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I wouldn't call you a complete idiot..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

...there's still some bits missing

what are your put-downs?

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By *ig badMan over a year ago

Up North :-)

What in person, on line or on the phone?

In person i often don't need to but on the phone i will probably insult someone's parentage if pushed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"...there's still some bits missing

what are your put-downs?"

So that was you in that club xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

have you rehearsed being that thick normally does the trick

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

put yer brain into gear

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not the sharpest knife in a full canteen!

A few fish knives short of a full canteen!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

ten pence short of a pound

not the full shilling

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Can we still be friends?! That's like saying the dog has died; can we keep it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

oh, he/she means well.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

sandwich short of a picnic

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"sandwich short of a picnic"

Oi cant ya sleep?? ya want ta get a telly in ya bedroom girl xx

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"sandwich short of a picnic

Oi cant ya sleep?? ya want ta get a telly in ya bedroom girl xx

If you had read what i had written correctly i said it was sorted now

No i cant sleep and i dont understand the matrix

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"sandwich short of a picnic

Oi cant ya sleep?? ya want ta get a telly in ya bedroom girl xx

If you had read what i had written correctly i said it was sorted now

No i cant sleep and i dont understand the matrix"

Women dont understand the matrix lol xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would engage you in a battle of wits but I fear you'd be unarmed.

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I love telling people

"the wheel is spinning.... but the hamsters dead!"

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Why don't you just open your mind and shut your mouth, both are empty anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes its better to just tell them the truth about how you see them. I tend to veer towards immature and lacking respect as that is often what i come across in some people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's better to keep quiet and be thought a fool, rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's better to keep quiet and be thought a fool, rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt!"

That one always makes me smile as inevitably someone will respond to it confirming your suspicions.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It amazes me how everytime you open your mouth, you prove you are an idiot

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To disrespectful men, I find the old, "when your cock is as big as your mouth, come back and try again" fairly satisfying.

Also had one rude guy recently, who said fancy a hard cock etc... to which I replied that the romantic approach did nothing for me lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's better to keep quiet and be thought a fool, rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt!"

I got a week's ban for using that very line!!

I much prefer these two though:

~ I've got one nerve left, and you're getting right on it.

..or..

~ Is that your own brain or are you breaking it in for an idiot?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If brains were light you wouldn't have enough to see in a pitch black cave

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd love it if the hairs on your arse turned into drumsticks and beat the shit out of you.

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

Oh, for fuck's sake. You'd lose your fucking arse if it wasn't in between your ears.

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

I want to put you in a snow globe. Just so I can shake it up. And shake it up. And shake it up. And shake it up. Shake it up. Give it a really good shake. Shake it some more. One more shake. Bastard.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You're just like a slinky. Not much use but fucking great fun when pushed down the stairs.

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By *umourCouple over a year ago

Rushden

It's must be hard being a son/daughter of no parentage. (You would be surprised how long it takes some people to realise what that means!)

Definately a burger short of a Big Mac!

Do you need some toilet paper to wipe your mouth?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's better to keep quiet and be thought a fool, rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt!

I got a week's ban for using that very line!!

I much prefer these two though:

~ I've got one nerve left, and you're getting right on it.

..or..

~ Is that your own brain or are you breaking it in for an idiot?"

Harsh!!

I have a variation on the nerve one: simply, you're getting on my last nerve!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's better to keep quiet and be thought a fool, rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt!

That one always makes me smile as inevitably someone will respond to it confirming your suspicions."

Oh so true!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To disrespectful men, I find the old, "when your cock is as big as your mouth, come back and try again" fairly satisfying.

Also had one rude guy recently, who said fancy a hard cock etc... to which I replied that the romantic approach did nothing for me lol

Aaaah, to the ubiquitous "you wanna fuck" messages..."not while Duracell still make batteries!"

And to describe someone you just wouldn't...well, I wouldn't touch him with somebody elses barge pole!

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

Just the thought of kissing you makes me want to take a vegetable peeler to my lips.

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By *ertnbeckyCouple over a year ago

oldham

thought i saw your name on a loaf of bread but i got it wrong it said thick cut

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When god was giving out heads, you thought he said beds and asked for a big soft one.......

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

'I could wade through your deepest thoughts and not get my ankles wet'.

Never actually used it though. Just saving it for the right moment.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

Id love to fuck your brains out but it seems I was too late

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By *ottyhunkCouple over a year ago

Leyburn

I know some people are born a halfpenny short of a shilling, but in your case, God added VAT

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Id love to fuck your brains out but it seems I was too late

Bugger! I can borrow some from somewhere y'know.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

the worst one ive come out with and it was totally ignorant of me but was being harrassed so forgive me now and i never meant it but they wouldnt leave me alone wait for it im cringing now..... im sorry i dont normally speak to northeners ewwww

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By *razydriver8Couple over a year ago

plymouth

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time

your not a complete idiot.....

..... some parts got lost in the post!!

.. dribbled down your mothers leg.

.... got left behind on the toilet seat.

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

Dont be a twat all your life, take the day off!

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

Everybody is entitled to be stupid, but you are abusing the priviledge.

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

I do like a good battle of wits, but it seems you are unarmed!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

One of my favourites is "You're about as much use as a chocolate teapot"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I also like: you are from the shallow end of the gene pool, and, When God was handing out brains, you thought he said trains and asked for a slow one!

And if they are stuck up, they are so far up their own arse, they need a straw to breathe!

Just call me the cliche queen

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your not ugly..........Your fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckin` ugly!

I`ll put a bag over my head too, just incase yours comes off!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Your not ugly..........Your fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckin` ugly!

I`ll put a bag over my head too, just incase yours comes off!"

Thats what i call a double bagger

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