I've had my fair share of heart ache, confusion and manipulation. But why is it that we, the female population, feel the need to get our hearts broken again and again, and allow ourselves to enjoy the lust of one night stands, in hope of finding the elusive 'one'?
I have a biased opinion on sex and love, but I have a theory that the guys we sleep with, and they guys we fall in love with are very different.
When you're looking for a guy to bang for the night, you look for only a few things. He:
1) Should be hot
2) Should have a cute face (although certain sex positions could cure the need to look at his face)
3) Needs to smell good
Now all of these points are debatable, interchangeable and compromisable, but basically you're allowed to be shallow for a one night stand. And it doesn't even matter if he is a complete arse hole, because it's just sex.
On the other hand, looking for a boyfriend is a little more complicated.
It isn't quite as necessary for him to be super hot, because if he was, and you're the jealous type (which face it, most of us are) then you'll be constantly worried about other girls who may or may not be better than you.
Yes he should have a cute face, because you'll be looking at it when you wake up in the morning, and yes he should smell good, because nobody wants a stinky boyfriend. But that's just the tip of the iceberg.
When it comes to looking for a boyfriend, you have to think about whether he is the right guy for you.
Guys are complicated. Most just want sex, but others are more complex. You need to think about whether he understands your sense of humour, and whether you understand his. Is he romantic enough? Or too romantic? Does he treat you right? Is he understanding of your moods? Would your friends and family approve of him?
The list is endless.
Finding a man to suit your needs is hard enough as it is, but a relationship is a two way street! You have to be capable of meeting his needs too. Men are emotional creatures with confidence issues and deep rooted jealousy. They cover this up by being outspoken and showing off. Those 'players' that you see whilst out clubbing, yeah they're the worst. Bed hopping, notches on bed posts, all done because they cannot face the emotional turmoil that comes with a relationship.
When you find a man who pleases you in bed and out, it's difficult to not have to compromise on other things. No man is perfect in every way.
Dating is hard work. I said before that we enjoy one night stands, because we have physical needs. But dating is harder. So you go for dinner, or to a movie or for a walk in the park. Maybe he's great fun to be around, but not boyfriend material. How many dates do you go on before you call time and move on?
Any relationship takes work. You may enjoy yourself whilst dating but you can't meet 'the one' if you're busy messing around with someone else. But at the same time you can't decide your feelings for somebody after just a couple of dates. My rule is eight weeks. Eight weeks to decide if the relationship is heading in the direction you want it to. If after eight weeks there's no spark, no heart wrenching feelings, move on. You only live once, so you shouldn't waste your time with one person if it's not working out how you'd like.
-Anonymous |
about how wonderful he was in general
Confidence is good but you can over do the self praise
Total turn off to the point of god your a boring twat 
