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Sperm donations
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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While we're on the subject of donations, and lots of you guys are very experienced at producing donations on a regular basis, please guys consider sperm donation.
There is a massive shortage of donor sperm in the UK, it's shockingly low.
To donate it does require a commitment to regularly donate within a specific time frame.
But to give the gift of a child to a couple who otherwise couldn't conceive is pretty cool.
Plus you get to pass on your genes without any of the sleepless nights or expense.
There has been a change in the law recently so any offspring could apply to find out your details but only when they turn 18.
The general consensus is though that it's not your child, they are the child of their mum and dad. If they do want to find you, it's usually to discuss stuff like if you have the same shoe size, or did they get their blue eyes or love of music from you.
Having been through the pain of infertility ourselves, I thought it's something I should increase awareness of. |
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"While we're on the subject of donations, and lots of you guys are very experienced at producing donations on a regular basis, please guys consider sperm donation.
There is a massive shortage of donor sperm in the UK, it's shockingly low.
To donate it does require a commitment to regularly donate within a specific time frame.
But to give the gift of a child to a couple who otherwise couldn't conceive is pretty cool.
Plus you get to pass on your genes without any of the sleepless nights or expense.
There has been a change in the law recently so any offspring could apply to find out your details but only when they turn 18.
The general consensus is though that it's not your child, they are the child of their mum and dad. If they do want to find you, it's usually to discuss stuff like if you have the same shoe size, or did they get their blue eyes or love of music from you.
Having been through the pain of infertility ourselves, I thought it's something I should increase awareness of."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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good for you! its is often seen as some sort of joke for some reason, but as with the OP, ive had fertility treatment and it is something you become more aware about |
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I've looked into using sperm donation to have a kid...I'm not getting any younger and I'd love a child and have the means to bring one up on my own. However if I went down this avenue I shall be going to Denmark to obtain the donation.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes why not. I am single and happy and never want any kids as I am to busy with my bodybuilding, so would be happy to and donate some, as they say, share the goodness around. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thought of someone turning up 18 from now would give me serious doubts about doing this.
I would have no problem with total anominity though. "
same here I have 4 kids and would donate, but the fact you can be traced, it's a no from me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thought of someone turning up 18 from now would give me serious doubts about doing this.
I would have no problem with total anominity though. "
wouldn't bother me, I'd be happy for them to contact me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can you not opt out of leaving your details? Some men may not want finding 18+ years down the line, they may feel it could cause problems for future relations and it could put them off donating |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you not opt out of leaving your details? Some men may not want finding 18+ years down the line, they may feel it could cause problems for future relations and it could put them off donating "
no you can't opt out
the ones who opted out years ago have been automatically opted in so they can be found (i think) or they're still opted out.
I need to go check now . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've looked into using sperm donation to have a kid...I'm not getting any younger and I'd love a child and have the means to bring one up on my own. However if I went down this avenue I shall be going to Denmark to obtain the donation. "
chicken!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thought of someone turning up 18 from now would give me serious doubts about doing this.
I would have no problem with total anominity though.
wouldn't bother me, I'd be happy for them to contact me"
It wouldn't sit well with me at all. Who knows what sort of contact or relationship they would want with you. They may blame you for all their ills. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm currently waiting on a suitable couple I can donate my eggs to "
A woman I work with has just gone through egg donation, seeing what she went through I wouldnt do it, the needle she put in her stomach was enough to put me off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thought of someone turning up 18 from now would give me serious doubts about doing this.
I would have no problem with total anominity though.
wouldn't bother me, I'd be happy for them to contact me
It wouldn't sit well with me at all. Who knows what sort of contact or relationship they would want with you. They may blame you for all their ills. "
ills? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm currently waiting on a suitable couple I can donate my eggs to
A woman I work with has just gone through egg donation, seeing what she went through I wouldnt do it, the needle she put in her stomach was enough to put me off "
That's the next stage for me, I am a little nervous, I'm ok with needles but I am a little nervous to start with but I'll get used to it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thought of someone turning up 18 from now would give me serious doubts about doing this.
I would have no problem with total anominity though.
wouldn't bother me, I'd be happy for them to contact me
It wouldn't sit well with me at all. Who knows what sort of contact or relationship they would want with you. They may blame you for all their ills.
ills?"
Everything that had gone wrong in their life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thought of someone turning up 18 from now would give me serious doubts about doing this.
I would have no problem with total anominity though.
wouldn't bother me, I'd be happy for them to contact me
It wouldn't sit well with me at all. Who knows what sort of contact or relationship they would want with you. They may blame you for all their ills.
ills?
