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Oooops a Pooopsy
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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OMFG, I have given birth to two children and never suffered the embarrassing and dreaded 'pooing in labour'.
We were having anal and then I lay on the kitchen table on my back and hubby made me squirt so hard that out popped a little surprise 
I screamed 'don't look, don't look' so of course he looked and then ran away, only returning to chuck a toilet roll at me.
I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell.
CANNOT BELIEVE IT 
I realise that this post will ensure I never get a meet EVER AGAIN but it was so mortifying and funny that I felt I had to share with you lovely lot.
You're welcome xxx |
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"OMFG, I have given birth to two children and never suffered the embarrassing and dreaded 'pooing in labour'.
We were having anal and then I lay on the kitchen table on my back and hubby made me squirt so hard that out popped a little surprise
I screamed 'don't look, don't look' so of course he looked and then ran away, only returning to chuck a toilet roll at me.
I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell.
CANNOT BELIEVE IT
I realise that this post will ensure I never get a meet EVER AGAIN but it was so mortifying and funny that I felt I had to share with you lovely lot.
You're welcome xxx"
Shit happens |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was in labour and told the midwife I wanted to defecate. We had a debate, her saying it was the pressure of the baby's head. I was insistent... And right grrrr.
I hope she was embarrassed more than me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was in labour and told the midwife I wanted to defecate. We had a debate, her saying it was the pressure of the baby's head. I was insistent... And right grrrr.
I hope she was embarrassed more than me."
However, I've never shit during any form of sex, inc anal  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was in labour and told the midwife I wanted to defecate. We had a debate, her saying it was the pressure of the baby's head. I was insistent... And right grrrr.
I hope she was embarrassed more than me.
However, I've never shit during any form of sex, inc anal ."
You must be missing out.....no one has fucked the shit out of you yet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was in labour and told the midwife I wanted to defecate. We had a debate, her saying it was the pressure of the baby's head. I was insistent... And right grrrr.
I hope she was embarrassed more than me.
However, I've never shit during any form of sex, inc anal .
You must be missing out.....no one has fucked the shit out of you yet."
Thankfully  |
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"I was in labour and told the midwife I wanted to defecate. We had a debate, her saying it was the pressure of the baby's head. I was insistent... And right grrrr.
I hope she was embarrassed more than me."
Midwives see it so often that I doubt they're embarrassed by it |
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"OMFG crying with laughter
I like to see the positive and if my experience can brighten your day then that's great  "
Bravo you for posting and to think i was mortifiedly embarrassed after taking a little tumble at the busy anti natal clinic this afternoon, doesnt seem so bad now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very funny !! I dont think it will put anyone off the ability to make fun of. Such an.embarrasing experience to make people laugh. Proves ur a fun loving lady ! Thanks for making me smile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OMFG, I have given birth to two children and never suffered the embarrassing and dreaded 'pooing in labour'.
We were having anal and then I lay on the kitchen table on my back and hubby made me squirt so hard that out popped a little surprise
I screamed 'don't look, don't look' so of course he looked and then ran away, only returning to chuck a toilet roll at me.
I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell.
CANNOT BELIEVE IT
I realise that this post will ensure I never get a meet EVER AGAIN but it was so mortifying and funny that I felt I had to share with you lovely lot.
You're welcome xxx"
I think some might see it has a challenge lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was in labour and told the midwife I wanted to defecate. We had a debate, her saying it was the pressure of the baby's head. I was insistent... And right grrrr.
I hope she was embarrassed more than me.
Midwives see it so often that I doubt they're embarrassed by it"
Embarrassed about not listening.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OMFG, I have given birth to two children and never suffered the embarrassing and dreaded 'pooing in labour'.
We were having anal and then I lay on the kitchen table on my back and hubby made me squirt so hard that out popped a little surprise
I screamed 'don't look, don't look' so of course he looked and then ran away, only returning to chuck a toilet roll at me.
I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell.
CANNOT BELIEVE IT
I realise that this post will ensure I never get a meet EVER AGAIN but it was so mortifying and funny that I felt I had to share with you lovely lot.
You're welcome xxx"
well done hubby!  quick efficient and good at his job  have a great wknd guys X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OMFG, I have given birth to two children and never suffered the embarrassing and dreaded 'pooing in labour'.
We were having anal and then I lay on the kitchen table on my back and hubby made me squirt so hard that out popped a little surprise
I screamed 'don't look, don't look' so of course he looked and then ran away, only returning to chuck a toilet roll at me.
