FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > FIRST IMPRESSIONS

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Many people on Fab will reject an interested suitor based on first impressions or a 'gut feeling'. Is it fair to do this? A question of attraction is fair enough, as is questioning the suitor's profile, however, I have experienced firsthand on more than one occasion a woman's immediate reaction to me being a generally negative one, yet due to my 'never say die' attitude (not stalking, definitely not stalking), I persevered and eventually 'won' them over with my dazzling personality and charming wit, clearly.

Anyone else with similar experiences?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why is it not fair?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why is it not fair?"

Didn't say it wasn't, was asking if it is.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

If I'm rejected I certainly ain't going to chase them to win them over...what's the point move on..I don't chase anyone

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

You never get a second chance to make a first impression and I never go against my gut instinct

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The soundtrack of my life :

First impressions, are lasting impressions ....

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

And they wouldn't get a chance to try and win me over cause they would of already been blocked

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple over a year ago

in Lancashire

rejection is part of this aspect, if thats so hard to accept is this for you..?

one persons persevering will be another's pestering behaviour..

and pestering is not dignified..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Oh well, it's worked for me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Won over or worn down ?

There is a difference

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why is it not fair?

Didn't say it wasn't, was asking if it is."

I have first impressions about people and I might not like them. Later I might change my mind though. I don't really take it seriously. It should be fun.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"rejection is part of this aspect, if thats so hard to accept is this for you..?

one persons persevering will be another's pestering behaviour..

and pestering is not dignified.."

I am not specifically referring to myself being rejected, but more so a generally wary attitude. Someone who will still talk to me, but isn't quite sure about me.

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By *andd2Couple over a year ago

The Dungeon

When contacted on here then sure, a look at the pics, then read their profile, then read their verifications and finally look at the people wrote the verifications.

If at a club then as long as they're not butt fugly I'm attracted to a normal person with a charming personality.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Won over or worn down ?

There is a difference

Either/or

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have a few words and a few two dimensional pics to sell ourselves on here.

Those who have discovered the forums have a chance to get their personality over too.

That can be a blessing for some, a curse for others.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have a few words and a few two dimensional pics to sell ourselves on here.

Those who have discovered the forums have a chance to get their personality over too.

That can be a blessing for some, a curse for others."

It's a curse for me.

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By *trawberry-popWoman over a year ago

South East Midlands NOT

"We have a few words and a few two dimensional pics to sell ourselves on here.

Those who have discovered the forums have a chance to get their personality over too.

That can be a blessing for some, a curse for others.

It's a curse for me.

And me, probably!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have a few words and a few two dimensional pics to sell ourselves on here.

Those who have discovered the forums have a chance to get their personality over too.

That can be a blessing for some, a curse for others.

It's a curse for me.

Noooo

You're lovely in here

Much better than you are in reality

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

On here due to the influx of messages received I make my decision based on first impressions, unless I've seen something later that makes me think otherwise, maybe interacting in the forums for example.

In the real world I don't make snap judgements about people, prefer to get to know someone first.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have a few words and a few two dimensional pics to sell ourselves on here.

Those who have discovered the forums have a chance to get their personality over too.

That can be a blessing for some, a curse for others.

It's a curse for me.

Noooo

You're lovely in here

Much better than you are in reality

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

In retrospect, it was wrong of me to use the word 'reject' in the post. Think of the scenario being a person who is unsure of the person messaging them, but radically changes opinion over time.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"We have a few words and a few two dimensional pics to sell ourselves on here.

Those who have discovered the forums have a chance to get their personality over too.

That can be a blessing for some, a curse for others.

It's a curse for me.

And me, probably!

Me three.

I don't think I have ever tried to wear someone down into changing their mind about me on here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes.

First impressions is everything for me.

You get one go...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Teeth

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes.

First impressions is everything for me.

You get one go...

Why thank you, i'll be quick lol

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

My first impression is Tommy Cooper and if that goes down well, I'll do one of a corporal I used to have and add the context and the joke. I've never had chance to do a 3rd impression, as they've edged away by then.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In retrospect, it was wrong of me to use the word 'reject' in the post. Think of the scenario being a person who is unsure of the person messaging them, but radically changes opinion over time."

