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MENTAL ILLNESS
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What are you _iews on this regarding a meet?
Would you expect them to tell you like you would if they had something physically wrong with them.
Would it put you off playing with them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd only expect them to tell me if it was something that was going to have an impact on my interaction with them. So for example I met one bloke who was taking anti-depressants that made it really difficult for him to cum, but he wouldn't have needed to tell me otherwise! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it was something which impaired their judgement, or was likely to, then yes, I believe its responsible to know; because it may effect judgement prior to or during play.
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
There are some on here with mental issues where it's obvious they have with them making no mention of it, just take the time to talk and it comes out!
Not being sarcastic saying that by the way, am actually quite serious x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
No I don't expect people to tell me that and I doubt many people would feel the need to tell everyone they meet their mental health history
If they did then I'd weigh up whether or not I thought it would make any difference to me in meeting them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they start jumping on top of cars and pray to the god of tissues.... Run Away.
Sometimes its the only way to get the love eggs out...."
Speaking from personal experience are you  |
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Not sure what some people think is going to happen if they meet someone with a mental illness, its not catching and their unlikely to murder you mid shag.
Most people with mental illness with medication you are unlikely to tell.
I understand that some think they might not be able to make rational judgements but that's not common. Also if they where going through a phase of being unwell they probably wouldn't be meeting.
I don't hide mine but I don't feel the need to tell everyone I meet unless they are becoming a friend and would notice over a period of time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not sure what some people think is going to happen if they meet someone with a mental illness, its not catching and their unlikely to murder you mid shag.
Most people with mental illness with medication you are unlikely to tell.
I understand that some think they might not be able to make rational judgements but that's not common. Also if they where going through a phase of being unwell they probably wouldn't be meeting.
I don't hide mine but I don't feel the need to tell everyone I meet unless they are becoming a friend and would notice over a period of time"
Well said! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on the nature of the illness. I suffer from PTSD although after lots of counselling it's pretty much under control but I still get anxious in certain situations. I have no issues telling people that and I certainly don't hold things like that against people.
However. If they get a bit 'stabby' after a glass of Lambrini I'd possibly take exception with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are so many kinds of mental illness. It's good to be aware of this though especially if you want a regular thing with someone.
Also if they're on medication that can effect their sex life (some depression medications reduce libido and erections) it's a need to know.
But as long as it's under control there should be no issues playing with someone with mental illness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like many others have said, depends on the illness.
If it's something that *could* impact their behaviour and interaction during a meet which *could* possibly cause concern or distress for the person they are meeting, then it's only reasonable to expect that to be clear up front so an informed decision can be made.
If it's something under control that wouldn't impact a meet in any way and wouldn't impact one's behaviour then I would say there's no need to disclose anything at all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd prefer to know. Unless it's something that could make them violent it would not affect my judgement but idvprefer to know all the same. If i subsequently found out I'm not sure I'd care. Think I'm a bit on the fence now I think about it. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
We only know what people choose to tell us. We don't know if they are lying in what they choose to tell us.
Use your judgement about who you meet. If you have any doubts about someone then don't meet them. That little tickling at the back of your mind that makes you feel uneasy is as good as anything on here.
I am always open about my mental health - whether it is good or bad - but it's not the first thing on an opening message. My friends know and have seen me ill and well.
Most of us will have some periods of mental ill-health, even if only reactive and temporary, at some point in our lives. At which point would you make the declaration?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't expect someone to tell me. There are so many different types and degrees of mental illness. I'm very comfortable around it though. We have probably all been in situations where we've not known everything about a person. We don't always need to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have ptsd i am bi polar manic depressive with suicidal/psychopathic tendencies, paronoid schizophrenic and im a alcohloic and morbidly obese. i need friends not to be talked abt behind my back or pointed at. i dnt take any medication as i find mixed with alcohol i often wake up after missing a few days but if i drink at home im ok.
I do tell all potential meets that i am fucking crazy but enjoy a lot of kinky sex too. Only one has refused to come back but that was mainly due to me pissing in her bag ! 
lighten up ffs IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Let's gather all the mental illnesses together under one umbrella term and treat them all the same! 
They vary so much the original question bears no merit. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"The scars make it somewhat hard to hide the fact I used to suffer depression lol.
Not on any meds any more though and all is well"
Good to hear you are well and no longer on meds.
