FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > The art of conversation
The art of conversation
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What do you think makes for a good face to face exchange? Many a time I've read on here that some people seem to be good at holding one from behind their keyboard, then have little or nothing to say face to face, becoming shy and awkward, so my question is, how many times have you found yourself with someone where conversation flowed freely, you always felt like you had something else to say, and what was it that made the exchange so natural and enjoyable? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been lucky where meets I've had conversation has flowed quite easily sometimes even through nerves people can talk more than ever! One meet I had I found I did all the talking he was awkward, finished his coffee then politely said we'll it was lovely to meet you I best get on and showed him the door x |
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I met a guy for a drink at 6pm last night, eventually looked at my watch and realised it was 10pm!
Spent about an hour and a half talking about fab and our interests, the rest of the time geeking out! 
I have had one or two meets where conversation was a bit slow to start, but I can't shut up so always find something to say, lol
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I can usually fill in if a meet is quiet, but I tend to meet the more communicative people anyway. I once had a vanilla lunch date that carried on 'til closing time at 11.30pm 'cos we just could not bear to stop the conversation!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm very good at conversation I can talk for England I have met a few people where they didn't seem so good at it so I've had to babble on and carry the conversation for both of us to stop that awkward silence, the only thing I can't cope with is one word replies, people just saying yes or no to everything you say, I give up with those people, even my conversational still aren't that good, generally though I find it OK, I find of your chatting most will talk about and conversations just flows, there's always something to talk about |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I met a guy for a drink at 6pm last night, eventually looked at my watch and realised it was 10pm!"
I like it when a conversation flows that way, where you have so much in common with someone that you want to just upturn your box of stories and share them all, where everything they say makes you want to probe deeper. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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and like wise ive encountered people who are great with typing words but when it comes to conversation on the phone its full of those awkward pauses and silences..
if i cant communicate and feel a 'flow' via the phone there wont be an actual meet, even a social one |
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I send short precise replies and have been told a few times that the guys thought I would be a bit sharp and standoffish where as I am far from that, I am quite chilled and calm and enjoy a good laugh and cheeky banter.
I think the people I have chosen to meet are the ones that I know we can have that sort of conversation with, I also like quick minds and keen intelligence, I recently spent a great night just chatting away and putting the world to rights, awkward silences can be filled with a kiss if both parties are willing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can talk about anything and everything! A very good friend on here can have 5hr phone conversations with me!
I can get from one very normal topic to something completely random within minutes, its fantastic!
I love being able to talk to a person so much so easily that im genuinely gutted when it has to end |
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"I met a guy for a drink at 6pm last night, eventually looked at my watch and realised it was 10pm!
I like it when a conversation flows that way, where you have so much in common with someone that you want to just upturn your box of stories and share them all, where everything they say makes you want to probe deeper."
Exactly like that! As soon as I mentioned Firefly, he lit up |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"and like wise ive encountered people who are great with typing words but when it comes to conversation on the phone its full of those awkward pauses and silences.."
Hey I tried my best (sniff)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"and like wise ive encountered people who are great with typing words but when it comes to conversation on the phone its full of those awkward pauses and silences..
Hey I tried my best (sniff) "
lol wasnt on about you ya daft bat haha x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm naturally fairly quiet, I can certainly hold a conversation with the right person, but I don't talk just for the sake of it. Someone told me recently I give off indifference  |
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I've not had any meets where conversation hasn't flowed apart from one guy who immediately felt the need to go into role play and extreme verbal. It was finished quickly.
There generally needs to be good sensitivity all around, so all know when to speak, be quiet and listen and move on to other topics. Much negativity or a bitchfest would kill it for me.
It does also depend on where you're at in the meet process - is it a social check-up or the play day. Keeping things light is generally important, it doesn't mean too much is off bounds, but intensity can be reserved for the sexual interaction, rather than a heated debate.
If no one has anything to prove, apart from their personality and reliability, then it should flow well.
If you've outlined your expectations in advance, then this supports a good rounding off and closure.
I had an afternoon with a few socials. One guy arrived for our coffee and announced which club we'd go to that night - we met about 1pm - and came with an overnight bag. This deamspite arranging to meet only for a drink and chat. It manifested into alternative topics that id not envisaged. We didn't meet again as I perceived him as unlistening, amongst general unsuitability.
It's good that most things can be aired and you give others space for that. Talk of romance, holidays together in the near future, how lovely it will be to get sex on tap when they've moved in and their imminent eviction for rent arrears or girlfriend kicking them out, due to a little violence,can all result in little sharp intakes of breath on that first social. (They've happened).
