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Place to reflect on Mother's Day
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This may not work, but thought I'd try it.
Mothers Day is often a bittersweet day or difficult day for many people. That's for any number of reasons.
I am a Mum, but I've lost my Mum so it's a mixture of emotions today. I'm lucky I know , as I'll be spoilt today. Will miss taking the flowers and box of Milk Tray though to my Mum (she liked the fact I got her the same every year) and taking her out to lunch with us.
So I'm sending hugs to those for whom it's a difficult day. Xx |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I have mixed emotions too.
My mother has dementia and often thinks I am her mother, grandmother or a social worker. It's difficult visiting her at times and I'm not sure I will go today as it will be after 6pm when I get back to London. She doesn't have a clue in the evenings.
I had one baby who died. It's not enough to qualify as a mother. However, for many years one of my mother's friends who was a midwife at the hospital my son was born at, would collect the posy of flowers at church for me and make sure I had the Mothering Sunday gift. It was such a kindness and acknowledgement that I had had a child.
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By *riggsyMan
over a year ago
rugby |
I will be going to see my mum's grave today and it will be hard. I don't agree about saying you weren't a mum as only had a baby. It doesn't matter that you were only a mum for a short time you were still a mum and i an so sorry to hear you had such a tragic loss xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have my mum, and a beautiful little girl, but lost my son, so is a bittersweet day. Can be abit of a struggle, but I try to focus on what I have got now, my son will never be forgotten, and I love him dearly, but I try not to let the loss of him impact on my daughters life.x |
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By *riggsyMan
over a year ago
rugby |
"This may not work, but thought I'd try it.
Mothers Day is often a bittersweet day or difficult day for many people. That's for any number of reasons.
I am a Mum, but I've lost my Mum so it's a mixture of emotions today. I'm lucky I know , as I'll be spoilt today. Will miss taking the flowers and box of Milk Tray though to my Mum (she liked the fact I got her the same every year) and taking her out to lunch with us.
So I'm sending hugs to those for whom it's a difficult day. Xx"
sending you big hugs today young lady xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have mixed emotions too.
My mother has dementia and often thinks I am her mother, grandmother or a social worker. It's difficult visiting her at times and I'm not sure I will go today as it will be after 6pm when I get back to London. She doesn't have a clue in the evenings.
I had one baby who died. It's not enough to qualify as a mother. However, for many years one of my mother's friends who was a midwife at the hospital my son was born at, would collect the posy of flowers at church for me and make sure I had the Mothering Sunday gift. It was such a kindness and acknowledgement that I had had a child.
"
of course it qualifies - im not going to write what i was going to cos this made me gulp  xxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I too have mixed emotions today. Lost my mum a few years ago.
Had some lovely gifts and a whole lot of love from my beautiful kids but miss not being able to do the same for my mum. Xx |
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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
It's going to be a diffucult day in my world today. This is likely to be my mums last Mother's Day. She has terminal cancer and they are using chemo as palliative care but it doesn't look like it will work much longer. It's a bittersweet day, thankful she is here but scared of the future.
I am crying now but know I am going to be all bright and breezy later on pretending that the world is a okay place....,but inside knowing everything is wrong. I feel for all you lovely fab people with loved ones that have passed but I hope your day is filled with lovely memories of happy times   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's a lovely post Iona, thank you.
My 1st mothers day without my mum so i've been dreading it
It's been a challenge to enter the spirit of the occasion for my daughters sake but I'll have a few tears & pick myself up.
xx
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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
"I have mixed emotions too.
My mother has dementia and often thinks I am her mother, grandmother or a social worker. It's difficult visiting her at times and I'm not sure I will go today as it will be after 6pm when I get back to London. She doesn't have a clue in the evenings.
I had one baby who died. It's not enough to qualify as a mother. However, for many years one of my mother's friends who was a midwife at the hospital my son was born at, would collect the posy of flowers at church for me and make sure I had the Mothering Sunday gift. It was such a kindness and acknowledgement that I had had a child.
"
A mum is a mum no matter for how long. Happy Mother's Day to you  xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's a lovely post Iona, thank you.
My 1st mothers day without my mum so i've been dreading it
It's been a challenge to enter the spirit of the occasion for my daughters sake but I'll have a few tears & pick myself up.
xx
Sending ((hugs)).
"
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I have mixed emotions too.
My mother has dementia and often thinks I am her mother, grandmother or a social worker. It's difficult visiting her at times and I'm not sure I will go today as it will be after 6pm when I get back to London. She doesn't have a clue in the evenings.
I had one baby who died. It's not enough to qualify as a mother. However, for many years one of my mother's friends who was a midwife at the hospital my son was born at, would collect the posy of flowers at church for me and make sure I had the Mothering Sunday gift. It was such a kindness and acknowledgement that I had had a child.
of course it qualifies - im not going to write what i was going to cos this made me gulp xxxxxxxxxxxxxx"
Write away.
