FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Am I in the wrong.

Am I in the wrong.

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So I Have seen this girl a couple of times (non fabster) when I got a message the Other day where she told me she had received an anonymous message on Facebook saying that I had a number of women on the go. (I should be so lucky) I kind of liked this girl but I have just found out that she never got any sort of message but went through my phone after staying Over one night and saw a message from a girl I met about six months ago. I can't tell her that I know this because her close friend told me, but I am now distancing myself from this girl. I'm not a bell end but to go through someone's phone after such a short time if at all any time surely isn't right.

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By *imply_SensualMan over a year ago

warrington

Easiest answer is not to stress about it and walk away - if there is activity like sneaking peeks at phones and a lot of distrust, why bother?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Set up an access code on your phone.

Avoid the snooper..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

sounds insecure,give her a wide berth,just my opinion op

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By *isstinseltoesWoman over a year ago

Calderdale innit

No i don't think you are wrong,she was obviously insecure but that doesn't excuse going through your phone .She should have asked you outright if she worried as now you have lost some respect for her.Good luck with it all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I totally agree with you, makes you wonder if she's been through anything else behind your back....

And then to lie about it too tut tut

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't think it's ever right to go through someone's phone. I've stopped dating people for far less

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So I Have seen this girl a couple of times (non fabster) when I got a message the Other day where she told me she had received an anonymous message on Facebook saying that I had a number of women on the go. (I should be so lucky) I kind of liked this girl but I have just found out that she never got any sort of message but went through my phone after staying Over one night and saw a message from a girl I met about six months ago. I can't tell her that I know this because her close friend told me, but I am now distancing myself from this girl. I'm not a bell end but to go through someone's phone after such a short time if at all any time surely isn't right. "

Bunny boiler Alert stay well away!!

If she is going through you'r phone as a stranger then just imagine how insecure she will be after going out for a few months.

I would have had a right go at her for looking through my oersonal messeges.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No it's not right at all...going through someone's phone is never good.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Distance yourself and send her an application form for GCHQ or tickets to Bletchely Park.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Give her the boot big style. I would never look through anyone's phone including hubbys and he wouldn't go through mine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not a good start in a relationship. Ive been there and put up with it for 3 years. It only gets worse. Cut your losses and find someone that you can develop trust with or someone that accepts you have a past. Oh and delete old messages lol

Good luck mate

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Definitely think it's not good that she's been through your phone, would be a red flag for me personally and it's especially odd she didn't even ask you face to face. Don't think you're in the wrong here at all. T x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reading this I see two problems

Firstly she went though your phone

Secondly she has lied to you

Both show she has no respect for you

Sorry but I see the making of a bunny boiler I'd quit now before you get in to deep, if she's like this now what will she be like in a years time

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes its crazy!

Haha did she find the film of you shagging that lady?

She may have even checked internet history and come across this and kinda put two and two together!

But regardless to say it was a facebook message is just wrong!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Walk away, trust is one of the ingredients that make a relationship. Without it, there isn't a relationship.

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By *reelove1969Couple over a year ago

bristol

knock it on the head !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP if you cant trust there is no point maybe go with gut feeling...... as it will be on your mind when meeting her again ......... so if you pick too ask her why ? and say it how it is get it off your chest .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Cheers you fab lot. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't over reacting. Her loss.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Meet her dishonesty with absolute truth, tell her to stay out of your phone and that you are meeting others from here, she may join you in swinging, or run to the hills screaming at her friend.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Cheers you fab lot. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't over reacting. Her loss. "

Have been in the exact same situation with an ex who always spied on my phone, hated that I had female friends and thought I was boning them all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"OP if you cant trust there is no point maybe go with gut feeling...... as it will be on your mind when meeting her again ......... so if you pick too ask her why ? and say it how it is get it off your chest ."

I can't really confront her with the facts because a close mutual friend let the cat out of the bag. If it's one thing I am it's loyal and when someone asks me to keep mum I will. I'm just going to distance myself from this clearly troubled girl and let her down as gently as I can, even though I feel like giving her both barrels.

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Snooping and lying, particularly so early on, do not make a good foundation for a relationship. She sounds bonkers and best avoided.

