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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But natural as in instant chemistry or something that grows with time. Have you ever had love at first sight? "
no not really I think it develops, though I'm sure it does happen  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
A genetic pre-disposition to love? A subtle change in chemistry to help you recognise it? Once found, it develops and matures.
If you have truly loved it never ceases, whatever the future brings. "
u cant deny the chemistry thing it doesnt happen very often... when it does its fab !!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Completely agree with that Mush. I have loved twice in my life, the first as a teenager and the second recently. I've been lucky. Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all so they say! |
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"Completely agree with that Mush. I have loved twice in my life, the first as a teenager and the second recently. I've been lucky. Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all so they say! "
They say good things come in threes  |
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By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"Is it an uncontrolable chemistry or can it be developed and moulded? "
Both happen from what i have seen and some even start as chemistry and develop even further. Saying that 40% of long term relationships fall over at some point so is that due to a bad chemical mix or a poor jelly mould?  |
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By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"I don't believe in love at first sight its mostly a case of lust at first sight
I think love is something that develops over time"
You could be on the nail there, many confuse love with lust and maybe that's why things fail for some when the initial lust fails.
A good relationship i always think is one that matures like a good wine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I met my late partner the first time in person, I already knew him for a couple of years via another internet community.
I was captivated by his presence, and the twinkle in his eyes, and I was besotted.
Luckily, he felt the same.
Sparks flew between us, and we had 4 glorious years together.
Paris was not a romantic city until I went there with him.
We fought like cat and dog, yet we could not live without each other.
We were very in tune with each other's likes and dislikes, and often bought each other small gifts that we knew the other person would want or like.
I never knew love could be so romantic and intense until he walked into my life, and my heart skipped a beat or two.
It was nearly 2 years ago when he died of a boating accident, and I still miss him dearly.
I am resigned to the fact that I may never experience love like this ever again. However, I live in hope!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Oh Pearl I am truly sorry for your loss. You are lucky that that kind of love touched your life even if it was for such a cruelly short time. Those are beautiful words and I'm sure that your memories of him and the love you shared will be with you always.
Big Yorkshire hugs from me xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its late and i'm feeling deep so here goes....
If Love is a Universal emotion, then the pain it often causes (some might say inevitably causes) is equally Universal. Yet, that only begs the more important question, who do we search for Love?
Love is very individual, filtered by our own lives and expectations, but essentially we all want to be Loved.
But to me, in the end, the answer really isn't so complex. Love is about - sharing, sharing the good time with bad times, happy times with sad times.
Many people may never feel love because of the fear of being hurt, but that hurt is nothing compared to the joy and happiness of love can bring.
So never be afriad to take that first step on the road to finding true love and a happiness that we all deserve and need. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its late and i'm feeling deep so here goes....
If Love is a Universal emotion, then the pain it often causes (some might say inevitably causes) is equally Universal. Yet, that only begs the more important question, who do we search for Love?
Love is very individual, filtered by our own lives and expectations, but essentially we all want to be Loved.
But to me, in the end, the answer really isn't so complex. Love is about - sharing, sharing the good time with bad times, happy times with sad times.
Many people may never feel love because of the fear of being hurt, but that hurt is nothing compared to the joy and happiness of love can bring.
So never be afriad to take that first step on the road to finding true love and a happiness that we all deserve and need."
Wow |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I met my late partner the first time in person, I already knew him for a couple of years via another internet community.
I was captivated by his presence, and the twinkle in his eyes, and I was besotted.
Luckily, he felt the same.
Sparks flew between us, and we had 4 glorious years together.
Paris was not a romantic city until I went there with him.
We fought like cat and dog, yet we could not live without each other.
We were very in tune with each other's likes and dislikes, and often bought each other small gifts that we knew the other person would want or like.
I never knew love could be so romantic and intense until he walked into my life, and my heart skipped a beat or two.
It was nearly 2 years ago when he died of a boating accident, and I still miss him dearly.
I am resigned to the fact that I may never experience love like this ever again. However, I live in hope! "
Pearl what a lovely and touching and personal message. I am really sorry for your loss but happy that you were lucky enough to find each other |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I had no idea that posting this thread would stir so many emotions. And there was me thinking you lot only ever thought about sex!
