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Hard work for single guys
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By *inglem88 OP Man
over a year ago
st albans |
Hi all,
One thing I have noticed is how much harder it is on here for single guys. I thought after getting a couple of verifications it would help generate more conversations.
Yesterday I saw two new accounts where local women had just joined. Both mentioned I'm their status that they had received so many messages it would take a while to get through them all.....they hadent even uploaded any pictures!!
are there really that many desperate men on here that accounts with no photos at all are getting bombarded with messages? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi all,
One thing I have noticed is how much harder it is on here for single guys. I thought after getting a couple of verifications it would help generate more conversations.
Yesterday I saw two new accounts where local women had just joined. Both mentioned I'm their status that they had received so many messages it would take a while to get through them all.....they hadent even uploaded any pictures!!
are there really that many desperate men on here that accounts with no photos at all are getting bombarded with messages? "
Yes
Gimp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are guys who go for newbies (on every site and not just here).
Think it's a bit to do with wanting new 'meat', some probably think they just joined so are desperate for a fuck, some will love that the women don't understand the site (and don't know how to block anyone).
They tend to come off as a bit predatory to me, if i'm honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sexy joined here with nothing on her profile and no pictures just so she could see the club reviews. She then got hundreds of messages some complimenting her on her profile and saying how nice she looked!!?
Unbelievable stupidity by those sending the messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a fact of life that almost any woman, irrespective of how she looks or presents herself will have far more success on here than almost any guy of equal status or standing.
|
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I have to admit to being successful on here so far. I only tend to send a message to women who are interested in the same things as myself, send a polite message. And don't tend to send a message to a single female until she has been on for a while, as I have seen from friends of mine on here both the amount of messages that they get in the first few days of joining, and to be honest, what some of the messages say!
One line profiles, and one line messages! And they have been on for over a year with no verifications, and they moan about it! I'm a firm believer in you get out of something what you put in! Women get swamped and it's no suprise! But there are more male tawts on this site than anything! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cos the ratio is 100 men to 1 woman or even more, so naturally everyone would email any kind of profile even tho with no pic lol  "
That's something of an urban myth, research was done and everything! Depending on areas etc its roughly between 7-1 to 12-1 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cos the ratio is 100 men to 1 woman or even more, so naturally everyone would email any kind of profile even tho with no pic lol
That's something of an urban myth, research was done and everything! Depending on areas etc its roughly between 7-1 to 12-1"
YEs that's right and most offers comes from north England and its proven that northern lasses are more up for it then them here down south England. |
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"Hi all,
One thing I have noticed is how much harder it is on here for single guys. I thought after getting a couple of verifications it would help generate more conversations.
Yesterday I saw two new accounts where local women had just joined. Both mentioned I'm their status that they had received so many messages it would take a while to get through them all.....they hadent even uploaded any pictures!!
are there really that many desperate men on here that accounts with no photos at all are getting bombarded with messages? "
I love getting bombarded with messages from single men. If it wasn't for the single men on here I wouldn't have joined up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hard work or not as easy as it is for women to get meets ?
There is a difference
Also, two other things :
- a full inbox doesn't equate to more quality meets
- would you want it to be easy ? Where's the fun in that ? |
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"It's a fact of life that almost any woman, irrespective of how she looks or presents herself will have far more success on here than almost any guy of equal status or standing.
"
Reminds me of living in Alaska where the men outnumber the women by about 100 to 1....
"if a woman wants a man the odds are good...but the goods are gonna be odd."
On the other hand ...
"when a woman leaves Alaska she has to remember she is going to be ugly again....."
I think you need humour to enjoy it here too.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"- a full inbox doesn't equate to more quality meets"
And an empty single male one certainly doesn't.
"would you want it to be easy ? Where's the fun in that ?"
There is such thing as a 'happy medium'. I'm not looking for 'easy' women, but neither do I want finding, contacting and finally meeting one to be the exercise in hair tearing frustration it so often is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A friend had 850 messages within a few hours of joining. Sad, pathetic fuckers trying to pray on new women joining. That's why so many women leave and the genuine ones that stay take crap from no one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is as hard as you make it firstly posting in public forum about how you are finding it hard to get meets wont help if potential meets read the forums. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Cos the ratio is 100 men to 1 woman or even more, so naturally everyone would email any kind of profile even tho with no pic lol
That's something of an urban myth, research was done and everything! Depending on areas etc its roughly between 7-1 to 12-1YEs that's right and most offers comes from north England and its proven that northern lasses are more up for it then them here down south England."
Shag, sometimes you do talk a load of old flannel!  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"A friend had 850 messages within a few hours of joining. Sad, pathetic fuckers trying to pray on new women joining. That's why so many women leave and the genuine ones that stay take crap from no one. "
^ this. 100% this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cos the ratio is 100 men to 1 woman or even more, so naturally everyone would email any kind of profile even tho with no pic lol
That's something of an urban myth, research was done and everything! Depending on areas etc its roughly between 7-1 to 12-1YEs that's right and most offers comes from north England and its proven that northern lasses are more up for it then them here down south England."
