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are you allowed opposite sex friends...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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so a very close girl mate of mine has recently texted me and said her fiance is not wanting her to have any male friends, i think this is the first signs of controlling, any men/women been in this situation?
ironically he cheated on her months back and i told her to give him another chance haha  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wasn't allowed female friends,he didn't even like me talking about male work colleagues. Some people are very insecure and say it's because their partner can't be trusted. Incidentally,he cheated on me,had a full blown affair throughout our relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"so a very close girl mate of mine has recently texted me and said her fiance is not wanting her to have any male friends, i think this is the first signs of controlling, any men/women been in this situation?
ironically he cheated on her months back and i told her to give him another chance haha "
I wouldn't be in a relationship/friendship with someone who felt like they had the right to control who I enjoyed spending time with. |
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"I wasn't allowed female friends,he didn't even like me talking about male work colleagues. Some people are very insecure and say it's because their partner can't be trusted. Incidentally,he cheated on me,had a full blown affair throughout our relationship. "
The irony is usually that they're the ones who can't be trusted. |
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"I dont allow Nette any friends at all, not that i dont trust her 100% its just that im a utter utter Bastard 
Gimp"
You might not allow it Mr Gimpus Bastardii but she has them anyway, they're all down in the cellar  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont allow Nette any friends at all, not that i dont trust her 100% its just that im a utter utter Bastard
Gimp
You might not allow it Mr Gimpus Bastardii but she has them anyway, they're all down in the cellar "
Ooo thanks for the heads up
The Cheque is in the post
Brb off to nail up the Cellar Door and find my Flogger 
Bastardii Gimpus |
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It would be a deal breaker for me, and I would never dream of banning a partner from having friends of the opposite sex. That's how I felt before my wife and I opened our marriage.
I think its a sign both if insecurity and of a controlling partner. Who the hell am I (or is anyone) to dictate who another human being can be friends with? |
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"so a very close girl mate of mine has recently texted me and said her fiance is not wanting her to have any male friends, i think this is the first signs of controlling, any men/women been in this situation?
ironically he cheated on her months back and i told her to give him another chance haha
I wouldn't be in a relationship/friendship with someone who felt like they had the right to control who I enjoyed spending time with."
 |
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"I dont allow Nette any friends at all, not that i dont trust her 100% its just that im a utter utter Bastard
Gimp
You might not allow it Mr Gimpus Bastardii but she has them anyway, they're all down in the cellar
Ooo thanks for the heads up
The Cheque is in the post
Brb off to nail up the Cellar Door and find my Flogger
Bastardii Gimpus"
I didn't say they were in your cellar......... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont allow Nette any friends at all, not that i dont trust her 100% its just that im a utter utter Bastard
Gimp
You might not allow it Mr Gimpus Bastardii but she has them anyway, they're all down in the cellar
Ooo thanks for the heads up
The Cheque is in the post
Brb off to nail up the Cellar Door and find my Flogger
Bastardii Gimpus
I didn't say they were in your cellar........."
 . Luckily its a post dated Cheque.. But you do owe me the cost of a third class stamp
Tite Gimp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Alarm bells ringing loudly tell her to dump the muppet!! Control freak alert!! He will be racked with guilt and paranoid she will do it to him. Not a healthy relationship she should dump him next he will be goin through her phone when she is asleep and stopping her wearing what she wants even goin out! If she wont leave him or dump him she HAS to tell him she will do as she pleases! Bad vibes ive seen it in its very worst form its soooo wrong!!" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wasn't allowed female friends,he didn't even like me talking about male work colleagues. Some people are very insecure and say it's because their partner can't be trusted. Incidentally,he cheated on me,had a full blown affair throughout our relationship.
The irony is usually that they're the ones who can't be trusted."
Transference of guilt I think it's called. I wouldn't feel threatened by a partner having opposite sex friends,I'm very trusting,maybe too much. |
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"I wasn't allowed female friends,he didn't even like me talking about male work colleagues. Some people are very insecure and say it's because their partner can't be trusted. Incidentally,he cheated on me,had a full blown affair throughout our relationship. "
The classic Transference of Guilt scenario |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so a very close girl mate of mine has recently texted me and said her fiance is not wanting her to have any male friends"
Text her back and tell her he is a fucking idiot. |
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"I wasn't allowed female friends,he didn't even like me talking about male work colleagues. Some people are very insecure and say it's because their partner can't be trusted. Incidentally,he cheated on me,had a full blown affair throughout our relationship.
The irony is usually that they're the ones who can't be trusted.
Transference of guilt I think it's called. I wouldn't feel threatened by a partner having opposite sex friends,I'm very trusting,maybe too much."
oops u bet me to it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wasn't allowed female friends,he didn't even like me talking about male work colleagues. Some people are very insecure and say it's because their partner can't be trusted. Incidentally,he cheated on me,had a full blown affair throughout our relationship.
The irony is usually that they're the ones who can't be trusted."
Yep was just about to say this! usually (not always) the controlling person is the one cheating  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wasn't allowed female friends,he didn't even like me talking about male work colleagues. Some people are very insecure and say it's because their partner can't be trusted. Incidentally,he cheated on me,had a full blown affair throughout our relationship.
The classic Transference of Guilt scenario"
And his reason for cheating on me was revenge,because he said I was cheating on him,even though he never had any evidence apart from the things he made up in his mind. People like him don't get better,they just find new excuses and become more controlling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends what you mean by friends
I doubt many people would be fine with their partner going out clubbing with someone of the opposit sex
Though to be honest I doubt anyone will come on here on a couples profile and openly admit their partner chooses who they can be friends with, most will say its fine even if it's not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends what you mean by friends
I doubt many people would be fine with their partner going out clubbing with someone of the opposit sex
"
That never used to bother me though.