I'm just a bit emo today but I'll get over it and enjoy seeing children making a fuss of their mothers for a nanosecond.
I'll also be doing something for SANDS today in recognition of all the other mothers who don't get to see their babies grow and make them breakfast today.
Motherhood is a gift and it's one that, done right, gives and enhances our world.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel cheated having lost my mum 3 years ago at only 65. It's a tough day for me personally, i will pop to see her with some flowers and even have a natter to her. I find the hardest part seeing everyone's facebook status that are still lucky enough to have their mothers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mr here , I've wished my mum a happy Mother's Day while driving to work . She left us about seven years ago but she is still with us in our heart and memories . Today is a celebration for mums everywhere , in heaven or on earth so enjoy the day as time is precious xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sorry to be on a different side of the fence but im sure im not alone - my mum and i havent spoken for over 30 years and never really got on /cared from when i was a very very young age - just the way it is - me and my kids on the other hand are very close xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"sorry to be on a different side of the fence but im sure im not alone - my mum and i havent spoken for over 30 years and never really got on /cared from when i was a very very young age - just the way it is - me and my kids on the other hand are very close xxxx"
Hope you have a good day with your kids hun  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have mixed emotions too.
My mother has dementia and often thinks I am her mother, grandmother or a social worker. It's difficult visiting her at times and I'm not sure I will go today as it will be after 6pm when I get back to London. She doesn't have a clue in the evenings.
I had one baby who died. It's not enough to qualify as a mother. However, for many years one of my mother's friends who was a midwife at the hospital my son was born at, would collect the posy of flowers at church for me and make sure I had the Mothering Sunday gift. It was such a kindness and acknowledgement that I had had a child.
of course it qualifies - im not going to write what i was going to cos this made me gulp xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Write away.
I'm just a bit emo today but I'll get over it and enjoy seeing children making a fuss of their mothers for a nanosecond.
I'll also be doing something for SANDS today in recognition of all the other mothers who don't get to see their babies grow and make them breakfast today.
Motherhood is a gift and it's one that, done right, gives and enhances our world.
"
xxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"sorry to be on a different side of the fence but im sure im not alone - my mum and i havent spoken for over 30 years and never really got on /cared from when i was a very very young age - just the way it is - me and my kids on the other hand are very close xxxx
Hope you have a good day with your kids hun "
i will - well all grown up - daughter is here for the weekend and son lives abroad - im not sad about my mum at all it is what it is - we dont choose family |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"sorry to be on a different side of the fence but im sure im not alone - my mum and i havent spoken for over 30 years and never really got on /cared from when i was a very very young age - just the way it is - me and my kids on the other hand are very close xxxx"
I understand that. It doesn't make the day of celebration for mothering any easier.
Enjoy your children and know your mother's failures have helped make you a great mother to your children. |
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My mother died 13 years ago. Didn't send her mothers day card when she was alive as I didn't like her. I remember feeling sad out with a friend buying her mum a card, wishing my mother was one I wanted to send a card to.
Received a card in the post from my daughter and son-in-law, the other two will take me to lunch and I'll remember my son, who would have been 25 this year.
Thing is my girls show me they love me all the time: we have a good relationship. They'll fuss, I'll accept graciously, but it's not necessary. |
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"This may not work, but thought I'd try it.
Mothers Day is often a bittersweet day or difficult day for many people. That's for any number of reasons.
I am a Mum, but I've lost my Mum so it's a mixture of emotions today. I'm lucky I know , as I'll be spoilt today. Will miss taking the flowers and box of Milk Tray though to my Mum (she liked the fact I got her the same every year) and taking her out to lunch with us.
So I'm sending hugs to those for whom it's a difficult day. Xx"
Nothing to say you could share those things with your daughter in memory of your mum ? Make it a regular thing maybe ? |
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"My mother died 13 years ago. Didn't send her mothers day card when she was alive as I didn't like her. I remember feeling sad out with a friend buying her mum a card, wishing my mother was one I wanted to send a card to.
Received a card in the post from my daughter and son-in-law, the other two will take me to lunch and I'll remember my son, who would have been 25 this year.
Thing is my girls show me they love me all the time: we have a good relationship. They'll fuss, I'll accept graciously, but it's not necessary."
I should add: it's not necessary for me, making a fuss. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I lost my mum to a car accident in 1977, I was 11 years old, my sister's were 13 and 15.
Thankfully I have only happy memories of her.
I think my biggest sadness is that she never got to meet any of her grandchildren and that my father never really got over the loss of his solemate.
Big hugs to everyone who has lost there mum the stories on here are humbling xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I lost my mother last week at the age of 61 but I'm emotional today and trying to keep up a brave face . "
Let your emotions come out as it's still very raw for you. Letting them out can be cathartic. My Mum was the same age as yours when we lost her and I still miss her every day. Time does heal, but you'll always miss her. She will always be with you in your heart and memories. She's still watching over you. Xx
Thank you to the other posters for sharing. Some posts have made me cry. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thank you for this post.. I'm in the same boat as the original poster and it would have been my mums birthday on Friday... Mr has been great at keeping me distracted and supported.
