FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Reflecting on all the bb threads.
Reflecting on all the bb threads.
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This is not a for or an against thread nor is it a look and listen to me thread. I am envisaging more of a reflective thread as it is something I have been mulling over for a while.
I have been exploring my own personal reasons behind my feelings towards sex outside of a committed relationship without a condom. In life I have taken part in much riskier ventures and plan to do so again but would never consider intercourse without protection.
As I have said this is not a for or against thread but I had to state my preference in order to put things in context.
Over the last few weeks in particular there have been passionate and heated debates in reaction to "bareback" threads on both sides. Maybe I am naive in thinking that a reflective debate could be held as to why this is and why no matter how many times one is posted the heat never subsides. But it is something that has been playing on my mind.
I know personally that my gut instinct to the topic never changes. But I have been mulling over the reasons why.
I am running out of time to post my own conclusions but will when I'm back later on. Maybe I'm an over thinker but I would be interested if anyone else has really tried to bottom out the debate on either side?
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My only reflection is that Fab reflects a wide variety of people and interests and the forum, although a more limited set of users, highlights this fairly well.
I tend to get horrified if I go search upon something that my mind may have been better left blank about, such as dredging (don't search it, if you're unaware of it, is probably the best advice I can give). But bareback is something that I can see has pros and cons and will probably always be somewhat controversial, until almost everyone barebacking is on Prep type medication or a lasting antiviral treatment is available. |
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We insist on condoms for penetration for two reasons one is it is safer the other is that for me bareback with any man other than A is unthinkable and far too intimate.
I think we are bombarded with the safe sex message to the extent that many of us fail to find out statistics and form an independent opinion.
I hope I answered your question and followed your post correctly  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think there are fair arguments for both sides (for and against bareback) but there's never a proper discussion as 'some' people can't debate in an adult way.
Good thread OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"I think there are fair arguments for both sides (for and against bareback) but there's never a proper discussion as 'some' people can't debate in an adult way.
Good thread OP. "
 it seems to bring out the worst defensive sanctimonious behaviour on both sides of the argument
I believe that as adults we should be able to make decisions and take responsibility for them,its not as if there is no information or research available to help us decide what we choose to do,just be honest at the same time if the choice may affect someone else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For it or against it, the worst thing that's done is that Bareback is vilified by so many - resulting in it creating a secret culture of deceit and deception.
Those who vilify it, then criticise that people lie about practicing it, fail to see they are the root of why it's become an underground practice.
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"For it or against it, the worst thing that's done is that Bareback is vilified by so many - resulting in it creating a secret culture of deceit and deception.
Those who vilify it, then criticise that people lie about practicing it, fail to see they are the root of why it's become an underground practice.
"
This
And we take many risks in life eg driving when encountering other uninsured, d*unk, drugged, un- or disqualified drivers and it is just one of many risks we take daily.
Life is one big risk assessment on a daily basis.
I have my own views on what I am looking for oin the scene - and agree with the above stance that vilifying something only serves to drive things underground. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's always an inference that someone into bareback is 'more risky' than someone using condoms. I don't understand this at all.
Barebackers -possibly- get tested more often as they are more aware.
Condom users -possibly- think they are 100% safe from catching anything so rarely/ never get tested.
Why do people say that barebackers must be honest and 'admit' it? Because people that use condoms are 100% safe... hmmm....
I see it as being a risk with any kind of sex. Use condoms or don't... doesn't matter. But DO get tested... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For it or against it, the worst thing that's done is that Bareback is vilified by so many - resulting in it creating a secret culture of deceit and deception.
Those who vilify it, then criticise that people lie about practicing it, fail to see they are the root of why it's become an underground practice.
"
Saved me typing.... |
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"There's always an inference that someone into bareback is 'more risky' than someone using condoms. I don't understand this at all.
Barebackers -possibly- get tested more often as they are more aware.
Condom users -possibly- think they are 100% safe from catching anything so rarely/ never get tested.
Why do people say that barebackers must be honest and 'admit' it? Because people that use condoms are 100% safe... hmmm....
I see it as being a risk with any kind of sex. Use condoms or don't... doesn't matter. But DO get tested... "
But testing is not the same as prevention - unless you and your partner abstain for 3 months and retest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In an ideal world, I think people would all play bb.
Ideal world....no disease or infections.
Unfortunately this isn't an ideal world.
Therefore this will always be a controversial subject. |
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"I see it as being a risk with any kind of sex. Use condoms or don't... doesn't matter. But DO get tested... "
But is everyone that goes bb, going to wait the 6 montths or however long the incubation period is, before having sex again? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But you see we judge people all the time. It's how we find our crowd - we look for people like us, people who believe in the things we believe in and find it difficult to comprehend why others would choose a different way when the answer seems so logical and clear to us. If we're in the majority, we feel vindicated, in the minority, and we feel we've a cause worth fighting for or we hide our point of view for fear of ridicule. I think you can apply this to most situations from politics to art and bb.
With all the risks spelled out we question why anyone would indulge in bb when the risks are so easy to lessen? It doesn't make sense to those of us who don't indulge in bb, it seems irresponsible and dangerous. It's an emotive topic, hence I think, all the heated debate.
Not sure if much of that made any sense, but that's my 2p worth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's always an inference that someone into bareback is 'more risky' than someone using condoms. I don't understand this at all.
Barebackers -possibly- get tested more often as they are more aware.
