FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > 50 shades of grey..
50 shades of grey..
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Gimp | |||
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"Anyone here genuinely into bdsm? Do you think its good it's in the film and books and will give an insight to the lifestyle? Or will it just encourage people to pretend they are into it purely because Hollywood says it's cool " I think it has done one thing for sure...It has made it acceptable to talk about BDSM amongst non swingers and the generally less open people. Openness is a good thing in my book.  | |||
"Dont know..B&Q are drafting in extra rope and masking tape just in case. Her" Along with more sheds and grey paint for the not so literate amongst us | |||
"Anyone here genuinely into bdsm? Do you think its good it's in the film and books and will give an insight to the lifestyle? Or will it just encourage people to pretend they are into it purely because Hollywood says it's cool I think it has done one thing for sure...It has made it acceptable to talk about BDSM amongst non swingers and the generally less open people. Openness is a good thing in my book. " | |||
"Dont know..B&Q are drafting in extra rope and masking tape just in case. Her Along with more sheds and grey paint for the not so literate amongst us "  | |||
"Anyone here genuinely into bdsm? Do you think its good it's in the film and books and will give an insight to the lifestyle? Or will it just encourage people to pretend they are into it purely because Hollywood says it's cool " The books and film do not give an "insight to the lifestyle", what EL James calls BDSM is in fact RAPE and STALKING. The woman knows nothing at all about BDSM/Fet except for fiction read on fanfic pages. Anyone who imitates these atrocities in real life is likely to either be a. arrested or b. seriously harmed, physically, mentally or emotionally. The BDSM Community is up in arms about the books and has been since the first piece of poorly written trash hit the shelves. Many submissives have actually formed rallies, signed petitions to get the book removed from shelves and more. As a D/s couple who have been in the BDSM/Fet Lifestyle and community for nearly 20 years each, we have found these books to be extremely harmful to the community, setting expectations of abuse, stalking and non consensual sex (aka RAPE) to people entering the community and lifestyle. | |||
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"if it gets people talking and being more open then its a good thing and if it boosts employment in DIY stores all the better "That s what I was trying to say | |||
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"Anyone here genuinely into bdsm? Do you think its good it's in the film and books and will give an insight to the lifestyle? Or will it just encourage people to pretend they are into it purely because Hollywood says it's cool The books and film do not give an "insight to the lifestyle", what EL James calls BDSM is in fact RAPE and STALKING. The woman knows nothing at all about BDSM/Fet except for fiction read on fanfic pages. Anyone who imitates these atrocities in real life is likely to either be a. arrested or b. seriously harmed, physically, mentally or emotionally. The BDSM Community is up in arms about the books and has been since the first piece of poorly written trash hit the shelves. Many submissives have actually formed rallies, signed petitions to get the book removed from shelves and more. As a D/s couple who have been in the BDSM/Fet Lifestyle and community for nearly 20 years each, we have found these books to be extremely harmful to the community, setting expectations of abuse, stalking and non consensual sex (aka RAPE) to people entering the community and lifestyle." Not everyone in the BDSM community feels like you do. Please refrain from speaking for a very large and extraordinarily diverse group of people. | |||
"Anyone here genuinely into bdsm? Do you think its good it's in the film and books and will give an insight to the lifestyle? Or will it just encourage people to pretend they are into it purely because Hollywood says it's cool The books and film do not give an "insight to the lifestyle", what EL James calls BDSM is in fact RAPE and STALKING. The woman knows nothing at all about BDSM/Fet except for fiction read on fanfic pages. Anyone who imitates these atrocities in real life is likely to either be a. arrested or b. seriously harmed, physically, mentally or emotionally. The BDSM Community is up in arms about the books and has been since the first piece of poorly written trash hit the shelves. Many submissives have actually formed rallies, signed petitions to get the book removed from shelves and more. As a D/s couple who have been in the BDSM/Fet Lifestyle and community for nearly 20 years each, we have found these books to be extremely harmful to the community, setting expectations of abuse, stalking and non consensual sex (aka RAPE) to people entering the community and lifestyle." If people cannot distinguish between rape and sexual experimentation, plus the difference between fact and fiction, perhaps they should be banned from reading full stop. In my world this whole book has been made into something it isn't, by a lets get on the bandwagon brigade that's not even read the damned thing.  | |||
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"Spend some time on the multitude of BDSM/Fet community websites, including the "big three" (FL, bcom, collarme) and you'll see I'm speaking for a large majority." The one thing that puts me off BDSM is not this book but the attitude of some of the community. | |||
