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To reply or to reply
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Sorry accidently deleted...if you get a message from someone you're not interested in do you reply or ignore"
We look at the profile first.
If it's the polar opposite of clear details in our profile? Straight delete and often a block.
If we read the message and there's any mention of meeting today/tomorrow/at a specified time? As per our profile - delete.
If it's just down to our preferences that there's no interest? A simple thanks but no thanks.
Doesn't matter if the message is from a male, female or couple.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally speaking, if I was messaging a lady and she didn't reply, I would want to know why if I fit all of her criteria. If she specifically stated on her profile "No-one under 35, no-one under 6'0", no-one with facial hair", etc, then I think it's fair enough to ignore me if I ignored her profile. |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"Personally speaking, if I was messaging a lady and she didn't reply, I would want to know why if I fit all of her criteria. If she specifically stated on her profile "No-one under 35, no-one under 6'0", no-one with facial hair", etc, then I think it's fair enough to ignore me if I ignored her profile."
How would you know you fit all her criteria? Maybe she doesn't think you do...? |
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I always reply with a courteous no, maybe a short chat because I am nice like that. 
However if I were a chick on here I would not be arsed to reply as the number would be slightly more than my daily trickle of unsolicited messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally speaking, if I was messaging a lady and she didn't reply, I would want to know why if I fit all of her criteria. If she specifically stated on her profile "No-one under 35, no-one under 6'0", no-one with facial hair", etc, then I think it's fair enough to ignore me if I ignored her profile."
If the Lady doesnt reply how will you find out why ?
Gimp  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally speaking, if I was messaging a lady and she didn't reply, I would want to know why if I fit all of her criteria. If she specifically stated on her profile "No-one under 35, no-one under 6'0", no-one with facial hair", etc, then I think it's fair enough to ignore me if I ignored her profile.
How would you know you fit all her criteria? Maybe she doesn't think you do...?"
For example, if she said she loves guys with short hair, facial hair, glasses, short, slim physique, etc, then I'd say I'd fit that criteria. That's just a rough example. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Personally speaking, if I was messaging a lady and she didn't reply, I would want to know why if I fit all of her criteria."
But the detail you can go into is largely fixed rather than variable - height, age etc - and not personal tastes that are sometimes near impossible to put into words.
Fitting someone's 'criteria' as displayed on a profile means you MAY meet some of the criteria but not all.
And expecting a response because you think you meet someone's requirements is second guessing that person and is both counter productive and a tad disrespectful.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally speaking, if I was messaging a lady and she didn't reply, I would want to know why if I fit all of her criteria. If she specifically stated on her profile "No-one under 35, no-one under 6'0", no-one with facial hair", etc, then I think it's fair enough to ignore me if I ignored her profile.
How would you know you fit all her criteria? Maybe she doesn't think you do...?"
You may meet the criteria but she may not find you attractive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally speaking, if I was messaging a lady and she didn't reply, I would want to know why if I fit all of her criteria. If she specifically stated on her profile "No-one under 35, no-one under 6'0", no-one with facial hair", etc, then I think it's fair enough to ignore me if I ignored her profile.
If the Lady doesnt reply how will you find out why ?
Gimp "
Well I wouldn't  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always reply with a courteous no, maybe a short chat because I am nice like that.
However if I were a chick on here I would not be arsed to reply as the number would be slightly more than my daily trickle of unsolicited messages. "
I just think it bad manners ignoring messages..even if we send, thanks but no thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally speaking, if I was messaging a lady and she didn't reply, I would want to know why if I fit all of her criteria. If she specifically stated on her profile "No-one under 35, no-one under 6'0", no-one with facial hair", etc, then I think it's fair enough to ignore me if I ignored her profile."
This is the exact reason most couples and ignore and block , as soon as you reply no thanks you get the usual " why not " messages , you don't have an automatic right to a reply , if they are interested they'll reply , simple. If they don't then they're not , why do u need to know why ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont get offended by anyone on here so a polite fuck off or even a no thanks wouldnt go a miss if your not interested.
I dont mind even being blocked as it stops me ever sendong messages again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they put the title "Phoenix" on the message I reply.
Whether someone messages me and they're good looking and intelligent but don't put the title on to the message I delete it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"At times you just don't feel like playing ping pong back a forth . Its not your being rude its just you don't feel like it."
But if you dont reply to messages how would you get meets? |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"Personally speaking, if I was messaging a lady and she didn't reply, I would want to know why if I fit all of her criteria. If she specifically stated on her profile "No-one under 35, no-one under 6'0", no-one with facial hair", etc, then I think it's fair enough to ignore me if I ignored her profile.
How would you know you fit all her criteria? Maybe she doesn't think you do...?
For example, if she said she loves guys with short hair, facial hair, glasses, short, slim physique, etc, then I'd say I'd fit that criteria. That's just a rough example. "
But she may look at your pictures, and profile, and think - not for me. Do you think being messaged no, and because of x, y and z would make a rejection feel less of a rejection?
I just don't get it... and yes I have sent first messages that have been deleted unanswered - but I don't worry about it - I focus on the people that do message that fit what I am looking for. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"At times you just don't feel like playing ping pong back a forth . Its not your being rude its just you don't feel like it.
