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sexless relationship

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By *traight forward OP   Man  over a year ago

doncaster

if your partner refuses to have sex or be intermate. How long would it take to stray

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

I wouldn't

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

why stray? why not just talk about things and if there cant be a compromise then why not just separate?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"if your partner refuses to have sex or be intermate. How long would it take to stray"

88 minutes

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By *issmorganWoman  over a year ago

Calderdale innit

People give up too easily,counselling or chatting can help maybe rekindling the romance.If that all fails leave rather than cheat...

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By *yrdwomanWoman  over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

It took me about 8 years.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I wouldn't, assuming I'd tried to help them and supported them as much as a husband would / should already.

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By *onyneMan  over a year ago

Newcastle

Well I presume you have reached that point already if you are here...I wouldn't be looking for meets if I was in a relationship, but [as is always the case on the site...] each to their own

I guess the thing to do is look at the relationship if it is sexless, though I know things can be complicated and it is hard to judge or comment without the full facts of how people are...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It took me about 8 years."

5 in my case

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"if your partner refuses to have sex or be intermate. How long would it take to stray"

It took five years of her telling me to find it elsewhere before I did.

Best thing I ever did. she woke up. Realised I'd gone. Realised it wasn't what she wanted.

We're back together and now married. Fucking like bunnies

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I didn't. I endured my relationship for as long as possible then took drastic measures to get out of it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I wouldn't ever do it, I'd just end the relationship. Cheating is a scummy thing to do.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"why stray? why not just talk about things and if there cant be a compromise then why not just separate? "

This. With my ex husband he got to the point of moving away if I even touched him.

Turned out he was suffering depression I think, looking back.

We had money problems. He got a new job and things got better.

We got married. But I wasn't happy. The relationship was just all wrong.

We drifted apart further and further. On a works conference a colleague came onto me. I turned him down but it made me evaluate what was missing in my life.

I took some time away from my then husband and stayed with a friend. Bumped into a guy who randomly I'd lost my virginity to many, many years ago. I got d*unk. We had sex.

At that moment I knew the marriage was over. The next day I went home and told him I wanted to split up. We got divorced.

So yeah I wouldn't stay in the relationship but play away. What would be the point if the relationship wasn't working?

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By *uby0000Woman  over a year ago

hertfordshire

communication is the key its possible to be happy and not have sex with your partner

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"if your partner refuses to have sex or be intermate. How long would it take to stray"

Why stray? Why not address the problem or just break up?

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By *hell82Woman  over a year ago

Bristol

why stray? why not just talk about things and if there cant be a compromise then why not just separate?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I went eight years from age 20. I missed out on a lot. Tried everything, talking, counselling bla bla etc etc. I have wants and needs that I want to experience. As long as I'm careful nobody gets hurt.

You are dead for ever.

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By *abioMan  over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"I wouldn't"

me neither........

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I wouldn't

me neither........"

Same, would always talk never stray.

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By *ipsTeaserCouple  over a year ago

here and there, thereabouts

I would look at all the possible causes, rule out medical or emotional issues and sit and discuss whT was going on-openess and honesty are so important. I'd look at a compromise or ways to support each other before resorting to cheating. I don't judge those that cheat but if for myself I'd leave the relationship before that point as if you are that disconnected from it to consider cheating there are already big issues without adding the fall out of cheating.

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By *oobsandballsMan  over a year ago

st andrews

I was in a sexless relationship for a year. In the beginning I tried quite a few times, but any intimacy over and above holding hands was just not possible for him.

If he hadn't ended it, I would have. We're great friends though, get on really well

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When that happened to me, we talked, and then I left because it couldn't be resolved.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

TALK TALK TALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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By *awty MaxWoman  over a year ago

Edinburgh

I wouldnt stray/cheat. Talking, being honest about things, finding a compromise and supporting him in whatever the cause is or causes are is what I would do. Cheating will never be an option for me.

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By *issmorganWoman  over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"I went eight years from age 20. I missed out on a lot. Tried everything, talking, counselling bla bla etc etc. I have wants and needs that I want to experience. As long as I'm careful nobody gets hurt.

You are dead for ever."

people do find out though and it causes alot of pain and hurt no matter how careful you think you are.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Change your sex to female, you'll be fine....

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By *risky_MareWoman  over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I never did. A vow is a vow.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I had a sexless relationship for 8 years.

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By *ngieandMrManCouple  over a year ago

hereford

How do you stop your girlfriend from wanting to have sex with you... marry her

Another good way is to be a boring bastard and take her for granted.

Also not bothering to woo her, flirt with her, chat her up, tease her etc. that'll do the trick too.

How long should a person put up with it? I'd guess for as long as it takes for one or other to change the situation... one way or the other

Have you tried 'dating'? Each other. Presumably it was good to start with, have you worked out what has gone wrong other than you not getting a shag?

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By *inkxRabbitWoman  over a year ago

Mostly in GU24

It took me 12 years. Best thing I ever did. Even back having it with the OH!

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By *radleyandRavenCouple  over a year ago

Herts

I wouldn't. I would talk to them and if that came to nothing I would call it quits... Lasted 2 years with my ex without sex and when it became very apparent that he wasn't interested in fixing things, I ended it.

- Amy. x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"if your partner refuses to have sex or be intermate. How long would it take to stray"

Hour

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By *heOwlMan  over a year ago

Altrincham

Think it was about 3 years and I didn't stray, rather we talked about it and I left.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

15 years, and then only once we'd split up

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By *traight forward OP   Man  over a year ago

doncaster

Thanks guys. Some good advise. Got me thinking. Changed my profile to not meeting. Just gonna stay for the forum. Seems i need to make more of an effort to get the spark back and get out this rut

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

In my exeperience, 3 weeks that i knew of, apparently 2 years that i didn't.

But yer mates did, funny that eh?

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By *ee VianteWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Are you looking for justification, reassurance, absolution or an excuse?

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By *ady G and GTCouple  over a year ago

Coventry


"why stray? why not just talk about things and if there cant be a compromise then why not just separate? "

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By *andybeachWoman  over a year ago

In the middle

The last 6 years of my marriage were sexless, I didn't consider cheating and in the end I just wanted out

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By *traight forward OP   Man  over a year ago

doncaster


"How do you stop your girlfriend from wanting to have sex with you... marry her

Another good way is to be a boring bastard and take her for granted.

Also not bothering to woo her, flirt with her, chat her up, tease her etc. that'll do the trick too.

How long should a person put up with it? I'd guess for as long as it takes for one or other to change the situation... one way or the other

Have you tried 'dating'? Each other. Presumably it was good to start with, have you worked out what has gone wrong other than you not getting a shag?"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"if your partner refuses to have sex or be intermate. How long would it take to stray"
.

I dunno how longs a piece of string?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"if your partner refuses to have sex or be intermate. How long would it take to stray"

Is your partner getting it elsewhere?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I will give her the necessary support she needs but if there is still no show. I will encourage her to embrace a split up....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I am in a sex less marriage, I still love him but I'm not getting what I need sexually.We have had sex 3 times in 18 months. After months of trying to get some response from him and trying to discuss things with him I said I was gonna start looking on here for someone to take the pressure off him and he was very accepting of him.Its difficult and yes I do feel bad but I have needs and I can only masturbate so much.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Are you looking for justification, reassurance, absolution or an excuse?"

