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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
A long separated ex wife of a current playmate is making threats to me and my children via him by text. Neither of them are on here.
Nothing has been done dishonestly or behind anyone's back.
She has no realistic way or means of finding me but is behaving in a very aggressive manner.
She currently doesn't know if I'm aware or not of her threats.
I'm not sure if I need to do anything. I don't wish to further inflame the situation.
I'm noting the dates and saving the texts should I need them as he feels its fair for me to be aware of her verbal threats and so is forwarding them.
Has anyone had a similar situation or can advise me please? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like you need to at the very least, speak to the police. Get them to log it even if you don't want them to do anything. This way if it does escalate, they will already know about it and will respond quicker. |
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In my vast experience of current and ex partners actually sending nasty tests is this
99% of the time they do absolutely nothing to back it up
So if she's no idea where you live and you feel safe, just don't delete them
I'd inform the police only if the threat is of physical harm
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"pm sent
Sounds ominous; can you make people 'disappear'?  "
ooooooh I so wish I could. Nigel Farage would be instantly zapped just for breathing, then I'd start getting creative |
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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
She knows as he told her he has got a playmate, she was friendly and took an interest..then suddenly her attitude changed.
I think it is worth the drama but I may feel different if it continues like this. |
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"She knows as he told her he has got a playmate, she was friendly and took an interest..then suddenly her attitude changed.
I think it is worth the drama but I may feel different if it continues like this. "
ex partners often get shitty when the ex talks of others... Till they themself have another too.
Fingers crossed he hasn't disclosed more info than you know about ... Hope all goes ok for you ... Wouldn't blame you for having second thoughts... All this spose to be fun not an add on to lifes dramas n stresses... Good luck with all x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A long separated ex wife of a current playmate is making threats to me and my children via him by text. Neither of them are on here.
Nothing has been done dishonestly or behind anyone's back.
She has no realistic way or means of finding me but is behaving in a very aggressive manner.
She currently doesn't know if I'm aware or not of her threats.
I'm not sure if I need to do anything. I don't wish to further inflame the situation.
I'm noting the dates and saving the texts should I need them as he feels its fair for me to be aware of her verbal threats and so is forwarding them.
Has anyone had a similar situation or can advise me please? "
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I know you're never dishonest and there is nothing wrong in how you conduct yourself.
As she is threatening your children, I would go straight to the police. You've done the right thing to take note of each threat and I'm sure that would enable the police to take further action.
Maybe she does need to be made aware that you're aware? She may well be directing these threats at your playmate in the hope he backs away from you.
crystal x |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Maybe he was trying to make her jealous as what in gods name made him discuss you and your children.
But as she now knows a lot about you, I would be concerned he may give your address away now too.
Is it really worth the hassle? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She knows as he told her he has got a playmate, she was friendly and took an interest..then suddenly her attitude changed.
I think it is worth the drama but I may feel different if it continues like this. "
What's he said about it all?
Hope you get it sorted. x |
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"Maybe he was trying to make her jealous as what in gods name made him discuss you and your children.
But as she now knows a lot about you, I would be concerned he may give your address away now too.
Is it really worth the hassle?"
 this!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you have the texts report it to the police. She could be cautioned or even prosecuted under the malicious communications act. I had something similar a few years ago (via letters though as they thought they were anonymous) and the police take it very seriously. |
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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"A long separated ex wife of a current playmate is making threats to me and my children via him by text. Neither of them are on here.
Nothing has been done dishonestly or behind anyone's back.
She has no realistic way or means of finding me but is behaving in a very aggressive manner.
She currently doesn't know if I'm aware or not of her threats.
I'm not sure if I need to do anything. I don't wish to further inflame the situation.
I'm noting the dates and saving the texts should I need them as he feels its fair for me to be aware of her verbal threats and so is forwarding them.
Has anyone had a similar situation or can advise me please?
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I know you're never dishonest and there is nothing wrong in how you conduct yourself.
As she is threatening your children, I would go straight to the police. You've done the right thing to take note of each threat and I'm sure that would enable the police to take further action.
Maybe she does need to be made aware that you're aware? She may well be directing these threats at your playmate in the hope he backs away from you.
crystal x"
Thank you Hun. It will all be fine and yes maybe she's trying to scare him off. Good point xxx |
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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
If I report it to the police is it necessary to explain my lifestyle and therefore "out" myself? They maybe confused as to how a seemingly average suburban small town playground mum has a lover.
Also we have a local area policeman so he knows me, my family, my neighborhood and the people well... I know they are supposed to be discrete but its hard to really believe that... Police are human too... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Speak to police. They can have a discreet word and issue a non harassment order. In breach of this order either party can be arrested even if its via a third party unless both parties decide to withdraw the complaint.
I speak from work related experience in a previous life. |
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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"Why would anyone be shocked that a suburban housewife had a lover?
As you say those people are not on here, this site is irrelevant as to what you report to the police surely."
In addition to my live in life partner who the local police also know by name. I feel a little like I could become local gossip. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Why would anyone be shocked that a suburban housewife had a lover?
As you say those people are not on here, this site is irrelevant as to what you report to the police surely.
In addition to my live in life partner who the local police also know by name. I feel a little like I could become local gossip. "
If they are doing their job properly you wont be.
If they do discuss police business with others then you can go down the route of reporting him too.
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"Why would anyone be shocked that a suburban housewife had a lover?
As you say those people are not on here, this site is irrelevant as to what you report to the police surely.
