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jesus was
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The French cometa study found that there was just to much evidence to be casually swept aside as we have in the past.
UFOs are and have always been here.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do they have a Similar Opinion on Muhammad..  "
Mohammed was an illiterate peasant educated by a Jewish scholar. Like the Christians, he started his own franchise called Islam. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jesus story came about from a story of adultery denile that got way out of hand!
Oh and how come Jesus didn't have a crib for a bed when his dad was a carpenter? |
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"Mildly disappointed when the Dragons didn't want to invest in his chain of fishes and loaves restaurants as they didn't get the all you can eat for 3 sheckles part?  "
ah yes you see thats because he said blessed are the cheese makers . The had a better return on the sheckle year on year .  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yeh but what are the chances of anything coming from mars? .
A million to 1 he said.... But still they come "
I saw a video on Here recently where two american jets Were seen trying to Intercept a ufo or Whatever it was by a person below the Vapour trail or whatever it was again as That is what it looked just vanished And One of the jets took pursuit in fast Mode whatever that was But was soon out of sight how much Coverage that got I don,t know, but Personally speaking I find it Intriqeing, I,ve heard tales of chase,s like this before and the Outcome is always the same where the jet is left behind and the object Vanish,s but to witness it on film is Amazeing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The 'Jesus is an alien' story is bollocks but STILL a thousand times more believable and probable than the total cobblers written in the bible  "
I wonder in 1000 years time if the bible will be forgotten and children will be learning about 'Frodo and the one ring'? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus story came about from a story of adultery denile that got way out of hand!
Oh and how come Jesus didn't have a crib for a bed when his dad was a carpenter?"
Have,nt you seen all the Christmas cards.. |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"Mildly disappointed when the Dragons didn't want to invest in his chain of fishes and loaves restaurants as they didn't get the all you can eat for 3 sheckles part?
ah yes you see thats because he said blessed are the cheese makers . The had a better return on the sheckle year on year . "
He also managed to piss of the Brewers and Victuallers Union, too |
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"Mildly disappointed when the Dragons didn't want to invest in his chain of fishes and loaves restaurants as they didn't get the all you can eat for 3 sheckles part?
ah yes you see thats because he said blessed are the cheese makers . The had a better return on the sheckle year on year .
He also managed to piss of the Brewers and Victuallers Union, too "
is this the judian peoples front or the peoples judian front ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A sailor, when he walked upon the water.
wouldnt that make him a floater? 
And wouldn't term 'floater' refer to him as a turd?
Richard III was actually Jesus "
"Then let us to it pell mell, if not to heaven then hand in hand to hell" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus was ..................
Playing for City tonight ...............
And he was shite ..................
 "
Yes and your Jesus turned the Clarets into winners |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Then let us to it pell mell, if not to heaven then hand in hand to hell"
You could change yer username to Anne Hathaway  "
Sheesh and have a husband like William S. Nawhhh. |
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Undoubtedly there's alien life outside of our planet. The chances of them traveling for millions of light years to abduct some red necks, impregnations or otherwise, whilst having such highly sophisticated technology and doing little else does render the stories into the realm of utter bollocks, if I can borrow that from the other poster.
And of course a collection of assorted tales, assembled by some self-interested Roman emperor into the first reader's digest type compendium, is a similar load of bollocks on stilts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mildly disappointed when the Dragons didn't want to invest in his chain of fishes and loaves restaurants as they didn't get the all you can eat for 3 sheckles part? "
ahhh the dragon burps.
The apocalypse is upon us  |
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By *dsindyTV/TS
over a year ago
East Lancashire |
Ahhhh, Jesus is an alien.
Mary abducted by little grey men, probed up her rectum then given a good impregnating with the star trek version of a turkey baster.
Didn't recall any of that in the bible.....and my R.E. teacher at school never mentioned either; though I wouldn't know,I was to busy looking at her tits and having a sly grope of myself under the desk.......ahhhhh, teenage hormones. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The 'Jesus is an alien' story is bollocks but STILL a thousand times more believable and probable than the total cobblers written in the bible
I wonder in 1000 years time if the bible will be forgotten and children will be learning about 'Frodo and the one ring'? "
Better that than 50 shades or The Hunger Games!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are all Sinners and have been cast down into the bottomless pit of Fabswingers forums that is the one true Hell...Repent all you Blasphemers or spend eternity staring at Dick pictures
Saint Gimp  |
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"An alien.....
According to ufologists...
Apparently the star was a ufo and Mary was impregnated after being abducted..