I think he is just after some plain old fashioned advice

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By *traight forward OP   Man  over a year ago

doncaster


"Are you looking for justification, reassurance, absolution or an excuse?

I think he is just after some plain old fashioned advice "

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By *ee VianteWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

What sort of advice though?

The 'I'm playing away, am I a bad person?' type or the 'I'm thinking about playing away, what should I do?' type or the 'My relationship is broken, how can I make it better?' type.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am in a sex less marriage, I still love him but I'm not getting what I need sexually.We have had sex 3 times in 18 months. After months of trying to get some response from him and trying to discuss things with him I said I was gonna start looking on here for someone to take the pressure off him and he was very accepting of him.Its difficult and yes I do feel bad but I have needs and I can only masturbate so much."

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"if your partner refuses to have sex or be intermate. How long would it take to stray"

I don't know because it would depend on the rest of the relationship. If a.partner refused to discuss or even talk

about the situation and facilitate a workable solution not very long. I believe that lack of communication in general and specifically about a problem destroys a relationship far quicker than the problem itself.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Monogamous sex with a partner is not an accurate measure of love and affection in the same way as people can enjoy sex with someone they do not love. Sex is a pleasant bodily function.

It is completely possible to love and want to stay with a partner who does not want sex in the same way as you can love your parents, children and friends with whom you do not have sex.

There is therefore no certainty that a sexless relationship should lead to a breakup. However, the one not wanting or refusing sex should understand the dangers implicit in the situation. Humans are driven to have sex and rejection hurts.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It took me 12 years. Best thing I ever did. Even back having it with the OH!"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Monogamous sex with a partner is not an accurate measure of love and affection in the same way as people can enjoy sex with someone they do not love. Sex is a pleasant bodily function.

It is completely possible to love and want to stay with a partner who does not want sex in the same way as you can love your parents, children and friends with whom you do not have sex.

There is therefore no certainty that a sexless relationship should lead to a breakup. However, the one not wanting or refusing sex should understand the dangers implicit in the situation. Humans are driven to have sex and rejection hurts."

Yes your right in saying this .

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Monogamous sex with a partner is not an accurate measure of love and affection in the same way as people can enjoy sex with someone they do not love. Sex is a pleasant bodily function.

It is completely possible to love and want to stay with a partner who does not want sex in the same way as you can love your parents, children and friends with whom you do not have sex.

There is therefore no certainty that a sexless relationship should lead to a breakup. However, the one not wanting or refusing sex should understand the dangers implicit in the situation. Humans are driven to have sex and rejection hurts."

The problem arises here when one person in a partnership believes that monogamous sex IS an accurate measure of love and affection. If this were really not true the rejection wouldn't hurt.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Monogamous sex with a partner is not an accurate measure of love and affection in the same way as people can enjoy sex with someone they do not love. Sex is a pleasant bodily function.

It is completely possible to love and want to stay with a partner who does not want sex in the same way as you can love your parents, children and friends with whom you do not have sex.

There is therefore no certainty that a sexless relationship should lead to a breakup. However, the one not wanting or refusing sex should understand the dangers implicit in the situation. Humans are driven to have sex and rejection hurts.

The problem arises here when one person in a partnership believes that monogamous sex IS an accurate measure of love and affection. If this were really not true the rejection wouldn't hurt. "

people get older there needs change and sex changes for some .It maybe they have a family a good life together and get on so well and happy to live like that as will be there for each other as they get older together . Sex is a small part of life and things change and people change .

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By *layfullsamMan  over a year ago

Solihull


"if your partner refuses to have sex or be intermate. How long would it take to stray"

Be better off finding out why they don't want sex or wont be intimate, sounds like there is underlying issues

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By *lactontogMan  over a year ago

Clacton on Sea


"I never did. A vow is a vow.

"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"...have you worked out what has gone wrong other than you not getting a shag?"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sexless marriage? That old excuse? When I met my last partner he told me he was in a sexless marriage six weeks after we started seeing each other, up until then he had told me he was divorced. I was in love, he left his wife, we got together. Six years down the line found out he had ben having multiple affairs for over two years and guess what? He told them all we were in a sexless marriage. We were having very good sex at least at least three a times a week, would have been more but he often turned me down. Boils my piss a bit when I read about poor blokes in sexless marriages

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Monogamous sex with a partner is not an accurate measure of love and affection in the same way as people can enjoy sex with someone they do not love. Sex is a pleasant bodily function.

It is completely possible to love and want to stay with a partner who does not want sex in the same way as you can love your parents, children and friends with whom you do not have sex.

There is therefore no certainty that a sexless relationship should lead to a breakup. However, the one not wanting or refusing sex should understand the dangers implicit in the situation. Humans are driven to have sex and rejection hurts.

The problem arises here when one person in a partnership believes that monogamous sex IS an accurate measure of love and affection. If this were really not true the rejection wouldn't hurt. people get older there needs change and sex changes for some .It maybe they have a family a good life together and get on so well and happy to live like that as will be there for each other as they get older together . Sex is a small part of life and things change and people change ."

I agree but my point (not very clearly made) is that many people do measure love by monogamous sex with their partner and assume that if sex isn't forthcoming their partner no longer loves them. This is where communication comes in.

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By *ercy the Park KeeperMan  over a year ago

Chester


"if your partner refuses to have sex or be intermate. How long would it take to stray"

I would make a decision which is more important a platonic relationship with that person or having sex than either stay, leave, inform them I need sex within or out of the relationship and move from there.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sexless marriage? That old excuse? When I met my last partner he told me he was in a sexless marriage six weeks after we started seeing each other, up until then he had told me he was divorced. I was in love, he left his wife, we got together. Six years down the line found out he had ben having multiple affairs for over two years and guess what? He told them all we were in a sexless marriage. We were having very good sex at least at least three a times a week, would have been more but he often turned me down. Boils my piss a bit when I read about poor blokes in sexless marriages "
Yes I bet it do boil your piss . lol new one on me ... xx But your right for some its just one more lie to get a leg over.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

People stray for lots of reasons. it's all well and good to say talk or leave sometimes that isn't an option.

Also not everyone who strays in a relationship is unhappy in their relationship.

My biggest issue is the portrayal of the other woman or other man. People never think about how they are getting hurt. They are just the villan.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"What sort of advice though?

The 'I'm playing away, am I a bad person?' type or the 'I'm thinking about playing away, what should I do?' type or the 'My relationship is broken, how can I make it better?' type."

Stop being so pedantic people can ask for advice without being shot down in flames for asking.

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By *ee VianteWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"What sort of advice though?

The 'I'm playing away, am I a bad person?' type or the 'I'm thinking about playing away, what should I do?' type or the 'My relationship is broken, how can I make it better?' type.

