FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > discreet....?
discreet....?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Or descrete as spelt sometimes. Lol. Does this automatically make u think they are NOT single? Or am I being judgemental? I want discretion too but I haven't put it on my profile. I thought it was a given? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or descrete as spelt sometimes. Lol. Does this automatically make u think they are NOT single? Or am I being judgemental? I want discretion too but I haven't put it on my profile. I thought it was a given? "
I think it does imply that they might be not single, but not necessarily, maybe they want discretion because of their job... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I am the same I think it means they are with someone, and when someone says they are unhappily married I still won't go there!"
Me too. 'Yes I'm married and if that puts u off then move on' Don't worry I will, dude. |
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"I am the same I think it means they are with someone, and when someone says they are unhappily married I still won't go there!
Me too. 'Yes I'm married and if that puts u off then move on' Don't worry I will, dude. "
so really this is another married person bashing thread? Not about the reasons for asking for discretion? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Could be, or could be for work or just because they choose to be that way about their sex life. It's up to them and I'm sure there's a plethora of reasons to be discrete and would highly doubt that all those who value discretion do so because they're cheating. Some, sure. All? Doubtfull...... |
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"Could be, or could be for work or just because they choose to be that way about their sex life. It's up to them and I'm sure there's a plethora of reasons to be discrete and would highly doubt that all those who value discretion do so because they're cheating. Some, sure. All? Doubtfull......"
Agreed. I think we used to ask for discretion in our profile but then again we are married  .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was single till a couple weeks ago(now only using fab for chat and forums) but i had discreet on my profile. Discreet doesnt always mean married etc. Im just a private person not wanting everyone knowing my business |
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There are a few words that I'm not really sure why people use them
Discreet - as opposed to what? Turning up for a meet with a full carnival procession wearing a fabswingers tshirt
And my other one is 'I'm very clean and expect the same' surely no one would admit to being a minger. Aren't those that are a bit stinky probably aren't even aware.. I've yet to find a profile that says 'I stink of BO and have terrible knob cheese.. Seeking similar  ' |
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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago
Nr Manchester |
Discretion may be necessary for a variety of reasons, not just because they're married. It maybe because of their job or would rather friends or/and family don't know about them.
Although we're well beyond the Victorian era our culture still holds onto many of the Victorian ideals, beliefs and practices on the subject of sex. And don't even get me started on religion!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Could be, or could be for work or just because they choose to be that way about their sex life. It's up to them and I'm sure there's a plethora of reasons to be discrete and would highly doubt that all those who value discretion do so because they're cheating. Some, sure. All? Doubtfull......"
 I've had someone discuss / ask about me with someone else he met. I value discretion and it's certainly not because I'm married, I just didn't appreciate being the topic of discussion during another meet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just automatically presume everyone is not single on here anyway, now i've been here a while. "
Yes so do I, also I have had men give out my phone number and even my address.
so I don't realy trust anyone much. |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"
Yes so do I, also I have had men give out my phone number and even my address.
so I don't realy trust anyone much."
That's not on.
I tend to take it to mean, whilst I'm happy to play with a TG, I wouldn't really want my neighbours to see one coming to my house. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ah i must be the odd one out here as i have never associated discreet with people being in a relationship and wanting it kept a secret.
I have always used this phrase to confirm to people i will not divulge anything any information about them to others. We send veris if people request it but other than that we keep meet details to ourselves thats how we feel with regard to this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just automatically presume everyone is not single on here anyway, now i've been here a while.
Yes so do I, also I have had men give out my phone number and even my address.
so I don't realy trust anyone much."
Not had that yet (so far as i know), i do have mates round here i can call on if i get any trouble though. How did you know they'd given out your address?
Usually guys slip up and tell you they aren't single eventually, bound to happen if you meet a fair bit, but i even had one guy just come out with it the first time i met him. :/ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Discretion is a must for me......having my name dragged through the media and paparazzi following your every move isn't something Id like to experience again.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just automatically presume everyone is not single on here anyway, now i've been here a while.
