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FAVE NURSERY RHYMES

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Humpty Dumpty sat on a bed

Little bo peep was giving him head

As he came she started to weep

She could tell by the taste

He'd been shagging her sheep!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

lol

love it

must remember not to sing that version to the kids .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/08/10 11:50:00]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore

Humpty Dumpty fucked her some more

All the Kings horses and all the kings men

Bent the bitch over and fucked her again.

Must of been a gang bang lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

hey didle diddle

the cat had a widdle

all over the kitchen floor.

the little dog laughed

to see such fun

so the cat

did a lttle bit more

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

mary had a little lamb

she also had a bear

ive often seen her little lamb

but ive never seen her bare

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mary had a little lamb it ran into a pylon

10,000 volts went up its arse and turned its wool to nylon

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A Barata diz que tem sete saias de filó

É mentira da barata, ela tem é uma só

Ah ra ra, iá ro ró, ela tem é uma só !

A Barata diz que tem um sapato de veludo

É mentira da barata, o pé dela é peludo

Ah ra ra, Iu ru ru, o pé dela é peludo !

A Barata diz que tem um sapato de fivela

É mentira da barata, o sapato é da mãe dela

ah rá rá, oh ró ró, o sapato é da mãe dela !

A Barata diz que tem uma cama de marfim

É mentira da barata, ela tem é de capim

Ah ra ra, rim rim rim, ela tem é de capim !

A Barata diz que tem um anel de formatura

É mentira da barata, ela tem é casca dura

Ah ra ra, iu ru ru, ela tem é casca dura !

A Barata diz que tem o cabelo cacheado

É mentira da barata, ela tem coco raspado

Ah ra ra, ia ro ró, ela tem coco raspado !

It's about cockroaches.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

hey diddle diddle lindas on the fiddle .

she opens her legs for cash.

once shes been fucked and he has cum.

the spunk trickles out of her gash .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

porque ela tem um sapato peludo

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

before anyone starts, I like tv's this is just a joke

Jack and jill went up the hill

so Jack could lick Jills fanny

Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock

coz Jills a fucking tranny

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hickory Dickory Dock

the mouse ran up the clock

the mouse ran down

his arse was brown

and so was the cuckoos cock

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A Barata diz que tem sete saias de filó

É mentira da barata, ela tem é uma só

Ah ra ra, iá ro ró, ela tem é uma só !

A Barata diz que tem um sapato de veludo

É mentira da barata, o pé dela é peludo

Ah ra ra, Iu ru ru, o pé dela é peludo !

A Barata diz que tem um sapato de fivela

É mentira da barata, o sapato é da mãe dela

ah rá rá, oh ró ró, o sapato é da mãe dela !

A Barata diz que tem uma cama de marfim

É mentira da barata, ela tem é de capim

Ah ra ra, rim rim rim, ela tem é de capim !

A Barata diz que tem um anel de formatura

É mentira da barata, ela tem é casca dura

Ah ra ra, iu ru ru, ela tem é casca dura !

A Barata diz que tem o cabelo cacheado

É mentira da barata, ela tem coco raspado

Ah ra ra, ia ro ró, ela tem coco raspado !

It's about cockroaches.

The cockroach says she has seven skirts of tulle

It 's a lie, she has is one

Ah ra ra, go ro rho she has is just one!

The cockroach says she has a velvet shoe

It 's a lie, her foot is hairy

Ah ra ra, Iu ru ru, her foot is furry!

The cockroach says she has a shoe buckle

It 's a lie, the shoe is her mother's

ah ha ha, oh Rho Rho, the shoe is her mother!

The cockroach says she has a bed of ivory

It 's a lie, she has is grass

Ah ra ra, kidney kidney kidney, she has is grass!

The cockroach says she has a graduation ring

It 's a lie, it has the hard shell

Ah ra ra, iu ru ru, she's got is hard shell!

The cockroach says she has curly hair

It 's a lie, it has grated coconut

Ah ra ra, ro would Rho, it has grated coconut!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeah it's weird in English. It made more sense in Mozambique in the 70s when I was 4!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yeah it's weird in English. It made more sense in Mozambique in the 70s when I was 4!"

it certainly sounds mozambique to me

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,

The structure of the wall was not correct

so he won five grand through Claims Direct

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Granny Crumpet sat in the forum

Writing politely with utmost decorum

She logged of her puter and waltzed off with glee

Cos she's having her dinner but firstly a pee !

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By *ushroom7Man over a year ago

Bradford

Courtesy of Judge Dread :

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard

To fetch her poor doggy a bone

But when she got there the cupboard was bare

So he gave her a bone of his own

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Little Miss Muffet,

Sat on her tuffet,

Eating some curds and whey,

Along came a spider,

And sat down beside her,

So she smashed it's brains out with her spoon.

Hey diddle diddle,

The cat had a piddle,

All over the bathroom mat,

The little dog laughed,

To see such fun,

And piddled all over the cat.

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By *ushroom7Man over a year ago

Bradford

Mary had a little pig

she couldn't stop it gruntin'

she took it down the garden path

and smashed the little runt in.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There was a little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good, she was very, very good, but when she was bad....she got diamonds, a fur coat, a beach front apartment, a sports car........

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sing a song of syphilis,

a pussy full of crabs,

4 and 20 ulcers,

Covered in black scabs,

When the scabs were opened,

The pussy it did sing,

Isn't this a dirty place to put your penis in?

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By *empnbunkCouple over a year ago

south coast

Mary had a little pig,

She kept it fat and plastered;

And when the price of pork went up,

She shot the little bastard.

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By *empnbunkCouple over a year ago

south coast

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.

kissed the girls and made them cry.