Stop being so pedantic people can ask for advice without being shot down in flames for asking. "

I'm not being pedantic. He can ask for advice and people can ask him to clarify what he's asking, particularly if it changes the advice they'd give.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"What sort of advice though?

The 'I'm playing away, am I a bad person?' type or the 'I'm thinking about playing away, what should I do?' type or the 'My relationship is broken, how can I make it better?' type.

Stop being so pedantic people can ask for advice without being shot down in flames for asking.

I'm not being pedantic. He can ask for advice and people can ask him to clarify what he's asking, particularly if it changes the advice they'd give."

Yeah right...ok

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By *ee VianteWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"What sort of advice though?

The 'I'm playing away, am I a bad person?' type or the 'I'm thinking about playing away, what should I do?' type or the 'My relationship is broken, how can I make it better?' type.

Stop being so pedantic people can ask for advice without being shot down in flames for asking.

I'm not being pedantic. He can ask for advice and people can ask him to clarify what he's asking, particularly if it changes the advice they'd give.

Yeah right...ok "

I'm not sure why you're trying to start a fight with me but I'm not interested. If my post broke the rules, report it. If it didn't break the rules then I've as much right to have posted it as anyone else.

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By *SweetVioletxWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool

Never. But then when I'm unhappy in a relationship I end it. I respect myself and my ex partners too much not to treat them with honesty and dignity.

For me perspersonallyly a sexless relationship is an unhappy one.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"What sort of advice though?

The 'I'm playing away, am I a bad person?' type or the 'I'm thinking about playing away, what should I do?' type or the 'My relationship is broken, how can I make it better?' type.

Stop being so pedantic people can ask for advice without being shot down in flames for asking.

I'm not being pedantic. He can ask for advice and people can ask him to clarify what he's asking, particularly if it changes the advice they'd give.

Yeah right...ok

I'm not sure why you're trying to start a fight with me but I'm not interested. If my post broke the rules, report it. If it didn't break the rules then I've as much right to have posted it as anyone else."

I think you are being paranoid here I'm not trying to start anything simply stating my opinion which you also do on occasions in here. You of course have every right to post on here the same as everyone else.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"People stray for lots of reasons. it's all well and good to say talk or leave sometimes that isn't an option.

Also not everyone who strays in a relationship is unhappy in their relationship.

My biggest issue is the portrayal of the other woman or other man. People never think about how they are getting hurt. They are just the villan. "

The 'other' man or woman shouldn't be the villain in my opinion, but you're right they're often called such. I'm not sure we should be concerned about them getting hurt either, provided they knew what they were getting into, but definitely agree that the party to blame is always the one who is in the relationship.

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By *dventuroususCouple  over a year ago

sunderland


"People stray for lots of reasons. it's all well and good to say talk or leave sometimes that isn't an option.

Also not everyone who strays in a relationship is unhappy in their relationship.

My biggest issue is the portrayal of the other woman or other man. People never think about how they are getting hurt. They are just the villan.

The 'other' man or woman shouldn't be the villain in my opinion, but you're right they're often called such. I'm not sure we should be concerned about them getting hurt either, provided they knew what they were getting into, but definitely agree that the party to blame is always the one who is in the relationship. "

if the third party was fully aware of what they were getting into then they are just as much to blame and deserve what comes, if they were kept unaware then blame cannot lie at there feet.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"People stray for lots of reasons. it's all well and good to say talk or leave sometimes that isn't an option.

Also not everyone who strays in a relationship is unhappy in their relationship.

My biggest issue is the portrayal of the other woman or other man. People never think about how they are getting hurt. They are just the villan.

The 'other' man or woman shouldn't be the villain in my opinion, but you're right they're often called such. I'm not sure we should be concerned about them getting hurt either, provided they knew what they were getting into, but definitely agree that the party to blame is always the one who is in the relationship.

if the third party was fully aware of what they were getting into then they are just as much to blame and deserve what comes, if they were kept unaware then blame cannot lie at there feet."

I don't think they're as much to blame at all. I'm married. If I meet someone and then something happens to my relationship at a later date, that's my fault entirely, not the fault of the person I met. I made the decision to cheat, my responsibility.

You could argue it's not nice that they knowingly meet someone cheating on their partner, but that's not the same thing as being to blame.

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By *osieWoman  over a year ago

Wembley


"if your partner refuses to have sex or be intermate. How long would it take to stray"

The loneliest person is one who is alone in a relationship

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was with someone for 5 months only had it twice. Had to use pam alot

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo


"Are you looking for justification, reassurance, absolution or an excuse?"

He did say he has taken all the advice on board just above your post and what he is going to do next

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By *ee VianteWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Are you looking for justification, reassurance, absolution or an excuse?

He did say he has taken all the advice on board just above your post and what he is going to do next "

Yes, he did. That comment wasn't there when I started writing mine.

I've been in the sexless relationship situation and I can understand the frustration.

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By *umbriaman1962Man  over a year ago

outside of penrith

[Removed by poster at 04/02/15 17:06:58]

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By *umbriaman1962Man  over a year ago

outside of penrith

also what do you class as sexless

I am separated in middle of a divorce

in her eyes sex ever two or three months was normal, I was classed as over sexed wanting it more often.

no two marriages are the same

I tried the talking about it

tried the romantic

tried most things

yes I did stay in Finnish, but thankfully never found out

now in middle of almost friendly divorce

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By *dventuroususCouple  over a year ago

sunderland


"People stray for lots of reasons. it's all well and good to say talk or leave sometimes that isn't an option.

Also not everyone who strays in a relationship is unhappy in their relationship.

My biggest issue is the portrayal of the other woman or other man. People never think about how they are getting hurt. They are just the villan.

The 'other' man or woman shouldn't be the villain in my opinion, but you're right they're often called such. I'm not sure we should be concerned about them getting hurt either, provided they knew what they were getting into, but definitely agree that the party to blame is always the one who is in the relationship.

if the third party was fully aware of what they were getting into then they are just as much to blame and deserve what comes, if they were kept unaware then blame cannot lie at there feet.

I don't think they're as much to blame at all. I'm married. If I meet someone and then something happens to my relationship at a later date, that's my fault entirely, not the fault of the person I met. I made the decision to cheat, my responsibility.

You could argue it's not nice that they knowingly meet someone cheating on their partner, but that's not the same thing as being to blame."

of course they are, it doesnt matter which way its buttered up, if a person chooses to cheat on there husband/wife they do so knowing exactly what they are doing, who they are hurting, whos lives they could destroy, what could/will happen if/when found out, likewise if a person is in full knowledge of the facts and still chooses to have a relationship with the said wandering spouse, then they also do it knowing exactly what they are doing and in full knowledge of all the above, it takes 2 to tango, they are both equally to blame for it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"People stray for lots of reasons. it's all well and good to say talk or leave sometimes that isn't an option.

Also not everyone who strays in a relationship is unhappy in their relationship.

My biggest issue is the portrayal of the other woman or other man. People never think about how they are getting hurt. They are just the villan.