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"If people cannot distinguish between rape and sexual experimentation, plus the difference between fact and fiction, perhaps they should be banned from reading full stop. In my world this whole book has been made into something it isn't, by a lets get on the bandwagon brigade that's not even read the damned thing. "Sadly, we read all 3, the first out of curiosity as to why so many were upset by the portrayal of BDSM/Fet, the other 2 just to see if we could find anything remotely accurate, grammatically correct or that could be considered literature. I agree, in an ideal world, people would know the difference. But the influx of "Doms" and "Dommes" appearing in the community that think non-consensual kink is acceptable and normal has been horrific. Not to mention countless submissives that have had horrendous experiences at the hands of these so called Dominants, and indeed submissives that expect this to be normal behavior thanks to these badly researched books. Now by comparison, look at the Kushiel Series, Story of O, John Norman's Gor books, the Sleeping Beauty trilogy, hell anything written for Black lace publishing (who often add a disclaimer at the beginning of novels)... all of these books are written to show and example of BDSM/Fet.. but they clearly show it's fiction... the issue with the 50 Shades books is that they have been adopted as real world fiction... a "what if", not as a work of literary fiction. | |||
"Spend some time on the multitude of BDSM/Fet community websites, including the "big three" (FL, bcom, collarme) and you'll see I'm speaking for a large majority." I wouldn't say it's a large majority. I'd suggest that it's a VERY vocal minority. Most people simply do not give a fuck. | |||
" Sadly, we read all 3, the first out of curiosity as to why so many were upset by the portrayal of BDSM/Fet, the other 2 just to see if we could find anything remotely accurate, grammatically correct or that could be considered literature. I agree, in an ideal world, people would know the difference. But the influx of "Doms" and "Dommes" appearing in the community that think non-consensual kink is acceptable and normal has been horrific. Not to mention countless submissives that have had horrendous experiences at the hands of these so called Dominants, and indeed submissives that expect this to be normal behavior thanks to these badly researched books. " 1. Check your own written work before criticising that of others. Glass houses etc. 2. This hasn't actually happened out and about within the kink community. These 'rapists' have not seemed to have appear in clubs, despite many people online saying that they're the current terror of the month. | |||
"If people cannot distinguish between rape and sexual experimentation, plus the difference between fact and fiction, perhaps they should be banned from reading full stop. In my world this whole book has been made into something it isn't, by a lets get on the bandwagon brigade that's not even read the damned thing.
Sadly, we read all 3, the first out of curiosity as to why so many were upset by the portrayal of BDSM/Fet, the other 2 just to see if we could find anything remotely accurate, grammatically correct or that could be considered literature.
I agree, in an ideal world, people would know the difference. But the influx of "Doms" and "Dommes" appearing in the community that think non-consensual kink is acceptable and normal has been horrific. Not to mention countless submissives that have had horrendous experiences at the hands of these so called Dominants, and indeed submissives that expect this to be normal behavior thanks to these badly researched books.
Now by comparison, look at the Kushiel Series, Story of O, John Norman's Gor books, the Sleeping Beauty trilogy, hell anything written for Black lace publishing (who often add a disclaimer at the beginning of novels)... all of these books are written to show and example of BDSM/Fet.. but they clearly show it's fiction... the issue with the 50 Shades books is that they have been adopted as real world fiction... a "what if", not as a work of literary fiction.
"What is Real World Fiction ?. Gimp | |||
"If people cannot distinguish between rape and sexual experimentation, plus the difference between fact and fiction, perhaps they should be banned from reading full stop. In my world this whole book has been made into something it isn't, by a lets get on the bandwagon brigade that's not even read the damned thing.
Sadly, we read all 3, the first out of curiosity as to why so many were upset by the portrayal of BDSM/Fet, the other 2 just to see if we could find anything remotely accurate, grammatically correct or that could be considered literature.
I agree, in an ideal world, people would know the difference. But the influx of "Doms" and "Dommes" appearing in the community that think non-consensual kink is acceptable and normal has been horrific. Not to mention countless submissives that have had horrendous experiences at the hands of these so called Dominants, and indeed submissives that expect this to be normal behavior thanks to these badly researched books.
Now by comparison, look at the Kushiel Series, Story of O, John Norman's Gor books, the Sleeping Beauty trilogy, hell anything written for Black lace publishing (who often add a disclaimer at the beginning of novels)... all of these books are written to show and example of BDSM/Fet.. but they clearly show it's fiction... the issue with the 50 Shades books is that they have been adopted as real world fiction... a "what if", not as a work of literary fiction.