It is, indeed, her loss.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well its not right to do this , Maybe she liked you a lot and her way of cheeking if your a player or not ... Thing is what other things could she be doing looking at your letters ... finding stuff to stork you if you let her down . See you don't know her that well .. I am sure it will not come to that but you just never know and you need to feel safe.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Does she know your a swinger and meet others for casual sex? or did she think it was an exclusive thing you have going?

not excusing the snooping behaviour though, was bad of her

but if she believed it was exclusive and you have had meets then at least her hunch was correct

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

I think you've had a lucky escape if she's so insecure as to be going through your phone this early in the relationship, but to be honest no one should be going through anyone's phone no matter how long you've been together.

Makes you wonder what else she's been sneaking about doing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wow! If she's that insecure after such a short time and so devious as to look through your phone and on top of it all she then makes a story to question you?

What a shame

but I agree you are not over reacting, I'd be pissed off if Hubbie went through my phone and that's after 18 years together xx

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Tell her you got an anonymous message on Facebook telling you she's been snooping on your 'phone and lying to you

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By *ipsTeaserCouple over a year ago

here and there, thereabouts

I think for her to be searching your phone is indicative of some trust issues and I think you'd have to go forward with any 'relationship' with her knowing that you have that to deal with. I guess the question you have to ask is how much you like her?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Does she know your a swinger and meet others for casual sex? or did she think it was an exclusive thing you have going?

not excusing the snooping behaviour though, was bad of her

but if she believed it was exclusive and you have had meets then at least her hunch was correct "

no not at all, I met this girl new years eve after having a six month break from fab due to work. Even still I am single hence the reason I don't need a lock on my phone. I can't help but feel I've dodged the bullet.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Tell her you got an anonymous message on Facebook telling you she's been snooping on your 'phone and lying to you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whilst its not a good start why not ask your mutual friend if she is like that all the time. If he/she doesnt think she is and thinks that she is ok, then you could give her a chance as you did say you liked her?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Tell her you got an anonymous message on Facebook telling you she's been snooping on your 'phone and lying to you

although I Love this idea VV I can't. Be still my twitching thumbs!

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

you've stayed on the swingers site looking for extra fun so wondering how much you liked her ?

But going through your phone would have annoyed me

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Tell her you got an anonymous message on Facebook telling you she's been snooping on your 'phone and lying to you

although I Love this idea VV I can't. Be still my twitching thumbs!

I wasn't being (entirely) serious

It wouldn't, as far as I can see, make any difference if she knew you know she snooped and lied. You'll never be able to trust her again so the entire thing would be doomed.

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"you've stayed on the swingers site looking for extra fun so wondering how much you liked her ?

But going through your phone would have annoyed me"

He's seen her a couple of times. That's a bit early for declaring exclusivity. Besides, even though he's stayed on here, he may well have not been looking for meets or agreeing to meets for the moment.

Plenty of people are on here for the fora and don't meet.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I'd be direct and honest about your status and leave the ball in her court. I don't chase people and don't think you should.

Going onto your phone was totally wrong though, so I'd be wary regardless.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"you've stayed on the swingers site looking for extra fun so wondering how much you liked her ?

But going through your phone would have annoyed me

Plenty of people are on here for the fora and don't meet."

I know I even hid myself for a week. Made the mistake of deleting my old profile before and had to start from scratch line a rookie.

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

"you've stayed on the swingers site looking for extra fun so wondering how much you liked her ?

But going through your phone would have annoyed me

Plenty of people are on here for the fora and don't meet."

wasn't judging I think he should meet who he wants when he wants as lifes to dam short not to enjoy yourself

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Mind she doesn't try and honeytrap you, that's something people do when their really insecure

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"you've stayed on the swingers site looking for extra fun so wondering how much you liked her ?

But going through your phone would have annoyed me

Plenty of people are on here for the fora and don't meet.

wasn't judging I think he should meet who he wants when he wants as lifes to dam short not to enjoy yourself"

It sounded awfully like a criticism for staying on the site to me.

Your assertion he was looking for extra fun was wrong anyway, however you meant it.

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

"Does she know your a swinger and meet others for casual sex? or did she think it was an exclusive thing you have going?

not excusing the snooping behaviour though, was bad of her

but if she believed it was exclusive and you have had meets then at least her hunch was correct

I think you have dodged the bullet, if she is like this now as others have said in a few months/years she will be a nightmare to live with, plus the fact she will drive herself nuts wondering what you are getting up to when you are away for 6 months at a time. Chalk it up to one of life`s little experiences and carry on as you were

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

"you've stayed on

He's seen her a couple of times. That's a bit early for declaring exclusivity. the swingers site looking for extra fun so wondering how much you liked her ?

