FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Largely Positive

Largely Positive

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Just picking up something from another thread when an inferrence was made that a persons reason for blasting the site was possibly due to the fact they were a size 20 and didn't get any offers (going on to say that it was personality that matters).

Being on the cusp of 18/20, I can honestly say that this doesn't seem to be an issue on this site.

there are as many men on this site, and in life, that prefer a lady with the fuller form.

this is not limited to the men that can't get better either...this extends to doctors, lawyers, actors, keep fit instructors and men of many walks of life....even guys that most women would walk over hot coals to bed

the only ignorance attached to it is that some of these gents tend to prefer to see a woman of that stature discreetly, prefering to have a woman who they think society expects them to be seen with, on their arm.

not that all men are this way, nor would i select a partner on that premise. for me it's personality all the way, i want to go to bed with someone i'd consider a good friend in any other way.

I'm aware there are men that have no interest in me at all and that's cool too, they can walk right past my page and i'm non the worse nor better for it.

There is no such thing as 'their loss' as I see it, there really is someone for everyone and if it's not here it's walking past you on the street.

there has been a lot of discussion on the threads recently that make me feel there is still a lot of ignorance towards peoples size and shape though...whether it's someone being too big or too slim.

I would love to believe that we are all human, none of us is perfect and that it is, after all, just a body....and that the pleasure is derived by having the mind and the will and the desire to make it pleasurable. Whilst I appreciate that the desire is often derived by what we see, it doesnt mean everything aside from that is unattractive...it's just one persons opinion of what attractive is.

we all have our own tastes and not everyone is looking at the world through the same pair of glasses, if we all accept this, why is there still so much debate as to which is better and why do we still attach stigma towards folk because of their appearance?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

One of my ex-playmate would not be seen dead with me in public.

He was mid 40s and gosh, he was very fit!!!

His previous girlfriends had all been fit blonde, leggy, atheletic type, and he could still pull the 20-somethings.

However, he likes a bit of flesh on his ladies, and I was his guilty secret pleasure.

He had to go for various reasons.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"...........why do we still attach stigma towards folk because of their appearance?"

If you mean WE (as swingers) I don't believe we do. There are some folks for who larger ladies, or ultra skinny, or over 6 foot etc are a no go area but mostly swingers don't think like that.

If you mean we (as society) I reckon it's because the media, in particular the weekly glossy chat type magazines continually reinforce the 'nothing bigger than an 8' mentality which damages so many women's self confidence.

The strange thing is that you regularly see larger ladies engrossed in this type of mag.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"One of my ex-playmate would not be seen dead with me in public.

He was mid 40s and gosh, he was very fit!!!

His previous girlfriends had all been fit blonde, leggy, atheletic type, and he could still pull the 20-somethings.

However, he likes a bit of flesh on his ladies, and I was his guilty secret pleasure.

He had to go for various reasons.

good for you for getting rid! a meet should make you feel sexy and desirable, not unnacceptable!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bravo!

No one person or body type is 'better' than any other, personality always shines through.

However people will always follow personal preference, as you say though .......lots here for everyone and no need for 'rating' and berating others for their choices. xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"...........why do we still attach stigma towards folk because of their appearance?

If you mean WE (as swingers) I don't believe we do. There are some folks for who larger ladies, or ultra skinny, or over 6 foot etc are a no go area but mostly swingers don't think like that.

The strange thing is that you regularly see larger ladies engrossed in this type of mag."

i dont buy them...i read the independent and the times.

the only folk i know read them are those that swear that all things celebrity are to be worshipped and idolised....that is certainly not limited to the larger lady

and that is the ignorance i'm referring to

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I believe society is changing.

The fashion industry has finally woken up to the fact that there is a market for tasteful well designed clothes for larger ladies, and that we don't like covering up in tents!

And I see more young curvy ladies strutting their stuff and proud of their size on the streets.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I read the same thread and got annoyed as there's a common misconception that the larger girls, myself included, only get meets from desperate guys or people who have no standards

I've met some guys who love my size and body. You can't hide that. I'm pretty intuitive now and can see in someones face if they've been lying about being happy playing with a larger girl.

I have had a couple of bad experiences on here though. One guy was a lucky escape, when he didnt turn up for a meet i refused to arrange to see him again and i got a tirade of abuse about the fat women on here who were ugly and disgusting and survive on here for their confidence as would never score in real life

its a shame there are some guys on here who do spoil it and become abusive.

I reported him (though he is still on here!), shrugged it off as I don't know him so i'm never gonna be affected by him. there are far too many nice guys on here to go running in the corner and cry over one idiot!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"good for you for getting rid! a meet should make you feel sexy and desirable, not unnacceptable!

