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Fab Care Home
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A few of us have reserved spaces in the Fab Care Home, a retirement complex for us swingers as we age not so graciously.
Complete with dungeon and a regular visiting clientele, similar to the Nanna Love show.
What other facilities should we provide and who's booking a space? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wide patio doors to each and every room (ground floor rooms only) so that the hearse can be backed in as needed.
H & S rule No 187621 : Reduce carrying whenever possible. |
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All staff will be dressed, a la sexy nurse gear, of course.
And for the others, hung studs in minimal gear. Bed baths will be compulsory when a little tired or incapacitated, alongside some sexual pleasuring. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can the nurses come round and administer a little oily hanjob for the gents or a slip of the finger for the ladies just prior to sleep and lights out as a nightcap? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Definitely a wet room "
I think every room would be a wet room once incontinence sets in!!  suggest we all learn to love water sports by the time we hit our seventies - it'll save a lot of time and aggravation!!  xx |
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Unlike some rest homes where clients are kept sedated, the typical medication provided may be viagra for some of the resident guys.
There must be a definite call for this service, so I'm saving up now.
So, facilities include dungeon, wet room, sex swings - bought to your room on demand, as well as group shag areas, so far. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sex swings to take pressure of those sore joints lol
They may need to be hydraulic - I have trouble getting into to them now.
"
Pmsl it's ok you can use the moist hoist |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Actually I think a swinging retirement village with an incorporated nursing home is an effing brilliant idea!! No age restrictions - you could go to live there as soon as your kids leave home! A purpose built town like Milton Keynes - but a darned site more fun! I'm gonna start saving up now in case it happens!!  |
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"Actually I think a swinging retirement village with an incorporated nursing home is an effing brilliant idea!! No age restrictions - you could go to live there as soon as your kids leave home! A purpose built town like Milton Keynes - but a darned site more fun! I'm gonna start saving up now in case it happens!! "
I've been thinking this for a while too, and spoke about in a forum post a while ago. I hope that we stay in Europe, as that could keep a stream of young fit care assistants, or varying nationalities, to help keep interest up, possibly as we learn some new languages.
In winter, we'd have some space in our mediterranean complex, so that we could enjoy the warmth, and anyone with aches and pains can get some relief.
No nosy neighbours, no trouble with profiles who can't accom, as we'd all have time share options on fuck rooms, if we didn't want to shag in our own spaces. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Sex swings to take pressure of those sore joints lol
They may need to be hydraulic - I have trouble getting into to them now.
Pmsl it's ok you can use the moist hoist "
Can I have a dry one please.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Penis pumps that work at the push of a button, kind of modified BP monitors. In fact they could take your BP at the same time. Can't be doing with squeezing the bulb with arthritic hands. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually I think a swinging retirement village with an incorporated nursing home is an effing brilliant idea!! No age restrictions - you could go to live there as soon as your kids leave home! A purpose built town like Milton Keynes - but a darned site more fun! I'm gonna start saving up now in case it happens!!
I've been thinking this for a while too, and spoke about in a forum post a while ago. I hope that we stay in Europe, as that could keep a stream of young fit care assistants, or varying nationalities, to help keep interest up, possibly as we learn some new languages.
In winter, we'd have some space in our mediterranean complex, so that we could enjoy the warmth, and anyone with aches and pains can get some relief.
No nosy neighbours, no trouble with profiles who can't accom, as we'd all have time share options on fuck rooms, if we didn't want to shag in our own spaces."
Well if it ever happens I'll definitely be there!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sex swings to take pressure of those sore joints lol
They may need to be hydraulic - I have trouble getting into to them now.
Pmsl it's ok you can use the moist hoist
Can I have a dry one please. "
For goodness sake, your so fussy.. ok I'll wipe, before alighting what's a little foggie juice between freinds..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Self installing condoms and cock rings, perhaps remote controlled robots could do this
If you go down the robot route then you might as well install the fucking machines.
"
hey I'm old...not completely incapable  |
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Viagra freely available. Massage by fit young persons. Booking system to book your slot with your favourite person in their room.
All joking aside, I heard about a very elderly lady who was sexually active with male escorts organised by care home staff. I think that's an excellent service so I'd like on call fit young men just waiting for my call, 24/7.
I fear you guys wouldn't have the stamina to keep up with me |
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Not sure about the gummy blowjobs, dental care is better than it used to be. I also heard in times gone by that young women often had their teeth needlessly removed, as dentures had low maintenance costs, compared to teeth. A bit scary if true. But endless gummy sucking for husbands. |
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"What age can we check in?
Licketysplits you can be the manager and of course you will have to test all the equipment on all 3 shifts
I was hoping for a bed for tonight!"
Would be lovely to be open tonight Lickety - we'll have to get a squat going instead.
I think it's great for anyone who's not planning to be in a relationship, so wouldn't have partner to help care for them. And for couples it would allow them both to be cared for, removing any pressure from them.
We'd have to have a stuffy, pee smelling visiting room, for any friends and family who'd be visiting, who don't know that we like the finer things in life. It won't be the dungeon, nor have any swings in it |
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Age is open to any of us, whenever we feel like a more communal living style, with support and care, as well as sexual mores, nearby on demand.
We will have some day care slots too, so that temporary residents can get all the advantages of Sophie's care home. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I intend to invest in a portrait that will age instead of me, I'll come and visit you all every so often.  "
I think Dorien Gray beat you to that one! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wonder if staff wages be better than i get now
staff bonuses might be quite good - a few pokes here and there -
Ooo er matron!"
was supposed to say perks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Will there be half price on gigolo days?
That really should be jigglyo days for those with the shakes"
Won't have to worry about teeth scraping though,shaky or not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Will there be half price on gigolo days?
That really should be jigglyo days for those with the shakes
Won't have to worry about teeth scraping though,shaky or not "
giggidy |
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