FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Shit the fucking bed
Shit the fucking bed
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I go for a wee wee to find my son has actually put the toilet roll on the toilet roll holder!!!!
He has never done that! I'm actually gobsmacked   "
Definitely done something.......expect a confession soon! Ha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We solved the issue by having one that sticks up from the floor, spins round the way not down.
Actually think it's a kitchen roll holder but does the job!
Congrats on getting someone else to remember to replace toilet roll, we have the toilet roll fairy in this house.
Dx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm a folder too, not a scruncher 
Don't start that one again. You'll have the forum totally divided.
"
There's nowt worse than when the paper divides.
Apparently.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Erm, isn't the toilet roll meant to be under the dress of that little red doll? I forgot where i saw that.
We had one of those for the spare. She wore a crocheted white dress.
"
My mother used to have a blue one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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actually my fella is an under and I`m an over - it's a constant battle of the toilet roll - sends him bonkers when I change it around - which, of course, I do at every available opportunity  |
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My son won't even go and get one if it runs out. He just doesn't wipe and then, predictably, one of the female members of the household gets marooned without any paper! I wouldn't mind, but we have a six roll stacker too. He uses more than a roll a day and blocks the toilet all the time but never, ever fills it up again.
Grrrrrrr
He's 14 and autistic.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm a folder too, not a scruncher
Don't start that one again. You'll have the forum totally divided.
There's nowt worse than when the paper divides.
Apparently. "
Not if you have decent toilet roll. And not just 1 sheet!
I have at least 3 for a wee and ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Those dolls can fuck off. Weird looking things
Ha!
What about Hoover doll covers! "
What is that? Sounds like some next level scary shit. Don't scare me. I just confessed to you I can't even watch horrors  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"actually my fella is an under and I`m an over - it's a constant battle of the toilet roll - sends him bonkers when I change it around - which, of course, I do at every available opportunity "
If I'm visiting a friend and notice its an under, I change it to over.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Those dolls can fuck off. Weird looking things
Ha!
What about Hoover doll covers!
What is that? Sounds like some next level scary shit. Don't scare me. I just confessed to you I can't even watch horrors "
It's fabric that looks like a lady and goes over the Hoover to make it look pretty.. Too scary for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Who cares if he put it over or under he put it on, that's all that matters!!
If you tell me your son leaves the bathroom exactly as he found it I'll hate you forever... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Those dolls can fuck off. Weird looking things
Ha!
What about Hoover doll covers!
What is that? Sounds like some next level scary shit. Don't scare me. I just confessed to you I can't even watch horrors
It's fabric that looks like a lady and goes over the Hoover to make it look pretty.. Too scary for you "
I don't believe there is such a thing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Those dolls can fuck off. Weird looking things
Ha!
What about Hoover doll covers!
What is that? Sounds like some next level scary shit. Don't scare me. I just confessed to you I can't even watch horrors
It's fabric that looks like a lady and goes over the Hoover to make it look pretty.. Too scary for you
I don't believe there is such a thing. "
There is!!! Iv seen 2! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Those dolls can fuck off. Weird looking things
Ha!
What about Hoover doll covers!
What is that? Sounds like some next level scary shit. Don't scare me. I just confessed to you I can't even watch horrors
It's fabric that looks like a lady and goes over the Hoover to make it look pretty.. Too scary for you "
Nopety Nope nope can't deal with that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Who cares if he put it over or under he put it on, that's all that matters!!
If you tell me your son leaves the bathroom exactly as he found it I'll hate you forever... "
Not quite |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Those dolls can fuck off. Weird looking things
Ha!
What about Hoover doll covers!
What is that? Sounds like some next level scary shit. Don't scare me. I just confessed to you I can't even watch horrors
It's fabric that looks like a lady and goes over the Hoover to make it look pretty.. Too scary for you
I don't believe there is such a thing. "
Just Google vacuum cleaner doll covers for the most horrific things ever.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Those dolls can fuck off. Weird looking things
Ha!
What about Hoover doll covers!
What is that? Sounds like some next level scary shit. Don't scare me. I just confessed to you I can't even watch horrors
It's fabric that looks like a lady and goes over the Hoover to make it look pretty.. Too scary for you
I don't believe there is such a thing.
Just Google vacuum cleaner doll covers for the most horrific things ever.
"
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Phew! There's no actual shit in the bed though... is there?
this was my thought
Lol I probably shouldn't say this but I have after a night out ha "
Noooooooo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Those dolls can fuck off. Weird looking things
Ha!
What about Hoover doll covers!
What is that? Sounds like some next level scary shit. Don't scare me. I just confessed to you I can't even watch horrors
It's fabric that looks like a lady and goes over the Hoover to make it look pretty.. Too scary for you
I don't believe there is such a thing.
Just Google vacuum cleaner doll covers for the most horrific things ever.
"
Jaysus , what the dickens is going on there. Some are a little bit woo woo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Phew! There's no actual shit in the bed though... is there?
this was my thought
Lol I probably shouldn't say this but I have after a night out ha
Noooooooo "
Haha! Ar ye was absolutely hammered and woke up in morning and... we'll put it this way I get piss taken out of me a bit ha! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Phew! There's no actual shit in the bed though... is there?
this was my thought
Lol I probably shouldn't say this but I have after a night out ha "
noooo some things we dont need to know |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Those dolls can fuck off. Weird looking things
Ha!