The 'other' man or woman shouldn't be the villain in my opinion, but you're right they're often called such. I'm not sure we should be concerned about them getting hurt either, provided they knew what they were getting into, but definitely agree that the party to blame is always the one who is in the relationship.

if the third party was fully aware of what they were getting into then they are just as much to blame and deserve what comes, if they were kept unaware then blame cannot lie at there feet.

I don't think they're as much to blame at all. I'm married. If I meet someone and then something happens to my relationship at a later date, that's my fault entirely, not the fault of the person I met. I made the decision to cheat, my responsibility.

You could argue it's not nice that they knowingly meet someone cheating on their partner, but that's not the same thing as being to blame."

Agree. it's the attached person's 'fault'. The other person they meet isn't to blame at all.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"People stray for lots of reasons. it's all well and good to say talk or leave sometimes that isn't an option.

Also not everyone who strays in a relationship is unhappy in their relationship.

My biggest issue is the portrayal of the other woman or other man. People never think about how they are getting hurt. They are just the villan.

The 'other' man or woman shouldn't be the villain in my opinion, but you're right they're often called such. I'm not sure we should be concerned about them getting hurt either, provided they knew what they were getting into, but definitely agree that the party to blame is always the one who is in the relationship.

if the third party was fully aware of what they were getting into then they are just as much to blame and deserve what comes, if they were kept unaware then blame cannot lie at there feet.

I don't think they're as much to blame at all. I'm married. If I meet someone and then something happens to my relationship at a later date, that's my fault entirely, not the fault of the person I met. I made the decision to cheat, my responsibility.

You could argue it's not nice that they knowingly meet someone cheating on their partner, but that's not the same thing as being to blame.

of course they are, it doesnt matter which way its buttered up, if a person chooses to cheat on there husband/wife they do so knowing exactly what they are doing, who they are hurting, whos lives they could destroy, what could/will happen if/when found out, likewise if a person is in full knowledge of the facts and still chooses to have a relationship with the said wandering spouse, then they also do it knowing exactly what they are doing and in full knowledge of all the above, it takes 2 to tango, they are both equally to blame for it."

That's your opinion, I still completely disagree. Any man I meet is not responsible for my relationship decisions at all.

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By *ee VianteWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"People stray for lots of reasons. it's all well and good to say talk or leave sometimes that isn't an option.

Also not everyone who strays in a relationship is unhappy in their relationship.

My biggest issue is the portrayal of the other woman or other man. People never think about how they are getting hurt. They are just the villan.

The 'other' man or woman shouldn't be the villain in my opinion, but you're right they're often called such. I'm not sure we should be concerned about them getting hurt either, provided they knew what they were getting into, but definitely agree that the party to blame is always the one who is in the relationship.

if the third party was fully aware of what they were getting into then they are just as much to blame and deserve what comes, if they were kept unaware then blame cannot lie at there feet.

I don't think they're as much to blame at all. I'm married. If I meet someone and then something happens to my relationship at a later date, that's my fault entirely, not the fault of the person I met. I made the decision to cheat, my responsibility.

You could argue it's not nice that they knowingly meet someone cheating on their partner, but that's not the same thing as being to blame.

Agree. it's the attached person's 'fault'. The other person they meet isn't to blame at all. "

I wish I felt like this. I decline quite a few guys I'd like to meet, because they are attached. It feels wrong to meet them, knowing I'm playing a significant role in a situation that would devastate their partner if they found out.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"People stray for lots of reasons. it's all well and good to say talk or leave sometimes that isn't an option.

Also not everyone who strays in a relationship is unhappy in their relationship.

My biggest issue is the portrayal of the other woman or other man. People never think about how they are getting hurt. They are just the villan.

The 'other' man or woman shouldn't be the villain in my opinion, but you're right they're often called such. I'm not sure we should be concerned about them getting hurt either, provided they knew what they were getting into, but definitely agree that the party to blame is always the one who is in the relationship.

if the third party was fully aware of what they were getting into then they are just as much to blame and deserve what comes, if they were kept unaware then blame cannot lie at there feet.

I don't think they're as much to blame at all. I'm married. If I meet someone and then something happens to my relationship at a later date, that's my fault entirely, not the fault of the person I met. I made the decision to cheat, my responsibility.

You could argue it's not nice that they knowingly meet someone cheating on their partner, but that's not the same thing as being to blame.

Agree. it's the attached person's 'fault'. The other person they meet isn't to blame at all.

I wish I felt like this. I decline quite a few guys I'd like to meet, because they are attached. It feels wrong to meet them, knowing I'm playing a significant role in a situation that would devastate their partner if they found out."

If they don't meet you they will meet someone else. You're not forcing them to meet, it's their choice. Hence they are solely to blame.

Any attached person that places any blame on the 'other person' their partner fucked... is basically a fruitcake.

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By *phroditeWoman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"

I wish I felt like this. I decline quite a few guys I'd like to meet, because they are attached. It feels wrong to meet them, knowing I'm playing a significant role in a situation that would devastate their partner if they found out."

This!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

If they don't meet you they will meet someone else. You're not forcing them to meet, it's their choice. Hence they are solely to blame.

Any attached person that places any blame on the 'other person' their partner fucked... is basically a fruitcake. "

this. But of course people decide for themselves what they're comfortable with and should go with that.

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By *ee VianteWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"People stray for lots of reasons. it's all well and good to say talk or leave sometimes that isn't an option.

Also not everyone who strays in a relationship is unhappy in their relationship.

My biggest issue is the portrayal of the other woman or other man. People never think about how they are getting hurt. They are just the villan.

The 'other' man or woman shouldn't be the villain in my opinion, but you're right they're often called such. I'm not sure we should be concerned about them getting hurt either, provided they knew what they were getting into, but definitely agree that the party to blame is always the one who is in the relationship.

if the third party was fully aware of what they were getting into then they are just as much to blame and deserve what comes, if they were kept unaware then blame cannot lie at there feet.

I don't think they're as much to blame at all. I'm married. If I meet someone and then something happens to my relationship at a later date, that's my fault entirely, not the fault of the person I met. I made the decision to cheat, my responsibility.

You could argue it's not nice that they knowingly meet someone cheating on their partner, but that's not the same thing as being to blame.

Agree. it's the attached person's 'fault'. The other person they meet isn't to blame at all.

I wish I felt like this. I decline quite a few guys I'd like to meet, because they are attached. It feels wrong to meet them, knowing I'm playing a significant role in a situation that would devastate their partner if they found out.

If they don't meet you they will meet someone else. You're not forcing them to meet, it's their choice. Hence they are solely to blame.

Any attached person that places any blame on the 'other person' their partner fucked... is basically a fruitcake. "

It's their choice to betray their partner's trust for whatever, yes. But it's my choice whether to be involved or not.

If someone gets hurt as a result of something I was part of, and knew might hurt them, then I am partially to blame.

I know if they don't meet me that they'll meet someone else, but I can't be responsible for whether someone else is involved in something that causes hurt. I can only chose what I do.

I certainly don't agree with a partner putting all the blame on the other person but they're not a completely innocent party (if they knew the person they were shagging was attached).

I'd love to be able to meet attached (and cheating) people and not feel guilty though.