Everything that had gone wrong in their life. "
If you mean health wise, they will not accept donors who have any conditions, disabilities etc that can be passed on to the babies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thought of someone turning up 18 from now would give me serious doubts about doing this.
I would have no problem with total anominity though.
wouldn't bother me, I'd be happy for them to contact me
It wouldn't sit well with me at all. Who knows what sort of contact or relationship they would want with you. They may blame you for all their ills.
ills?
Everything that had gone wrong in their life.
If you mean health wise, they will not accept donors who have any conditions, disabilities etc that can be passed on to the babies"
I do not mean health wise.
What I mean is I don't want an angst ridden 18 year old who is struggling with their identity to turn up and start calling me daddy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thought of someone turning up 18 from now would give me serious doubts about doing this.
I would have no problem with total anominity though.
wouldn't bother me, I'd be happy for them to contact me
It wouldn't sit well with me at all. Who knows what sort of contact or relationship they would want with you. They may blame you for all their ills.
ills?
Everything that had gone wrong in their life.
If you mean health wise, they will not accept donors who have any conditions, disabilities etc that can be passed on to the babies"
I think they mean in general, like not having a good childhood, upbringing they may blame you for giving them to a family they wasn't happy with
Could be wrong though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thought of someone turning up 18 from now would give me serious doubts about doing this.
I would have no problem with total anominity though.
wouldn't bother me, I'd be happy for them to contact me
It wouldn't sit well with me at all. Who knows what sort of contact or relationship they would want with you. They may blame you for all their ills.
ills?
Everything that had gone wrong in their life.
If you mean health wise, they will not accept donors who have any conditions, disabilities etc that can be passed on to the babies
I think they mean in general, like not having a good childhood, upbringing they may blame you for giving them to a family they wasn't happy with
Could be wrong though "
You are correct. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thought of someone turning up 18 from now would give me serious doubts about doing this.
I would have no problem with total anominity though.
wouldn't bother me, I'd be happy for them to contact me
It wouldn't sit well with me at all. Who knows what sort of contact or relationship they would want with you. They may blame you for all their ills.
ills?
Everything that had gone wrong in their life.
If you mean health wise, they will not accept donors who have any conditions, disabilities etc that can be passed on to the babies
I do not mean health wise.
What I mean is I don't want an angst ridden 18 year old who is struggling with their identity to turn up and start calling me daddy. "
Would you not want a relationship with your children? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thought of someone turning up 18 from now would give me serious doubts about doing this.
I would have no problem with total anominity though.
wouldn't bother me, I'd be happy for them to contact me
It wouldn't sit well with me at all. Who knows what sort of contact or relationship they would want with you. They may blame you for all their ills.
ills?
Everything that had gone wrong in their life.
If you mean health wise, they will not accept donors who have any conditions, disabilities etc that can be passed on to the babies
I do not mean health wise.
What I mean is I don't want an angst ridden 18 year old who is struggling with their identity to turn up and start calling me daddy.
Would you not want a relationship with your children?"
Yes , I have two children who I have a wonderful relationship with. I don't want anymore. If my sperm could help a childless couple to have children I would willingly donate regularly. But I wouldn't want the repercussions of someone turning up 18 years later so I won't be donating. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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For everyone who is concerned about the child coming to find you at age 18, have a read of the Donor Conception Network website.
And no one would be calling you daddy. You are not their dad.
For what it's worth, I donated eggs and a child was born from one of my eggs.
It feels like that child is a distant cousin somehow. Genetically linked to me but I am in no way responsible for them.
If they turn up I'm happy to chat and give info. But they are not my family. They have their own family. They have their own parents, grandparents and possibly siblings.
The donor conception network is an organisation put in place to help families wth donor conceived kids handle the issue in the right way.
From what I've read, most kids aren't interested in coming to find you anyway. You are allowed when you donate to write a message to both the parents and any child that is conceived.
And failing that, there's always a restraining order.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thought of someone turning up 18 from now would give me serious doubts about doing this.
I would have no problem with total anominity though. "
think the fact that they can trace back now will put some off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For everyone who is concerned about the child coming to find you at age 18, have a read of the Donor Conception Network website.
And no one would be calling you daddy. You are not their dad.
For what it's worth, I donated eggs and a child was born from one of my eggs.
It feels like that child is a distant cousin somehow. Genetically linked to me but I am in no way responsible for them.
If they turn up I'm happy to chat and give info. But they are not my family. They have their own family. They have their own parents, grandparents and possibly siblings.
The donor conception network is an organisation put in place to help families wth donor conceived kids handle the issue in the right way.
From what I've read, most kids aren't interested in coming to find you anyway. You are allowed when you donate to write a message to both the parents and any child that is conceived.
