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my fanny, I need help please
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I'm a bit concerned about the size of my fanny, I think to be fair to guys I should mention the size of it on my profile. However, I'm not sure if its small, medium, large or well endowed.
I've never sneakily tried to measure myself up against the women in the changing room.
What do you suggest would be the best way of measuring it? I don't want to boast but I don't want to under sell myself either so I'd like to measure it as accurately as I can.
Signed
Worried of rutland |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Dear Worried of Rutland,
have you tried measuring with with different sized deodorants? Perhaps start with the little travel size and work up to the Lynx can. If the Lynx can is too small then you have to class yourself as "room for plenty more".
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Dear Worried of Rutland,
have you tried measuring with with different sized deodorants? Perhaps start with the little travel size and work up to the Lynx can. If the Lynx can is too small then you have to class yourself as "room for plenty more".
"
But Lynx comes in travel and a variety of other sizes!
Could you not just squirt some expanding foam up there, wait for it to set - and then whip it out and measure with a tape measure? 
*although not a male tape measure obviously - they're unreliable! 
A |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Dear Worried of Rutland,
have you tried measuring with with different sized deodorants? Perhaps start with the little travel size and work up to the Lynx can. If the Lynx can is too small then you have to class yourself as "room for plenty more".
But Lynx comes in travel and a variety of other sizes!
Could you not just squirt some expanding foam up there, wait for it to set - and then whip it out and measure with a tape measure?
*although not a male tape measure obviously - they're unreliable!
A"
I have been reminded of the expanding cock dildos. That might be safer than the expanding foam. I wouldn't want anyone using No More Nails by mistake.
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What about snooker balls?? If you can get a perfect 147 I will be impressed. Neither that or grapes. Just tell us the number of grapes you can fit in, you could then go one of two ways. A full on pelvic floor movement to crush your own wine, or of course the much more impressive how far can you fire the grape with a quick squeeze of the muscles. As you can see my solution is both practical and beneficial to your health  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get a butternut squash and insert. Black marker pen and mark the point, measure butternut squash with a tape measure! Hey presto a fanny measuring device  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm a bit concerned about the size of my fanny, I think to be fair to guys I should mention the size of it on my profile. However, I'm not sure if its small, medium, large or well endowed.
I've never sneakily tried to measure myself up against the women in the changing room.
What do you suggest would be the best way of measuring it? I don't want to boast but I don't want to under sell myself either so I'd like to measure it as accurately as I can.
Signed
Worried of rutland"
If you,ve got any doubts go and see your doctor..  .. but seriously I,m sure They won,t mind..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dear Worried of Rutland,
have you tried measuring with with different sized deodorants? Perhaps start with the little travel size and work up to the Lynx can. If the Lynx can is too small then you have to class yourself as "room for plenty more".
But Lynx comes in travel and a variety of other sizes!
Could you not just squirt some expanding foam up there, wait for it to set - and then whip it out and measure with a tape measure?
*although not a male tape measure obviously - they're unreliable!
A
I have been reminded of the expanding cock dildos. That might be safer than the expanding foam. I wouldn't want anyone using No More Nails by mistake.
"
Pmsl can you imagine explaining that in A&E |
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By *oconut2Woman
over a year ago
Nether regions of the back of beyond |
"Dear Worried of Rutland,
have you tried measuring with with different sized deodorants? Perhaps start with the little travel size and work up to the Lynx can. If the Lynx can is too small then you have to class yourself as "room for plenty more".
"
Pmsl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm a bit concerned about the size of my fanny, I think to be fair to guys I should mention the size of it on my profile. However, I'm not sure if its small, medium, large or well endowed.
I've never sneakily tried to measure myself up against the women in the changing room.
What do you suggest would be the best way of measuring it? I don't want to boast but I don't want to under sell myself either so I'd like to measure it as accurately as I can.
Signed
Worried of rutland"
aaaw....i can understand you but don't let that affect your confidence. To avoid any errors while taking your measurement i advise you get a set of digital vernier caliper from any online store and you will be glad you did and your confidence will be restored  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Dear Worried of Rutland,
have you tried measuring with with different sized deodorants? Perhaps start with the little travel size and work up to the Lynx can. If the Lynx can is too small then you have to class yourself as "room for plenty more".
"
Funny you should say that...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the OP raises a fair point, why should guys have the monopoly on measuring?
Obviously VWE we all understand
For ladies may I suggest the following gradings based on depth, measured by an approved device such as a Lynx deodorant, sky remote or butternut squash.