I can see the logic that I've made no commitment to the partner and I can rationalise it until I am blue in the face. It doesn't help. I still can't do it.

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By *ee VianteWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

*for whatever reason (because I know circumstances can be complicated and there are many potential reasons)

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By *issmorganWoman  over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"People stray for lots of reasons. it's all well and good to say talk or leave sometimes that isn't an option.

Also not everyone who strays in a relationship is unhappy in their relationship.

My biggest issue is the portrayal of the other woman or other man. People never think about how they are getting hurt. They are just the villan.

The 'other' man or woman shouldn't be the villain in my opinion, but you're right they're often called such. I'm not sure we should be concerned about them getting hurt either, provided they knew what they were getting into, but definitely agree that the party to blame is always the one who is in the relationship.

if the third party was fully aware of what they were getting into then they are just as much to blame and deserve what comes, if they were kept unaware then blame cannot lie at there feet.

I don't think they're as much to blame at all. I'm married. If I meet someone and then something happens to my relationship at a later date, that's my fault entirely, not the fault of the person I met. I made the decision to cheat, my responsibility.

You could argue it's not nice that they knowingly meet someone cheating on their partner, but that's not the same thing as being to blame.

of course they are, it doesnt matter which way its buttered up, if a person chooses to cheat on there husband/wife they do so knowing exactly what they are doing, who they are hurting, whos lives they could destroy, what could/will happen if/when found out, likewise if a person is in full knowledge of the facts and still chooses to have a relationship with the said wandering spouse, then they also do it knowing exactly what they are doing and in full knowledge of all the above, it takes 2 to tango, they are both equally to blame for it."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The Woman took a Vow, Love honour and OBEY, Personally i would just wait til Shes asleep and slip her a length, At least you get to empty your dirty Water

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

If they don't meet you they will meet someone else. You're not forcing them to meet, it's their choice. Hence they are solely to blame.

Any attached person that places any blame on the 'other person' their partner fucked... is basically a fruitcake.

this. But of course people decide for themselves what they're comfortable with and should go with that."

Absolutely.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"People stray for lots of reasons. it's all well and good to say talk or leave sometimes that isn't an option.

Also not everyone who strays in a relationship is unhappy in their relationship.

My biggest issue is the portrayal of the other woman or other man. People never think about how they are getting hurt. They are just the villan.

The 'other' man or woman shouldn't be the villain in my opinion, but you're right they're often called such. I'm not sure we should be concerned about them getting hurt either, provided they knew what they were getting into, but definitely agree that the party to blame is always the one who is in the relationship.

if the third party was fully aware of what they were getting into then they are just as much to blame and deserve what comes, if they were kept unaware then blame cannot lie at there feet.

I don't think they're as much to blame at all. I'm married. If I meet someone and then something happens to my relationship at a later date, that's my fault entirely, not the fault of the person I met. I made the decision to cheat, my responsibility.

You could argue it's not nice that they knowingly meet someone cheating on their partner, but that's not the same thing as being to blame.

of course they are, it doesnt matter which way its buttered up, if a person chooses to cheat on there husband/wife they do so knowing exactly what they are doing, who they are hurting, whos lives they could destroy, what could/will happen if/when found out, likewise if a person is in full knowledge of the facts and still chooses to have a relationship with the said wandering spouse, then they also do it knowing exactly what they are doing and in full knowledge of all the above, it takes 2 to tango, they are both equally to blame for it."

it takes 2 to tango it doesn't matter which way its buttered up .. Your right.

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By *ee VianteWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"

If they don't meet you they will meet someone else. You're not forcing them to meet, it's their choice. Hence they are solely to blame.

Any attached person that places any blame on the 'other person' their partner fucked... is basically a fruitcake.

this. But of course people decide for themselves what they're comfortable with and should go with that.

Absolutely. "

What I think is right (for me) and what I want are at war with each other.

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By *lirtyjjWoman  over a year ago

Meath

I think it's nobody else's business why people are on here. I'm here for me and i don't care if people want to judge me for it.

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By *ancs MinxWoman  over a year ago

Burnley


"I wouldn't ever do it, I'd just end the relationship. Cheating is a scummy thing to do."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I Would be crap at cheating i just would be .

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By *ina75Woman  over a year ago

Stone

Be honest with yourself. They don't fancy sex with you.

Was married and the last several years were sexless. I even had loads of medical tests and investigations to find out what was wrong.

We split up, I met someone else and suddenly had an amazing sex drive. Nothing medically wrong just with the wrong person.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It took me 2 months I was having an affair for 9 years while I was with my ex partner until I finally left. I then met my next ex partner who didn't like kissing or even oral and it was 3 years into our relationship that I got d*unk one night and kissed a male friend and god didn't I realise what I was missing out on. It wasn't long after that he left me as he was cheating on me lol x

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By *dventuroususCouple  over a year ago

sunderland


"People stray for lots of reasons. it's all well and good to say talk or leave sometimes that isn't an option.

Also not everyone who strays in a relationship is unhappy in their relationship.

My biggest issue is the portrayal of the other woman or other man. People never think about how they are getting hurt. They are just the villan.

The 'other' man or woman shouldn't be the villain in my opinion, but you're right they're often called such. I'm not sure we should be concerned about them getting hurt either, provided they knew what they were getting into, but definitely agree that the party to blame is always the one who is in the relationship.

if the third party was fully aware of what they were getting into then they are just as much to blame and deserve what comes, if they were kept unaware then blame cannot lie at there feet.

I don't think they're as much to blame at all. I'm married. If I meet someone and then something happens to my relationship at a later date, that's my fault entirely, not the fault of the person I met. I made the decision to cheat, my responsibility.

You could argue it's not nice that they knowingly meet someone cheating on their partner, but that's not the same thing as being to blame.

Agree. it's the attached person's 'fault'. The other person they meet isn't to blame at all.

I wish I felt like this. I decline quite a few guys I'd like to meet, because they are attached. It feels wrong to meet them, knowing I'm playing a significant role in a situation that would devastate their partner if they found out.

If they don't meet you they will meet someone else. You're not forcing them to meet, it's their choice. Hence they are solely to blame.

Any attached person that places any blame on the 'other person' their partner fucked... is basically a fruitcake.

It's their choice to betray their partner's trust for whatever, yes. But it's my choice whether to be involved or not.

If someone gets hurt as a result of something I was part of, and knew might hurt them, then I am partially to blame.

I know if they don't meet me that they'll meet someone else, but I can't be responsible for whether someone else is involved in something that causes hurt. I can only chose what I do.

I certainly don't agree with a partner putting all the blame on the other person but they're not a completely innocent party (if they knew the person they were shagging was attached).

I'd love to be able to meet attached (and cheating) people and not feel guilty though.

I can see the logic that I've made no commitment to the partner and I can rationalise it until I am blue in the face. It doesn't help. I still can't do it."

thats because you have a conscience, and common sense.

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By *dventuroususCouple  over a year ago

sunderland


"People stray for lots of reasons. it's all well and good to say talk or leave sometimes that isn't an option.

Also not everyone who strays in a relationship is unhappy in their relationship.

