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Real date vs Fab expectations
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Recently had a proper date with a guy, and at the end of the dinner he assumed we would be having sex... Cue lots of pissy and moaning texts from him as to why I didn't stay etc etc.
It got me thinking, if it was a fab meet, I would definitely have fucked him. But for some reason I didn't want to. Also, if it was a fab guy messaging me moaning, I would have told him to fuck off and blocked him... Instead I found my self apologising and stroking his ego...
Why is it so different?!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Recently had a proper date with a guy, and at the end of the dinner he assumed we would be having sex... Cue lots of pissy and moaning texts from him as to why I didn't stay etc etc.
It got me thinking, if it was a fab meet, I would definitely have fucked him. But for some reason I didn't want to. Also, if it was a fab guy messaging me moaning, I would have told him to fuck off and blocked him... Instead I found my self apologising and stroking his ego...
Why is it so different?! "
Do you want to see him again?
And maybe Fab makes it more necessary to delete n block because of the sheer numbers and it becomes habit a bit?
I get far more Fab requests now than when I was online dating years ago. |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
You don't actually say if you liked the fella on the date? Perhaps the attraction wasn't there?
If you did like him, its maybe about being sure that he likes you and wasn't just after a quick shag, and to ensure that he respects you.
I don't fuck on first dates, and extremely rarely on first fab meets... so don't really differentiate between the two - although I no longer bother dating as its not what I want just now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is a difference. Fab meet motivated by sex. Date meet motivated by relationship. It is simplistic but it's not a bad formula.
The boundaries of both are fluid and not drawn in blood but expectations should be managed accordingly.
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you shouldnt have apologised the man should have been grateful for which ever way you choose to do
once started the sending of texts id have probably sent back a reply of, a date dosnt mean you get sex at end of it unless your looking for a fwb and thats not on your profile 
as goes for your moaning and bitching please dont contact me again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most of my long term relationships have been with women I had sex with on the first date.
The idea of holding out to gain respect certainly never worked on me.
I measure respect in other ways. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do agree with you but you can't think about any kind of commitments after a first date....Do you?
She left because she liked him too much....and she was already thinking about possible commitments..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There would be no difference for me actually. If i wanted to have sex with someone who wanted to have sex with me then it would happen. I think people think dating is holding back? Well the guy didn't but you did.
You apologised coz you did have sex? On here you decide straight away if you want sex or not and arrange that, but the date you only arranged dinner and didn't take that further even though you wanted to? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"you shouldnt have apologised the man should have been grateful for which ever way you choose to do
once started the sending of texts id have probably sent back a reply of, a date dosnt mean you get sex at end of it unless your looking for a fwb and thats not on your profile
as goes for your moaning and bitching please dont contact me again "
 |
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"Recently had a proper date with a guy, and at the end of the dinner he assumed we would be having sex... Cue lots of pissy and moaning texts from him as to why I didn't stay etc etc.
It got me thinking, if it was a fab meet, I would definitely have fucked him. But for some reason I didn't want to. Also, if it was a fab guy messaging me moaning, I would have told him to fuck off and blocked him... Instead I found my self apologising and stroking his ego...
Why is it so different?! "
Not that I go on dates but if I do I would be exactly the same! I would want dating to be about the build up and the excitement wondering whether it could be 2nd 3rd or 4th date before we got naked!
Fab we both/all know why we are there, so wouldn't be presumptuous to expect sex on a first meet! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" I do agree with you but you can't think about any kind of commitments after a first date....Do you?
She left because she liked him too much....and she was already thinking about possible commitments..... "
It didn't really occur to me he would want sex to be honest  which is bizzare considering the other weekend I was involved in an orgy lol sometimes I think I live two lives lol   |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Whether it's first vanilla dates or more often than not fab meets .... It's a social with me, might just be me... I have to feel some connection before I can get naked with someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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a fab social meet which could lead to fun is just that, a meet and greet and to see if anything is there to end up in bed
but a Vanilla date is more than the above, its a date to see if you want to date get to know them with a possible relationship in time
personally if i was going on a date (vanilla) i wouldn't jump into bed with them on 1st date |
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I'm the same I wouldn't sleep with a bloke on a first vanilla date. I was speaking to a guy that I met on a dating site about normal stuff and out of the blue he texts do I like to be tied up and my hair pulled. I sat there and thought WTF lol.
Dating is hard work at times you don't know what to do right or is it the wrong thing to do. |
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"A friend of mine has had loads of first date fucks with POF girls, he's never been the only one instagating it (whatever that word is)
I agree women can be worse than men "
The poor sod often feels used  |
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"There is a difference. Fab meet motivated by sex. Date meet motivated by relationship. It is simplistic but it's not a bad formula.
The boundaries of both are fluid and not drawn in blood but expectations should be managed accordingly.
"
Yes, I agree there's a difference even though in my youth most of my relationships started by going to bed - because I never dated per se, I just started relationships with people I already knew and liked!
But OP I know exactly what you mean - it's about expectation. So many men on dating sites are trying to 'get sex' by deception because they never actually wanted a relationship in the first place, so 'not going there' s them out and makes sure you are not deceived.
If I want 'one off' sex it's damn well going to be my decision, not because I've been conned into it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A friend of mine has had loads of first date fucks with POF girls, he's never been the only one instagating it (whatever that word is)
I agree women can be worse than men
The poor sod often feels used "
Hahahaha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There is a difference. Fab meet motivated by sex. Date meet motivated by relationship. It is simplistic but it's not a bad formula.
The boundaries of both are fluid and not drawn in blood but expectations should be managed accordingly.
Yes, I agree there's a difference even though in my youth most of my relationships started by going to bed - because I never dated per se, I just started relationships with people I already knew and liked!
But OP I know exactly what you mean - it's about expectation. So many men on dating sites are trying to 'get sex' by deception because they never actually wanted a relationship in the first place, so 'not going there' s them out and makes sure you are not deceived.
If I want 'one off' sex it's damn well going to be my decision, not because I've been conned into it."
perfectly put. |
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