"
Jesus was... according to the great philosopher's Elbow, Jesus Was A Rochdale Girl  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Somebody that was falsely accused, had a mock trial, then beaten , whipped the statutary 39 stripes, then stripped naked and nailed to a cross to die the most humiliating and agonizing deaths a Jew could undergo ought to warrant our deepest respect and compassion.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Somebody that was falsely accused, had a mock trial, then beaten , whipped the statutary 39 stripes, then stripped naked and nailed to a cross to die the most humiliating and agonizing deaths a Jew could undergo ought to warrant our deepest respect and compassion.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Somebody that was falsely accused, had a mock trial, then beaten , whipped the statutary 39 stripes, then stripped naked and nailed to a cross to die the most humiliating and agonizing deaths a Jew could undergo ought to warrant our deepest respect and compassion.
"
I'm sure the Romans did the same to many an unfortunate person in those days. I think 2000 years (allegedly) is a long enough time for respect and compassion to go cold. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jesus was actually black not white,he was also married he also had a brother which was James.Also Jesus wasnt crucified on a hill Ronans back then useally crucified criminals in a quarry.
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"Jesus was actually black not white,he was also married he also had a brother which was James.Also Jesus wasnt crucified on a hill Ronans back then useally crucified criminals in a quarry.
"
Read somewhere that Jesus looked more like Saddam Hussein than blond haired blue eye femine form you see in churches. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus was actually black not white,he was also married he also had a brother which was James.Also Jesus wasnt crucified on a hill Ronans back then useally crucified criminals in a quarry.
"
Israelis and Palestinians are not Black they tended to be Olive skinned, has anybody been able to produce proof that he was married?
Gimp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus was actually black not white,he was also married he also had a brother which was James.Also Jesus wasnt crucified on a hill Ronans back then useally crucified criminals in a quarry.
"
He was more mediterranean looking  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus was actually black not white,he was also married he also had a brother which was James.Also Jesus wasnt crucified on a hill Ronans back then useally crucified criminals in a quarry.
Israelis and Palestinians are not Black they tended to be Olive skinned, has anybody been able to produce proof that he was married?
Gimp"
how are you calling a gimp. Mary Mag washed jesus feet and combed hes hair it was a custom back then when they were a wedding and less of the name calling please. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus was actually black not white,he was also married he also had a brother which was James.Also Jesus wasnt crucified on a hill Ronans back then useally crucified criminals in a quarry.
He was more mediterranean looking "
I thought he would have looked Jewish? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus was actually black not white,he was also married he also had a brother which was James.Also Jesus wasnt crucified on a hill Ronans back then useally crucified criminals in a quarry.
Israelis and Palestinians are not Black they tended to be Olive skinned, has anybody been able to produce proof that he was married?
Gimp
how are you calling a gimp. Mary Mag washed jesus feet and combed hes hair it was a custom back then when they were a wedding and less of the name calling please. "
Ok lets go back to School here, were you never taught to sign your name at the bottom of a letter ?
Now then let us take this forward Five decades to Emails shall we.
Mr Archibald Snuffit Luvesmuffin Gimp the Third  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus was actually black not white,he was also married he also had a brother which was James.Also Jesus wasnt crucified on a hill Ronans back then useally crucified criminals in a quarry.
He was more mediterranean looking
I thought he would have looked Jewish?"
Jewish people look different all around the world! As he was supposedly born in Bethlehem, which is in Palestine, he would have probably been a lighter to darker brown complexion with dark brown or black hair. |
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"Mildly disappointed when the Dragons didn't want to invest in his chain of fishes and loaves restaurants as they didn't get the all you can eat for 3 sheckles part?
ah yes you see thats because he said blessed are the cheese makers . The had a better return on the sheckle year on year . "
I dont think he literally meant just cheese makers,more all makers of diary produce... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus was actually black not white,he was also married he also had a brother which was James.Also Jesus wasnt crucified on a hill Ronans back then useally crucified criminals in a quarry.
Israelis and Palestinians are not Black they tended to be Olive skinned, has anybody been able to produce proof that he was married?
Gimp
how are you calling a gimp. Mary Mag washed jesus feet and combed hes hair it was a custom back then when they were a wedding and less of the name calling please.
Ok lets go back to School here, were you never taught to sign your name at the bottom of a letter ?
Now then let us take this forward Five decades to Emails shall we.
Mr Archibald Snuffit Luvesmuffin Gimp the Third "
JESUS mate sorry about that im sorry there my mistake. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus was actually black not white,he was also married he also had a brother which was James.Also Jesus wasnt crucified on a hill Ronans back then useally crucified criminals in a quarry.
He was more mediterranean looking
I thought he would have looked Jewish?"
yes he might been a mix of them too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus was actually black not white,he was also married he also had a brother which was James.Also Jesus wasnt crucified on a hill Ronans back then useally crucified criminals in a quarry.