My biggest issue is the portrayal of the other woman or other man. People never think about how they are getting hurt. They are just the villan.

The 'other' man or woman shouldn't be the villain in my opinion, but you're right they're often called such. I'm not sure we should be concerned about them getting hurt either, provided they knew what they were getting into, but definitely agree that the party to blame is always the one who is in the relationship.

if the third party was fully aware of what they were getting into then they are just as much to blame and deserve what comes, if they were kept unaware then blame cannot lie at there feet.

I don't think they're as much to blame at all. I'm married. If I meet someone and then something happens to my relationship at a later date, that's my fault entirely, not the fault of the person I met. I made the decision to cheat, my responsibility.

You could argue it's not nice that they knowingly meet someone cheating on their partner, but that's not the same thing as being to blame.

Agree. it's the attached person's 'fault'. The other person they meet isn't to blame at all.

I wish I felt like this. I decline quite a few guys I'd like to meet, because they are attached. It feels wrong to meet them, knowing I'm playing a significant role in a situation that would devastate their partner if they found out.

If they don't meet you they will meet someone else. You're not forcing them to meet, it's their choice. Hence they are solely to blame.

Any attached person that places any blame on the 'other person' their partner fucked... is basically a fruitcake. "

ok and thats a totally sane way of looking at it lol.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

This is why God invented the "wank"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"People stray for lots of reasons. it's all well and good to say talk or leave sometimes that isn't an option.

Also not everyone who strays in a relationship is unhappy in their relationship.

My biggest issue is the portrayal of the other woman or other man. People never think about how they are getting hurt. They are just the villan.

The 'other' man or woman shouldn't be the villain in my opinion, but you're right they're often called such. I'm not sure we should be concerned about them getting hurt either, provided they knew what they were getting into, but definitely agree that the party to blame is always the one who is in the relationship.

if the third party was fully aware of what they were getting into then they are just as much to blame and deserve what comes, if they were kept unaware then blame cannot lie at there feet.

I don't think they're as much to blame at all. I'm married. If I meet someone and then something happens to my relationship at a later date, that's my fault entirely, not the fault of the person I met. I made the decision to cheat, my responsibility.

You could argue it's not nice that they knowingly meet someone cheating on their partner, but that's not the same thing as being to blame.

Agree. it's the attached person's 'fault'. The other person they meet isn't to blame at all.

I wish I felt like this. I decline quite a few guys I'd like to meet, because they are attached. It feels wrong to meet them, knowing I'm playing a significant role in a situation that would devastate their partner if they found out.

If they don't meet you they will meet someone else. You're not forcing them to meet, it's their choice. Hence they are solely to blame.

Any attached person that places any blame on the 'other person' their partner fucked... is basically a fruitcake.

ok and thats a totally sane way of looking at it lol."

Thank you.

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By *dventuroususCouple  over a year ago

sunderland


"People stray for lots of reasons. it's all well and good to say talk or leave sometimes that isn't an option.

Also not everyone who strays in a relationship is unhappy in their relationship.

My biggest issue is the portrayal of the other woman or other man. People never think about how they are getting hurt. They are just the villan.

The 'other' man or woman shouldn't be the villain in my opinion, but you're right they're often called such. I'm not sure we should be concerned about them getting hurt either, provided they knew what they were getting into, but definitely agree that the party to blame is always the one who is in the relationship.

if the third party was fully aware of what they were getting into then they are just as much to blame and deserve what comes, if they were kept unaware then blame cannot lie at there feet.

I don't think they're as much to blame at all. I'm married. If I meet someone and then something happens to my relationship at a later date, that's my fault entirely, not the fault of the person I met. I made the decision to cheat, my responsibility.

You could argue it's not nice that they knowingly meet someone cheating on their partner, but that's not the same thing as being to blame.

Agree. it's the attached person's 'fault'. The other person they meet isn't to blame at all.

I wish I felt like this. I decline quite a few guys I'd like to meet, because they are attached. It feels wrong to meet them, knowing I'm playing a significant role in a situation that would devastate their partner if they found out.

If they don't meet you they will meet someone else. You're not forcing them to meet, it's their choice. Hence they are solely to blame.

Any attached person that places any blame on the 'other person' their partner fucked... is basically a fruitcake.

ok and thats a totally sane way of looking at it lol.

Thank you."

your welcome.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"if your partner refuses to have sex or be intermate. How long would it take to stray"

About 12 years

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By *osieWoman  over a year ago

Wembley


"if your partner refuses to have sex or be intermate. How long would it take to stray"

I really do admire you. You took the advice from the people here and are taking some time out by changing your profile

I wish you the best in that I do hope that either:

1) your partner realises how sad it makes you by her not being intimate with you

2) that, in case she cannot offer physical intimacy, she agrees that the relationship is worth more than any sex you might have with anyone here

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Let me chuck this out there , as this happened to me , what if your in love with someone who is just not horny , just don't have that fire and passion for sex or is a prood to an extent ?? But you love being with them everything else is perfect , then what ? ?????

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Let me chuck this out there , as this happened to me , what if your in love with someone who is just not horny , just don't have that fire and passion for sex or is a prood to an extent ?? But you love being with them everything else is perfect , then what ? ????? "

You discuss and then you masturbate. You don't lie to them.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Let me chuck this out there , as this happened to me , what if your in love with someone who is just not horny , just don't have that fire and passion for sex or is a prood to an extent ?? But you love being with them everything else is perfect , then what ? ????? "

Then you might find yourself somewhere like this as its the least worst option. Sometimes one aspect of people's lives are a bit incompatible while all the rest is fantastic. My _iew, but I know 99% on here will disagree with me, is that it's not worth binning the entire thing because of that one incompatibility.

Some people find themselves here because they don't want an emotional affair, they don't want to sleep with someone at the office christmas party or do anything in any way connected to their real life but there's a part of them they tried to squash for a long time that needs release.

To those who say cheating is never acceptable and couples should just split up, if you had a sister whose husband left her because they weren't having enough sex, I dare say you'd probably hate him almost if not just as much as if he loved her to death but found someone else to have sex with.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Let me chuck this out there , as this happened to me , what if your in love with someone who is just not horny , just don't have that fire and passion for sex or is a prood to an extent ?? But you love being with them everything else is perfect , then what ? ????? "

If I were the partner who wasn't interested in sex I would tell my man he can look for it elsewhere. If he then said he didn't want to I would give him enough sex to keep him satisfied. I believe sex and intimacy is an integral part of a relationship unless both partners are of the same mind not to have a sexual relationship. If it wasn't important we wouldn't have swingers would we? I'm sure there are swinging partners who are only doing it to please a partner or for them to have what they can't give. I think it takes a lot to push most people into looking elsewhere for sex. The lucky ones get their partner involved or are given permission

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I believe sex and intimacy is an integral part of a relationship unless both partners are of the same mind not to have a sexual relationship"

Absolutely. And it's perfect when both parties in a relationship feel the same way.