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What a lovely lot we are when times are tough people off fab pull together and send there support and wishes . This is a touching thread but shows there are still nice people out there when times are hard . Have a wonderful day to everyone xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having read this thread I feel for those who have lost there mothers and for those who have not or become estranged .We never get to choose our parents and if your lucky enough they will be the caring ,nurturing and loving people we all deserve .So many have written more eloquent posts but lastly I'd add this
The bond that links your true family
is not one of blood ,but of respect
and joy in each other's life,
Rarely do members of one family
grow up under the same roof
Xx |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"This may not work, but thought I'd try it.
Mothers Day is often a bittersweet day or difficult day for many people. That's for any number of reasons.
I am a Mum, but I've lost my Mum so it's a mixture of emotions today. I'm lucky I know , as I'll be spoilt today. Will miss taking the flowers and box of Milk Tray though to my Mum (she liked the fact I got her the same every year) and taking her out to lunch with us.
So I'm sending hugs to those for whom it's a difficult day. Xx"
Sadly it's a difficult day for my mum. My brother was killed 21 months ago.
The first Mothers' Day I didn't know what to do but I ended up taking her a card from both of us and some flowers. She cried but said after it was nice.
I'll do the same thing this year, (although I'm taking one of her favourite perfumes this time).
It's sad that sometimes a day meant for celebration can become a day of pain. There are so many ways a loss can impact on family and friends that you never think of until it happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have mixed emotions too.
My mother has dementia and often thinks I am her mother, grandmother or a social worker. It's difficult visiting her at times and I'm not sure I will go today as it will be after 6pm when I get back to London. She doesn't have a clue in the evenings.
I had one baby who died. It's not enough to qualify as a mother. However, for many years one of my mother's friends who was a midwife at the hospital my son was born at, would collect the posy of flowers at church for me and make sure I had the Mothering Sunday gift. It was such a kindness and acknowledgement that I had had a child.
"
It qualifies, no matter the length of time.
Bit hugs to you, happy Mother's Day x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thank you Iona. Beautiful post. I can barely type through the tears. My beautiful mum lost her battle with cancer and was only on her 40s when we lost her, I miss her so much.
Lots of love to all of you gorgeous people who have lost their mum or child and Happy Mothers Day to all . Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow I've gone as well. I lost mine the week after Dianas funeral and if it wasn't for that day I would have never seen her before she died.
I remember the day, we didn't argue for once abs I told her I loved her. Ten minutes later she was gone.
My heart goes out to all the posters and everyone who is not celebrating this day. |
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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago
more north lincs than mids! |
Bittersweet day for my family too. I'm lucky enough to still have my mum, and both my children but my mum recently lost her mum and is really struggling.
Being over 200 miles away isn't helping either of us but we can remember my Gran, and say thanks that we had her in our lives for so long.
Happy mother's day to all you wonderful mummy's out there xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have mixed emotions too.
My mother has dementia and often thinks I am her mother, grandmother or a social worker. It's difficult visiting her at times and I'm not sure I will go today as it will be after 6pm when I get back to London. She doesn't have a clue in the evenings.
I had one baby who died. It's not enough to qualify as a mother. However, for many years one of my mother's friends who was a midwife at the hospital my son was born at, would collect the posy of flowers at church for me and make sure I had the Mothering Sunday gift. It was such a kindness and acknowledgement that I had had a child.
"
You had a baby lickety, so you qualify as a mummy. No matter how long he was with you. You will always be a mum xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mother's Day has never really been a big thing in my family, nor has fathers days.
to us it is just another day. I let my mum know I am thankful of her often, so don't need a day to say it.
We all miss our loved ones, but we visit their graves often enough, and miss them always and often talk about them.
I feel it is another fad like Valentine's Day! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mother's Day has never really been a big thing in my family, nor has fathers days.
to us it is just another day. I let my mum know I am thankful of her often, so don't need a day to say it.
We all miss our loved ones, but we visit their graves often enough, and miss them always and often talk about them.
I feel it is another fad like Valentine's Day!"
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"sorry to be on a different side of the fence but im sure im not alone - my mum and i havent spoken for over 30 years and never really got on /cared from when i was a very very young age - just the way it is - me and my kids on the other hand are very close xxxx"
It's an important point to raise. Too much sentiment and the realities of human relationships are glossed over.
It will have made you stronger in some ways im sure.
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Mother's Day has never really been a big thing in my family, nor has fathers days.
to us it is just another day. I let my mum know I am thankful of her often, so don't need a day to say it.
We all miss our loved ones, but we visit their graves often enough, and miss them always and often talk about them.
I feel it is another fad like Valentine's Day!"
Fad? It's a Christian festival day. There's a special service for Mothering Sunday.
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