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stupid things you have done when d*unk
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By *riskygaz OP Man
over a year ago
birmingham |
I was a bit pist one evening and got a taxi back from town, I think the fare was something like £13 I went to hand him a £20 note and he said I haven't got change for a £20 I said oh right, well I will have the right amount in the house if you wait a minute for me to get it, he said how do I know you will come back, so I said well you hang onto this £20 and I will be back in two minutes, Guess what! when I came back out of the house he was gone  who could have seen that one coming PMSL! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was once walking along the main drag in Aberdeen late-ish on a Friday night, after a 'leaving do' - was about to cross a side-street when a car pulled up, only slightly blocking my way. For some reason, rather than just wait or walk around, I stepped on foot up onto the front tyre, then the next foot onto the wing, then strode across the bonnet and down the other side, and carried on walking. Amazingly, I don't think I damaged the car and even more amazingly I didn't get my head kicked in  |
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By *riskygaz OP Man
over a year ago
birmingham |
"I was once walking along the main drag in Aberdeen late-ish on a Friday night, after a 'leaving do' - was about to cross a side-street when a car pulled up, only slightly blocking my way. For some reason, rather than just wait or walk around, I stepped on foot up onto the front tyre, then the next foot onto the wing, then strode across the bonnet and down the other side, and carried on walking. Amazingly, I don't think I damaged the car and even more amazingly I didn't get my head kicked in "
yep lucky it wasn't a car load of guys lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Walking back from a club I decided to empty my pockets full of receipts n stuff into the nearest bin.
5 seconds later I realised I had had a fiver in my pocket.
And I distinctly remember thinking "sod it, I will go and look for it tomorrow. I'm sure it will still be there".
Nope.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly no one can get stupider than I have.
Very d*unk, seen a swan. Jumped in the pond tried to save it from drowning.
He was just swimming normally all my mates told me.
5 years ago and I'm still tortured by the lads over it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After a night on the town with a friend, we went to subways and joined the 3am taxi queue. Got chatting to a few people, having a laugh, then I felt a bit peckish so went to tuck into my foot long only to realise it had gone. I started to kick off, assuming someone had pinched it, only to be informed by my friend that I'd already eaten it. 
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On a stag do in Blackpool, went back to the hotel and thought I'd have another pint in the bar before going up to bed. Supped ma pint and went upstairs, couldn't get ma key in the door, returned to the bar to ask the barman who said it wasn't one of their keys.
I was in the wrong hotel  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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once cheered a friend on as he 'tightrope-walked' along a the handrail of a barrier for about five yards. The barrier was on the edge of the deck of a passenger ferry, half-way through an overnight crossing of the North Sea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I consumed a balloon...
I think it's still inside me"
It'll maybe work its way through....be funny when you fart one day and it comes out like a frogs croak sack thingy.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bloody hell I've done too much lol! Once tried getting off with a bloke with a wig on in magaluf ha! Ye he was a blonde alright! Lol. This weekend well I speechless tbh ha! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've done and said way too much stupid shit when d*unk as a youth....
Woke up in an old tractor tyre at Lancaster farms young offenders insitute once...
Woke up on a traffic island.....
In williamsons park in Lancaster once, minus a coat, plus one bag of Becks...I think I may have swapped one for the other, not sure......
In an orchard on bailrigg farm next to a fire, that's impressive as it meant overshooting my house by two miles, walking through at least one field, and getting a fire going when too pissed to remember....
Multiple times in pubs or clubs....
Multiple times at friends houses....
Under a table in the site office at t in the park.....
I'm a ridiculous idiot when d*unk....I binge drink....or used to, I decided it was one of the more destructive drugs and barely touch it these days.
Maybe a few at a festival but I'm extremely aware now of what a dozy prick I can be....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First time I ever drank I was 15 n totally besotted with a boy anyhow we were all away in colwyn bay with the church I smuggled in a four pack of stones bitter  drank one can was completely wankered n proceeded to dance around the hotel butt naked n tetelling all the church pensioners I was gonna shag the poor lad thankfully he does still talk to me!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was a bit pist one evening and got a taxi back from town, I think the fare was something like £13 I went to hand him a £20 note and he said I haven't got change for a £20 I said oh right, well I will have the right amount in the house if you wait a minute for me to get it, he said how do I know you will come back, so I said well you hang onto this £20 and I will be back in two minutes, Guess what! when I came back out of the house he was gone who could have seen that one coming PMSL!"