But when they don't...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Let me chuck this out there , as this happened to me , what if your in love with someone who is just not horny , just don't have that fire and passion for sex or is a prood to an extent ?? But you love being with them everything else is perfect , then what ? ?????

Then you might find yourself somewhere like this as its the least worst option. Sometimes one aspect of people's lives are a bit incompatible while all the rest is fantastic. My _iew, but I know 99% on here will disagree with me, is that it's not worth binning the entire thing because of that one incompatibility.

Some people find themselves here because they don't want an emotional affair, they don't want to sleep with someone at the office christmas party or do anything in any way connected to their real life but there's a part of them they tried to squash for a long time that needs release.

To those who say cheating is never acceptable and couples should just split up, if you had a sister whose husband left her because they weren't having enough sex, I dare say you'd probably hate him almost if not just as much as if he loved her to death but found someone else to have sex with. "

I see your point totally , I wish I know about this place back then , I'm no longer in that situation but from past experience I can see how people would cheat rather then chuck the whole relationship down the pan .

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By *dventuroususCouple  over a year ago

sunderland


"Let me chuck this out there , as this happened to me , what if your in love with someone who is just not horny , just don't have that fire and passion for sex or is a prood to an extent ?? But you love being with them everything else is perfect , then what ? ?????

Then you might find yourself somewhere like this as its the least worst option. Sometimes one aspect of people's lives are a bit incompatible while all the rest is fantastic. My _iew, but I know 99% on here will disagree with me, is that it's not worth binning the entire thing because of that one incompatibility.

Some people find themselves here because they don't want an emotional affair, they don't want to sleep with someone at the office christmas party or do anything in any way connected to their real life but there's a part of them they tried to squash for a long time that needs release.

To those who say cheating is never acceptable and couples should just split up, if you had a sister whose husband left her because they weren't having enough sex, I dare say you'd probably hate him almost if not just as much as if he loved her to death but found someone else to have sex with.

I see your point totally , I wish I know about this place back then , I'm no longer in that situation but from past experience I can see how people would cheat rather then chuck the whole relationship down the pan . "

lol yep you keep telling yourself that to make you feel better.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple  over a year ago

Herts


"Let me chuck this out there , as this happened to me , what if your in love with someone who is just not horny , just don't have that fire and passion for sex or is a prood to an extent ?? But you love being with them everything else is perfect , then what ? ?????

Then you might find yourself somewhere like this as its the least worst option. Sometimes one aspect of people's lives are a bit incompatible while all the rest is fantastic. My _iew, but I know 99% on here will disagree with me, is that it's not worth binning the entire thing because of that one incompatibility.

Some people find themselves here because they don't want an emotional affair, they don't want to sleep with someone at the office christmas party or do anything in any way connected to their real life but there's a part of them they tried to squash for a long time that needs release.

To those who say cheating is never acceptable and couples should just split up, if you had a sister whose husband left her because they weren't having enough sex, I dare say you'd probably hate him almost if not just as much as if he loved her to death but found someone else to have sex with.

I see your point totally , I wish I know about this place back then , I'm no longer in that situation but from past experience I can see how people would cheat rather then chuck the whole relationship down the pan .

lol yep you keep telling yourself that to make you feel better."

I would respect him more for leaving her rather than cheating on her.

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

yeah, people want the relationship, their cake and their end away with strangers....

self absorbed, with no true feelings for the unsuspecting partner.

but thankfully, I am not in that situation so I can only pass judgement on others. That causes them no angst or impact.

crack on....

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By *rightonsteveMan  over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

To all you lucky couples who swing together - you are so incredibly fortunate. And thanks

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No sex in my relationship for years. And we have never discussed it, nor will we

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Let me chuck this out there , as this happened to me , what if your in love with someone who is just not horny , just don't have that fire and passion for sex or is a prood to an extent ?? But you love being with them everything else is perfect , then what ? ?????

Then you might find yourself somewhere like this as its the least worst option. Sometimes one aspect of people's lives are a bit incompatible while all the rest is fantastic. My _iew, but I know 99% on here will disagree with me, is that it's not worth binning the entire thing because of that one incompatibility.

Some people find themselves here because they don't want an emotional affair, they don't want to sleep with someone at the office christmas party or do anything in any way connected to their real life but there's a part of them they tried to squash for a long time that needs release.

To those who say cheating is never acceptable and couples should just split up, if you had a sister whose husband left her because they weren't having enough sex, I dare say you'd probably hate him almost if not just as much as if he loved her to death but found someone else to have sex with.

I see your point totally , I wish I know about this place back then , I'm no longer in that situation but from past experience I can see how people would cheat rather then chuck the whole relationship down the pan .

lol yep you keep telling yourself that to make you feel better."

Nope, it doesn't make me feel better it's just the way it is. I know my situation and my relationship - you know nothing about me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"No sex in my relationship for years. And we have never discussed it, nor will we "
Can I ask why you cant chat to the man your married to.? You must be happy in other ways to stay . x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"No sex in my relationship for years. And we have never discussed it, nor will we Can I ask why you cant chat to the man your married to.? You must be happy in other ways to stay . x"

I'm happy to tell you anything you like. We talk but not about lack of sex. We have been together a long time and probably stuck in a big rut. I can't leave as family would not understand and wages do not allow for renting a place

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"88 minutes"

that's an amazing answer, top bloke!!! haha I dunno why I found that so funny, but I take my hat off to you squire, brilliant, proper tickled me

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By *innamon!Woman  over a year ago

no matter


"No sex in my relationship for years. And we have never discussed it, nor will we "

**********

Much the same..

have never discussed it. Just knock along as we are.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"No sex in my relationship for years. And we have never discussed it, nor will we Can I ask why you cant chat to the man your married to.? You must be happy in other ways to stay . x

I'm happy to tell you anything you like. We talk but not about lack of sex. We have been together a long time and probably stuck in a big rut. I can't leave as family would not understand and wages do not allow for renting a place "

I know sex is not everything. Some here could not live with out it I feel .. But if life is good and you get on and care for each other and the family you have still a lot going for you two. Do you see yourself getting old together?. I love doing loads of things not just having sex with strangers that can be so cold and boring at times so I don't meet a lot.

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By *dventuroususCouple  over a year ago

sunderland


"Let me chuck this out there , as this happened to me , what if your in love with someone who is just not horny , just don't have that fire and passion for sex or is a prood to an extent ?? But you love being with them everything else is perfect , then what ? ?????

Then you might find yourself somewhere like this as its the least worst option. Sometimes one aspect of people's lives are a bit incompatible while all the rest is fantastic. My _iew, but I know 99% on here will disagree with me, is that it's not worth binning the entire thing because of that one incompatibility.

Some people find themselves here because they don't want an emotional affair, they don't want to sleep with someone at the office christmas party or do anything in any way connected to their real life but there's a part of them they tried to squash for a long time that needs release.

To those who say cheating is never acceptable and couples should just split up, if you had a sister whose husband left her because they weren't having enough sex, I dare say you'd probably hate him almost if not just as much as if he loved her to death but found someone else to have sex with.