In addition to my live in life partner who the local police also know by name. I feel a little like I could become local gossip. "
Does he know about all this? Fab and the situation I mean? I can understand you being very wary if not. X |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Have you thought this could all be made up? You are only getting his side. Is he trying to let you down gently and the next step will be " I think we should stop meeting as it is causing too much hassle for you" |
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Actually having thought for a bit if it were me I would ask for her number and ring her up (withholding yours) and ask her what the problem is??
She might well knock it off when you face her. Or tell you why she's being like that (i.e he's telling you one thing and her another etc) then you can tell her that if she continues you will go to the police, you've kept all the texts etc. |
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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
Yes he knows everything but chooses to be monogamous to me. He knows about my fb and his jealous ex.
He would support me going to the police if I needed to. Its just it being common local knowledge that is playing on my mind. Its a place where everyone knows everyone and we are all in the playground at 3 together.
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"Yes he knows everything but chooses to be monogamous to me. He knows about my fb and his jealous ex.
He would support me going to the police if I needed to. Its just it being common local knowledge that is playing on my mind. Its a place where everyone knows everyone and we are all in the playground at 3 together.
"
I would be in a similar situation here, tiny town, everyone knows everything. But if she doesn't actually know who you are then a phone call could be the way to go. And record it. |
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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
No I trust him, he has emailed the convo (both sides) for my records if I need to go the police and is happy to make a statement too.
He is worried that I will feel it's not worth the hassle of seeing him. (There is a chance of that as he knows).
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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"Yes he knows everything but chooses to be monogamous to me. He knows about my fb and his jealous ex.
He would support me going to the police if I needed to. Its just it being common local knowledge that is playing on my mind. Its a place where everyone knows everyone and we are all in the playground at 3 together.
I would be in a similar situation here, tiny town, everyone knows everything. But if she doesn't actually know who you are then a phone call could be the way to go. And record it. "
Thank you. I may do that. |
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OP. You and your children have and are being threatened. That is all that matters. Collect together all the evidence and take it to the police. Demand they enter it in the station diary in front of you and give you a crime number. That way if (and as others have said its a big if) anything does happen in the future there is a record of your reporting the threats to the police.
Then let the police deal with it. A police caution, even an unofficial verbal warning is generally enough to get even those with violent histories to go find somewhere else to vent their spleen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I found out my husband was on here meeting women while we were still together and the woman turned up on my doorstep. She threatened me and my disabled son to a point where I done the same as you and kept screenshots of everything. If it gets too bad, contact the police and they will make you monitor it and it is does not stop, they could call her into the station for a stern word. The woman involved in my case now has a caution on her record for 6 years |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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im confused....if the threats are on his phone then its his responsibilty to sort it out surely! i find it odd he would even tell you without trying to sort it out first...the police will deal with it,but its him who needs to go to them if the messages are on his phone...it does sound a bit odd.. |
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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"im confused....if the threats are on his phone then its his responsibilty to sort it out surely! i find it odd he would even tell you without trying to sort it out first...the police will deal with it,but its him who needs to go to them if the messages are on his phone...it does sound a bit odd.."
She has no way to contact me so is messaging him saying she will make it her business to find me and what she intends to do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
He is worried that I will feel it's not worth the hassle of seeing him. (There is a chance of that as he knows).
"
If he was THAT worried about THAT scenario he wouldn't have told you.
In fact, he didn't NEED to tell her full stop.
By your own admission in this thread, she doesn't know you, she doesn't know where you live and has ZERO means of contacting you, she wouldn't have known ANYTHING had he not told her.
He didn't NEED to tell her and you didn't need to know he told her.
He's told her of his own accord and told you of the threats (both of which he didn't NEED to do) he could of very easily, have kept the whole thing quiet and been happy as a pig in shit.
There is more at play here...
He's either trying to make his EX Jealous or Scare you off.
So far you only know what he's telling you...and he didn't NEED to tell her or you in the first place.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes he knows everything but chooses to be monogamous to me. He knows about my fb and his jealous ex.
He would support me going to the police if I needed to. Its just it being common local knowledge that is playing on my mind. Its a place where everyone knows everyone and we are all in the playground at 3 together.
I would be in a similar situation here, tiny town, everyone knows everything. But if she doesn't actually know who you are then a phone call could be the way to go. And record it. "
Isn't it illegal to record a phone call without permission? |
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"Yes he knows everything but chooses to be monogamous to me. He knows about my fb and his jealous ex.
He would support me going to the police if I needed to. Its just it being common local knowledge that is playing on my mind. Its a place where everyone knows everyone and we are all in the playground at 3 together.
I would be in a similar situation here, tiny town, everyone knows everything. But if she doesn't actually know who you are then a phone call could be the way to go. And record it.
Isn't it illegal to record a phone call without permission?"
Oh it might be. Then just tell her you are recording it so she can't use it to say you said things you didn't. I didn't think of that! Thanks jay x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you say he would support you going to the police...? still dont get it...why isn't he going himself,with you supporting him? makes no sense at all...he sounds like he's enjoying the drama to me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had the same and Im currently about to head to see the police regarding the matter  it's not a good situation as I see no need to interfere in anyone else's business. I'm not sure if it's about jealousy or that people can just be nasty! |
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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"I've had the same and Im currently about to head to see the police regarding the matter it's not a good situation as I see no need to interfere in anyone else's business. I'm not sure if it's about jealousy or that people can just be nasty! "
I hope it all goes smoothly. Its a bit stressful and not what do this for at all. |
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... Some thrive on it... He must of told her stuff for her to be so wound up? Eeeks! Have you seen these txt's ? 
But seriously, call 101 and then at least it's logged.