Israelis and Palestinians are not Black they tended to be Olive skinned, has anybody been able to produce proof that he was married?
Gimp
how are you calling a gimp. Mary Mag washed jesus feet and combed hes hair it was a custom back then when they were a wedding and less of the name calling please. "
It was also very common for the matriarch of a household to wash the feet and comb the hair of a visiting Rabbi, which Jesus probably was. Also, crucifixions of prominent people, like Rabbis, would have taken place where they could be seen best by the populace to further enforce Roman rule. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jesus is my saviour and he forgives you all:
"tell them my child" he just said to me.
"tell them what" i asked
"that i forgive them for their sins and judas and barabbus are having a gang bang on ilkley moor week weds invite only! Amen  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus was actually black not white,he was also married he also had a brother which was James.Also Jesus wasnt crucified on a hill Ronans back then useally crucified criminals in a quarry.
Israelis and Palestinians are not Black they tended to be Olive skinned, has anybody been able to produce proof that he was married?
Gimp
how are you calling a gimp. Mary Mag washed jesus feet and combed hes hair it was a custom back then when they were a wedding and less of the name calling please.
Ok lets go back to School here, were you never taught to sign your name at the bottom of a letter ?
Now then let us take this forward Five decades to Emails shall we.
Mr Archibald Snuffit Luvesmuffin Gimp the Third
JESUS mate sorry about that im sorry there my mistake. "
No worries Bruv, you aint the first n im sure wont be the last lol
Gimp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Facts
Jesus did exist and there was a comet in the sky around the approximate time of his birth.
Noah did build an Ark, there is plenty of documented evidence other than what is written in the bible. Scientists believe they may have found the site.
Myth
Moses parted the Red Sea. It was in fact a sea of reeds. Bad translation
Eve was Adams first wife. Not true, Lilith was Adams first wife but she was a naughty girl (worlds first swinger?) and banished from the garden of Eden.
Other truths
Jesus was a carpenter but he was also Rabbi. For him to have been a Rabbi he had to be married too (mary magdalene?)
He also had at least one brother, James who became the first pope although he is not recognised as such by the Catholic church.
What is the Bible?
It is a Cannon of books put together in the sixth century 73 if you are a catholic 66 if you read the version abridged by Martin Luther. Some of the books left out of is the book of Enoch. That one mentions Lilith.
Why are Catholic priests not allowed to marry? To stop the wives getting their hands on the churches money. Church law not gods law. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus was actually black not white,he was also married he also had a brother which was James.Also Jesus wasnt crucified on a hill Ronans back then useally crucified criminals in a quarry.
Israelis and Palestinians are not Black they tended to be Olive skinned, has anybody been able to produce proof that he was married?
Gimp
how are you calling a gimp. Mary Mag washed jesus feet and combed hes hair it was a custom back then when they were a wedding and less of the name calling please.
Ok lets go back to School here, were you never taught to sign your name at the bottom of a letter ?
Now then let us take this forward Five decades to Emails shall we.
Mr Archibald Snuffit Luvesmuffin Gimp the Third "
I applaud your contribution.
Sir Marmite of Cadalot, Protector of the Sacred Scrolls of Fab, White Knight of the Order of the Letcherous, Lyricist to the People, Admired by some, scorned by others,commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next. Oh hang on... |
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By *omaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
according to
A certain Mr Connelly from these parts, the whole nativity thing was supposed to have been played out in Glasgow. . . But they couldn't find three wise men and a Virgin.
Tenders were put out and as we all now know BethLehem came out tops! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Facts
Jesus did exist and there was a comet in the sky around the approximate time of his birth.
Noah did build an Ark, there is plenty of documented evidence other than what is written in the bible. Scientists believe they may have found the site.
Myth
Moses parted the Red Sea. It was in fact a sea of reeds. Bad translation
Eve was Adams first wife. Not true, Lilith was Adams first wife but she was a naughty girl (worlds first swinger?) and banished from the garden of Eden.
Other truths
Jesus was a carpenter but he was also Rabbi. For him to have been a Rabbi he had to be married too (mary magdalene?)
He also had at least one brother, James who became the first pope although he is not recognised as such by the Catholic church.
What is the Bible?
It is a Cannon of books put together in the sixth century 73 if you are a catholic 66 if you read the version abridged by Martin Luther. Some of the books left out of is the book of Enoch. That one mentions Lilith.