I see your point totally , I wish I know about this place back then , I'm no longer in that situation but from past experience I can see how people would cheat rather then chuck the whole relationship down the pan .

lol yep you keep telling yourself that to make you feel better.

Nope, it doesn't make me feel better it's just the way it is. I know my situation and my relationship - you know nothing about me. "

1 I wasnt talking to you I quoted another persons comment, and 2, I never claimed to no anything about you or the person I quoted.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Let me chuck this out there , as this happened to me , what if your in love with someone who is just not horny , just don't have that fire and passion for sex or is a prood to an extent ?? But you love being with them everything else is perfect , then what ? ?????

Then you might find yourself somewhere like this as its the least worst option. Sometimes one aspect of people's lives are a bit incompatible while all the rest is fantastic. My _iew, but I know 99% on here will disagree with me, is that it's not worth binning the entire thing because of that one incompatibility.

Some people find themselves here because they don't want an emotional affair, they don't want to sleep with someone at the office christmas party or do anything in any way connected to their real life but there's a part of them they tried to squash for a long time that needs release.

To those who say cheating is never acceptable and couples should just split up, if you had a sister whose husband left her because they weren't having enough sex, I dare say you'd probably hate him almost if not just as much as if he loved her to death but found someone else to have sex with.

I see your point totally , I wish I know about this place back then , I'm no longer in that situation but from past experience I can see how people would cheat rather then chuck the whole relationship down the pan .

lol yep you keep telling yourself that to make you feel better.

Nope, it doesn't make me feel better it's just the way it is. I know my situation and my relationship - you know nothing about me.

1 I wasnt talking to you I quoted another persons comment, and 2, I never claimed to no anything about you or the person I quoted."

Fair enough. I was obviously confused, because you quoted a post from a person who isn't in a relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Let me chuck this out there , as this happened to me , what if your in love with someone who is just not horny , just don't have that fire and passion for sex or is a prood to an extent ?? But you love being with them everything else is perfect , then what ? ?????

You discuss and then you masturbate. You don't lie to them."

Discussion is good but when it does not lead to an amicable solution it can make matters worse.

Masturbation does not relieve the powerful need to feel physically wanted or for the comfort of a hug after a mutual orgasm. It can make it worse as you can feel alone, abandoned and isolated if you have a partner with whom you should share sex.

Few people stray simply because they need sexual relief. They stray to feel desired, wanted and valued as an individual as well. The same reason monogamous married people continue to spend so much on body improvements and fancy clothes.

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By *erseyridersCouple  over a year ago

wallasey

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"No sex in my relationship for years. And we have never discussed it, nor will we Can I ask why you cant chat to the man your married to.? You must be happy in other ways to stay . x

I'm happy to tell you anything you like. We talk but not about lack of sex. We have been together a long time and probably stuck in a big rut. I can't leave as family would not understand and wages do not allow for renting a place I know sex is not everything. Some here could not live with out it I feel .. But if life is good and you get on and care for each other and the family you have still a lot going for you two. Do you see yourself getting old together?. I love doing loads of things not just having sex with strangers that can be so cold and boring at times so I don't meet a lot. "

Life is average. elderly parents to do things for and the spare time we have is taken up with the fatherinlaw mainly and keeping our house up together. Re getting old together and this will sound terrible but I don't know if it's something I could cope with

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman  over a year ago

Glenrothes

It happened to me. My ex just stopped with the physical side and despite talking things through, nothing changed. After 5 years and other issues, I finally called a halt and ended things. It was only then that's started seeing others.

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By *dventuroususCouple  over a year ago

sunderland


"Let me chuck this out there , as this happened to me , what if your in love with someone who is just not horny , just don't have that fire and passion for sex or is a prood to an extent ?? But you love being with them everything else is perfect , then what ? ?????

You discuss and then you masturbate. You don't lie to them.

Discussion is good but when it does not lead to an amicable solution it can make matters worse.

Masturbation does not relieve the powerful need to feel physically wanted or for the comfort of a hug after a mutual orgasm. It can make it worse as you can feel alone, abandoned and isolated if you have a partner with whom you should share sex.

Few people stray simply because they need sexual relief. They stray to feel desired, wanted and valued as an individual as well. The same reason monogamous married people continue to spend so much on body improvements and fancy clothes."

if its that bad the relationship is over, be grown up, be strong, end it, dont go hurting people you profess to love.

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By *dventuroususCouple  over a year ago

sunderland


"It happened to me. My ex just stopped with the physical side and despite talking things through, nothing changed. After 5 years and other issues, I finally called a halt and ended things. It was only then that's started seeing others. "

and that is the correct way to go about it, cheating not needed.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It happened to me. My ex just stopped with the physical side and despite talking things through, nothing changed. After 5 years and other issues, I finally called a halt and ended things. It was only then that's started seeing others. "

I had it too

My ex refused to have sex with me even though he was having it with others, we agreed on a open relationship where we both met others, after a while he left me for someone else

I can honestly say I never cheated, I never had sex with anyone else until we agreed to an open relationship, looking back I wish I had though if I'm honest

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By *traight forward OP   Man  over a year ago

doncaster


"Let me chuck this out there , as this happened to me , what if your in love with someone who is just not horny , just don't have that fire and passion for sex or is a prood to an extent ?? But you love being with them everything else is perfect , then what ? ?????

You discuss and then you masturbate. You don't lie to them.

Discussion is good but when it does not lead to an amicable solution it can make matters worse.

Masturbation does not relieve the powerful need to feel physically wanted or for the comfort of a hug after a mutual orgasm. It can make it worse as you can feel alone, abandoned and isolated if you have a partner with whom you should share sex.

Few people stray simply because they need sexual relief. They stray to feel desired, wanted and valued as an individual as well. The same reason monogamous married people continue to spend so much on body improvements and fancy clothes."

i agree. Its not about needing sexual relief. You can have sex with someone then think why the fuck. You can pay a prostitute for sex. I want to have sex with mrs cause i love her, want to be close to her, want to feel desired as i make her feel (i hope). Its not sex with your partner its making love. Passion, desire,lust, love. the feelings after youve made love when your in each others arms

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Let me chuck this out there , as this happened to me , what if your in love with someone who is just not horny , just don't have that fire and passion for sex or is a prood to an extent ?? But you love being with them everything else is perfect , then what ? ?????

You discuss and then you masturbate. You don't lie to them.

Discussion is good but when it does not lead to an amicable solution it can make matters worse.

Masturbation does not relieve the powerful need to feel physically wanted or for the comfort of a hug after a mutual orgasm. It can make it worse as you can feel alone, abandoned and isolated if you have a partner with whom you should share sex.

Few people stray simply because they need sexual relief. They stray to feel desired, wanted and valued as an individual as well. The same reason monogamous married people continue to spend so much on body improvements and fancy clothes.

i agree. Its not about needing sexual relief. You can have sex with someone then think why the fuck. You can pay a prostitute for sex. I want to have sex with mrs cause i love her, want to be close to her, want to feel desired as i make her feel (i hope). Its not sex with your partner its making love. Passion, desire,lust, love. the feelings after youve made love when your in each others arms"

Our sentiments exactly. X

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