Condom users -possibly- think they are 100% safe from catching anything so rarely/ never get tested.
Why do people say that barebackers must be honest and 'admit' it? Because people that use condoms are 100% safe... hmmm....
I see it as being a risk with any kind of sex. Use condoms or don't... doesn't matter. But DO get tested...
But testing is not the same as prevention - unless you and your partner abstain for 3 months and retest."
How do you suggest 'prevention'? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see it as being a risk with any kind of sex. Use condoms or don't... doesn't matter. But DO get tested...
But is everyone that goes bb, going to wait the 6 montths or however long the incubation period is, before having sex again?"
You are inferring that everyone using condoms is 100% 'safe'.
Do people that use condoms wait 6 months?
If not, why not? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Risk ratio to personnel preference .
Personally I find people that drink drive , narcotics drive more irresponsible as they are directly causing fatalities that other people can't avoid .
Bareback at least requires consent on all parties and your aware of the risks . No one forces you to take that cock in your ass or pussy etc. Unfortunately with drivers that is forced upon you .
Though on a site like this the debate will rage on much the same as religion and anti religion .
Each to their own and take accountability for you own actions .
- smoking kills
- drinking kills
- drugs kill
- extreme sports kill
- being a soldier kills
All risks so sex is no different .
Shame though that discussions ultimately end up in witch hunts or abusive comments etc
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I just see it as our own business what we each individually do with our own bodies. If you're taking the approach, covered or not, that you want, then anything else that anyone does isn't your business.
I get in my car and put my seat belt on. I'm doing my bit for my own safety. I don't go around analysing who's taken what risks with their driving and other lifestyle components.
We can make life simple for ourselves and others or not. I choose the former. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A, unwanted pregnancies
B, no way would I penetrate a cum filled female. I suspect this is one of the males 'unspoken of' main reasons.
And yes for the more thoughtful amongst us, no way would I kiss a female that sucks and allows another to cum in her mouth. This is why I sometimes feel I'm not a 'true' swinger.
So for me its all for selfish reasons  |
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"I see it as being a risk with any kind of sex. Use condoms or don't... doesn't matter. But DO get tested...
But is everyone that goes bb, going to wait the 6 montths or however long the incubation period is, before having sex again?
You are inferring that everyone using condoms is 100% 'safe'.
Do people that use condoms wait 6 months?
If not, why not?"
Nothing is 100% guaranteed safe, but using that ideology, why bother with condoms at all? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see it as being a risk with any kind of sex. Use condoms or don't... doesn't matter. But DO get tested...
But is everyone that goes bb, going to wait the 6 montths or however long the incubation period is, before having sex again?
You are inferring that everyone using condoms is 100% 'safe'.
Do people that use condoms wait 6 months?
If not, why not?
Nothing is 100% guaranteed safe, but using that ideology, why bother with condoms at all? "
That's true, just pull out before you cum and your fine  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Before i had kids i was very promiscuous, and only ever had bareback sex.
Was aware of the risks, didn't see any evidence of them anywhere, was really lucky not to catch anything because there actually were all kinds of diseases going about at the time, mostly in the IV drug users who i didn't hang around with, but the risks were there. Both my cousin and my sisters best mate got viral hepatitis (not sure which ones) but they got them through needle use, although they obviously could pass them on via sex, and my cousin was also promiscuous and a swinger with her partner. You couldn't even tell my cousin had hepatitis, but my sisters best mate her liver made her side swell up and looked bruised, you could tell she had it, she's never been promiscuous though.
Since i had kids i've only been in monogamous relationships, one with a cheat though who could have passed anything onto me while i was with him.
Just been really lucky over the years. Even now, because of my previous luck, i only rely on condoms as contraception, because having a kid would take away 18 years of my life, more so than any STD would take away from it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see it as being a risk with any kind of sex. Use condoms or don't... doesn't matter. But DO get tested...
But is everyone that goes bb, going to wait the 6 montths or however long the incubation period is, before having sex again?
You are inferring that everyone using condoms is 100% 'safe'.
Do people that use condoms wait 6 months?
If not, why not?
Nothing is 100% guaranteed safe, but using that ideology, why bother with condoms at all? "
Possibly why some people bareback and some don't.
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"I see it as being a risk with any kind of sex. Use condoms or don't... doesn't matter. But DO get tested...
But is everyone that goes bb, going to wait the 6 montths or however long the incubation period is, before having sex again?
You are inferring that everyone using condoms is 100% 'safe'.
Do people that use condoms wait 6 months?
If not, why not?
Nothing is 100% guaranteed safe, but using that ideology, why bother with condoms at all?
Possibly why some people bareback and some don't.
"
Ya hit the nail on the head there  |
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"
How do you suggest 'prevention'?"
There's no foolproof way, other than monogamy of course. So it's just a question of risk management, and with regard to casual sex I do believe condoms are the most effective we have. Risks remain with oral, but they are less. |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
Bare backers - carry on, do your thing, post whatever you like, test if you want, don't bother if you don't want, be happy...
Everyone else - do exactly the same...
Me - having done my Risk Assessment like a good little worker...I'll carry on using condoms for penetration to mitigate the risks of catching the clap or falling pregnant, will continue getting tested every 3 months, sucking gloriously bare cocks, licking luscious uncovered pussy and most of all, being happy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In an ideal world, I think people would all play bb.
Ideal world....no disease or infections.
Unfortunately this isn't an ideal world.
Therefore this will always be a controversial subject."
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