Yes so do I, also I have had men give out my phone number and even my address.
so I don't realy trust anyone much.
Not had that yet (so far as i know), i do have mates round here i can call on if i get any trouble though. How did you know they'd given out your address?
Usually guys slip up and tell you they aren't single eventually, bound to happen if you meet a fair bit, but i even had one guy just come out with it the first time i met him. :/"
I met a man once before who wanted to see me again with a couple of other men, only the other man was wearing dark glasses in his picture, when he turned up I didn't recognise him, I kept giving him funny looks, so afterwards I went through my messages then sent the man who I had met before a message and he said it was him only it wasn't, he has also contacted me again so I blocked him and will not agree to meet men wearing dark glasses in their pictures.
Then I had a young man call me saying he had met me before I kept telling him I hadn't but he kept calling me, I met him in the end and I was right I had never met him before, also at least another message sinse saying the same from someone else so I ignored them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just automatically presume everyone is not single on here anyway, now i've been here a while.
Yes so do I, also I have had men give out my phone number and even my address.
so I don't realy trust anyone much.
Not had that yet (so far as i know), i do have mates round here i can call on if i get any trouble though. How did you know they'd given out your address?
Usually guys slip up and tell you they aren't single eventually, bound to happen if you meet a fair bit, but i even had one guy just come out with it the first time i met him. :/
I met a man once before who wanted to see me again with a couple of other men, only the other man was wearing dark glasses in his picture, when he turned up I didn't recognise him, I kept giving him funny looks, so afterwards I went through my messages then sent the man who I had met before a message and he said it was him only it wasn't, he has also contacted me again so I blocked him and will not agree to meet men wearing dark glasses in their pictures.
Then I had a young man call me saying he had met me before I kept telling him I hadn't but he kept calling me, I met him in the end and I was right I had never met him before, also at least another message sinse saying the same from someone else so I ignored them."
Thanks for answering my question. Don't know what i'd do if someone gave out my info.
That's really creepy, hope you're ok. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just automatically presume everyone is not single on here anyway, now i've been here a while.
Yes so do I, also I have had men give out my phone number and even my address.
so I don't realy trust anyone much.
Not had that yet (so far as i know), i do have mates round here i can call on if i get any trouble though. How did you know they'd given out your address?
Usually guys slip up and tell you they aren't single eventually, bound to happen if you meet a fair bit, but i even had one guy just come out with it the first time i met him. :/
I met a man once before who wanted to see me again with a couple of other men, only the other man was wearing dark glasses in his picture, when he turned up I didn't recognise him, I kept giving him funny looks, so afterwards I went through my messages then sent the man who I had met before a message and he said it was him only it wasn't, he has also contacted me again so I blocked him and will not agree to meet men wearing dark glasses in their pictures.
Then I had a young man call me saying he had met me before I kept telling him I hadn't but he kept calling me, I met him in the end and I was right I had never met him before, also at least another message sinse saying the same from someone else so I ignored them.
Thanks for answering my question. Don't know what i'd do if someone gave out my info.
That's really creepy, hope you're ok."
It is realy creepy, my hubby and son is here though but I did get freaked out once by someone who kept pestering me so I kept locking my doors.
My son said why are you locking the door, he thought it was odd.
I don't meet more than one man at a time now though, am more careful. |
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By *ipsTeaserCouple
over a year ago
here and there, thereabouts |
Discrete to us means just that, not attached.
I think some people are very open about their swinging lifestyle and others are not, for varying reasons. We see our sex life as ours not something for our friends , family and work to judge- we also do not wish to cross our 'Fab' world with our 'real' world. We use for the word for its actual Meaning on our profile, but have noticed it seems to be used to mean attached often on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or descrete as spelt sometimes. Lol. Does this automatically make u think they are NOT single? Or am I being judgemental? I want discretion too but I haven't put it on my profile. I thought it was a given? "
We assume that any man or woman on here is cheating on someone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just automatically presume everyone is not single on here anyway, now i've been here a while.