I've had neighbors escort me to meets and retrieve me after. But I've carried a smile most of the time. And I'd say that your smiles and possibly your joint laughter, as you round things off, keep all spirits high.
If pushed, stick to hairdressers topics of chat, weekend plans, holidays etc. Don't always be uncomfortable with silence, I can readily fill it, but it can help the others feel able to introduce something, even if its how their taxidermy skills would work wonders on your body. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm naturally fairly quiet, I can certainly hold a conversation with the right person, but I don't talk just for the sake of it. Someone told me recently I give off indifference "
That can be good or bad all depends on the situation  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am a far better conversationalist in person, especially when it comes to the whole swinging messages. I would much prefer to talk in person that way you get a better feel for the person your chatting with. Just typing dont give any expression and can frequently read completely the opposite of what was intended. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Conversation shouldn't be an Art...
If you HAVE to make it an "art form" you're talking to the wrong person (s)"
So you're saying that if someone's a shit conversationalist it's the other persons fault? |
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"I'm very good at conversation I can talk for England I have met a few people where they didn't seem so good at it so I've had to babble on and carry the conversation for both of us to stop that awkward silence, the only thing I can't cope with is one word replies, people just saying yes or no to everything you say, I give up with those people, even my conversational still aren't that good, generally though I find it OK, I find of your chatting most will talk about and conversations just flows, there's always something to talk about "
True !! |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I'm fairly shy in person but if I've enjoyed chatting to someone in messages I don't see talking to them in real life as that much different. And with people I do like spending time with I find moments of silence pretty comfortable.
That said, I will still babble for at least the first five minutes of a first face to face since that's how I deal with nerves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Conversation shouldn't be an Art...
If you HAVE to make it an "art form" you're talking to the wrong person (s)
So you're saying that if someone's a shit conversationalist it's the other persons fault?"
No.
I'm saying it takes 2 to make a shit conversation.
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
When I get going any donkeys near by are in danger of losing their hind legs.
When I met solo I often used up too much of 'meet time' chinwagging - but there's nothing wrong with that.
A |
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"Conversation shouldn't be an Art...
If you HAVE to make it an "art form" you're talking to the wrong person (s)
So you're saying that if someone's a shit conversationalist it's the other persons fault?
No.
I'm saying it takes 2 to make a shit conversation.
"
I find the whole conversation in text or chat is a little false and stilted. Surprisingly, although you have plenty of time to think about what to say, I sometimes find it a struggle to say anything really meaningful in text chat.
On the other hand, in normal fact-to-face chat, I seldom have too much difficulty finding something to say; although I did have one meet where I had to struggle to keep the conversation going through a stream of one word replies. Eventually figured she probably didn't really fancy me that much. .
LOL |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I recently had a conversation with a man I had just met on here. It was interesting but my desire for him was addling my brain and I was getting very flustered. That doesn't happen to me usually. We have had some very interesting conversations since,he's an interesting character |
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I enjoy a conversation as much as the next person.
Though on first meet there must be a mutual respect and allowance for nerves, thats just natural.
Though if I feel the other is either interrogating, braging or trying to hard to be clever.. Or indeed being bored by me... I politley try and wind it up and move on.
Fully understand sometimes a pair just will not find a happy wavlength. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I enjoy a conversation as much as the next person.
Though on first meet there must be a mutual respect and allowance for nerves, thats just natural.
Though if I feel the other is either interrogating, braging or trying to hard to be clever.. Or indeed being bored by me... I politley try and wind it up and move on.
Fully understand sometimes a pair just will not find a happy wavlength."
Yes would rather have a fairly quiet person than one who talks complete and utter bull shit all the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im great at conversation through messages but am very shy and self concious in person, its a horrible affliction! Lol. I love meeting chatty people who make it much easier  xx |
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"and like wise ive encountered people who are great with typing words but when it comes to conversation on the phone its full of those awkward pauses and silences.."
It's easy to disguise a 10, 20 or 30 second pause whilst typing something. Keeping an actual face to face conversation flowing can be a daunting task to some folk. You may find that you have something, other than sex, in common, but when you have exhausted that topic, it can sometimes be hard work to find something else that engages both parties to talk about.
As long as it's not politics or religion, I think I can talk about most other subjects, even if I'm just asking questions and letting the other person talk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is usually awkward at first, but speaking to people online and getting to know them a little helps deal with this. Having some common ground as well helps, as it gets a bit boring talking about sex all the time. |
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