Ah sorry shag! Tell you what next lady that I meet I'll send down to you since you're so hard up with your lean muscular torso, articulate wit and Nordic charm... Hang on! |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"
are there really that many desperate men on here that accounts with no photos at all are getting bombarded with messages? "
Short answer? Yes.
Some of those men will live hundreds of miles from those women. Many will be outside of the stated preferences.
The number of decent prospects will be small but to find them in the deluge will take time, patience and effort.
With time and experience the women will learn to use the message filters to cut down the number of messages. Or they'll get fed up and leave. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cos the ratio is 100 men to 1 woman or even more, so naturally everyone would email any kind of profile even tho with no pic lol
That's something of an urban myth, research was done and everything! Depending on areas etc its roughly between 7-1 to 12-1YEs that's right and most offers comes from north England and its proven that northern lasses are more up for it then them here down south England.
Ah sorry shag! Tell you what next lady that I meet I'll send down to you since you're so hard up with your lean muscular torso, articulate wit and Nordic charm... Hang on!"
Thanks yes and ur right its pretty hard work in the gym sweat too lol. I will hang in there  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
are there really that many desperate men on here that accounts with no photos at all are getting bombarded with messages?
Short answer? Yes.
Some of those men will live hundreds of miles from those women. Many will be outside of the stated preferences.
The number of decent prospects will be small but to find them in the deluge will take time, patience and effort.
With time and experience the women will learn to use the message filters to cut down the number of messages. Or they'll get fed up and leave."
So as I said, set up more than one category of single male - standard and established, each has to be filtered separately, so if a woman joins the site and doesn't want to be beset with a slew of 'fancy a fuk' grade messages, she can simply block standard single males, whilst still being contactable by those who are familiar and successful enough with the scene to have some idea of how to actually talk to women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cos the ratio is 100 men to 1 woman or even more, so naturally everyone would email any kind of profile even tho with no pic lol
That's something of an urban myth, research was done and everything! Depending on areas etc its roughly between 7-1 to 12-1YEs that's right and most offers comes from north England and its proven that northern lasses are more up for it then them here down south England.
Shag, sometimes you do talk a load of old flannel! "
lol my offers proves otherwise it is  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cos the ratio is 100 men to 1 woman or even more, so naturally everyone would email any kind of profile even tho with no pic lol
That's something of an urban myth, research was done and everything! Depending on areas etc its roughly between 7-1 to 12-1YEs that's right and most offers comes from north England and its proven that northern lasses are more up for it then them here down south England.
Shag, sometimes you do talk a load of old flannel! lol my offers proves otherwise it is "
Shag's right. I have northern women interested in me too. Southern women? Practically nonexistent. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"
are there really that many desperate men on here that accounts with no photos at all are getting bombarded with messages?
Short answer? Yes.
Some of those men will live hundreds of miles from those women. Many will be outside of the stated preferences.
The number of decent prospects will be small but to find them in the deluge will take time, patience and effort.
With time and experience the women will learn to use the message filters to cut down the number of messages. Or they'll get fed up and leave.
So as I said, set up more than one category of single male - standard and established, each has to be filtered separately, so if a woman joins the site and doesn't want to be beset with a slew of 'fancy a fuk' grade messages, she can simply block standard single males, whilst still being contactable by those who are familiar and successful enough with the scene to have some idea of how to actually talk to women."
Oh, you mean sort of like a verification system?
Newbies need a chance too and "established" site members can still be twats sometimes. |
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When you first join and don't realise you can set filters you literally get bombarded with messages as it says its a new account. I have all my filters in place and I'm not inundated just a nice amount but I know some new women have left straight away as the amount of messages straight away is overwhelming
|
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Cos the ratio is 100 men to 1 woman or even more, so naturally everyone would email any kind of profile even tho with no pic lol
That's something of an urban myth, research was done and everything! Depending on areas etc its roughly between 7-1 to 12-1YEs that's right and most offers comes from north England and its proven that northern lasses are more up for it then them here down south England.
Shag, sometimes you do talk a load of old flannel! lol my offers proves otherwise it is
Shag's right. I have northern women interested in me too. Southern women? Practically nonexistent."
I'm willing to bet you can also find Northern men with Southern women messaging them but without much interest locally.
I have a few theories about why this happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cos the ratio is 100 men to 1 woman or even more, so naturally everyone would email any kind of profile even tho with no pic lol
That's something of an urban myth, research was done and everything! Depending on areas etc its roughly between 7-1 to 12-1YEs that's right and most offers comes from north England and its proven that northern lasses are more up for it then them here down south England.
Shag, sometimes you do talk a load of old flannel! lol my offers proves otherwise it is
Shag's right. I have northern women interested in me too. Southern women? Practically nonexistent.