Yeah i have done this. Had a guy send me a polite message, not bad looking, didn't reply at the time, couple of weeks later he sent another one and mentioned his last message (so i knew he hadn't accidently messaged me again), third time he did something similar so i started chatting to him.

Met him a couple of times now, really nice guy, enjoy being with him and talking to him.

If i don't find someone appealing (crude first message or unattractive to me by their looks) then i block them and they can't have another chance. But yeah persisting can work, timing is half of the process of getting a reply i would say, catch someone on a day when they have time to talk and they probably will.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" I never go against my gut instinct

This is so true.

So, so, so fucking true.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"In retrospect, it was wrong of me to use the word 'reject' in the post. Think of the scenario being a person who is unsure of the person messaging them, but radically changes opinion over time.

Met him a couple of times now, really nice guy, enjoy being with him and talking to him.

Brilliant comment, exactly the type of reply I was seeking

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My first impression was

Bagpuss going to sleep, and when Bagpuss goes to sleep all his friends go to sleep..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes, your first impression of a person can say more about you than it can about them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sometimes, your first impression of a person can say more about you than it can about them."

Interesting observation.

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By *adybee77Woman over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

I generally give people 2 chances...

But persistence on here is not attractive - its usually a sure fire way to get on the block list for being pushy.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Anyone else with similar experiences?"

Sure, I am not someone who blocks, and yes, sometimes I completely change my mind!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In retrospect, it was wrong of me to use the word 'reject' in the post. Think of the scenario being a person who is unsure of the person messaging them, but radically changes opinion over time.

Met him a couple of times now, really nice guy, enjoy being with him and talking to him.

Brilliant comment, exactly the type of reply I was seeking

No problem. I'm not stupid but i'm also not psychic so honestly have no idea what people are gonna be like in real life.

Obviously some people put me right off them and because i do have the luxury of being able to pick and choose (with far too many guys) i do block people when i can, but i never block anyone i might enjoy talking to or meeting up with.

Some people have messaged too often, like several messages in one day, or every single day and i don't reply, i do block these people coz they come across as pushy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I currently have ziltch people on,the block list I have seen, some post, and I thought urgh. I have avoided them, I am extremely forgiving.Perhaps naive. I do change my mind it's a woman's perogative

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I generally give people 2 chances...

But persistence on here is not attractive - its usually a sure fire way to get on the block list for being pushy.

I don't mean persistence as in three or four messages in a row without reply, more so not letting my head drop when the lady in question is unsure of me and rather tipping the conversation in my favour.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"In retrospect, it was wrong of me to use the word 'reject' in the post. Think of the scenario being a person who is unsure of the person messaging them, but radically changes opinion over time.

Met him a couple of times now, really nice guy, enjoy being with him and talking to him.

Brilliant comment, exactly the type of reply I was seeking

No problem. I'm not stupid but i'm also not psychic so honestly have no idea what people are gonna be like in real life.

Some people have messaged too often, like several messages in one day, or every single day and i don't reply, i do block these people coz they come across as pushy."

Persistence is good if it's channelled in the right way (ie: one message at a time). As long as you allow your true personality to blossom within a reasonable time frame, I definitely encourage persistence as long as there's no definitive rejection there.

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By *adybee77Woman over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

"I generally give people 2 chances...

But persistence on here is not attractive - its usually a sure fire way to get on the block list for being pushy.

I'm very much about gut instinct. If I feel someone is wrong for me, then thats my mind set. If I was unsure, they would not get the chance to tip anything one way or another.

I guess thats the luxury of being a single female on here, plenty of choice, and even in real life - I have never settled for something I am unsure of. I'd rather not meet/stay single (although I am lucky having an off fab lover tucked away too, and he's happy for me to be on here, so win-win)

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I generally give people 2 chances...

But persistence on here is not attractive - its usually a sure fire way to get on the block list for being pushy.

I'm very much about gut instinct. If I feel someone is wrong for me, then thats my mind set. If I was unsure, they would not get the chance to tip anything one way or another.

Entirely your prerogative and you're fully entitled to that. There are however other women who will lean the other way and perhaps not close the door definitively when unsure about a suitor, which of course suits me down to the ground because I see myself as a grower. I am used to people being wary of me to begin with, but I am more than happy to use as much time as is available to allow my personality to flourish because I love conversation at the end of the day.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I generally give people 2 chances...