Not me honest but my friends parents hired a limo for her 21st birthday and we went for a meal and hit clubs in London being picked up and dropped of in the limo,and coming home busting for a pee we gathered around her while she peed in the ice bucket in the limo oops lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was once walking along the main drag in Aberdeen late-ish on a Friday night, after a 'leaving do' - was about to cross a side-street when a car pulled up, only slightly blocking my way. For some reason, rather than just wait or walk around, I stepped on foot up onto the front tyre, then the next foot onto the wing, then strode across the bonnet and down the other side, and carried on walking. Amazingly, I don't think I damaged the car and even more amazingly I didn't get my head kicked in "
That's bad ass. Totally understand why you did it. |
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By *irceWoman
over a year ago
Gloucester |
Out with friends on a festival campsite drank the dreaded Tennents Super and fell into and destroyed everyone in the groups tent "domino effect" oh they all were so nice about my accident no sympathy lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ran up to an former well know ex factor contestant i bumped into while on a night out a kissed him  left him with red lippy all over his mush oooops "
lucky him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly no one can get stupider than I have.
Very d*unk, seen a swan. Jumped in the pond tried to save it from drowning.
He was just swimming normally all my mates told me.
5 years ago and I'm still tortured by the lads over it "
This is quality
I am absolutely in stitches with laughter  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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o am sure i have done loads of stupid things, but the best one happened to a mate.
House party, all toilets taken so he pee'd out of a bedroom window.
next morning leaving the party with massive hangovers we spotted the brand new xr31 soft top, roof down, under the window... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Got back with an ex - worst was I didn't know for the first 10 mins the following morning until went to get up to notice said ex in my bed.
The vocal tones of 'hello beautiful' will haunt me for the rest of my days and shall remain the reason I now leave my phone at home when I go out drinking. |
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Went 'bin jousting'.. Sat on top of a huge wheelie bin and had 6 people push me into another person sat on top of another wheelie bin.
Went home with a squaddie and let him fuck me in the bum. He then told all my friends that I'm a dirty bitch and he loves me.
Had my first threesome. Monday night: "We won't tell anyone"... By Wednesday the whole town knew.
Met my ex.
Slept with my ex.
Agreed to move in with my ex.
I once got so d*unk that I passed out on the bathroom floor, got a phone call which woke me up and I freaked out because I was laying on my front, but it felt like I was laying on my back.. So I thought I was stuck to the ceiling. I was too afraid to move.
Tore my tights on a night out.. Then my mate ripped my cheap primark thong.. So I had no knickers, no tights, short dress... I then fell down the stairs
Was desperate for a wee so I went in the alley way opposite the club
Walked 3 miles on a sprained ankle
Had way too much sex for my own good.. Most of it unprotected. Thank fuck I never caught anything and I didn't get pregnant!
Is it any wonder I don't drink anymore?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh god I could probably fill this thread on my own, and most of it is embarrassing You cant keep us hanging. Come on Mrs spill. "
A few then.
Went up to Dane Bowers and called him a cunt for what he did to Jordan (I can't remember what he did to Jordan) and was removed from the club.
My friend and I pulled Woody and Buzz from Disney on Ice after convincing them we were both called Jessie.
Tore my anterior cruciate ligament dancing to Cotton Eyed Joe.
Tried to get in the wrong room in halls many, many times.
Went home to the wrong house 2 nights after moving out (I still had the key ).
Smashed my head off a beam dancing to Jump Around.
Simulated sex with an inflatable parrot while dressed as a pirate in a karaoke bar (that was only last year )
On a work night out, burst into hysterical tears for no reason whatsoever, and now they all think I'm insane (that was only last year as well :-0)
Was sick in my bag at the cinema after being dragged d*unkenly to see a subtitled violent point of view Indonesian film.
Got in a row in a taxi queue after too many jaegarbombs and had to be picked up and carried away from the situation by my husband.
Walked home when it was snowing and I had no coat.
I don't drink very much any more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Went 'bin jousting'.. Sat on top of a huge wheelie bin and had 6 people push me into another person sat on top of another wheelie bin.
