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How do you give your dog or your cat a pill?
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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago
Notting |
How To Pill a Cat
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on each side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat gently in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, pick up and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into cat's mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill out of foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep up shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set on one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with a pencil and blow into drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door just enough so that head is showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with plastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by a large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearms and removes pill from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home and order new dining table.
15. Arrange for ASPCA to collect cat and contact local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How To Pill a Dog
1. Wrap it in bacon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For the dog, easy, just wrap it around a piece of chicken and he will gobble it up in no time.
For the cat, I have been shown how to tilt her head until her nose points into the air by the vet. That's when she has very little resistance in her jaw so I can open it, and pop the tablet as far back into her throat as possible, before holding her jaw closed until she swallows it.
I practiced using Go Cat until I have perfected the technique! Bad mummy!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find placing the said pill in a lump of chum then balancing it on the end of me old chap seems to work a treat...For the moggy put on an old type of diving suit with the big helmet on...Then corner the little bleeder and stuff the pill into its gob... |
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By *ig bad OP Man
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"Mi cat is canny and i thought i might have had to pop it in its back door 
no comment? now I know why it needs to go on the pill "
Its a bit pissed of cos it was a pill or risk the force 9 gail outside! 
I didn't resort to suppository action and wont need to thanks to the advice above.......... i hope |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mi cat is canny and i thought i might have had to pop it in its back door
no comment? now I know why it needs to go on the pill
Its a bit pissed of cos it was a pill or risk the force 9 gail outside!
I didn't resort to suppository action and wont need to thanks to the advice above.......... i hope "
Diving suit it is then...I will bring it around... |
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By *ig bad OP Man
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"Mi cat is canny and i thought i might have had to pop it in its back door
no comment? now I know why it needs to go on the pill
Its a bit pissed of cos it was a pill or risk the force 9 gail outside!
I didn't resort to suppository action and wont need to thanks to the advice above.......... i hope
Diving suit it is then...I will bring it around... "
I donno if it would fit T cat! Granted its on a diet after 4 months of demand feeding but it isn't that big yet |
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My lil doggy has passed away but I always used to give her pills by putting them in the centre of a lump of paté. The smell and flavour are so strong they don't care what's in it.
This technique didn't kill her by the way. |
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