What about Hoover doll covers!
What is that? Sounds like some next level scary shit. Don't scare me. I just confessed to you I can't even watch horrors
It's fabric that looks like a lady and goes over the Hoover to make it look pretty.. Too scary for you
I don't believe there is such a thing.
Just Google vacuum cleaner doll covers for the most horrific things ever.
Jaysus , what the dickens is going on there. Some are a little bit woo woo. "
Dogs, cats, rabbits and other things dressed like extras from Little House on the Prairie... it makes you wonder about the mind that could think up such things.
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Phew! There's no actual shit in the bed though... is there?
this was my thought
Lol I probably shouldn't say this but I have after a night out ha
Noooooooo
Haha! Ar ye was absolutely hammered and woke up in morning and... we'll put it this way I get piss taken out of me a bit ha!"
Having the piss taken out of you is not the same as the shit falling out of you.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Phew! There's no actual shit in the bed though... is there?
this was my thought
Lol I probably shouldn't say this but I have after a night out ha
Noooooooo
Haha! Ar ye was absolutely hammered and woke up in morning and... we'll put it this way I get piss taken out of me a bit ha!
Having the piss taken out of you is not the same as the shit falling out of you.
"
Ha I don't give a 'shit'! And I can assure u it didn't.... I'll say no more! |
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"actually my fella is an under and I`m an over - it's a constant battle of the toilet roll - sends him bonkers when I change it around - which, of course, I do at every available opportunity
If I'm visiting a friend and notice its an under, I change it to over. "
I thought I was the only person who did that in other peoples houses |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"actually my fella is an under and I`m an over - it's a constant battle of the toilet roll - sends him bonkers when I change it around - which, of course, I do at every available opportunity
If I'm visiting a friend and notice its an under, I change it to over.
I thought I was the only person who did that in other peoples houses "
I can believe that too |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"actually my fella is an under and I`m an over - it's a constant battle of the toilet roll - sends him bonkers when I change it around - which, of course, I do at every available opportunity
If I'm visiting a friend and notice its an under, I change it to over.
I thought I was the only person who did that in other peoples houses "
My aunt used to change the cutlery drawer if it wasn't laid out the way she thought it should be. She'd move things around a bathroom without even thinking about it. She would change the toilet roll to her way too. Thankfully, she's dead now.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"actually my fella is an under and I`m an over - it's a constant battle of the toilet roll - sends him bonkers when I change it around - which, of course, I do at every available opportunity
If I'm visiting a friend and notice its an under, I change it to over.
I thought I was the only person who did that in other peoples houses
My aunt used to change the cutlery drawer if it wasn't laid out the way she thought it should be. She'd move things around a bathroom without even thinking about it. She would change the toilet roll to her way too. Thankfully, she's dead now.
"
My mother in law does this. She's even changed the sofas around. Her argument is that it works better her way. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"actually my fella is an under and I`m an over - it's a constant battle of the toilet roll - sends him bonkers when I change it around - which, of course, I do at every available opportunity
If I'm visiting a friend and notice its an under, I change it to over.
I thought I was the only person who did that in other peoples houses
My aunt used to change the cutlery drawer if it wasn't laid out the way she thought it should be. She'd move things around a bathroom without even thinking about it. She would change the toilet roll to her way too. Thankfully, she's dead now.
My mother in law does this. She's even changed the sofas around. Her argument is that it works better her way. "
My aunt incensed one of my cousins when she stayed with them as she threw away his favourite mug because she thought it was ugly.
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
If you have the toilet roll in the "over" position, you only see the outside of the roll. If you have it in the "under" position, you see what is effectively the inside of the roll. Same as if you hang curtains, you hang them to face inwards for your benefit.
So, how does your curtain hanging equate to your toilet roll position?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's under!
That way when you FOLD it the nice quilted outside is the bit your arse gets to touch.
There is NEVER any reason to scrunch Ladies - 17 sheets screwed up into a ball is not acceptable.
Don't then moan when there's none left because there was only 1.8 sheets left on the roll when we sat down....
Put the seat back up when you've finished - we don't want to touch it either
Honestly - it's like herding cats sometimes.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We solved the issue by having one that sticks up from the floor, spins round the way not down.
"
++++++++++++++++++++
ahh but does it spin clockwise or anticlockwise when you pull?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We solved the issue by having one that sticks up from the floor, spins round the way not down.
++++++++++++++++++++
ahh but does it spin clockwise or anticlockwise when you pull?
"
we have a loo roll pole - im right handed and daughter left handed - it shifts around something chronic - great when she heads back to uni |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's under!
That way when you FOLD it the nice quilted outside is the bit your arse gets to touch.
There is NEVER any reason to scrunch Ladies - 17 sheets screwed up into a ball is not acceptable.
Don't then moan when there's none left because there was only 1.8 sheets left on the roll when we sat down....
Put the seat back up when you've finished - we don't want to touch it either
Honestly - it's like herding cats sometimes...."
 |
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