I thought about contacting him again when I became single recently. However, I have since found other fit gents who like me for what I am, and am having a lot of fun! So I can't be bothered!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" .......

And I see more young curvy ladies strutting their stuff and proud of their size on the streets.

That's true enough. A wander down Sauchiehall Steet any weekend night confirms it.

I just wonder how many, given the fairy godmother choice, would rather be an 8 than a 16 or a 10 rather than a 20.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I were granted one wish, I would wish for world peace, honest, and not for a few sizes smaller, as I like myself as I am.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i think the key here is confidence ...most men find women who are body confident a turn on and that is nothing to do with size really ?? its about being happy with who you are .my b/f is in a position in life where he could get any woman he wants pretty much and he wants me ...that gives me a huge amount of confidence....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If I were granted one wish, I would wish for world peace, honest, and not for a few sizes smaller, as I like myself as I am.

Sometimes it take a while to be bien dans sa peau. The teenagers/ 20somethings stravaiging up Sauchie don't always have such contentment.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I believe it is to do with confidence in oneself, be it size or otherwise.

IMHO, confident people are more attractive.

I know I am not perfect, however, I would like to believe my better qualities outweigh my imperfections.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" .......

And I see more young curvy ladies strutting their stuff and proud of their size on the streets.

That's true enough. A wander down Sauchiehall Steet any weekend night confirms it.

I just wonder how many, given the fairy godmother choice, would rather be an 8 than a 16 or a 10 rather than a 20."

I've been anything from a 10 to a 26 - my personal preference is 16-18 and right now i'm an 18-20. I'm much happier bigger than thinner x

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By *ruitWoman over a year ago

near kings lynn

I think there are some that only want to meet what they describe as fit women.

Thats their choice.

I prefer curves on a ladies without a doubt. But if a lady is a size 12 or a size 20 as long as she is comfy in her own skin and sexuality then that is very attractive.

I am not skinny and am not fit. I am a size 16 on average with bloody fabuolous boobs.

people dont look at my wobbly belly when you have fabulous boobs and a personality to lighten any room.

Give me curves anyday. Those that dont like it jog on....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have started to exercise a bit more, with the aim to reduce the size of my waist, as I put weight in this area easily.

This way, I don't have to strap myself up so tightly when I wear a corset to give myself a better shape!

Joking aside, I am mid 40s with no health issues apart from being overweight, and not on medication for anything. So I am happy!

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By *eizvollWoman over a year ago

in my own little world :-)

I think there are a lot of misconceptions about people being on a site like this, how many times have you been messaged by someone who thinks that because you are on a site like this you will be happy to 'drop your knickers' (or boxers) for anyone?

Surely it is the people who have this misconception who then react like you mention - they don't have the intelligence to realise that the majority on here have the confidence and ability to pick and chose their lovers, and they lash out at anyone who rejects them.

I think most people when hurt and rejected lash out at something obvious about the person doing the rejection - and because they don't know the person they have only physical appearance to attack - whether that be size or attractiveness.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

" .......

And I see more young curvy ladies strutting their stuff and proud of their size on the streets.

That's true enough. A wander down Sauchiehall Steet any weekend night confirms it.

I just wonder how many, given the fairy godmother choice, would rather be an 8 than a 16 or a 10 rather than a 20.

I've been anything from a 10 to a 26 - my personal preference is 16-18 and right now i'm an 18-20. I'm much happier bigger than thinner x"

I'm with you, i was so lacking in confidence when i was slim as i always felt each pound and oz and if i put anything on, I was in bits and wouldnt go out convinced i was fat. I would compare myself to other women more then than i do now.

I've reached a point of realising that it is not at all important, being healthy is, and I am healthier now than ever before. i ate poor to stay slim and my health suffered as a consequence.

as much as the gent queries whether we would prefer to be slimmer, take a look at the size 1 girls also, there's possibly the same amount wish they were an 8 or...like a friend of mine who could only wear childrens clothes she was so thin, wish they were bigger.

body confidence is nothing to do with size, it is to do with accepting who you are and making the most of what you have...not worrying about what others see you as

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

One can come across as confident in his/her profile IMHO.

As for people being rude after rejection, I put it down to being bad loosers and lacking in refinement/sophistication, and certainly not an attractive personality trait in my book!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" .......

And I see more young curvy ladies strutting their stuff and proud of their size on the streets.

That's true enough. A wander down Sauchiehall Steet any weekend night confirms it.

I just wonder how many, given the fairy godmother choice, would rather be an 8 than a 16 or a 10 rather than a 20.