I'm willing to bet you can also find Northern men with Southern women messaging them but without much interest locally.
I have a few theories about why this happens."
Guilty of this. Sometimes it's just nice to have a conversation with someone, without the pressure of setting a date to meet. Most of the time, the conversations are completely non sexual. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cos the ratio is 100 men to 1 woman or even more, so naturally everyone would email any kind of profile even tho with no pic lol
That's something of an urban myth, research was done and everything! Depending on areas etc its roughly between 7-1 to 12-1YEs that's right and most offers comes from north England and its proven that northern lasses are more up for it then them here down south England.
Shag, sometimes you do talk a load of old flannel! lol my offers proves otherwise it is
Shag's right. I have northern women interested in me too. Southern women? Practically nonexistent.
I'm willing to bet you can also find Northern men with Southern women messaging them but without much interest locally.
I have a few theories about why this happens."
I'm interested to hear your theories. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
are there really that many desperate men on here that accounts with no photos at all are getting bombarded with messages?
Short answer? Yes.
Some of those men will live hundreds of miles from those women. Many will be outside of the stated preferences.
The number of decent prospects will be small but to find them in the deluge will take time, patience and effort.
With time and experience the women will learn to use the message filters to cut down the number of messages. Or they'll get fed up and leave.
So as I said, set up more than one category of single male - standard and established, each has to be filtered separately, so if a woman joins the site and doesn't want to be beset with a slew of 'fancy a fuk' grade messages, she can simply block standard single males, whilst still being contactable by those who are familiar and successful enough with the scene to have some idea of how to actually talk to women.
Oh, you mean sort of like a verification system?
Newbies need a chance too and "established" site members can still be twats sometimes."
No, because verifications mean nothing if the fact that you're filter blocked means the person you want to contact can't read them (unless they find you first in amongst several thousand other single males - yeah, right).
Newbies can have their shot at getting into the higher status established category if they're willing to make a proper effort that so many single guys aren't.
But yes I agree that established guys can be twats too. |
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"
are there really that many desperate men on here that accounts with no photos at all are getting bombarded with messages?
Short answer? Yes.
Some of those men will live hundreds of miles from those women. Many will be outside of the stated preferences.
The number of decent prospects will be small but to find them in the deluge will take time, patience and effort.
With time and experience the women will learn to use the message filters to cut down the number of messages. Or they'll get fed up and leave.
So as I said, set up more than one category of single male - standard and established, each has to be filtered separately, so if a woman joins the site and doesn't want to be beset with a slew of 'fancy a fuk' grade messages, she can simply block standard single males, whilst still being contactable by those who are familiar and successful enough with the scene to have some idea of how to actually talk to women.
Oh, you mean sort of like a verification system?
Newbies need a chance too and "established" site members can still be twats sometimes.
No, because verifications mean nothing if the fact that you're filter blocked means the person you want to contact can't read them (unless they find you first in amongst several thousand other single males - yeah, right).
Newbies can have their shot at getting into the higher status established category if they're willing to make a proper effort that so many single guys aren't.
But yes I agree that established guys can be twats too."
you always seem to be down on the other single guys like your the site guru yet judging by your threads you are always complaining you don't get that much interest yet other guys manage to get lots of meets and I'm sure there just as picky as you profess to be. Yes there are twats but there's far more that arnt |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Cos the ratio is 100 men to 1 woman or even more, so naturally everyone would email any kind of profile even tho with no pic lol
That's something of an urban myth, research was done and everything! Depending on areas etc its roughly between 7-1 to 12-1YEs that's right and most offers comes from north England and its proven that northern lasses are more up for it then them here down south England.
Shag, sometimes you do talk a load of old flannel! lol my offers proves otherwise it is
Shag's right. I have northern women interested in me too. Southern women? Practically nonexistent.
I'm willing to bet you can also find Northern men with Southern women messaging them but without much interest locally.
I have a few theories about why this happens.
I'm interested to hear your theories."
See the post above yours. That's one of them. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"
are there really that many desperate men on here that accounts with no photos at all are getting bombarded with messages?
Short answer? Yes.
Some of those men will live hundreds of miles from those women. Many will be outside of the stated preferences.
The number of decent prospects will be small but to find them in the deluge will take time, patience and effort.
With time and experience the women will learn to use the message filters to cut down the number of messages. Or they'll get fed up and leave.
So as I said, set up more than one category of single male - standard and established, each has to be filtered separately, so if a woman joins the site and doesn't want to be beset with a slew of 'fancy a fuk' grade messages, she can simply block standard single males, whilst still being contactable by those who are familiar and successful enough with the scene to have some idea of how to actually talk to women.
Oh, you mean sort of like a verification system?
Newbies need a chance too and "established" site members can still be twats sometimes.
No, because verifications mean nothing if the fact that you're filter blocked means the person you want to contact can't read them (unless they find you first in amongst several thousand other single males - yeah, right).