Physical scars are one thing but many of us have invisible scars too. The painful days can lead saying and doing things that others don't understand, because they can't see the world as you are experiencing it in that moment. On here that can be a block or a refusal to meet. One the hard painful days that may be upsetting but on the days when all is well we can see it for what it is.
I've just finished reading Reasons to Stay Alive. It's not a great book but it has some useful truths about how depression and mental ill-health is _iewed. How an invisible illness is treated so thoughtlessly. There is a chapter on things you wouldn't say to someone with a physical/visible illness that people casually use with those with mental ill-health.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The scars make it somewhat hard to hide the fact I used to suffer depression lol.
Not on any meds any more though and all is well
Good to hear you are well and no longer on meds.
Physical scars are one thing but many of us have invisible scars too. The painful days can lead saying and doing things that others don't understand, because they can't see the world as you are experiencing it in that moment. On here that can be a block or a refusal to meet. One the hard painful days that may be upsetting but on the days when all is well we can see it for what it is.
I've just finished reading Reasons to Stay Alive. It's not a great book but it has some useful truths about how depression and mental ill-health is _iewed. How an invisible illness is treated so thoughtlessly. There is a chapter on things you wouldn't say to someone with a physical/visible illness that people casually use with those with mental ill-health.
"
i know i have heard them daily |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know not all mental illnesses are the same. I've in no way to mark them all as the same. I myself suffer and sometimes it's not unnoticeable. Scars or current marks etc. I just wondered if there was something obvious if a meet should be told as currently I might put off potential meets but feel uncomfortable saying something to someone that I'm just going to fuck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't say I live a completely happy life with my illness. I wish I could but I'm still on my way to healing.
I'm a lot stronger than I have been, definitely.
Mindfulness helps me. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I know not all mental illnesses are the same. I've in no way to mark them all as the same. I myself suffer and sometimes it's not unnoticeable. Scars or current marks etc. I just wondered if there was something obvious if a meet should be told as currently I might put off potential meets but feel uncomfortable saying something to someone that I'm just going to fuck. "
If YOU feel you should say something then you should. There is no right or wrong. Just be careful about how YOU will feel if you get rejected for opening up.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know not all mental illnesses are the same. I've in no way to mark them all as the same. I myself suffer and sometimes it's not unnoticeable. Scars or current marks etc. I just wondered if there was something obvious if a meet should be told as currently I might put off potential meets but feel uncomfortable saying something to someone that I'm just going to fuck. "
just fuck em x you need to sometimes and dnt say anything unless they ask as long as there's no danger to either party.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a really good incite into my illness, I know it inside out and how it affects me even if I have no control over it. Its my illness and I try and look after it the best I can
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a really good incite into my illness, I know it inside out and how it affects me even if I have no control over it. Its my illness and I try and look after it the best I can
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have social anxiety disorder im not ashamed and I no myself well enough to see if im well or unwell if aanything fab has helped cos its given me more cconfidence i won't meet tho if im not well not cos im a danger simply ccos I don't feel up to meeting im fully medicated and im allowed plastic cutlery now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have social anxiety disorder im not ashamed and I no myself well enough to see if im well or unwell if aanything fab has helped cos its given me more cconfidence i won't meet tho if im not well not cos im a danger simply ccos I don't feel up to meeting im fully medicated and im allowed plastic cutlery now "
taps lightly on head) good girl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is my job .. mental health support ..so many varients and levels .. id like whoever we met to be upfront if it may affect anything ..other than that we dont need to know .. blimey we would spend hours chatting illnesses . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"God, some these comments are disgusting! Is there any wonder mental illness is still so taboo?!"
Really? Which comments I haven't seen anything offensive in here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"God, some these comments are disgusting! Is there any wonder mental illness is still so taboo?!
Really? Which comments I haven't seen anything offensive in here "
Me neither |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never been to the docs about very much my whole life.....
I'll bet if i did though, he'd be able to find some name or other for some habit of mine or other and suggest a cure....
I think most folk have some level of mental about them...it just depends how it affects us I guess.....
Would I want to know before a meet? Probably not....I take folk for who they are....
Some of the most beautiful people I know sit in pidgeonholes given to them by some professional or other.... |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
Im a bit torn on this one...
Ive also worked closely with people who have had mental health problems so I want to say that of course it doesnt make any difference to me at all.