VTP - very tight pussy
CAA - cosy and accommodating
LBW - loose but willing
LAB - like a bucket
TARRYW - tie a rope round your waist
SASP - send a search party
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You try the by volume test ,
You will need a liquid of your choice, water,orange juice or maybe something stronger
A measuring jug (a litre jug will suffice)
A very obliging friend
One rubber mat
Firstly lay on your back with your feet placed either side of head ,i'am sure you know the position
Next with your foo foo upper most get your friend to fill pour said liquid carefully into your fanny
Take care not spill any as this will give a false result
Once you are full up your friend can note how much liquid is left
So as you know how much liquid you started with and how much you have left this will give you an amount and hence size of said foo
I think I've thought about this to much
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You try the by volume test ,
You will need a liquid of your choice, water,orange juice or maybe something stronger
A measuring jug (a litre jug will suffice)
A very obliging friend
One rubber mat
Firstly lay on your back with your feet placed either side of head ,i'am sure you know the position
And if emptying causes a tidal wave then ....swim !
Next with your foo foo upper most get your friend to fill pour said liquid carefully into your fanny
Take care not spill any as this will give a false result
Once you are full up your friend can note how much liquid is left
So as you know how much liquid you started with and how much you have left this will give you an amount and hence size of said foo
I think I've thought about this to much
"
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"You try the by volume test ,
You will need a liquid of your choice, water,orange juice or maybe something stronger
A measuring jug (a litre jug will suffice)
A very obliging friend
One rubber mat
Firstly lay on your back with your feet placed either side of head ,i'am sure you know the position
Next with your foo foo upper most get your friend to fill pour said liquid carefully into your fanny
Take care not spill any as this will give a false result
Once you are full up your friend can note how much liquid is left
So as you know how much liquid you started with and how much you have left this will give you an amount and hence size of said foo
I think I've thought about this to much
"
I'm worried I might drown if I did that - there's nothing to stop me being filled.
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Dear Worried,
Don't fret about it. Vaginas come in a surprisingly wide array of sizes. At one end of the scale, some are so small and tight that intercourse is like trying to shove a marshmallow into a Yale lock.
As we progress through, the width (flap to flap), the height (clit to chinrest) and the inner depth all increase until we have gone from Yale lock to airport wind sock.
Provided a) your partners penis doesn't look like a battered bunch of celery after unsuccessfully attempting entry (Yale)
or b) you don't keep getting visits from the local Gliding Club, you are probably perfectly normal and have nothing to worry about.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well since you are a gusher then maybe use that to size yourself up?
When you gush is it like:-
a trip to Yellowstone park?
the Trevi fountain?
the Diana memorial fountain?
Manneken Pis in Brussels?
The 4th midnight outing to the toilet of a semi-conscience 70 year old man?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You try the by volume test ,
You will need a liquid of your choice, water,orange juice or maybe something stronger
A measuring jug (a litre jug will suffice)
A very obliging friend
One rubber mat
Firstly lay on your back with your feet placed either side of head ,i'am sure you know the position
Next with your foo foo upper most get your friend to fill pour said liquid carefully into your fanny
Take care not spill any as this will give a false result
Once you are full up your friend can note how much liquid is left
So as you know how much liquid you started with and how much you have left this will give you an amount and hence size of said foo
I think I've thought about this to much
I'm worried I might drown if I did that - there's nothing to stop me being filled.
"
How's your breathe holding ?  |
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I worked with a girl who introduced me to her friend as '3 cocks', a beautiful girl with arguably a rather large mouth, a gift she discovered on an 18-30s holiday.
Could this be a simple way to gauge the capacity of your woohoo? At least until the European Union have agreed on an international standard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The karma sutra identifies three different vaginas by size:
Deer (small)
Mare (medium)
Elephant (large)
So, are you saying you may have an Elephant vagina, if so then the karma sutra would recommend that you match with a man with a Horse (large) penis.
xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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id get a large mirror.put it on the floor...straddle it..if you get vertigo, then its too big..
otherwise i would watch as much porn as possible until you have thoroughly convinced yourself you are utterly and completely inadequate! |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"The karma sutra identifies three different vaginas by size:
Deer (small)
Mare (medium)
Elephant (large)
So, are you saying you may have an Elephant vagina, if so then the karma sutra would recommend that you match with a man with a Horse (large) penis.
xx
"
I don't think you can mix and elephant and a horse together. That's just sounds wrong.
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"Well I have an elephant fanny then
Grey and wrinkly?
I'm 35 not bloody 85
Baby elephants are grey and wrinkly at birth.
I shall remember that me lovely has it got big flappy ears "
My fanny has its a big laberia or whatever it is...I'm going to rename my. Pussy nelly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So do we measure our flange by the amount of a sky remote we can fit in there? "
Personally I think the ability to turn over to sky sports one by performing pelvic floors is far more impressive than size |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So do we measure our flange by the amount of a sky remote we can fit in there?