Newbies can have their shot at getting into the higher status established category if they're willing to make a proper effort that so many single guys aren't.
But yes I agree that established guys can be twats too.you always seem to be down on the other single guys like your the site guru yet judging by your threads you are always complaining you don't get that much interest yet other guys manage to get lots of meets and I'm sure there just as picky as you profess to be. Yes there are twats but there's far more that arnt"
You noticed this too? I was wondering if it was just me. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"
are there really that many desperate men on here that accounts with no photos at all are getting bombarded with messages?
Short answer? Yes.
Some of those men will live hundreds of miles from those women. Many will be outside of the stated preferences.
The number of decent prospects will be small but to find them in the deluge will take time, patience and effort.
With time and experience the women will learn to use the message filters to cut down the number of messages. Or they'll get fed up and leave.
So as I said, set up more than one category of single male - standard and established, each has to be filtered separately, so if a woman joins the site and doesn't want to be beset with a slew of 'fancy a fuk' grade messages, she can simply block standard single males, whilst still being contactable by those who are familiar and successful enough with the scene to have some idea of how to actually talk to women.
Oh, you mean sort of like a verification system?
Newbies need a chance too and "established" site members can still be twats sometimes.
No, because verifications mean nothing if the fact that you're filter blocked means the person you want to contact can't read them (unless they find you first in amongst several thousand other single males - yeah, right).
Newbies can have their shot at getting into the higher status established category if they're willing to make a proper effort that so many single guys aren't.
But yes I agree that established guys can be twats too."
I've asked before and you've never given an explanation.
How are these categories to be set up? 
Number of veri's?
Time spent on site?
Face to face interview, physical examination, IQ test, anal probing, picking names out of hats??? 
Or shall we just leave it as it is? Without the need for 'league tables', classifications and the like? The set up works for those that don't expect to be spoon fed. It doesn't need to change.
The only suggestion I'd have would be to ban incoming mails for new members. Let them go searching themselves to learn how the site works - it would be a good learning experience for them and give them time to settle in.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
are there really that many desperate men on here that accounts with no photos at all are getting bombarded with messages?
Short answer? Yes.
Some of those men will live hundreds of miles from those women. Many will be outside of the stated preferences.
The number of decent prospects will be small but to find them in the deluge will take time, patience and effort.
With time and experience the women will learn to use the message filters to cut down the number of messages. Or they'll get fed up and leave.
So as I said, set up more than one category of single male - standard and established, each has to be filtered separately, so if a woman joins the site and doesn't want to be beset with a slew of 'fancy a fuk' grade messages, she can simply block standard single males, whilst still being contactable by those who are familiar and successful enough with the scene to have some idea of how to actually talk to women.
Oh, you mean sort of like a verification system?
Newbies need a chance too and "established" site members can still be twats sometimes.
No, because verifications mean nothing if the fact that you're filter blocked means the person you want to contact can't read them (unless they find you first in amongst several thousand other single males - yeah, right).
Newbies can have their shot at getting into the higher status established category if they're willing to make a proper effort that so many single guys aren't.
But yes I agree that established guys can be twats too.
I've asked before and you've never given an explanation.
How are these categories to be set up?
Number of veri's?
Time spent on site?
Face to face interview, physical examination, IQ test, anal probing, picking names out of hats???
Or shall we just leave it as it is? Without the need for 'league tables', classifications and the like? The set up works for those that don't expect to be spoon fed. It doesn't need to change.
The only suggestion I'd have would be to ban incoming mails for new members. Let them go searching themselves to learn how the site works - it would be a good learning experience for them and give them time to settle in.
A"
I dislike the thought of someone being unsuccessful so they want to limit the success of others.
People will meet people they want to meet, they won't meet people they don't want to meet. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"
are there really that many desperate men on here that accounts with no photos at all are getting bombarded with messages?
Short answer? Yes.
Some of those men will live hundreds of miles from those women. Many will be outside of the stated preferences.
The number of decent prospects will be small but to find them in the deluge will take time, patience and effort.
With time and experience the women will learn to use the message filters to cut down the number of messages. Or they'll get fed up and leave.
So as I said, set up more than one category of single male - standard and established, each has to be filtered separately, so if a woman joins the site and doesn't want to be beset with a slew of 'fancy a fuk' grade messages, she can simply block standard single males, whilst still being contactable by those who are familiar and successful enough with the scene to have some idea of how to actually talk to women.
Oh, you mean sort of like a verification system?
Newbies need a chance too and "established" site members can still be twats sometimes.
No, because verifications mean nothing if the fact that you're filter blocked means the person you want to contact can't read them (unless they find you first in amongst several thousand other single males - yeah, right).
Newbies can have their shot at getting into the higher status established category if they're willing to make a proper effort that so many single guys aren't.
But yes I agree that established guys can be twats too."
