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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers or briefs?
A: You'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all.
Q: What do you call a pregnancy that begins while using birth control?
A: A misconception.
Q: What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant?
A: Have sex just once a year.
Q: What is a chastity belt?
A: A labor-saving device.
Q: When does a woman's biological clock start ticking?
A: Right after she looks in the mirror and thinks, "On my God, crow's feet!"
Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: Should I have a baby after 40?
A. No, 40 children is way too many already.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.
Q: Does pregnancy affect a woman's memory?
A: Most of the ladies I asked don't remember.
Q: My breasts, rear end & even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A: Yes, your bladder.
Q: Ever since I've been pregnant, I haven't been able to go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving?
A: Depends on what your doing with them.
Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A: Cause you're fatter then they are.
Q: My wife is 5 months pregnant and so moody that she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: Under what circumstances can sex at the end of pregnancy bring on labor?
A: When the sex is between your husband and another woman.
Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a Playboy centerfold?
A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.
Q: What position should the baby be in during the ninth month of pregnancy?
A: Head down, pressing firmly on your bladder.
Q: What are forceps?
A: Giant baby tweezers.
Q: What's the best way to get a man to give up his seat to a pregnant woman?
A: Brute force.
Q: How do I know if my baby has dropped?
A: He/She will start crying. Be more careful!.
Q: How long is the average woman in labor?
A: Whatever she says, divided by two.
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there a reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" is a concern for you. |
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