FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Getting fed up !
Getting fed up !
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I know I shouldn't still be on here as I've had a bf for 18 months (but enjoyed reading the forums) but for over a year now bf hasn't worked and has made little/no effort to find work.I work 50 hours a week to support us and it's hard going I really want to us to work out but this situation is getting to me any advice ? continue to encourage/support him or walk away ? Thanks CC |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Set up a bi/gay profile for him and say he's available daytimes. That might encourage him to get off his arse.
Future employment Secretary in the making  "
By christ, yeah. Would love that role. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldnt work to support someone who made no effort to help with the bills sorry
You say he's not worked for over a year but you have only been together for 18 months so basically he's taken you for a meal ticket from the start
I wouldnt have lasted 18 months sorry
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No offence but most on here are either single pretending to be single or cheating on wives husbands boyfriends girlfriends even on their dog lol.
Wrong place to ask for relationship advice talk to fella explain you are on swinging site slagging him off sure that will motivate him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get rid of him! who wants a man who is a leach? Just imagine what it would be like in 10 years?! You working, sorting out kids and him sitting on his arse doing fuck all.
Dumbing him might actually get his arse into gear and if it doesn't you've made a lucky escape. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He would have been kicked into touch before now if I were you. A few weeks unemployed maybe even 3 months but even if its part time work he's at least trying to contribute |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you can be here if you want - lots of people here for different reasons - only the minority will shout if you not here to shag then why the hell are you - xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No offence but most on here are either single pretending to be single or cheating on wives husbands boyfriends girlfriends even on their dog lol.
Wrong place to ask for relationship advice talk to fella explain you are on swinging site slagging him off sure that will motivate him."
disagree,, forums are a wealth of knowledge from a wide spectrum of people. Its a comfort to even just type out a niggle or problem. Guess the OP is just needing a vent and at some stage a lot of us who use the forums regularly have done this.
problem shared can be a problem halved |
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By *utumnWoman
over a year ago
leeds |
"I wouldnt work to support someone who made no effort to help with the bills sorry
You say he's not worked for over a year but you have only been together for 18 months so basically he's taken you for a meal ticket from the start
I wouldnt have lasted 18 months sorry
"
Take a look from an outsiders point of _iew, you wouldn't get any sympathy or advice from me because if you don't truly know the answer and your own self worth then there's no point |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If he was actually trying then I'd talk about it but if indeed he's a lazy twat and not even looking then walk away. Sorry but he's taking the piss and as someone has already said....you're a meal ticket!! |
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I know a girl who married a guy who was living in a hostel. Moved in with her with all sorts of crazy plans and great ideas. That was 4 years ago and he hasn't lifted a finger to try and get work. Does nothing about the house and has her children give up their beds when his come to visit as he won't have them on camp beds!
You need to think of yourself and your happiness. If you're happy to keep him then carry on but what are you getting back ... is it enough.
I've been there myself and it's not an easy decision. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you tried talking to him and saying how you feel?
hate bringing it up as he gets annoyed  "
I would be none stop nagging at him to get a job
Seriously I would lock the food up and everything and tell him he can eat it when he contributes toward it
But maybe that's why I'm single cause I'm a hard bitch |
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"
I know a girl who married a guy who was living in a hostel. Moved in with her with all sorts of crazy plans and great ideas. That was 4 years ago and he hasn't lifted a finger to try and get work. Does nothing about the house and has her children give up their beds when his come to visit as he won't have them on camp beds!
You need to think of yourself and your happiness. If you're happy to keep him then carry on but what are you getting back ... is it enough.
I've been there myself and it's not an easy decision."
thank you I think I know what to do just needed to offload Cx |
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"Have you tried talking to him and saying how you feel?
hate bringing it up as he gets annoyed
I would be none stop nagging at him to get a job
Seriously I would lock the food up and everything and tell him he can eat it when he contributes toward it
But maybe that's why I'm single cause I'm a hard bitch "
 |
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the main question is what does he do by 18 months you should know
does he try to find a job, are there any jobs within your area are they easy to get jobs there
what does he do for you
clean house and do the womans work and have everything ready for you to come home to
does he pull his weight around the house and garden doing what should be done
does he do the repairs when needed
or just slob around playing games all day
anyone can say do this do that, but we dont know the whole truth only you do its all up to you
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"the main question is what does he do by 18 months you should know
does he try to find a job, are there any jobs within your area are they easy to get jobs there
what does he do for you
clean house and do the womans work and have everything ready for you to come home to
does he pull his weight around the house and garden doing what should be done
does he do the repairs when needed
or just slob around playing games all day
anyone can say do this do that, but we dont know the whole truth only you do its all up to you
"
True I think I have made my decision thank you guys for your comments Cxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it seen in a different light when the man works but the woman doesn't? Just wondering."
It isn't by me, unless kids are involved and someone stays home to look after them I see no reason why both parties don't contribute towards the bills, a relationship is a partnership after all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you tried talking to him and saying how you feel?
hate bringing it up as he gets annoyed "
So?
Why should you be the only one pissed off with the situation? Tell him straight how you feel, and tell him if he doesn't like it then he knows where the door is.
Might seem extreme to kick him out but i've noticed most guys don't get their act together unless you force them to and you need stop supporting the way of life he has right now because right now he doesn't have to change or do anything because you're enabling everything to remain as it is. |
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"Have you tried talking to him and saying how you feel?
hate bringing it up as he gets annoyed
So?
Why should you be the only one pissed off with the situation? Tell him straight how you feel, and tell him if he doesn't like it then he knows where the door is.
Might seem extreme to kick him out but i've noticed most guys don't get their act together unless you force them to and you need stop supporting the way of life he has right now because right now he doesn't have to change or do anything because you're enabling everything to remain as it is."
I agree
Tough love works
If he loves you really wouldn't he want you to work less |
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My ex was the same. Went from full time to part time because he felt he "earned enough to live so didn't need to work that much", and then went from part time to leaving work altogether and pretty much spent his life playing W.o.W or C.o.D. I don't think I ever saw him apply for a single job.
I had given him enough warning that I wasn't going to support him and wasn't going to tolerate being the sole bill/rent payer while he sat on his fat arse all day and did nothing around the house.
He didn't listen so I kicked his sorry arse out without a 2nd thought.
- Amy. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I decided to end it nothing was going to change and I wasn't prepared to put up with it any longer thanks for the advice C xx"
Thank fuck for that. |
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"Well I decided to end it nothing was going to change and I wasn't prepared to put up with it any longer thanks for the advice C xx
what did he say about that ?
sounds a sensible thing to do "
He said everything he has said before about changing ect but enough was enough xx |
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