Went home with a squaddie and let him fuck me in the bum. He then told all my friends that I'm a dirty bitch and he loves me.
Had my first threesome. Monday night: "We won't tell anyone"... By Wednesday the whole town knew.
Met my ex.
Slept with my ex.
Agreed to move in with my ex.
I once got so d*unk that I passed out on the bathroom floor, got a phone call which woke me up and I freaked out because I was laying on my front, but it felt like I was laying on my back.. So I thought I was stuck to the ceiling. I was too afraid to move.
Tore my tights on a night out.. Then my mate ripped my cheap primark thong.. So I had no knickers, no tights, short dress... I then fell down the stairs
Was desperate for a wee so I went in the alley way opposite the club
Walked 3 miles on a sprained ankle
Had way too much sex for my own good.. Most of it unprotected. Thank fuck I never caught anything and I didn't get pregnant!
Is it any wonder I don't drink anymore?
"
Bin jousting! I've done that too back in the day, it's particularly good on a bit of a hill |
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My managers leaving party a few months ago.. I got a bit too dunk, as did he. His boyfriend bought us all kebab and then one of my sober colleagues drove us home. Half way back to my place my manager said he needed a wee.. So he pee'd in the carpark of the pub he used to run. Then pissed all over himself and then tripped over and sprained his ankle. Then put his piss covered hand in my face. I got home and fell into the footwell as I was trying to get out of the car. I then fell up the drive way and then caught my finger in the door |
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"Went 'bin jousting'.. Sat on top of a huge wheelie bin and had 6 people push me into another person sat on top of another wheelie bin.
Went home with a squaddie and let him fuck me in the bum. He then told all my friends that I'm a dirty bitch and he loves me.
Had my first threesome. Monday night: "We won't tell anyone"... By Wednesday the whole town knew.
Met my ex.
Slept with my ex.
Agreed to move in with my ex.
I once got so d*unk that I passed out on the bathroom floor, got a phone call which woke me up and I freaked out because I was laying on my front, but it felt like I was laying on my back.. So I thought I was stuck to the ceiling. I was too afraid to move.
Tore my tights on a night out.. Then my mate ripped my cheap primark thong.. So I had no knickers, no tights, short dress... I then fell down the stairs
Was desperate for a wee so I went in the alley way opposite the club
Walked 3 miles on a sprained ankle
Had way too much sex for my own good.. Most of it unprotected. Thank fuck I never caught anything and I didn't get pregnant!
Is it any wonder I don't drink anymore?
Bin jousting! I've done that too back in the day, it's particularly good on a bit of a hill "
Not so fun when you fall off and land head first in a puddle of mud though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Went 'bin jousting'.. Sat on top of a huge wheelie bin and had 6 people push me into another person sat on top of another wheelie bin.
Went home with a squaddie and let him fuck me in the bum. He then told all my friends that I'm a dirty bitch and he loves me.
Had my first threesome. Monday night: "We won't tell anyone"... By Wednesday the whole town knew.
Met my ex.
Slept with my ex.
Agreed to move in with my ex.
I once got so d*unk that I passed out on the bathroom floor, got a phone call which woke me up and I freaked out because I was laying on my front, but it felt like I was laying on my back.. So I thought I was stuck to the ceiling. I was too afraid to move.
Tore my tights on a night out.. Then my mate ripped my cheap primark thong.. So I had no knickers, no tights, short dress... I then fell down the stairs
Was desperate for a wee so I went in the alley way opposite the club
Walked 3 miles on a sprained ankle
Had way too much sex for my own good.. Most of it unprotected. Thank fuck I never caught anything and I didn't get pregnant!
Is it any wonder I don't drink anymore?
"
OMG I think you win the award lol!!
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Honestly no one can get stupider than I have.
Very d*unk, seen a swan. Jumped in the pond tried to save it from drowning.
He was just swimming normally all my mates told me.
5 years ago and I'm still tortured by the lads over it "
Hahahaha! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Went 'bin jousting'.. Sat on top of a huge wheelie bin and had 6 people push me into another person sat on top of another wheelie bin.
Went home with a squaddie and let him fuck me in the bum. He then told all my friends that I'm a dirty bitch and he loves me.