Ultimately I think everyone wants to be loved. I never knew until I felt it that loosing love, however you lost it, meant a physical pain. Not one that can be cured with a band aid or an early night either. However, I still maintain that the 2 men I've loved in my life have made me what I am today. And even though I lost them, I'm still incredibly thankful that they passed by my way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Totally my opinion, i do however think love is over-sold and over-rated.
I love being in love so this is not a negative rant.
I just believe that there are far more important qualities to a relationship, like the will to be with that person, the desire to be with that person and more importantly, the trust and honesty between two people.
love is far too fickle to base a relationship on.
I've woken up with the man of my dreams and sometimes realised i'm a lucky lucky girl, but my love for him was for what he brought to my life, and i've woken up some days and i cant stand the sight of the man that i fell asleep loving.
the point is, there are many qualities that need to come together for love to exist, love on it's own is baseless.
I think that people can meet and immediately sense that a person can be special and feel overwhelmed by the emotion that a person evokes and i believe that the momentum can snowball and become love. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it an uncontrolable chemistry or can it be developed and moulded? "
To me this about sums it up !!
You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
Sam Keenis
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So after reading that I presume you don't believe in love at first sight, but rather that love is a mixed bag of the things you describe. Which I agree with. All of those things equal being in love wouldn't you say?
But how do you know when you're in love? If you can't bear to be without that person? If that person makes you feel complete? Its a bit like describing thin air...you can feel it but can't describe it. Or perhaps there are too many ways to describe it. It means so much to so many.
Is it possible to love without respect? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So after reading that I presume you don't believe in love at first sight, but rather that love is a mixed bag of the things you describe. Which I agree with. All of those things equal being in love wouldn't you say?
But how do you know when you're in love? If you can't bear to be without that person? If that person makes you feel complete? Its a bit like describing thin air...you can feel it but can't describe it. Or perhaps there are too many ways to describe it. It means so much to so many.
Is it possible to love without respect? "
i believe there is something stronger than just lust a first sight, a sixth sense so to speak, but i dont think it's love.
i dont think love can exist without respect.
not being respected by someone is something you allow to happen to you, it's a choice, if you don't insist on respect, you do not respect yourself, therefore you don't love yourself, if you don't love yourself...how can you love someone else? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reading this thread has brought back many memories and emotions.
Love is a feeling, one that cannot be described or defined. It is deep and very very complicated. It is something that you can only understand if you have been in it. It is not something that forms in the brain but comes directly from the heart. When your in love it is uncontrollable, you are willing to do anything for the pleasure of that person and also sacrifice anything. You are willing to take a plunge and do things you have never done before. Love is very powerful. When it hurts there is nothing worse, it can shatter your heart in a million pieces. That can either make you stronger or it could destroy you. Love is everything, Without it there is nothing. Love makes the world go around! 3 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Completely agree with that Mush. I have loved twice in my life, the first as a teenager and the second recently. I've been lucky. Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all so they say! "
I know EXACTLY what you mean there. I've loved as a teenie and now much later as a grown man. They were both different kinds of love and I believe that teenage love is all consuming (in some cases dangerously so) whereas older love is tempered by wisdom.
I'd wouldn't change a thing though and I am who I am today because of how love moulded and changed me... back then, and today. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do believe in love at first sight, I have experienced this, when I met Mrs I was 18 and when I saw her I just new I loved everything about her, everytime we met I felt complete, I could not be happier when with her and 22 years later still feel the same, we still act like love sick teenagers and I wouldn't change it for anything.
Mr xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thanks peeps for your kind words.
It was an honour to have shared those precious 4y with my late partner, and the memories of those happy times will stay with me forever.
I still take my chances in the hope I can find love again, and am prepared to make mistakes.
I would like to believe I have the courage to take chances, and the wisdom to spot and get out of any mistakes I have made promptly. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thats lovely Mr, gives me a warm fuzzy feeling to know that a love like that exists. Hope one day I find a love like that that will stand the test of time! |
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