But Ive also spend a couple of sleepless nights worrying about the suicidal messages Ive received from someone that I once had an NSA meet with when he was full of the joys of Spring and finding myself thinking that this wasnt what I signed up for - and if Id known then what I know now... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No we would not expect them to tell us their mental health situation ..... Would you want to know if someone you are meeting is a diabetic in case of slipping into a diabetic coma ? We doubt it very much .. ... Personally questions such as this shows how much mental illnesses still have a huge stigma !!!!! |
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"No we would not expect them to tell us their mental health situation ..... Would you want to know if someone you are meeting is a diabetic in case of slipping into a diabetic coma ? We doubt it very much .. ... Personally questions such as this shows how much mental illnesses still have a huge stigma !!!!! "
actually had a guy go into a diabetic coma on me and he hadnt told me he was diabetic
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The spectrum of conditions is vast, as is the way people get affected by them.
In general I think someone's health is their private concern, unless there are significant issues or reasons for others to know.
Depression and many aspects of health can be troubling for someone to be anxious about, without feeling a duty to tell others.
In general I feel we all have a duty to look after and not harm someone else's wellbeing. That's without knowing anyone may have an issue.
If you're unsure, consider enough social meet time with others, so that you're not feeling pushed to choose whether to have sex or open up until you're ready.
The risk there is someone getting emotionally attached with you, so be explicitly clear that you are in no way after romance - I'm assuming that you're not.
If you would potentially not be able to consent or refuse consent, then you could perhaps meet at somewhere more public, where you could get more support, such as at a club.
Overall there's nothing wrong in mental health issues and the concerns should 99% be about you. Where something may impact others, reflect on how insignificant that may be and compare it to your withdrawal from a meet, if its not appropriate. If their safety and health is all good, then you're possibly just over concerned, if little impact could result. |
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Normally I would not expect someone to tell me of an illness - mental or physical - unless it was likely to affect the meet.
If someone is diabetic but it's under control, I don't really need to know unless I get to know the lady well. However, if they have a broken ankle and are on crutches that affects their movement, where we can meet, possibly what we can do.
If someone has a mental health issue that is under control, I really don't need to know. However if they have a condition that might result in something happening during a meet then it might be good to let people know.
To be honest, mental health should be treated similarly to physical health. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Im a bit torn on this one...
Ive also worked closely with people who have had mental health problems so I want to say that of course it doesnt make any difference to me at all.
But Ive also spend a couple of sleepless nights worrying about the suicidal messages Ive received from someone that I once had an NSA meet with when he was full of the joys of Spring and finding myself thinking that this wasnt what I signed up for - and if Id known then what I know now..."
I know what you are saying but he may never have been suicidal before and may never be again.
Until you have that breakdown you don't really know it's coming. Although, with hindsight, therapy and a lot of looking at myself, I can see all the markers on the road to my first attempt. No one else saw it coming either.
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"Im a bit torn on this one...
Ive also worked closely with people who have had mental health problems so I want to say that of course it doesnt make any difference to me at all.
But Ive also spend a couple of sleepless nights worrying about the suicidal messages Ive received from someone that I once had an NSA meet with when he was full of the joys of Spring and finding myself thinking that this wasnt what I signed up for - and if Id known then what I know now...
I know what you are saying but he may never have been suicidal before and may never be again.
Until you have that breakdown you don't really know it's coming. Although, with hindsight, therapy and a lot of looking at myself, I can see all the markers on the road to my first attempt. No one else saw it coming either.
"
We've chatted about it at length  . Its something that he's struggled with for years.
In all fairness I absolutely would not have expected him to say anything about it to me - but Im just being honest saying that in hindsight, had I known what was going to happen, I wouldnt have got involved.
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I've been clinically depressed since childhood. However, I'm very stable on my current treatment, which had no side effects except that I sometimes take a week of Sundays to come.
I've got no plans to stop taking the meds and must add that swinging has raised my mood better than any antidepressant I've ever taken!  |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"What are you _iews on this regarding a meet?
Would you expect them to tell you like you would if they had something physically wrong with them.
Would it put you off playing with them?"
Depends on the mental illness. I gather that these days stress at work is also consider a mental illness. That wouldn't stop me
But someone prone to psychotic episodes is a show=stopper for me |
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