I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell.
CANNOT BELIEVE IT
I realise that this post will ensure I never get a meet EVER AGAIN but it was so mortifying and funny that I felt I had to share with you lovely lot.
You're welcome xxx"
That's why we always douche, saves the embarrassment! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tried anal a couple of times with my ex before. Second time we did it after I pulled out a small log popped out onto the bed. I was like "OH SHIT SHIT DON'T MOVE" before running off to the bathroom to get tissue for her. She was so mortified that she henceforth called it "the incident that never happened". While sometimes I'd tease her by calling her "poopie" while we were in bed. Which often ended in her punching my shoulder before proceeding to fuck my brains out! |
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By *eshzMan
over a year ago
0151 |
"OMFG, I have given birth to two children and never suffered the embarrassing and dreaded 'pooing in labour'.
We were having anal and then I lay on the kitchen table on my back and hubby made me squirt so hard that out popped a little surprise
I screamed 'don't look, don't look' so of course he looked and then ran away, only returning to chuck a toilet roll at me.
I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell.
CANNOT BELIEVE IT
I realise that this post will ensure I never get a meet EVER AGAIN but it was so mortifying and funny that I felt I had to share with you lovely lot.
You're welcome xxx"
I did laugh at this, not because it was an embarrassing moment but the way you describe the speed he ran away and came back with a toilet roll. Honestly though, this is very normal when your body goes into such tense and pleasurable moment during squirting that you lose control of certain muscles... so honestly I wouldn't feel that embarrassed.. in fact to your husband for making you squirt that hard  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sorry for laughing but glad you posted your story, still laughing at the "don't look,don't look" comment lol.
It could have been worse he could have said "look a malteaser" and picked it up and ate it. |
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"OMFG, I have given birth to two children and never suffered the embarrassing and dreaded 'pooing in labour'.
We were having anal and then I lay on the kitchen table on my back and hubby made me squirt so hard that out popped a little surprise
I screamed 'don't look, don't look' so of course he looked and then ran away, only returning to chuck a toilet roll at me.
I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell.
CANNOT BELIEVE IT
I realise that this post will ensure I never get a meet EVER AGAIN but it was so mortifying and funny that I felt I had to share with you lovely lot.
You're welcome xxx"
Omg xi was just about to have my breakfast x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OMFG, I have given birth to two children and never suffered the embarrassing and dreaded 'pooing in labour'.
We were having anal and then I lay on the kitchen table on my back and hubby made me squirt so hard that out popped a little surprise
I screamed 'don't look, don't look' so of course he looked and then ran away, only returning to chuck a toilet roll at me.
I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell.
CANNOT BELIEVE IT
I realise that this post will ensure I never get a meet EVER AGAIN but it was so mortifying and funny that I felt I had to share with you lovely lot.
You're welcome xxx"
How can I unread this? |
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"OMFG, I have given birth to two children and never suffered the embarrassing and dreaded 'pooing in labour'.
We were having anal and then I lay on the kitchen table on my back and hubby made me squirt so hard that out popped a little surprise
I screamed 'don't look, don't look' so of course he looked and then ran away, only returning to chuck a toilet roll at me.
I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell.
CANNOT BELIEVE IT
I realise that this post will ensure I never get a meet EVER AGAIN but it was so mortifying and funny that I felt I had to share with you lovely lot.
You're welcome xxx
How can I unread this?"
If you find out , let me know.
|
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Sorry to add to your embarrassment but I think this deserves to go in the Lounge rather than be hidden away in Support and Advice "
The power you have at your fingertips!
OP, you'll still get plenty of meets but maybe not for dinner at your place.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ha ha sorry Op this is so funny giggidy your more than just an arse, your a exploding arse!!
Only if I eat too much curry
cross that off the to do list ==== not a curry beer social before play kind of meet "
I don't drink beer,lager or cider  |
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"I still keep laughing at this bit more than the rest "I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell." "
Were those little turds like ball bearings then?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ha ha sorry Op this is so funny giggidy your more than just an arse, your a exploding arse!!
Only if I eat too much curry
cross that off the to do list ==== not a curry beer social before play kind of meet
I don't drink beer,lager or cider "
what's your poison then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I still keep laughing at this bit more than the rest "I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell." "
Me too. What a mental image! |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I still keep laughing at this bit more than the rest "I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell."
Were those little turds like ball bearings then? "
No it was the squirty juice that did it |
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