But going through your phone would have annoyed me

Besides, even though he's stayed on here, he may well have not been looking for meets or agreeing to meets for the moment.

Plenty of people are on here for the fora and don't meet.

I know I even hid myself for a week. Made the mistake of deleting my old profile before and had to start from scratch line a rookie. "

We all remembered who you were

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"you've stayed on

He's seen her a couple of times. That's a bit early for declaring exclusivity. the swingers site looking for extra fun so wondering how much you liked her ?

But going through your phone would have annoyed me

Besides, even though he's stayed on here, he may well have not been looking for meets or agreeing to meets for the moment.

Plenty of people are on here for the fora and don't meet.

I know I even hid myself for a week. Made the mistake of deleting my old profile before and had to start from scratch line a rookie.

We all remembered who you were

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How do you know how many people she has told this to, she may have told several and told them all not to tell anyone so they all think they are the only one, if you confronted her with what you know she may very well not know where its come from

You have more patients than me if I was toldmsome guy I had met a few times had not only been through my phone but then had the nerve to lie to me about where his information came from I wouldn't be able to keep quiet, I think its quite insulting

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Does she know your a swinger and meet others for casual sex? or did she think it was an exclusive thing you have going?

not excusing the snooping behaviour though, was bad of her

but if she believed it was exclusive and you have had meets then at least her hunch was correct

Would you have a lock on your phone if you were in a couple? If yes - why?

S x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"you've stayed on the swingers site looking for extra fun so wondering how much you liked her ?

But going through your phone would have annoyed me"

He's only met her twice he probably does not know himself yet how much he likes her, you don't change your life style for someone you have met twice that's not a relationship

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm a nosey shit and have a tendency for looking over folks shoulders when they're on their phone but always catch myself doing it and end up feeling sneaky and apologise but to go through someone's phone without consent is a bit weird....I'd be a bit freaked....that plus the lies, doesen't bode well...I'd avoid I think.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have a pass word lock on my phone, and I'm not even in a relationship I trust noone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I know someone who was doing this recently, they are a couple and he carries his phone everywhere face down screen,and always on silent.

She said she needed to get in his phone for proof, i suggested if he had something to hide and was acting cagey move on and let him have his phone.

Her

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't think it's ever right to go through someone's phone. I've stopped dating people for far less

Exactly. A total lack of respect for you and your privacy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Here's the thing with this...

There is absolutely nothing you can do to change how another person feels about you.

They can't even really change it themselves; why would you think anything you can say or do will make a difference?

If they're into you, they're into you. If they're not, they're not. Don't expect them to change later, because they won't.

Which doesn't, incidently make it right that she should go through your fucking phone.

A person who wants you to change is a never-ending font of insecurity and self-doubt, because technically they don't really LIKE you.

They like the fantasy of you that you're going to **possibly** be sometime in the future, and if you should happen to NOT be that... they're going to get increasingly unhappy with who you ARE and very fucking insecure..

..... and it's not going to go anywhere good.

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By *cankeepMan over a year ago

Norwich

"Easiest answer is not to stress about it and walk away - if there is activity like sneaking peeks at phones and a lot of distrust, why bother?"

This.

No point going anywhere if there's no trust at the outset mate. She's probably been burned before, so prob not her fault. Thing is people who do this can end up creating an atmosphere where the thing they *think* that is happening - but *isn't* actually happening - becomes more likely! Happened to me before - I got harangued for 'playing around' so much when I never had I went out looking for it anyway: I thought to myself, "If I'm damned and I didn't, I might as well do".

Still, didn't get any lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

well rid - Sx

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By *issHottieBottieWoman over a year ago

Kent

Haven't read the rest of the replies but mine is...

RUN FOR THE FUCKING HILLS AND DONT LOOK BACK!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You did nothing wrong and she showed you exactly what she was like so you had a lucky escape

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Haven't read the rest of the replies but mine is...

RUN FOR THE FUCKING HILLS AND DONT LOOK BACK!!

I'd advise a fast car it'll get you further away

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By *issHottieBottieWoman over a year ago

Kent

"Haven't read the rest of the replies but mine is...

