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Whats the best / worst chat up line you've ever herd?
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By *ush girl OP Woman
over a year ago
Manchester |
"will you throw this drink over me before I offend you as your making me so hot" so I did then felt sorry for him & started talking - reverse tactic. Am I shallow, Considering I like the girlies?
Worst - after being asked for a shag & telling him to F off he then said can I use your fanny for a wank then!
Any cringers lately? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One that i fell for once- was, "I bet you a quid I can make your tits jiggle without touching them"
Then felt me up and said it was worth it and gave me a quid lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I rivet you to the bed with my rampant love rod" achieved a much better success rate though.
7/10
~
"Here's a dice, if you roll between a 1 and a 5 you get to go home with me."
(they ALWAYS asked, "but what if I roll a 6?") to which I'd reply, "You get another go."
Success rate: 7/10 |
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Sometimes its the way someone says something to you that can be horny. I had a guy come up to me one night from behind put his arms round me and whispered in my ear how long would it take to get to my house, so i thought it was rude not to show him  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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are you celibate? cause if you're selling, i'm buying.
i bet you're a right filthy bitch
i might not be the most attractive man in the room, but i'm the only one talking to you
i dont want to talk to you or buy you a drink, just fuck you. you have a minute to let me know.
ever had a parakeet? bet you've had a cock-a-too
if i was ten years older i'd shag yer, yer well sexy you are love
can i have a prune? no.
can i have a prune? no!
can i have a prune? NO!!!
ok, how about a date?
show us it
oh, my personal favourite "roar like a tiger "..."?!"...then he licked my arm, roared and walked off, before turning around and sinking his teeth in my ass
these are the ones i can remember...can you guess how many worked?
if you start at one and work down....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"no one's ever tried to chat me up 
awwwww hes 10p ring your mum and tell her your not coming home tonight "
oh i forgot that one...but i got, here's 20p, go ring your mom...tell her i'll be another half hour.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I cant remember ever having any corny chat up lines, woe is me, but reading this thread is making me laugh - i think the worst one is your so hot your making the cheese on my knob melt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ha ha ha
My mate said a good one to a girl in a nightclub. he asked her "Excuse me, is there a condom machine in the ladies loo's?" She said "Yes, why?" he answered "Get some cuz youve pulled"
Gave us all a laugh
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"Ha ha ha
My mate said a good one to a girl in a nightclub. he asked her "Excuse me, is there a condom machine in the ladies loo's?" She said "Yes, why?" he answered "Get some cuz youve pulled"
Gave us all a laugh
"
pmsl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since i'm an old romantic the one that got them melting was....
'If i made the alphabet i would put u and i together'
Its soppy but works all the time.
 "
Changed my name to Doug
Why cos is God spelt backwards whilst I wrap U up! |
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It's not particularly humorous but the psychology is strong behind it and I have had 100% success rate with it (it's worked 6 times). Mind, I put a lot of that down to the selection process before hand
Walk up to a girl point over at your friend (preferably less attractive friend) and say 'Hi it's my friend's birthday, can I have a kiss?' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When asked the question " What do you say to a little f..k?" she replied "Id say Good Night Sir" and walked off.
On the other hand I did once succeed with "Nice dress .... And it wont clash with my bedroom carpet" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so do you want me to do you then or what, i said i would so i will if you want me to"
This little pearl of wisdom after driving two hours to meet at his home a guy i had been talking to for weeks. He was everything your nighmares can conjour up. As well as a twat lo, i said thanks but no thanks and left as quick as i could. God the things we do for some fun lol xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" ... He was everything your nighmares can conjour up. As well as a twat lo, i said thanks but no thanks and left as quick as i could. God the things we do for some fun lol xx "
Ffs... An I fought me lime mankini were a hot match fer me wellies...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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LOL, these are priceless.
I think someone's been reading my little black book from when I was 17!
What about - "Do you come here often? - Would you like to?" |
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By *mf4BxJCouple
over a year ago
edinburgh |
I (fem) have a single fem profile here to meet other single fems for ff fun alone.
A single man mailed me charmingly telling me he could get me pussy. I played along and it ended in him saying he could get me pussy whenever I wanted but 'he'd have to have a fuck at me as well'.
How could I resist? |
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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago
kirkcaldy |
"oh shit the elastic has gone in my boxers - do you have needle and thread at your place"
was from my ex and i was stupid enough to fall for it
my friend was asked "whats the chances of you and your friend playing with my balls -her reply " dpends if that s before or after the kick in them and turning them into your new earrings" |
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"no one's ever tried to chat me up
awwwww hes 10p ring your mum and tell her your not coming home tonight
oh i forgot that one...but i got, here's 20p, go ring your mom...tell her i'll be another half hour. if you guys gave him a quid he could jiggle testarosa,s tits
"
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A friend and I went out the other night, and we had a competition between us, we each had 1 chat up line, and had to see how successful we were.
This was in a bi/gay/transgender club in Milton Keynes. We both tried the chat up lines on females (I'm female, my friend is male).
His was "I broke my bed last night, can I borrow yours tonight?"
Mine was "I've lost my scarf, can I use your legs instead?"
Surprisingly (!?!?!?) none of us had any luck. We made quite a few people laugh though. |
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here's two I've been guilty of:
" I have an intuition about you..."
" you have great energy...."
never compliment a gorgeous woman on her looks, she knows she's gorgeous and gets enough male attntion on that point as it is... get her attention with something unusual, get them curious first... but what do I know?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was in a club in Blackpool and asked a girl for a light - she said I dont smoke but I'll suck your cock anytime...
I must have looked a bit shocked cos a mate came over and I told him what she had said and she repeated it...
Found somewhere dark and she was pretty good... but spat!
So if you ever get stuck to the carpet in a club... |
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