Why are Catholic priests not allowed to marry? To stop the wives getting their hands on the churches money. Church law not gods law. "
yes but it wasn't December 25th I read that scientists worked it out & if he was real he was born around may-July |
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By *omaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
ah but did he miss out on his Easter Eggs on that fateful day? . . You don't see any choccy egg wrappers laying below the cross in any paintings. , . And as for that Roman soldier stabbing him with his pork sword! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Somebody that was falsely accused, had a mock trial, then beaten , whipped the statutary 39 stripes, then stripped naked and nailed to a cross to die the most humiliating and agonizing deaths a Jew could undergo ought to warrant our deepest respect and compassion.
"
I found most of this thread very disrespectful of the views many people hold and support the comment above. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Facts
Jesus did exist and there was a comet in the sky around the approximate time of his birth.
Noah did build an Ark, there is plenty of documented evidence other than what is written in the bible. Scientists believe they may have found the site.
Myth
Moses parted the Red Sea. It was in fact a sea of reeds. Bad translation
Eve was Adams first wife. Not true, Lilith was Adams first wife but she was a naughty girl (worlds first swinger?) and banished from the garden of Eden.
Other truths
Jesus was a carpenter but he was also Rabbi. For him to have been a Rabbi he had to be married too (mary magdalene?)
He also had at least one brother, James who became the first pope although he is not recognised as such by the Catholic church.
What is the Bible?
It is a Cannon of books put together in the sixth century 73 if you are a catholic 66 if you read the version abridged by Martin Luther. Some of the books left out of is the book of Enoch. That one mentions Lilith.
Why are Catholic priests not allowed to marry? To stop the wives getting their hands on the churches money. Church law not gods law. yes but it wasn't December 25th I read that scientists worked it out & if he was real he was born around may-July "
There's also the "Herod Conundrum". According to the Bible, the 3 Magi saw and spoke to King Herod of Judea before visiting Bethlehem to witness the birth of Jesus. It is an unquestionable & well-recorded historical fact that Herod died 4 years before Jesus was reported to have been born. |
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By *omaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"Somebody that was falsely accused, had a mock trial, then beaten , whipped the statutary 39 stripes, then stripped naked and nailed to a cross to die the most humiliating and agonizing deaths a Jew could undergo ought to warrant our deepest respect and compassion.
I found most of this thread very disrespectful of the views many people hold and support the comment above."
And I find it disrespectful to human intelligence that the Bible tells us the earth is only 6000years old. . . When science has proved we are into many millions. The church and god are created by man. Not the other way around.
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I think we need to go further back to get the full story:
The Book Of Jeebus - Chapter 1
In the beginning there was nothing. Nothing but the vast emptiness of space and the almighty Lord God. These two things, the vastness of space, the glory of God and the passing of time......
In the beginning there was little else but God, eternity and infinity. In his glorious wisdom God looked around and surveyed his domain and lo, verily, it bored him beyond reason. He looked upon the vast inky blackness of infinite space and wondered unto himself 'How about a splash of colour?'
He gazed into the unfolding eons of infinity and wondered 'How shall I pass the time?'
The Lord looked and with the everything and nothing that fell beneath his omnipotent gaze he became displeased. 'Let There be Light!' he commanded, and lo there was light. Illuminating nothing.
God raised his powers to the task of creation and to this end he created a vast host of beings who should aid him in this task. These to be led by the very highest angel in this newly created hierarchy, the incarnation known to all as Gaffer.
And God spoke unto Gaffer and said to him - "With my design, you shall help me build the Earth and the Heaven, The skies, the sun and the moon!"
To this Gaffer responded with a slow intake of whistling breath, upon which he intoned the mantra of all of his kind, "It is not going to be cheap, your Mightiness."
God looked upon Gaffer and told him that this task should take six days and on the seventh day they should rest.
Gaffer responed that they would rest once every hour, with tea and biscuits.
And so the world was made. |
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By *omaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
What? and all with harmony? No trouble with material delivery problems? Not even an occasional sicky thrown in for good measure?
The brickies,chippies and sparks all working for flat rate?
Now that's a miracle !
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Somebody that was falsely accused, had a mock trial, then beaten , whipped the statutary 39 stripes, then stripped naked and nailed to a cross to die the most humiliating and agonizing deaths a Jew could undergo ought to warrant our deepest respect and compassion.
I found most of this thread very disrespectful of the views many people hold and support the comment above.
And I find it disrespectful to human intelligence that the Bible tells us the earth is only 6000years old. . . When science has proved we are into many millions. The church and god are created by man. Not the other way around.
"
Everyone is entitled to hold their own views and for those views to be respected. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can respect the right for people to hold views but you in no way, shape or form have to respect the views themselves. "
Damn right. I have my very strong opinions against all and any religion, but each to their own and all that. Attempt to force your views on me and I'll lose respect for that person. |
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