But persistence on here is not attractive - its usually a sure fire way to get on the block list for being pushy.

Exactly, I like to see persistence, I like to know someone actually means it! If I say no, I mean no, but otherwise I like people who are prepared to stay in touch over a period.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is what it is. If you dwell on losing what you never had, you lose even more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I generally give people 2 chances...

But persistence on here is not attractive - its usually a sure fire way to get on the block list for being pushy.

Exactly, I like to see persistence, I like to know someone actually means it! If I say no, I mean no, but otherwise I like people who are prepared to stay in touch over a period."

Exactly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Persistence is good if it's channelled in the right way (ie: one message at a time). As long as you allow your true personality to blossom within a reasonable time frame, I definitely encourage persistence as long as there's no definitive rejection there."

I'd say it's ok so long as it's not too frequent (and frequency will vary between individuals) and so long as it doesn't come off stalkerish too. And...so long as it doesn't look like you randomly message anyone and have forgotten you have previously messaged that person.

I don't think you even have to show a personality that much, so long as you show a genuine interest and the other person isn't completely against the idea of meeting then one day they'll probably reply, if you don't put them off beforehand, so yeah kind of simple but not really.

Just started chatting to a guy on here recently because he has sent me a fair amount of messages over the months i've been here (that i ignored), then one day he asked me to block him if i wasn't going to reply, so i apologised and replied to him and we have nice conversations now. I didn't feel he was being pushy to ask me that either, felt it was fair enough so that he didn't feel messed about by me or that he was wasting his time, especially as i'd never communicated with him to give him any idea of what he would/wouldn't get from me. Depends on the people involved overall, what they feel is fair or right i guess.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You often give long and detailed replies to questions asked in these forums and they're more often than not on the money. I certainly value your opinion, not just based on your contributions to this thread, but in general

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thanks. I try to be high quality. Plus i just like talking in general, takes a lot to put up with me in real life haha.

Don't have to take my word as gospel though, it's just my take on things and i'm not everyone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks. I try to be high quality. Plus i just like talking in general, takes a lot to put up with me in real life haha.

Don't have to take my word as gospel though, it's just my take on things and i'm not everyone.

Well I certainly appreciate your approach. You're very blunt and to the point, as well as being brutally honest. I value all of those qualities.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well I certainly appreciate your approach. You're very blunt and to the point, as well as being brutally honest. I value all of those qualities."

Yeah i admire them too, that's why i have them.

I didn't actually want Johnny Depp to poop though, that was a typo.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Well I certainly appreciate your approach. You're very blunt and to the point, as well as being brutally honest. I value all of those qualities.

Yeah i admire them too, that's why i have them.

I didn't actually want Johnny Depp to poop though, that was a typo.

Ha-ha! Sure, sure, ya freak

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well I certainly appreciate your approach. You're very blunt and to the point, as well as being brutally honest. I value all of those qualities.

Yeah i admire them too, that's why i have them.

I didn't actually want Johnny Depp to poop though, that was a typo.

Ha-ha! Sure, sure, ya freak

Best get some sleep here, didn't realise it was so late.

'night.

Wish there was a poop smilie...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Well I certainly appreciate your approach. You're very blunt and to the point, as well as being brutally honest. I value all of those qualities.

Yeah i admire them too, that's why i have them.

I didn't actually want Johnny Depp to poop though, that was a typo.

Ha-ha! Sure, sure, ya freak

Best get some sleep here, didn't realise it was so late.

'night.

Wish there was a poop smilie..."

I'll have a word with the mods. Hope they're not too 'shitty' about it.

G'night!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

First impressions count always as do my initial instincts..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

if we got a bad vibe off a first impression im pretty sure we wouldnt pursue it - why would we?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

First impressions can make or break a single guy. I've been on this site for 4 years the first 3 only met one lady, the past year the meets have grown. But I put that down to being me and entering a chat rooms and attending social events. Once you become a known face in the chat rooms things change only slightly as there are still one or two that will still have reservations.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I try to be sensitive to my gut reactions and feelings. It doesn't always follow but I largely rely on instinct. Block buttons prevent many second chances too.

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