But if you dont reply to messages how would you get meets?"
By only replying to those you may - and the key word is may - want to meet?
Surely that's not rocket science? 
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally speaking, if I was messaging a lady and she didn't reply, I would want to know why if I fit all of her criteria. If she specifically stated on her profile "No-one under 35, no-one under 6'0", no-one with facial hair", etc, then I think it's fair enough to ignore me if I ignored her profile.
How would you know you fit all her criteria? Maybe she doesn't think you do...?
For example, if she said she loves guys with short hair, facial hair, glasses, short, slim physique, etc, then I'd say I'd fit that criteria. That's just a rough example.
But she may look at your pictures, and profile, and think - not for me. Do you think being messaged no, and because of x, y and z would make a rejection feel less of a rejection?
I just don't get it... and yes I have sent first messages that have been deleted unanswered - but I don't worry about it - I focus on the people that do message that fit what I am looking for."
It might be something I could improve on. Perhaps my profile is badly written, or my list of preferences is too vague. I'm always looking to improve. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At times you just don't feel like playing ping pong back a forth . Its not your being rude its just you don't feel like it.
But if you dont reply to messages how would you get meets?"
Surely if there first message doesn't compel you to answer them then you're not going to want to meet them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At times you just don't feel like playing ping pong back a forth . Its not your being rude its just you don't feel like it.
But if you dont reply to messages how would you get meets?
By only replying to those you may - and the key word is may - want to meet?
Surely that's not rocket science?
A"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At times you just don't feel like playing ping pong back a forth . Its not your being rude its just you don't feel like it.
But if you dont reply to messages how would you get meets?"
I don't meet a lot its just now and again I am here really to read and wright on forums . |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"Personally speaking, if I was messaging a lady and she didn't reply, I would want to know why if I fit all of her criteria. If she specifically stated on her profile "No-one under 35, no-one under 6'0", no-one with facial hair", etc, then I think it's fair enough to ignore me if I ignored her profile.
How would you know you fit all her criteria? Maybe she doesn't think you do...?
For example, if she said she loves guys with short hair, facial hair, glasses, short, slim physique, etc, then I'd say I'd fit that criteria. That's just a rough example.
But she may look at your pictures, and profile, and think - not for me. Do you think being messaged no, and because of x, y and z would make a rejection feel less of a rejection?
I just don't get it... and yes I have sent first messages that have been deleted unanswered - but I don't worry about it - I focus on the people that do message that fit what I am looking for.
It might be something I could improve on. Perhaps my profile is badly written, or my list of preferences is too vague. I'm always looking to improve."
Sorry, I wasn't saying there was anything wrong with your profile - I haven't even looked at it - it was just an example. I've had people message me telling me they fit my criteria perfectly, and I've looked at profiles and images, and just thought "not for me" - you cannot tick box attraction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally speaking, if I was messaging a lady and she didn't reply, I would want to know why if I fit all of her criteria. If she specifically stated on her profile "No-one under 35, no-one under 6'0", no-one with facial hair", etc, then I think it's fair enough to ignore me if I ignored her profile.
How would you know you fit all her criteria? Maybe she doesn't think you do...?
For example, if she said she loves guys with short hair, facial hair, glasses, short, slim physique, etc, then I'd say I'd fit that criteria. That's just a rough example.
But she may look at your pictures, and profile, and think - not for me. Do you think being messaged no, and because of x, y and z would make a rejection feel less of a rejection?
I just don't get it... and yes I have sent first messages that have been deleted unanswered - but I don't worry about it - I focus on the people that do message that fit what I am looking for.
It might be something I could improve on. Perhaps my profile is badly written, or my list of preferences is too vague. I'm always looking to improve.
Sorry, I wasn't saying there was anything wrong with your profile - I haven't even looked at it - it was just an example. I've had people message me telling me they fit my criteria perfectly, and I've looked at profiles and images, and just thought "not for me" - you cannot tick box attraction."
No, that's OK, I was also using the profile thing as an example also. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally speaking, if I was messaging a lady and she didn't reply, I would want to know why if I fit all of her criteria. If she specifically stated on her profile "No-one under 35, no-one under 6'0", no-one with facial hair", etc, then I think it's fair enough to ignore me if I ignored her profile.
How would you know you fit all her criteria? Maybe she doesn't think you do...?
For example, if she said she loves guys with short hair, facial hair, glasses, short, slim physique, etc, then I'd say I'd fit that criteria. That's just a rough example.
But she may look at your pictures, and profile, and think - not for me. Do you think being messaged no, and because of x, y and z would make a rejection feel less of a rejection?
I just don't get it... and yes I have sent first messages that have been deleted unanswered - but I don't worry about it - I focus on the people that do message that fit what I am looking for.
It might be something I could improve on. Perhaps my profile is badly written, or my list of preferences is too vague. I'm always looking to improve.
Sorry, I wasn't saying there was anything wrong with your profile - I haven't even looked at it - it was just an example. I've had people message me telling me they fit my criteria perfectly, and I've looked at profiles and images, and just thought "not for me" - you cannot tick box attraction.
No, that's OK, I was also using the profile thing as an example also."
Argh! I said 'also' twice in one sentence *puts gun to head*. |
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