Had my first threesome. Monday night: "We won't tell anyone"... By Wednesday the whole town knew.
Met my ex.
Slept with my ex.
Agreed to move in with my ex.
I once got so d*unk that I passed out on the bathroom floor, got a phone call which woke me up and I freaked out because I was laying on my front, but it felt like I was laying on my back.. So I thought I was stuck to the ceiling. I was too afraid to move.
Tore my tights on a night out.. Then my mate ripped my cheap primark thong.. So I had no knickers, no tights, short dress... I then fell down the stairs
Was desperate for a wee so I went in the alley way opposite the club
Walked 3 miles on a sprained ankle
Had way too much sex for my own good.. Most of it unprotected. Thank fuck I never caught anything and I didn't get pregnant!
Is it any wonder I don't drink anymore?
Bin jousting! I've done that too back in the day, it's particularly good on a bit of a hill
Not so fun when you fall off and land head first in a puddle of mud though "
That never happened to me, I was the undefeated champion |
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Was walking back to my friends Mum's house, totally pissed. It was a case of see the blue car, walk to it. She was carrying me and her very large handbags. At one point walked towards a lamp post an leant back. The next thing, and this is told from my friends view. I had disappeared, all she could hear was giggling and when she looked down saw a pair of feet sticking out of privet hedges. I had managed to lean between 2 of them and fallen straight through |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Forgot where I was staying and walked all round Malia for four hours trying to find it - only to find it was about 50 yards from where I started.
Climbed over a balcony between 2 apartments because a friend had locked himself out (same holiday) only remembered after I was done that we were on the third floor - not good.
Carried a kebab home for about 3 mile after an evening out, then dropped it about 100 metres from home.
Locked myself out when living with a mate so I kicked his dog out of its kennel and slept there for the night.
I could go on... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On holiday lifted the lid of the toilet and puked, not a major problem.
Following morning stern looks all around especially my room mate. It wasn't the toilet seat I'd lifted but his suitcase, I'd puked all over his clothes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lay down in the middle of a Lake District Road and stopped the traffic after drinking 8 Pints of Scrumpy in an hour. My mates finally peeled me off the road and carried me back to the campsite. I thanked them by depositing regurgitated pineapple chunks in their tent, which we'd had as dessert a couple of hours earlier  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh yeah, thought of some more - met up with mates in Ibiza, woke up after a heavy night having slept in a suitcase, and coloured my entire head in with a flouresecent glowstick I'd bitten open.
Trying to get through a bathroom window as the door was locked and pretty much left the cistern hanging off the wall - not one of my finer moments. |
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"Went 'bin jousting'.. Sat on top of a huge wheelie bin and had 6 people push me into another person sat on top of another wheelie bin.
Went home with a squaddie and let him fuck me in the bum. He then told all my friends that I'm a dirty bitch and he loves me.
Had my first threesome. Monday night: "We won't tell anyone"... By Wednesday the whole town knew.
Met my ex.
Slept with my ex.
Agreed to move in with my ex.
I once got so d*unk that I passed out on the bathroom floor, got a phone call which woke me up and I freaked out because I was laying on my front, but it felt like I was laying on my back.. So I thought I was stuck to the ceiling. I was too afraid to move.
Tore my tights on a night out.. Then my mate ripped my cheap primark thong.. So I had no knickers, no tights, short dress... I then fell down the stairs
Was desperate for a wee so I went in the alley way opposite the club
Walked 3 miles on a sprained ankle
Had way too much sex for my own good.. Most of it unprotected. Thank fuck I never caught anything and I didn't get pregnant!
Is it any wonder I don't drink anymore?
OMG I think you win the award lol!!
"
Ooh ive never won anything before! What's the award for stupidity? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i was out with the lads in town and we ended up in a club that had like a chill out area sofas and tables i had a smoke in my hand (be nearly 20 years ago smoking inside was allowed)but i was that shitfaced i was just resting my hand on my thigh and didn't notice i'd set my shirt on fire til someone threw a pint over me when i looked down i had a hole with scorch mark round it about the size of a saucer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In a night club with two bros, one went for a crap and sat on his shirt tails, he phoned us to help him scrape the shit of his shirt into the sink so he could go back out and dance pmsl
Brotherly love eh |
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I one got back to my parents' house pissed one night and found the visitors to next door couldn't start their car, so I very kindly gave them a push.
