "
Oh yeah....there's what's in your shoes too! I particularly like them bits too......forgot about that.....as you were |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"May I change my answer?
Your gonna anyhow "
Huh. Ok then, I won't! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A dirty mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jaffa Cakes. Don't underestimate the seductive power of the Jaffa on the female!
Where's my shoes "
Its working already |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jaffa Cakes. Don't underestimate the seductive power of the Jaffa on the female!"
Mmmmm....I luvre Jaffa Cakes! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Awesome cuddles...
And sensuous oily massages...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will turn up"
Your not even bacon flavoured now.....where's your u.s.p? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"May I change my answer?
Your gonna anyhow
Huh. Ok then, I won't! "
Awkward git  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1) cooking skills
2) cleaning skills
3) a motorbike |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"May I change my answer?
Your gonna anyhow
Huh. Ok then, I won't!
Awkward git "
You need to call them all hun, or babyyyyy I'll see you in Coventry!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A good laugh. Non stop banter. Fabulous kisses and a sensual touch.
...and most important of all. Me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pure unadulterated filth
Open invite, but you know that dalin x"
Indeedy |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"May I change my answer?
Your gonna anyhow
Huh. Ok then, I won't!
Awkward git "
And this is news? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A good laugh. Non stop banter. Fabulous kisses and a sensual touch.
...and most important of all. Me.
"
Mwahhhhh |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Pure unadulterated filth
Open invite, but you know that dalin x
Indeedy "
Don't get cocky now |
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By *ilberryMan
over a year ago
Scarborough |
A crap quick shag and the hotel bill |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A quick fuck and some haribos X |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"I offer the full girlfriend experience... I can sulk, withhold sex and not talk all the way through an evening, sat texting my mates and painting my nails.
Or... a damn good laugh, occasionally some naughtiness, and a bit of fun.
See this is what I'm talking about!! Arse! Move "
meet ya in the middle |
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By *ilberryMan
over a year ago
Scarborough |
Oh I forgot, a wasted journey! Just to make it worse? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Right,I've been informed that turning up isn't actually much to offer so I'll bend over and take it like a man. But I won't go quietly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"May I change my answer?
Your gonna anyhow
Huh. Ok then, I won't!
Awkward git
And this is news? "
More a reminder |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A good laugh. Non stop banter. Fabulous kisses and a sensual touch.
...and most important of all. Me.
"
And a yellow pages dude! Don't forget the yellow pages! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Right,I've been informed that turning up isn't actually much to offer so I'll bend over and take it like a man. But I won't go quietly
There we go! Volume.....you can offer volume...everyone likes that.... "
There it is,my shining light! I offer to make you deaf |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The rise and fall of chat banter and wonderful sexy playtimes .. oh we make a good brew before and after |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fun social and satisfying sex... |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"May I change my answer?
Your gonna anyhow
Huh. Ok then, I won't!
Awkward git
And this is news?
More a reminder "
For me or for you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"May I change my answer?
Your gonna anyhow
Huh. Ok then, I won't!
Awkward git
And this is news?
More a reminder
For me or for you? "
For us all I think |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"May I change my answer?
Your gonna anyhow
Huh. Ok then, I won't!
Awkward git
And this is news?
More a reminder
For me or for you?
For us all I think "
Nobody needs reminding, I'm sure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It won't hurt and it won't take long.
That's it I'm afraid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A blt in the morning.....with brie n no mayo.....in Ldls cheese n onion baked rolls.
So damn tasty |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
O' course, the best way to find out what I have to offer is to meet me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im not meeting but I give good conversation if you like chatting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sustainability for older women |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Half a bag of chips and a quick knee trembler.
...not really. I'll look at my veri's later and see if there is a common thread. |
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By *educedWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
Absolutely nothing. I am a vacuous decrepit vessel devoid of life...
On the plus side I live opposite Pizza Hut! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Speaking personally: a good sense of humour, a sense of fun, a never ceasing desire for approval and recognition, and an openness towards new experiences.
Speaking from Fab experience: Literally nothing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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More cake. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only for you though Jim "
Love you Rich. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fuck all, meet us at your peril |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"O' course, the best way to find out what I have to offer is to meet me "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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at least a nice hug if you ask |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A twinkle in my eye and a polite good evening to you . |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
Rudeness, enthusiasm, giggles, imagination, naughtiness hiding behind big innocent blue eyes and if all else fails a good natter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The opportunity to become an organ donor. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A Mutton Madrass |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Free sandwich afterwards
"
If you can walk to the kitchen to make a sandwich - we aren't done yet...., |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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lollipops |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One fruit pastel, an elastic band. A gobble bobble and 23p |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good banter, good imagination, good sex (hopefully)  ayne an after glow effect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pure unadulterated filth
Open invite, but you know that dalin x
Indeedy
Don't get cocky now "
Moi cocky |
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Swinging
Friendly, cheeky, fairly intelligent, can be naughty, helpful, listens.
For the other 60 percent who contact me about getting into the adult industry.
Good photographer, long proven record in adult film making, the porn king of Essex lol.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fun
Laughter
Connection
Filth
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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some thing extra |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A Mutton Madrass"
That's the first one that's appealed. You've pulled. See above for our contribution to see if we match. |
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By *icky999Man
over a year ago
warrington |
"some thing extra "
is it a jacuzzi? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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An extensive menu in my kitchen if all fails |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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An oral midget dressed in a man city kit with a tray balanced on its head for my cup of tea, oh, and sky sports. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A Mutton Madrass
That's the first one that's appealed. You've pulled. See above for our contribution to see if we match. "
Hehehe, If your really Hot I can throw in a few Kingfisher beers too, and maybe a free nan bread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd like to think intelligent conversation, a few laughs, good company, being a good host and some downright hot fun!
You'd have to ask my meets what they think though lol!! |
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By *irtydanMan
over a year ago
Blackpool |
"I'll turn up if we agree to meet! I'm one of those people that actually realised how unfair it is to play people and let them down!
I'd like to think I'm easy to get on with, respectful of boundaries and wishes, clean, hygienic, and I'll try my best to please!
And I promise I won't be a twat if you turn me down or if in not right for you!
Oh and I can bring chocolate if anyone wants it. Everyone likes chocolate right? Chocolate anyone??? "
this and i've quite a big cock |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fun, friendly, easy to get on with and a spare bed "
same and some toys to share |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Piss poor hygiene spunk in 20 seconds rape your biscuit Tin and fart why your rimming
Eww that last 1 even made me shudder where I get my sense of humour from God only knows |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A Mutton Madrass
That's the first one that's appealed. You've pulled. See above for our contribution to see if we match.
Hehehe, If your really Hot I can throw in a few Kingfisher beers too, and maybe a free nan bread"
Sold. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a cane.
Enough said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 17/04/15 14:07:21] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a fetish for being 175. |
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