You forget that it's possible to block unverified men. If someone was seeking more "established" people they might well do that first.
And if they've blocked men, meaning you can't contact them, then they'd probably have blocked established men too.
Unless you're suggesting that these established men should be un-blockable and always able to message the objects of their desire?
I don't see how another verification tier would help. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"
are there really that many desperate men on here that accounts with no photos at all are getting bombarded with messages?
Short answer? Yes.
Some of those men will live hundreds of miles from those women. Many will be outside of the stated preferences.
The number of decent prospects will be small but to find them in the deluge will take time, patience and effort.
With time and experience the women will learn to use the message filters to cut down the number of messages. Or they'll get fed up and leave.
So as I said, set up more than one category of single male - standard and established, each has to be filtered separately, so if a woman joins the site and doesn't want to be beset with a slew of 'fancy a fuk' grade messages, she can simply block standard single males, whilst still being contactable by those who are familiar and successful enough with the scene to have some idea of how to actually talk to women.
Oh, you mean sort of like a verification system?
Newbies need a chance too and "established" site members can still be twats sometimes.
No, because verifications mean nothing if the fact that you're filter blocked means the person you want to contact can't read them (unless they find you first in amongst several thousand other single males - yeah, right).
Newbies can have their shot at getting into the higher status established category if they're willing to make a proper effort that so many single guys aren't.
But yes I agree that established guys can be twats too.
I've asked before and you've never given an explanation.
How are these categories to be set up?
Number of veri's?
Time spent on site?
Face to face interview, physical examination, IQ test, anal probing, picking names out of hats???
Or shall we just leave it as it is? Without the need for 'league tables', classifications and the like? The set up works for those that don't expect to be spoon fed. It doesn't need to change.
The only suggestion I'd have would be to ban incoming mails for new members. Let them go searching themselves to learn how the site works - it would be a good learning experience for them and give them time to settle in.
A"
Easy. Sexybrian is to be elevated to "established" level and everyone else is left to prove themselves somehow or other.
Job done. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"
are there really that many desperate men on here that accounts with no photos at all are getting bombarded with messages?
Short answer? Yes.
Some of those men will live hundreds of miles from those women. Many will be outside of the stated preferences.
The number of decent prospects will be small but to find them in the deluge will take time, patience and effort.
With time and experience the women will learn to use the message filters to cut down the number of messages. Or they'll get fed up and leave.
So as I said, set up more than one category of single male - standard and established, each has to be filtered separately, so if a woman joins the site and doesn't want to be beset with a slew of 'fancy a fuk' grade messages, she can simply block standard single males, whilst still being contactable by those who are familiar and successful enough with the scene to have some idea of how to actually talk to women.
Oh, you mean sort of like a verification system?
Newbies need a chance too and "established" site members can still be twats sometimes.
No, because verifications mean nothing if the fact that you're filter blocked means the person you want to contact can't read them (unless they find you first in amongst several thousand other single males - yeah, right).
Newbies can have their shot at getting into the higher status established category if they're willing to make a proper effort that so many single guys aren't.
But yes I agree that established guys can be twats too.
I've asked before and you've never given an explanation.
How are these categories to be set up?
Number of veri's?
Time spent on site?
Face to face interview, physical examination, IQ test, anal probing, picking names out of hats???
Or shall we just leave it as it is? Without the need for 'league tables', classifications and the like? The set up works for those that don't expect to be spoon fed. It doesn't need to change.
The only suggestion I'd have would be to ban incoming mails for new members. Let them go searching themselves to learn how the site works - it would be a good learning experience for them and give them time to settle in.
A"
I reckon the site would benefit from an introduction walk through for new members, to explain the basics (you're not guaranteed anything and you will have to make an effort). Female members could be warned that new members tend to receive a high volume of messages and advised/assisted in setting preferences and filters. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"..
are there really that many desperate men on here that accounts with no photos at all are getting bombarded with messages? "
Yes. Desperate men and couples. It's pathetic. |
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"
are there really that many desperate men on here that accounts with no photos at all are getting bombarded with messages?
Short answer? Yes.
Some of those men will live hundreds of miles from those women. Many will be outside of the stated preferences.
The number of decent prospects will be small but to find them in the deluge will take time, patience and effort.
With time and experience the women will learn to use the message filters to cut down the number of messages. Or they'll get fed up and leave.
So as I said, set up more than one category of single male - standard and established, each has to be filtered separately, so if a woman joins the site and doesn't want to be beset with a slew of 'fancy a fuk' grade messages, she can simply block standard single males, whilst still being contactable by those who are familiar and successful enough with the scene to have some idea of how to actually talk to women.
Oh, you mean sort of like a verification system?
Newbies need a chance too and "established" site members can still be twats sometimes.
No, because verifications mean nothing if the fact that you're filter blocked means the person you want to contact can't read them (unless they find you first in amongst several thousand other single males - yeah, right).