And failing that, there's always a restraining order.
"
All very true, but I wonder if many potential donors have been put off simply by the fact that their identity will not be kept confidential from any child that may result from the use of their sperm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm currently waiting on a suitable couple I can donate my eggs to
A woman I work with has just gone through egg donation, seeing what she went through I wouldnt do it, the needle she put in her stomach was enough to put me off "
I'm considering doing it next year in the States - the money you get would be enough to pay for my Masters degree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No I wouldn't.
I want to know who my kids are and Sperm donations doesn't really allow for that.
I want my sperm to be used for MY kids and only for MY kids and whoever is unfortunate enough to think me a good person to have my kids.
Seriously, that is one thing I'm staunchly against. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm currently waiting on a suitable couple I can donate my eggs to
A woman I work with has just gone through egg donation, seeing what she went through I wouldnt do it, the needle she put in her stomach was enough to put me off
I'm considering doing it next year in the States - the money you get would be enough to pay for my Masters degree."
Egg donation is tough on your system. My mood plummeted after the donation for a couple of weeks - I thought I was losing my mind!
But more importantly, please read the risks of OHSS. Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. I didn't get OHSS when I donated eggs. But I got it when I did IVF and it hurt like anything, I was in a lot of pain, my stomach was massively bloated and it was scary. Apparently mine was a very mild case and I didn't need to be hospitalised. OHSS can be fatal. Please, please read up on the risks so that you are aware. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No I wouldn't.
I want to know who my kids are and Sperm donations doesn't really allow for that.
I want my sperm to be used for MY kids and only for MY kids and whoever is unfortunate enough to think me a good person to have my kids.
Seriously, that is one thing I'm staunchly against."
It's a nice philosophy until you are faced with infertility yourself. Then your plans kinda go out the window. We were told we'd need to use donor sperm. Luckily we didn't need to. But one of the reasons I donated was to get my head around the idea of having donor conceived kids ourselves.
You start to realise parenting isn't really about genetics at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm currently waiting on a suitable couple I can donate my eggs to
A woman I work with has just gone through egg donation, seeing what she went through I wouldnt do it, the needle she put in her stomach was enough to put me off
That's the next stage for me, I am a little nervous, I'm ok with needles but I am a little nervous to start with but I'll get used to it"
You'll be fine, they will talk you through it all. It's honestly not that painful.
I've had 3 fresh and 3 frozen cycles of IVF and ICSI. Eventually it worked. Luckily we didn't need donor eggs or sperm, but I knew couples that did. Egg donation is a real gift that will be very much appreciated by the recipients.
I also understand why sperm donors aren't anonymous. It's getting your head round that as a child of a donor. I wonder what percentage actually make contact, but I guess it's about being open. Be hard if you never knew you were from donor sperm and found out accidentally. Perhaps these rules help prevent that possibility. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would be happy to donate by the bucket load if anonymous. Not sure how I would feel 18 years down the line if I ever get contacted over it. Would rather be happy I've helped someone out without knowing who. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I donated sperm for a friend who underwent IVF! Now she has a beautiful baby boy!
A before you ask, no I don't feel strange or anything about the circumstance, I was happy I could help and make her dreams come true! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The process is very good to donate, however to be successful donor you have to go through a few tests, health screening and obviously you can be traced 18 years ahead, once donated you are asked to leave a short bio of yourself so the perspective parents know more about you.
So even if you wish to be a donor the chances of getting through the screening processes are slim, that's one of the reasons that their is a scarcity in the uk.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I became a sperm donor 5 years ago. I'm very happy at the thought of helping those in need to have children.
When I was at the clinic one day one of the doctors told me that a recent report stated there were only 30 active donors at that particular time throughout the UK! There's certainly a great shortage since the law change regarding anonymity. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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All the clinic do is give out your name and the last known contact details. That's what I was told.
If you move a fair bit you'd probably be impossible to find without professional help.
I'm not surprised there's so few donors in the UK.  |
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(Mr here) - want to donate, no problem with the anonymity issue (if they want to contact in 18 years, fine!), not bothered about the money aspect... the problem has always been that it's a faff - closest place to me is a couple of hours travel away, and you have to commit to a number of sessions and tests, and each time would pretty much mean a day off work.
Realise that sounds pretty damned selfish now, considering what women have to go through to donate... going to step up and see if it's still possible (is there still an age limit?) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would be happy to donate by the bucket load if anonymous. Not sure how I would feel 18 years down the line if I ever get contacted over it. Would rather be happy I've helped someone out without knowing who. "
You can,t just have Your cake and eat it.. unless its a jam sponge. |
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