"Sorry, you have lost me a little with this. "why so many were upset"? the books sold millions and being made into a film. I suspect a few, who may have a vestige interest might be upset. Which publishing house in their right mind would print a book that was grammatically incorrect. The problem with the grammar is that it is written in first position with a lot of internal thought, and sorry internal thought doesn't follow grammar rules, if it did, people wouldn't have a problem with it. Because it doesn't follow the third person style of writing people are used to, it is automatically dismissed as rubbish. Horrendous experience from so called Dom's, surely it is no worse then A&E on a Saturday night with people having inserted items, people will experiment. My world is real, to me, and I haven't adopted it, so I would need proof. Agreed there are lots of better books out there. | |||
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"There is no rape in 50 shades. All sex is consensual and safe. I can understand that some members of the BDSM community dislike the plot as it portrays the Dom as a highly damaged / traumatized / fucked up individual who is healed/ changed by a virginal vanilla "sub". It is fiction but if the shoe fits..." Actually there is a rape scene. But I don't believe that makes the book inherently bad or dangerous. | |||
"Spend some time on the multitude of BDSM/Fet community websites, including the "big three" (FL, bcom, collarme) and you'll see I'm speaking for a large majority. The one thing that puts me off BDSM is not this book but the attitude of some of the community. "
Some... | |||
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"Can anyone recommend any good books along the same lines? "Shadowlands series by cherry Sinclair | |||
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"Can anyone recommend any good books along the same lines?
Shadowlands series by cherry Sinclair"Thanks | |||
"There is no rape in 50 shades. All sex is consensual and safe. I can understand that some members of the BDSM community dislike the plot as it portrays the Dom as a highly damaged / traumatized / fucked up individual who is healed/ changed by a virginal vanilla "sub". It is fiction but if the shoe fits... Actually there is a rape scene. But I don't believe that makes the book inherently bad or dangerous." And where is the rape in the book? | |||
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"There is no rape in 50 shades. All sex is consensual and safe. I can understand that some members of the BDSM community dislike the plot as it portrays the Dom as a highly damaged / traumatized / fucked up individual who is healed/ changed by a virginal vanilla "sub". It is fiction but if the shoe fits..." in my limited experience some DoDoms/subs are damaged and that is what makes us have the need | |||
"Anyone here genuinely into bdsm? Do you think its good it's in the film and books and will give an insight to the lifestyle? Or will it just encourage people to pretend they are into it purely because Hollywood says it's cool The books and film do not give an "insight to the lifestyle", what EL James calls BDSM is in fact RAPE and STALKING. The woman knows nothing at all about BDSM/Fet except for fiction read on fanfic pages. Anyone who imitates these atrocities in real life is likely to either be a. arrested or b. seriously harmed, physically, mentally or emotionally. The BDSM Community is up in arms about the books and has been since the first piece of poorly written trash hit the shelves. Many submissives have actually formed rallies, signed petitions to get the book removed from shelves and more. As a D/s couple who have been in the BDSM/Fet Lifestyle and community for nearly 20 years each, we have found these books to be extremely harmful to the community, setting expectations of abuse, stalking and non consensual sex (aka RAPE) to people entering the community and lifestyle. Not everyone in the BDSM community feels like you do. Please refrain from speaking for a very large and extraordinarily diverse group of people." i agree with @wasp hunter | |||
" And where is the rape in the book?" Chapter 12 (after he has broken into her home because he thinks she's dumped him): “No,” I protest, trying to kick him off. He stops. “If you struggle, I’ll tie your feet, too. If you make a noise, Anastasia, I will gag you. Keep quiet. Katherine is probably outside listening right now.” Chapter 15: Christian pushes Ana to have sex while she's d*unk, she's already scared that there will be a fight with him if she doesn't do what he says. Additionally, orgasm denial (and other BDSM practices) are generally not cool without negotiation. Chapter 16: When Ana is told that she has no option but to consent to TPE. Christian has already proved himself as a man who can kidnap AND break into homes. He then proceeds to beat her - which she hasn't consented to, and demean her - which she hasn't consented to. He later in Chapter 17 blames her for making him beat and rape her. Chapter 20: “We don’t have long. This will be quick, and it’s for me, not you. Do you understand? Don’t come or I will spank you,” he says through clenched teeth. This one was because she said no to having sex with him. | |||
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"There is no rape in 50 shades. All sex is consensual and safe. I can understand that some members of the BDSM community dislike the plot as it portrays the Dom as a highly damaged / traumatized / fucked up individual who is healed/ changed by a virginal vanilla "sub". It is fiction but if the shoe fits... in my limited experience some DoDoms/subs are damaged and that is what makes us have the need " Really? | |||
"I am sensing a lot of threads "Yep!
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