Newbies can have their shot at getting into the higher status established category if they're willing to make a proper effort that so many single guys aren't.
But yes I agree that established guys can be twats too.
I've asked before and you've never given an explanation.
How are these categories to be set up?
Number of veri's?
Time spent on site?
Face to face interview, physical examination, IQ test, anal probing, picking names out of hats???
Or shall we just leave it as it is? Without the need for 'league tables', classifications and the like? The set up works for those that don't expect to be spoon fed. It doesn't need to change.
The only suggestion I'd have would be to ban incoming mails for new members. Let them go searching themselves to learn how the site works - it would be a good learning experience for them and give them time to settle in.
A
Easy. Sexybrian is to be elevated to "established" level and everyone else is left to prove themselves somehow or other.
Job done."
ha ha ha established in his swinging career |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hard work for single men?
I would expect it is for many a man. There is maybe a reason why the profession of Male Gigoloing is not inundated.
Maybe at least two reasons. |
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FWIW, its not just women who get this. There are a lot of guys who can't see further than a pair of tits. Others would fuck a snake if someone would just hold it straight!
But every now and then, a gem really does turn up! |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
There was a piece on Woman's Hour this morning about internet dating. Apparently 25% of relationships now start on the internet.
I know this isn't a dating site but one of the people being interviewed described how,generally, men are linear in their approach and women are more interwoven.
So, men will send 20 messages, more or less the same, to 20 different women and wait to see who responds. Women will look at 20 different men, make a shortlist and then contact maybe one of those and wait for their response before moving on to the next one.
I think having a short period where you get to explore the site before you get messages would be helpful.
When I was first on here it was in a couple. He set up the account several days before he even told me about Fab. It meant I didn't get overwhelmed by the messages we got. When I set up my first single profile after we split I almost deleted it immediately as the number of messages was utterly unmanageable.
Men, we need you at my party. If you're struggling to meet and want to get known and show what a top guy you are then come along. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's a fact of life that almost any woman, irrespective of how she looks or presents herself will have far more success on here than almost any guy of equal status or standing.
Reminds me of living in Alaska where the men outnumber the women by about 100 to 1....
"if a woman wants a man the odds are good...but the goods are gonna be odd."
On the other hand ...
"when a woman leaves Alaska she has to remember she is going to be ugly again....."
I think you need humour to enjoy it here too.
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There are guys who go for newbies (on every site and not just here).
Think it's a bit to do with wanting new 'meat', some probably think they just joined so are desperate for a fuck, some will love that the women don't understand the site (and don't know how to block anyone).
They tend to come off as a bit predatory to me, if i'm honest."
A bit predatory, thats a Understatement more like a feeding frenzy of piranha at times just waiting for you to dip your toe in.. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"There was a piece on Woman's Hour this morning about internet dating. Apparently 25% of relationships now start on the internet.
I know this isn't a dating site but one of the people being interviewed described how,generally, men are linear in their approach and women are more interwoven.
So, men will send 20 messages, more or less the same, to 20 different women and wait to see who responds. Women will look at 20 different men, make a shortlist and then contact maybe one of those and wait for their response before moving on to the next one.
I think having a short period where you get to explore the site before you get messages would be helpful.
When I was first on here it was in a couple. He set up the account several days before he even told me about Fab. It meant I didn't get overwhelmed by the messages we got. When I set up my first single profile after we split I almost deleted it immediately as the number of messages was utterly unmanageable.
Men, we need you at my party. If you're struggling to meet and want to get known and show what a top guy you are then come along."
I've suggested to several people complaining that the site works against them (allegedly!) to hit the Xtasia foam at the end of the month - it's hardly expensive!
Funnily not one has taken up the suggestion!
And I'm somehow not surprised. It would mean they'd have to put themselves out there - face to face rather than hide behind a screen - and would potentially lose the ability to blame the site for not allowing them to get their 'great personalities' across to others.
A |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
I can't remember who suggested it, that on opening your account filters were automatically applied and the new person had to go and remove them...
Seemed a sensible idea to me.  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I can't remember who suggested it, that on opening your account filters were automatically applied and the new person had to go and remove them...
Seemed a sensible idea to me. "
That does seem sensible and easy.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can't remember who suggested it, that on opening your account filters were automatically applied and the new person had to go and remove them...
Seemed a sensible idea to me.
That does seem sensible and easy.
"
Except for a further proliferation of single men saying i've been here a year and haven't had so much of a message. There's enough of us, erm them, as it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hence why I've suggested multiple categories for single males - to prove from the get go that we're not all just numbers filling up ladies inboxes."
Can't see what benefit this would be, regions now are across the board. You get North swing in South west swing, why make it more complicated? By way of note about ratio and not getting newbie ratio right, had answer today that everyone in a certain club in bournemouth were gay and pushy, there fore she would not meet me????, not even chatted. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Hang on. Party? What party?