I've been anything from a 10 to a 26 - my personal preference is 16-18 and right now i'm an 18-20. I'm much happier bigger than thinner x

I've reached a point of realising that it is not at all important, being healthy is, and I am healthier now than ever before. i ate poor to stay slim and my health suffered as a consequence.

body confidence is nothing to do with size, it is to do with accepting who you are and making the most of what you have...not worrying about what others see you as

I'm fitter now than I have ever been in my life - go to the gym 3 times a week, have great stamina, work hard but don't worry that i have a wobbly belly. It's part of me! I'm happier and more confident now than i have ever been.

It has nothing to do with men off the site before anyone comes along as says it - it's because i'm finally accepting me for me, not what others want me to me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is unfortunately due to sales, the idea that only size 10's will sell cars, clothes etc, many women have died trying to stay slim so that they can strut their stuff on the catwalk. Thats why women strive to be slim, because society says so, unfortunately we all cannot afford personal trainers or the gym, and of course some of us dont want to. Some are happy with the way they are be it a size 14 or 24, thats because they are confident with their body and it oozes out of them.

Some love their flabby mummy tummy, personally i despise mine intensely and if i could have liposuction i would.

I have managed to grow to, over the last 2 yrs like myself, its taken me 20 odd years to do that and i try not to let those that make fun of me, affect me and my new found confidence. I even wear clothes to enhance my figure as opposed to hiding it.

The thing about being my age is that we are not so hung up about looks, we are more confident in ourselves and about ourselves, some of us as has been said, actually like a bit of weight, nothing against fit gym attending people, but next to them, even though im only a size 14, id feel like the michelin man, and its also a reason i much prefer my own age group, the youngsters ive seen on here are far too fit and slim, with them, looks are everything as they've not yet grown into the world where personality counts more.

As you have said, we are not everyones cup of tea but equally some are not ours.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Most of my ex's have been the fuller figure. Not once have i been embarrassed when out in public with them and its not what others think its what i think and at the time they made me happy and i loved their figure.

In my experience big girls are more fun but its not for that reason i'm with them or was with them its because i find the bigger women attractive.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

I didnt see the other thread so i dont know what was said on it.

In my life, all my "proper" relationships the guy has never naturally been attracted to large women, Jays ex wife was a size 10 he had never been with a woman above a size 12. So i think that although a guy/woman may be attracted to a certain body type, to have a relationship with someone it takes more than their size. Since having the internet and realizing that so many men do like the larger lady, i have never been short of messages for people to meet me, in 8 years ive only sent out 2 messages to guys first regarding a meet.

Im also aware that the stereotype is that everyone is attracted to someone a size 10 or 12. I blame the media for this and not men. I think years ago men probely hid the fact that they liked larger women because of the media.

Women can be beautiful, whether they are a size 10 or a size 30. What isnt attractive is someone who isnt happy with themselves, we may not like ourselves all the time but we are all individuals and that is what makes the world go round. Its been said many times on here and by men, the most attractive quality someone can have is confidence, that comes from within and nothing to do with body size.

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By *leasureDomeMan over a year ago

all over the place

First off what a good well balanced post by the op ...next, for me as a guy, its personalitry every time.

A size 24 or a 12 with a great personality ,enjoying life,confident and with a great smile works far better over the alternative and opposite.

Negative attitudes i find a big turnoff

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What a fabulous thread - so many brilliant points made. To me, well I speak actually for both of us, a genuine self-confidence, irrespective of the person's size or looks and their intelligence are the most attractive features.

We accept we will not be everybody's cup of tea and likewise we do not fancy everybody in return, however the "selection criteria" for swinging, as indeed for many other aspects of human friendships are based on more than superficial shallow looks. And they can change over time?

And if we are talking about the superficial looks criteria, given a choice I (female) love bigger blokes, love longish greying hair, love a bloke to be quite manly and also mentally to be "his own man" - but hey in swinging that does not rule out the slimmer ones with short blond, brown or ginger hair.

Isnt it fabulous we all like different things? How boring would a box of chocolate be if all chocolates looked and tasted the same...?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Most of my ex's have been the fuller figure. Not once have i been embarrassed when out in public with them and its not what others think its what i think and at the time they made me happy and i loved their figure.

In my experience big girls are more fun but its not for that reason i'm with them or was with them its because i find the bigger women attractive.

"
good to see a man who openly appreciates women who are bigger

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By *etillanteWoman over a year ago

I was very concious of my weight combined with my height (5ft 1"), I was at one point half as wide as I was tall.

Lost weight due to illness, kept it off as my appetite shrank and also excercise.

I'm still the same person, ok a bit more confident in myself, but that is due to circumstances, not weight.

Would I feel the same if I put the inches back on? Hell yes

It's about the person inside not the weight inside

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