RUN FOR THE FUCKING HILLS AND DONT LOOK BACK!!

I'd advise a fast car it'll get you further away

Oh yeah! Get a Bugatti veyron, that should be nippy enough..

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS over a year ago

Epsom

"Distance yourself and send her an application form for GCHQ or tickets to Bletchely Park.

Can't she got caught x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Honestly Op leave her alone cos it will only get worse the closer you become. That's something I would do and believe me I'd get worse the more I liked you.

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By *hortieWoman over a year ago

Northampton

you joined this site for your benefit - no-one elses...

I could say so much more, but will leave it at that

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

"you've stayed on the swingers site looking for extra fun so wondering how much you liked her ?

But going through your phone would have annoyed me

Plenty of people are on here for the fora and don't meet.

wasn't judging I think he should meet who he wants when he wants as lifes to dam short not to enjoy yourself

It sounded awfully like a criticism for staying on the site to me.

Your assertion he was looking for extra fun was wrong anyway, however you meant it."

why was my assertion that he was looking for extra fun wrong ?

why else are we all on a swingers site ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"you've stayed on the swingers site looking for extra fun so wondering how much you liked her ?

But going through your phone would have annoyed me

Plenty of people are on here for the fora and don't meet.

wasn't judging I think he should meet who he wants when he wants as lifes to dam short not to enjoy yourself

It sounded awfully like a criticism for staying on the site to me.

Your assertion he was looking for extra fun was wrong anyway, however you meant it.

why was my assertion that he was looking for extra fun wrong ?

why else are we all on a swingers site ?"

Hmmmmmm, judging by your verifications you probably should ask yourself the same question. I am here as a single guy that does like the thrill of an occasional meet with the added interaction with like minded naughty folk.

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

"you've stayed on the swingers site looking for extra fun so wondering how much you liked her ?

But going through your phone would have annoyed me

Plenty of people are on here for the fora and don't meet.

wasn't judging I think he should meet who he wants when he wants as lifes to dam short not to enjoy yourself

It sounded awfully like a criticism for staying on the site to me.

Your assertion he was looking for extra fun was wrong anyway, however you meant it.

why was my assertion that he was looking for extra fun wrong ?

why else are we all on a swingers site ?

That's what I was saying

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Honestly Op leave her alone cos it will only get worse the closer you become. That's something I would do and believe me I'd get worse the more I liked you. "

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"you've stayed on the swingers site looking for extra fun so wondering how much you liked her ?

But going through your phone would have annoyed me

Plenty of people are on here for the fora and don't meet.

wasn't judging I think he should meet who he wants when he wants as lifes to dam short not to enjoy yourself

It sounded awfully like a criticism for staying on the site to me.

Your assertion he was looking for extra fun was wrong anyway, however you meant it.

why was my assertion that he was looking for extra fun wrong ?

why else are we all on a swingers site ?"

He said he hid his profile while he was seeing her

Having a profile on a swinging site and being active on a swinging site are two different things. That's without considering those that are active but only in the fora etc.

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"you've stayed on the swingers site looking for extra fun so wondering how much you liked her ?

But going through your phone would have annoyed me

Plenty of people are on here for the fora and don't meet.

wasn't judging I think he should meet who he wants when he wants as lifes to dam short not to enjoy yourself

It sounded awfully like a criticism for staying on the site to me.

Your assertion he was looking for extra fun was wrong anyway, however you meant it.

why was my assertion that he was looking for extra fun wrong ?

why else are we all on a swingers site ?"

That he was looking on here, for extra fun, during the time he was seeing her was just your assumption.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Tell her to jog the fuck on...seriously how old is she? To be playing stupid games and to go through your phone it's wrong!!

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Tell her to jog the fuck on...seriously how old is she? To be playing stupid games and to go through your phone it's wrong!! "

Don't hold back there, Cheeky, say what you really mean!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tie her to a lamppost - pull her panties down - and thrash her bottom with stinging nettles.

Then ring your lawyer for some legal advice before the police arrive.

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By *odareyouMan over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I read a text message my wife had sent to her best friend whilst going through her phone. It said, "Off to the shop to buy some AA batteries. I'm horny as hell and I want to hit the places my husband can't reach."

It would have been less embarrassing if she actually owned a vibrator..

Honesty trust and respect all laudable valshues shes shown you none of these fella.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

After reading this thread - it's her loss, you're better off without her.

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