The one that is three threads into the planning and that you have been ignoring.
"
I've not seen it. I was a bit preoccupied last month. In the events forum? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hang on. Party? What party?
The one that is three threads into the planning and that you have been ignoring.
I've not seen it. I was a bit preoccupied last month. In the events forum?"
http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/events/346545
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
are there really that many desperate men on here that accounts with no photos at all are getting bombarded with messages?
Short answer? Yes.
Some of those men will live hundreds of miles from those women. Many will be outside of the stated preferences.
The number of decent prospects will be small but to find them in the deluge will take time, patience and effort.
With time and experience the women will learn to use the message filters to cut down the number of messages. Or they'll get fed up and leave.
So as I said, set up more than one category of single male - standard and established, each has to be filtered separately, so if a woman joins the site and doesn't want to be beset with a slew of 'fancy a fuk' grade messages, she can simply block standard single males, whilst still being contactable by those who are familiar and successful enough with the scene to have some idea of how to actually talk to women.
Oh, you mean sort of like a verification system?
Newbies need a chance too and "established" site members can still be twats sometimes.
No, because verifications mean nothing if the fact that you're filter blocked means the person you want to contact can't read them (unless they find you first in amongst several thousand other single males - yeah, right).
Newbies can have their shot at getting into the higher status established category if they're willing to make a proper effort that so many single guys aren't.
But yes I agree that established guys can be twats too.
I've asked before and you've never given an explanation."
Actually I did - you response was to the tune of 'wah wah too complicated wah wah'
"How are these categories to be set up?
Number of veri's?
Time spent on site?
Face to face interview, physical examination, IQ test, anal probing, picking names out of hats??? "
Hilarious, razor sharp wit - sarcasm of course, made all the funnier by the fact we had this argument what, a week ago? lol
"Or shall we just leave it as it is? Without the need for 'league tables', classifications and the like? The set up works for those that don't expect to be spoon fed."
'Spoon fed', an interesting expression for describing those simply being rewarded for making an effort to be good swingers? You know, spoon feeding being used to describe being given a good thing for nothing, and reward describing good things being earned, like how I've suggested? |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Goes to their heads too
Not all but a few seem to thing they are somewhat above every man on here
"
Well if guys didn't bombard every woman with messages about how gorgeous and stunning and fabulous we are because you hope to get a shag out of it, those women wouldn't get an over-inflated idea of themselves.
Some women will get a big ego when they have hundreds of men grovelling for attention and saying anything they think will get them laid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Goes to their heads too
Not all but a few seem to thing they are somewhat above every man on here
Well if guys didn't bombard every woman with messages about how gorgeous and stunning and fabulous we are because you hope to get a shag out of it, those women wouldn't get an over-inflated idea of themselves.
Some women will get a big ego when they have hundreds of men grovelling for attention and saying anything they think will get them laid."
Aye deffo
Must be the ugly ones who ain't used to attention in the real world haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Goes to their heads too
Not all but a few seem to thing they are somewhat above every man on here
Well if guys didn't bombard every woman with messages about how gorgeous and stunning and fabulous we are because you hope to get a shag out of it, those women wouldn't get an over-inflated idea of themselves.
Some women will get a big ego when they have hundreds of men grovelling for attention and saying anything they think will get them laid.
Aye deffo
Must be the ugly ones who ain't used to attention in the real world haha"
That'll go down well. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Goes to their heads too
Not all but a few seem to thing they are somewhat above every man on here
Well if guys didn't bombard every woman with messages about how gorgeous and stunning and fabulous we are because you hope to get a shag out of it, those women wouldn't get an over-inflated idea of themselves.
Some women will get a big ego when they have hundreds of men grovelling for attention and saying anything they think will get them laid.
Aye deffo
Must be the ugly ones who ain't used to attention in the real world haha"
Ahhh I see, you've been turned down by some ugly ones. All becomes clear.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Goes to their heads too
Not all but a few seem to thing they are somewhat above every man on here
Well if guys didn't bombard every woman with messages about how gorgeous and stunning and fabulous we are because you hope to get a shag out of it, those women wouldn't get an over-inflated idea of themselves.
Some women will get a big ego when they have hundreds of men grovelling for attention and saying anything they think will get them laid.
Aye deffo
Must be the ugly ones who ain't used to attention in the real world haha
Ahhh I see, you've been turned down by some ugly ones. All becomes clear.
"
Sometime it becomes even clearer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Messages off guys saying "you're beautiful" or something similar, I have no public face pictures so I think it's a silly thing to say.
I like messages off guys that enclose a face picture of themselves and requesting a face picture straight away. Them requesting a face picture says to me that they have standards and not just willing to meet anybody. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Goes to their heads too
Not all but a few seem to thing they are somewhat above every man on here
Well if guys didn't bombard every woman with messages about how gorgeous and stunning and fabulous we are because you hope to get a shag out of it, those women wouldn't get an over-inflated idea of themselves.