Turns out the next door neighbours were on holiday and I'd helped the burglars make a getaway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I (p) have a major habit of binging and do some bloody stupid stuff when d*unk I would say embarrassing but I find them funny myself we would have to spend all night going through them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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went to a strip club with a load of guys and started taking my clothes off,got thrown out and then offered a job.
numerous other things i couldnt even go into. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Woke up with one eyebrow missing.
I was sixteen and hard work the next day. Tried telling people that I had cut it and had stitches, hence the giant plaster, covering it. It wasn't believed. At least there were no hairs to rip out when i took it off.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Went 'bin jousting'.. Sat on top of a huge wheelie bin and had 6 people push me into another person sat on top of another wheelie bin.
Went home with a squaddie and let him fuck me in the bum. He then told all my friends that I'm a dirty bitch and he loves me.
Had my first threesome. Monday night: "We won't tell anyone"... By Wednesday the whole town knew.
Met my ex.
Slept with my ex.
Agreed to move in with my ex.
I once got so d*unk that I passed out on the bathroom floor, got a phone call which woke me up and I freaked out because I was laying on my front, but it felt like I was laying on my back.. So I thought I was stuck to the ceiling. I was too afraid to move.
Tore my tights on a night out.. Then my mate ripped my cheap primark thong.. So I had no knickers, no tights, short dress... I then fell down the stairs
Was desperate for a wee so I went in the alley way opposite the club
Walked 3 miles on a sprained ankle
Had way too much sex for my own good.. Most of it unprotected. Thank fuck I never caught anything and I didn't get pregnant!
Is it any wonder I don't drink anymore?
"
you sound like a fun night out lol xxxx |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"I haven't been d*unk since I was around 15 and used to drink white lightening and mad dog on a weekend. Didn't really do anything too bad! "
Hailed a Taxi when the hotel was literally across the street |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not that stupid but when I'm d*unk and a women is flirting with me and hinting she wants something I haven't a clue what! I just bloody ignore her and either keep dancing or get my burger!... Other takeaway meals are available! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not that stupid but when I'm d*unk and a women is flirting with me and hinting she wants something I haven't a clue what! I just bloody ignore her and either keep dancing or get my burger!... Other takeaway meals are available! "
haha yeah I've been guilty of this too. once on a camping weekend with a bunch of mates, me and this very nice, attractive girl were the last two standing at the end of a boozy session round the campfire. she gave me a big goodnight cuddle, then got into her tent, and moments later let out a little squeal. Said there was a spider in her tent and could I come and help her. I crawled in to the tiny tent, so we were then in very close contact, and she was already down to vest-top and pants and (I now realise) was giving me very meaningful looks. I told her I couldn't find the spider anywhere so gave her another hug and toddled off back to my own tent, where I promptly fell fast asleep. Jeez, did I ever kick myself when the memories of that finally resurfaced... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not that stupid but when I'm d*unk and a women is flirting with me and hinting she wants something I haven't a clue what! I just bloody ignore her and either keep dancing or get my burger!... Other takeaway meals are available!
haha yeah I've been guilty of this too. once on a camping weekend with a bunch of mates, me and this very nice, attractive girl were the last two standing at the end of a boozy session round the campfire. she gave me a big goodnight cuddle, then got into her tent, and moments later let out a little squeal. Said there was a spider in her tent and could I come and help her. I crawled in to the tiny tent, so we were then in very close contact, and she was already down to vest-top and pants and (I now realise) was giving me very meaningful looks. I told her I couldn't find the spider anywhere so gave her another hug and toddled off back to my own tent, where I promptly fell fast asleep. Jeez, did I ever kick myself when the memories of that finally resurfaced... "
Haha does ur bloody head in doesn't it!! I was on holiday and I was in club and this beautiful Spanish women come over and says ur making me horny! She looked at her boobs and I went alreyt sound love and buggered off! Felt same as u there ha! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Started drinking in Walthamstow one Friday afternoon and woke up in Dublin on Sunday morning with no recollection of how I got there.
was this Mr or Mrs that did this."
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Far too many things to list.
But getting charged a fiver for a taxi, when all he did was a uturn and dropped me on other side of the road and fooked off. |
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