Its when you can fit the Sky Box in that you're in trouble "
Just think You,ll be on discovery channel.. |
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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago
Dorset |
"Well if you get someone to place their ear next to it and they can hear the seaside, I'd say it's big
I tried that with a girl once, couldn't hear the sea but found some crabs "
and smell the sea ...lol |
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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago
Dorset |
"Well if you get someone to place their ear next to it and they can hear the seaside, I'd say it's big
I tried that with a girl once, couldn't hear the sea but found some crabs "
and could smell the sea ...lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was thinking about getting a gas lamp and some rope and sending a man in to do the measuring"
Maybe try dropping a coin in there like a well and see if it touches the side's
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a most accommodating vagina. It can go from a mousehole,to accommodate the less than average girth,to letterbox,for the more blessed of penises. I had the pleasure of a rather girthy man not a million miles from this thread,and although it was a bit of a tight squeeze we managed just fine. Took a few days to get the feeling back down there but no lasting side effects |
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"Been giggling ova this thread so much. When i was preg the doc was having a rumage cos i was bleeding n he say gosh you have a rather long vagina  "
Should we start a club for women with long vaginas? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been giggling ova this thread so much. When i was preg the doc was having a rumage cos i was bleeding n he say gosh you have a rather long vagina
Should we start a club for women with long vaginas? "
Hehehe  |
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By *he tactile technicianMan
over a year ago
the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands |
invite your solid fuel supplier around; formerly called the coal man, when he presents you with a chitty saying he's stuck 50 50cwt sacks of smokeless in your bunker, you'll know he's a lieing thieving bugger! |
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I've thought of a new venture having flange gloves a bit like the gloves that vets use when shoving their hand up a cows arse. We can have measurements on the glove such as oh she has a tight short pussy to she has a fanny like the never ending black hole |
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By *he tactile technicianMan
over a year ago
the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands |
Just found the solution to your dilemma, concerned of Meer Cat Manor, a boat fender and a fender pump.
1. remove the plug so that most of the air escapes and the fender is more pliable
2. Insert fender with vent facing outwards
3. Fit fender pump to vent
4. activate pump till fender fits snugly
5. Bear down on those hips baby and schuck the pea out of its pod
6. Measure Fender, and cross reference against volume calculation chart to arrive at the literage of your internals.
There! simple, now can I lend you a fender and a pump?
 |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
I have a built in fanny measuring device accurate to =/- millimetre.
Please be aware that for accurate full measurements the procedure could take three or four hours as a fanny has to be measured in both hot and cold state.
All tests will be repeated multiple times to ensure consistency of results.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think the OP raises a fair point, why should guys have the monopoly on measuring?
Obviously VWE we all understand
For ladies may I suggest the following gradings based on depth, measured by an approved device such as a Lynx deodorant, sky remote or butternut squash.
VTP - very tight pussy
CAA - cosy and accommodating
LBW - loose but willing
LAB - like a bucket
TARRYW - tie a rope round your waist
SASP - send a search party
"
lol. All replys so funny. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we are really enjoying this thread.... must admit at one point I thought CAA was Civil Airports Authority..... referring to the room in an Aircraft hanger!!!!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Worried of Rutland,
have you tried measuring with with different sized deodorants? Perhaps start with the little travel size and work up to the Lynx can. If the Lynx can is too small then you have to class yourself as "room for plenty more".
But Lynx comes in travel and a variety of other sizes!
Could you not just squirt some expanding foam up there, wait for it to set - and then whip it out and measure with a tape measure?
*although not a male tape measure obviously - they're unreliable!
A
I have been reminded of the expanding cock dildos. That might be safer than the expanding foam. I wouldn't want anyone using No More Nails by mistake.
"
|
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Get yourself to the supermarket, you can classify yourself as: radish, carrot, courgette, aubergine, butternut squash or watermelon!
The larger stores even have changing rooms you can use.
(Note to self: remember to wash veg before use)
Mrs DDC |
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"I'm a bit concerned about the size of my fanny, I think to be fair to guys I should mention the size of it on my profile. However, I'm not sure if its small, medium, large or well endowed.
I've never sneakily tried to measure myself up against the women in the changing room.
What do you suggest would be the best way of measuring it? I don't want to boast but I don't want to under sell myself either so I'd like to measure it as accurately as I can.
Signed
Worried of rutland"
take the mirror off the wall, put it on the floor.
Strip off and squat over it so you can have a good look.
If the hubby comes in and rugby tackles you trying to save your life from falling in, then your fanny is too fat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Get yourself to the supermarket, you can classify yourself as: radish, carrot, courgette, aubergine, butternut squash or watermelon!
The larger stores even have changing rooms you can use.
(Note to self: remember to wash veg before use)
Mrs DDC"
Yes we don,t want any Soil ing.. |
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