Some women will get a big ego when they have hundreds of men grovelling for attention and saying anything they think will
get them laid."
Honest and commen sense.
Guys should just be polite, don't try too hard. Move on if the lady isn't interested, but don't compromise your standards. Treat the ladies like you would if you met them in a supermarket. You wouldn't show them your cock or tell them they're beautiful, certainly not on first contact. In summary, be normal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
we got hundreds of messages when we first joined up off single men.Some very polite ones and some downright vulgar ones.To be honest we thought that 90% just msg us on the off chance J would answer and when she did we were proved right,when i answered it was no reply.We came to the conclusion most wanted to have sex chat with the Mrs. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"we got hundreds of messages when we first joined up off single men.Some very polite ones and some downright vulgar ones.To be honest we thought that 90% just msg us on the off chance J would answer and when she did we were proved right,when i answered it was no reply.We came to the conclusion most wanted to have sex chat with the Mrs."
That is very common.
I will discuss limits but I won't talk about specifics or intimate details of what I like to do, do, would do or have done.
A lot of guys disappear very quickly when they realise pretending they want to meet isn't going to get them wank chat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"we got hundreds of messages when we first joined up off single men.Some very polite ones and some downright vulgar ones.To be honest we thought that 90% just msg us on the off chance J would answer and when she did we were proved right,when i answered it was no reply.We came to the conclusion most wanted to have sex chat with the Mrs.
That is very common.
I will discuss limits but I won't talk about specifics or intimate details of what I like to do, do, would do or have done.
A lot of guys disappear very quickly when they realise pretending they want to meet isn't going to get them wank chat."
Limits? Please enlighten me, what does this word mean?
|
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"we got hundreds of messages when we first joined up off single men.Some very polite ones and some downright vulgar ones.To be honest we thought that 90% just msg us on the off chance J would answer and when she did we were proved right,when i answered it was no reply.We came to the conclusion most wanted to have sex chat with the Mrs.
That is very common.
I will discuss limits but I won't talk about specifics or intimate details of what I like to do, do, would do or have done.
A lot of guys disappear very quickly when they realise pretending they want to meet isn't going to get them wank chat.
Limits? Please enlighten me, what does this word mean?
"
Things they won't let me do to them  Oh and the usual, most of which I'm not even allowed to mention on here.
Plus things like no bareback, casual sex partners don't get to cum in my mouth. That sort of stuff. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think people should be able to block profiles who don't satisfy their criteria such as body type, marital status or length of text on profile. Wading through 100s of messages from people who haven't read your profile as a new member isn't fun and makes it so difficult to find those you want to meet. No wonder women often up and leave! |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I think people should be able to block profiles who don't satisfy their criteria such as body type, marital status or length of text on profile. Wading through 100s of messages from people who haven't read your profile as a new member isn't fun and makes it so difficult to find those you want to meet. No wonder women often up and leave!"
People would lie though.
It's common for people to lie about their age on their profile to get round age filters. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think people should be able to block profiles who don't satisfy their criteria such as body type, marital status or length of text on profile. Wading through 100s of messages from people who haven't read your profile as a new member isn't fun and makes it so difficult to find those you want to meet. No wonder women often up and leave!
People would lie though.
It's common for people to lie about their age on their profile to get round age filters."
True but some don't. I'm getting a lot more messages recently staying up front 'I'm married' probably because they don't want anyone who might drop them in it.
Could definitely adopt the text or profile length idea though. Plenty of piranhas use it - you can't send a message less than 50 characters to some people. Might reduce the 'fancy a fuck?' element. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most of the time they don't care what you actually look like. A lot of people just see sexy underwear and think phwoar, they like what you're wearing rather than what you look like, they have fetishes for clothes especially stockings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Really? I mean yeah sure, it's easier for a lady on here in the sense she'll have a lot of chaps offering their time but isn't that just the natural balance of the world? The guys do the work as it were....look at nature, it's mainly the males that need the ploomage or nest building skills or the loudest call or fanciest mating display so that's just normal for a dude to have to make some effort...
I don't think it's especially hard on here though to be honest, I mean, how hard can it be? Your just chatting to people...its all pretty straight forward stuff no? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Messages off guys saying "you're beautiful" or something similar, I have no public face pictures so I think it's a silly thing to say.
I like messages off guys that enclose a face picture of themselves and requesting a face picture straight away. Them requesting a face picture says to me that they have standards and not just willing to meet anybody. "
They say that even if you have no pictures just a shadow.
It is very silly |
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By *DFL6828Man
over a year ago
Leicester |
I've been on here on and off for about 4years and have only met in that time once.
I also read all the profile and if there is a key word i put that in and try to work on some common ground. I also send a photo of my face. I pretty much get zero responces.
So now i don't bother. But do come on and look at what's going on and go to clubs every now and then also try to get to socials. IM finding that is starting to work for me. |
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