My ex was an outrageous flirt.
My mates used to say "doesn't that bother you?"
I was like nope.
She was just a massive flirt.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends what you mean by friends
I doubt many people would be fine with their partner going out clubbing with someone of the opposit sex
Though to be honest I doubt anyone will come on here on a couples profile and openly admit their partner chooses who they can be friends with, most will say its fine even if it's not "
I am. My husband has been on holiday with female friends before, I know there is nothing sexual there. To be honest I'd rather he was out clubbing or drinking with a woman than with a big group of laddie blokes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I doubt many people would be fine with their partner going out clubbing with someone of the opposit sex
"
I can't think of anyone in my social circle that would have a problem with that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so a very close girl mate of mine has recently texted me and said her fiance is not wanting her to have any male friends, i think this is the first signs of controlling, any men/women been in this situation?
ironically he cheated on her months back and i told her to give him another chance haha
I wouldn't be in a relationship/friendship with someone who felt like they had the right to control who I enjoyed spending time with."
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends what you mean by friends
I doubt many people would be fine with their partner going out clubbing with someone of the opposit sex
Though to be honest I doubt anyone will come on here on a couples profile and openly admit their partner chooses who they can be friends with, most will say its fine even if it's not "
you trust your partner no matter what if they cheat thats a diff matter but you got to trust em. Ive had loads cheat on me but thats the end of me caring for em and id never have one of em back (3 actually but sounds a lot! ) if there gonna cheat there gonna cheat and honesty between each other has got to be top of list surely? Controlling a partner isnt trust its possesion! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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(third time lucky trying to post this!)
My wife isn't a girlie lady who likes soaps, the bitchie chat and office gossip which some ladies that she works with do.
All her friends in and out of work, give or take, are men.
No problem. |
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"
I doubt many people would be fine with their partner going out clubbing with someone of the opposit sex
I can't think of anyone in my social circle that would have a problem with that."
this lady speaks sense. |
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He is very insecure not letting you have male friend,s what i have found out in life with those sort 9 out 10 are groper,s
They want a kiss at Christmas but not ok for her to kiss always feely touchy and keep there hand on you longer than just a touch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I doubt many people would be fine with their partner going out clubbing with someone of the opposit sex
t."
Mrs P can go seal hunting with whom ever she pleases. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Surely a friends a friend no matter if male or female.. New bfs/gfs. Should know the person wants to be with them and inbrace their friends no matter the sex of then |
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"I wasn't allowed female friends,he didn't even like me talking about male work colleagues. Some people are very insecure and say it's because their partner can't be trusted. Incidentally,he cheated on me,had a full blown affair throughout our relationship.
The classic Transference of Guilt scenario
And his reason for cheating on me was revenge,because he said I was cheating on him,even though he never had any evidence apart from the things he made up in his mind. People like him don't get better,they just find new excuses and become more controlling. "
Been there got the t-shirt so completely agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This will only get worse. He clearly has trust issues. Probably underlying from the fact he cheated and is scared now she'd do the same.
She needs to nip it in the bud right away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I actually hold my friends very dearly and if I met a guy who told me I couldn't see my friends he would be gone, simple as, any man who wants me accepts me as I am, and I come with kids, family and friends and I wouldn't turn my back on any of them
But I am quite a hard faced strong minded person it may answer for why I've been single most of my life  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I actually hold my friends very dearly and if I met a guy who told me I couldn't see my friends he would be gone, simple as, any man who wants me accepts me as I am, and I come with kids, family and friends and I wouldn't turn my back on any of them
But I am quite a hard faced strong minded person it may answer for why I've been single most of my life "
aww id offer you a hug but id only whisper things in your ear |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bless the hubby wouldn't have any friends if I banned female ones lol.
If I can trust him enough to swing with I can certainly trust him enough to have friends of the opposite sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wasn't allowed female friends,he didn't even like me talking about male work colleagues. Some people are very insecure and say it's because their partner can't be trusted. Incidentally,he cheated on me,had a full blown affair throughout our relationship.
The irony is usually that they're the ones who can't be trusted."
Agreed! Anyone who told me who I could/couldn't be friends with would be shown the door instantly!! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Controlling, insecure alarm bells ringing loud and clear, tell your friend to run!
No adult should ever be told who they can and cannot be friends with, it's a simple as that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"(third time lucky trying to post this!)
My wife isn't a girlie lady who likes soaps, the bitchie chat and office gossip which some ladies that she works with do.
All her friends in and out of work, give or take, are men.
No problem."
Same here
S x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"so a very close girl mate of mine has recently texted me and said her fiance is not wanting her to have any male friends
Text her back and tell her he is a fucking idiot. "
not worth the hassle pal! shame, shes a gorgeous girl, would probably experiment on here if he was not OTT! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Controlling, insecure alarm bells ringing loud and clear, tell your friend to run!
No adult should ever be told who they can and cannot be friends with, it's a simple as that."
im taking a step back now! i will be there for her when he gets caught again! |
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I regularly go out for a meal with a group of women(friends) from work. I wouldn't have any issue with Anita going out with any of her male friends too.
Friends are friends and friendship requires no permission from anyone. If you trust your partner then why would it be a problem?
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Controlling, insecure alarm bells ringing loud and clear, tell your friend to run!
No adult should ever be told who they can and cannot be friends with, it's a simple as that.
im taking a step back now! i will be there for her when he gets caught again!"
not sure whether to say this, but don't step back because i think this is exactly what he wants.
control freaks often try to dissociate their partner from everyone who loves them so that they can mess with their head more and nobody will know.
worst thing you can do is let someone mentally ill control you, hope she gets rid. |
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