When the boys came out to play,

He kissed them too...cause he was funny that way

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By *empnbunkCouple over a year ago

south coast

Mary had a little skirt

with splits right up the sides

and every time that Mary walked

the boys could see her Thighs

Mary had another skirt

'twas split right up the front

..............................

but she didn't wear that one very often

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By *umourCouple over a year ago

Rushden

Mary had a little cat

She kept it in a bucket

And every time it clamered out

The dog would try to put it back in again

(Never have found a rhyme for that last line!

)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mary had a little cat,

And while it was having a kip,

She threw it in a wheelie bin,

And now its at the tip.

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By *avfavMan over a year ago

south lincs north cambs

my fave song was the alternate delilah

I saw her shite on the night that I licked her vagina

She was thrilled to bits when I came on her tits in one gush

Sheee stoooood there gagging

I thrust once i thrust twice and she couldn't take anymoooore

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By *ll of a QuiverCouple over a year ago

Douglas

Hickory dickory dock

My wife was sucking my cock

The clock struck two

I shot my goo

All over her nice new frock

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By *ornyandnymphoCouple over a year ago

poole

Little miss muffet

Sat on her tuffet

Knickers all tattered and torn

It wasn't a spider

That sat down besider her

It was little boy blue with a horn

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

WELL I JUST CANT COMPETE HERE!

i love all dirty pervy versions of nursey rhymes...

fabulous..

BRING ON MORE:

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Little jack horner sat in the corner licking his girlfriend dry, he put in his tongue and pulled out some cum and said. . . .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Little jack horner sat in the corner licking his girlfriend dry, he put in his tongue and pulled out some cum and said. . . ."

Wot a good boy am i ! lol lol

mao

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ickory dickory dock, cum n suck my big cock, i'll cum in ya mouth, if u cum to the south, its big tho so watch out 4 jawlock

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ickory dickory dock, cum n suck my big cock, i'll cum in ya mouth, if u cum to the south, its big tho so watch out 4 jawlock "

fabulous!

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By *ushroom7Man over a year ago

Bradford

my grandfathers cock

was too big for his jock

so it trailed 20 years on the floor

my grandmother died

on the first night she tried

taking just a little bit more

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

my grandfathers cock

was too big for his jock

so it trailed 20 years on the floor

my grandmother died

on the first night she tried

taking just a little bit more"

yeah! hoooooooo hoooooooo ooooooo.lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mary ad a massive cunt, she knew it was a bigun, she wished that it was really tight and not the size of wigan, ???

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By *umourCouple over a year ago

Rushden

"WELL I JUST CANT COMPETE HERE!

Come on Geezer, that never stopped you before!

Welcome back Notty, now be a good boy and play nice and no more fighting!

lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"WELL I JUST CANT COMPETE HERE!

Come on Geezer, that never stopped you before!

Welcome back Notty, now be a good boy and play nice and no more fighting!

lol"

WEll u never know ! all that could change! lol teeee heeeee.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I thought I’d get a fetish; they seem to be all the rage,

I’ve seen it in my girly mags; it’s on almost every page.

Rubber masks and blow-up dolls, and all that freaky shite,

A plastic shlong that’s 12 inch long and keeps you up all night.

Well, first I thought, a swingers club, that would be just the job,

All those ladies, going crazy, hungry for my knob.

So I found one in my area, and gave those girls a call,

But members can’t be members if their members are too small.

So I thought of Tantric Sex, you can shag for days and days,

But if I found someone who’d stay that long, I’d be fuckin’ well amazed.

And I didn’t like S&M as I found out to my cost,

Whips and chains cause now’t but pain, and my short-term memory’s lost.

I’m not into self-mutilation; it would leave to many scars,

And being gay just and ain’t my way but I do enjoy the bars.

I guess I’ll just have to face it; perversions aren’t my scene,

So, if it’s all right, I’ll stay home tonight, and just have a wank…

In beans.

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By *umourCouple over a year ago

Rushden

"WELL I JUST CANT COMPETE HERE!

Come on Geezer, that never stopped you before!

Welcome back Notty, now be a good boy and play nice and no more fighting!

lol

WEll u never know ! all that could change! lol teeee heeeee.

Seriously though matey, welcome back and change if you want, but not too much

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"WELL I JUST CANT COMPETE HERE!

Come on Geezer, that never stopped you before!

Welcome back Notty, now be a good boy and play nice and no more fighting!

lol

WEll u never know ! all that could change! lol teeee heeeee.

Seriously though matey, welcome back and change if you want, but not too much

Why thank u very much u2...very kind of u to say....cheers! x

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By *plpxp2Couple over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Mary had a little lamb she also had a duck, She put them on the mantle piece to see if they could..............

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By *plpxp2Couple over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Jack and Jill

Went up the hill

And planned to do some kissing.

Jack made a pass

and grabbed her ass

Now his two front teeth are missing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Little miss muffett

sat on a tuffet

played with a pussy

made her all gushy!

She then said---i fucking LOVE IT!

lol

i tried!!! lol

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By *ertngladCouple over a year ago

thornton -cleveleys

Hickory dickory dock The mouse ran up the clock And got chewed up in the machinery.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hickory dickory dock The mouse ran up the clock And got chewed up in the machinery."

eh??? eh??? lol lol it dont RHYME! lol oooooer.

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By *ushroom7Man over a year ago

Bradford

Oh dear little Flo

i love you so

especially in your nightie

when the moonlight flits

across your tits

oh, jesus christ almighty

regards

derek and clive

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

humpty dumpty had a great fall

when he fell off!

he thought about jumping into his car giving some traction,,,

ended up in the woods watching some dogging action!

ta-da!

regards:

Bert/Mildred

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