Yes so do I, also I have had men give out my phone number and even my address.
so I don't realy trust anyone much.
Not had that yet (so far as i know), i do have mates round here i can call on if i get any trouble though. How did you know they'd given out your address?
Usually guys slip up and tell you they aren't single eventually, bound to happen if you meet a fair bit, but i even had one guy just come out with it the first time i met him. :/
I met a man once before who wanted to see me again with a couple of other men, only the other man was wearing dark glasses in his picture, when he turned up I didn't recognise him, I kept giving him funny looks, so afterwards I went through my messages then sent the man who I had met before a message and he said it was him only it wasn't, he has also contacted me again so I blocked him and will not agree to meet men wearing dark glasses in their pictures.
Then I had a young man call me saying he had met me before I kept telling him I hadn't but he kept calling me, I met him in the end and I was right I had never met him before, also at least another message sinse saying the same from someone else so I ignored them.
Thanks for answering my question. Don't know what i'd do if someone gave out my info.
That's really creepy, hope you're ok.
It is realy creepy, my hubby and son is here though but I did get freaked out once by someone who kept pestering me so I kept locking my doors.
My son said why are you locking the door, he thought it was odd.
I don't meet more than one man at a time now though, am more careful."
Yeah don't blame you tbh. And good job you have people living with you.
I think some people have totally got the wrong idea about promiscuous sex and the people involved in it. |
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"Or descrete as spelt sometimes. Lol. Does this automatically make u think they are NOT single? Or am I being judgemental? I want discretion too but I haven't put it on my profile. I thought it was a given? "
You're being judgmental. |
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Look at it from a different angle. If (i assume we are talking about "single" blokes in the main) what if a single guy had on his profile "not bothered about being discreet" would you then assume he is a blabber mouth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Discreet can mean lots of things. To some it's not texting to say 'hi' at random times as they're married. To some they work in a public job. To some it's they don't want to be approached in the street when they're with friends or their kids.
For me it's the second one. If you rock up to where I'm working I don't want any fab related discussions there, nor do I want to be recognised on here by people I might work for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Discrete is just that someone values privacy.
Everyone's privacy.
I have no attachment to anyone BUT I understand that many are married, partners not aware, etc.
So there needs to be discretion.
Others have particularly sensitive jobs.
Some like myself have businesses that could be damaged by anyone being indiscrete.
"Ask no questions - no answers necessary " is a good mantra. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope, not necessarily. There are many reasons people want discretion, don't want to display a face photo etc., not just that they're married or attached. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are a few words that I'm not really sure why people use them
Discreet - as opposed to what? Turning up for a meet with a full carnival procession wearing a fabswingers tshirt
And my other one is 'I'm very clean and expect the same' surely no one would admit to being a minger. Aren't those that are a bit stinky probably aren't even aware.. I've yet to find a profile that says 'I stink of BO and have terrible knob cheese.. Seeking similar '"
Totally agree. I don't think these are things that need to be in a profile, then again, some may have felt the need to add these things due to previous experiences.
I am always discreet and expect the same - but I take this as given with swinging. Same with cleanliness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People are interpreting this word to suit themselves but you really need to just use it as its meant, look it up in the dictionery it doesnt mean cheating or anything of the sort.
Bollox can mean talking crap or the dangly bits between a mans legs lol.
Discreet just basically means you wont blab |
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By *em4ejacWoman
over a year ago
Cougarville |
I took it to mean that if you met someone / people on the site that it was private between yourselves . And not to have your name and your talents in the bedroom blabbed around the local pub.
A young lad on here was able to guess who I was by reading just my profile and said he heard it in the pub while I was in it . I'm not impressed with the person whoever he is for not being discreet . I will have to investigate . Karma  |
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exactly!